10 Cool Things

Well hello again, there!

It's hard to believe that it has been over a year since my last update. So much has happened since then! Looking back at all the changes in my life, both positive and negative, I guess I can understand why updating my blog wasn't too high on my to-do list. But as most scribes do, I feel a need to keep a record to help me reflect on how far I've come. So here goes...

10 Cool Things 

(that have happened since my last update) 

1. Defended my thesis! Yup, I finally finished my thesis, successfully defended it, quickly made all the required edits, officially submitted it, and received my bound copies! And yes, I did have a super epic party to celebrate. Disco bingo at the Grad Club with some close friends - a perfect fit!

Bound!

2. Convocated. Twice. First comes tuition, then comes classes, then comes a graduation event complete with cap and gown! Or in my case, two! My B.Ed Convocation Day was shared with school friends and close family, while my M.A. Convocation was celebrated with my parents and my BFF. These two splendid days were full of special moments - like getting a hug from the Principal. Twice!

B.Ed - <3 Kingston & Queens U

M.A. - Masters get to wear cool hoods

3. Worked F1. This was a first for me. I always thought it would be cool to work at least one of every major sporting event type. Perhaps I will still accomplish this goal someday, but for now, my TV Production career is on indefinite hold. You might say I'm on the IR list. But before I left Canada, I got to spend one last gig with my TV family - and even met my BFF doing her gig near the tracks! Another first! (And yes, I still miss working live TV events.)

Driving on the track post-race!

4. Traveled to Asia. You might say it was a graduation gift, or perhaps just a chance to visit the places where my parents had lived, but this trip with my Mom (and sometimes my Dad) was a fantastic experience. Not only did I cross a bunch of countries off my travel bucket list - Hong Kong (because we know Mainland China is an entirely different experience), Singapore, Brunei, Malaysia, and Thailand - I got to experience entirely different cultures, cuisines, and communities. I saw a lot. I learned a lot. And I gained so very much. It was a trip of a lifetime!

Climbed over 400 steps in Hong Kong!

Sunrise with Borneo monkeys in Brunei

Dipping my feet in the Indian Ocean in Penang, Malaysia

Touched history in Thailand

Explored the streets in Singapore

5. Moved to Sweden! Just one short week after I got back from Asia, I picked up my passport once more and moved to Sweden. Thankfully, having already pre-packed before my trip (hard) and wrapped up my life in Kingston (harder), I didn't have too much work to do. It was hardest to say goodbye to close ones, though, knowing I probably wouldn't see them for a while. (Fortunately, I found a great flight deal and got to visit my hometown over Jul break.)

Such a mess!

6. "Call me Ms. Jinnah." After settling in to my new home in Sundsvall in Mid-Sweden, I started teaching at the coolest school ever. Okay, so perhaps my vocabulary has been a little tainted by hanging out with pre-teens all day, every day. But seriously, IESS is a fantastic school and workplace, and a great fit for my first official teaching position. All jobs have their ups and downs but I have yet to regret my decision to move here, not even in just a little spark of a thought in the back of my mind at the end of a long, hard day.

Checking out my new school!

7. Turned my house into a home. Okay, so my apartment just outside downtown Sundsvall isn't really a house. Not even close. But with a little bit of TLC and a whole lot of cash, it has become a wonderful abode. And yes, I did a lot of shopping at IKEA. We're talking 3 trips before I had the basic furnishings for my new space.

Exploding Death Star! Coolest lamp ever!

8.  TRIPS!!! Since I've moved to Sundsvall, I've had the opportunity to travel to quite a few lovely places. From a quick cruise between Sweden and Finland to an emotional trip to Krakow, Poland, and a fantastic birthday trip to Athens and Santorini in Greece, moving to Europe truly has opened up many travel horizons. Plus, it's great for crossing places off the bucket list!

Pierogies in Poland

Baltic Sea cruise

Going back in time in Athens

Stormy Santorini

9. Found new friends. It didn't happen overnight, but I found a cool new group of friends to hang out with. It's been really fantastic to meet likeminded locals and expats who also enjoy doing geeky things and making terrible jokes. The parties are epic and the hugs are so very good for the soul.

Now that's a great hand of Munchkin!

10. "Home is where the Heart is." It's true what they say. I may not work as a teacher for the rest of my career, and I may not live in Sundsvall for the rest of my life, but I have found a place to call home, somewhere my heart can rest at the end of a long day. Life really is better when you have someone with whom to share the journey. And that's worth all the ups and downs that have come my way. As Rascal Flatts would sing, "God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you."

As we say in Sweden, "Skål!"

On long days, amazing results

You know the local job search radio commercial that ends with, "Long name, amazing results"? For some reason, when I think "long day," my brain automatically adds "amazing results."

But no one ever gets the joke. Probably because my brain works in mysterious ways.

The past few days have been quite long, as I've embarked on a new adventure: Teacher's College. While the rest of Queen's University's "first" years paint themselves in faculty colours and take part in team-building activities, the professional students in the Bachelor of Education program have already had 3 days of classes. Well... 2, if you don't count the orientation day, which I do, because it was full of amazing life and teaching lessons.

I am ridiculously excited to be back in school. I love learning and so far, all my classes have offered a wonderful balance of lessons and examples of lessons, as may be applied in our future classrooms. The only downfall is that the intensive 8-month program is full. And by full, I mean days with classes that start at 8:30am and end at 6pm, with just about an hour's break for lunch. And Friday is the tightest day in my schedule.

The thing is, your brain is operating at study wavelengths all day long, so while the take-home workload and required preparations are not nearly as demanding as during my Master's, balance is still ever so important to re-energize and regenerate.

Except I haven't finished my thesis yet. I came close, but I am still working on a second draft that needs more and different literature to be threaded throughout the body of work, not just in one chapter, or one paragraph. I also need to re-write the introduction, as I've decided to approach the context-creation segments from a different perspective so as to make my thesis more impactful.

As you may have guessed, it's not going to be an easy task. And yet, I come home every day after school, try to relax while I have dinner, and then jump right into Teacher's College assignments. And if I have any semblance of energy left, I try to further my thesis progress.

Needless to say... It's a slow process. Still, as we have learned, long days lead to amazing results. So I will forgo balance for the next few weeks, until I reach a more comfortable zone in my must-do list. And then... Then I will get to reap the rewards that I have sown and settle into a less hectic lifestyle and enjoy school once more.

On The Girls in the Front Row

I just met "The Girls in the Front Row". And I cried.

I recently moved back to Kingston (yey!) and was presented with an opportunity to consult with a local author on publicizing her book, which is approaching a second edition release date. Knowing nothing about the author or the book, I shrugged to myself, and thought, "Why not?" After all, I am always looking for interesting work opportunities, and my interests are so varied that they tend to find me instead! This was one of those chance situations.

The book is called "The Girls in the Front Row" and it was authored by Linda Gayle Ross. It's odd for me to say that she is the author of the book, since the words and the stories, save for one, are not hers. The project, the book itself, and the feelings it elucidates are most definitely hers. But the stories belong to the Girls in the Front Row.

Who are the Girls in the Front Row? They are motherless daughters; women who lost their mothers young, and had to learn to live without that customary bond, and the assumed guidance of the most important role model in a young girl's life. Some were children when their mom died, some were young adults who were just starting families of their own. Now, they are aged between 16 and 90, and they still feel the pain of losing the opportunity to get to know their mom, let along getting to share their own life experiences with her. Their mom never had a chance of becoming a best friend. The girls didn't have that person to share a big smile with from stage during Convocation. They didn't have that person to run to for comfort no matter what was happening in their "real" lives.

Their stories are varied and so are their experiences and their ability to survive and grow after such a traumatic launch into life as a grown-up. But one thing is clear... The Girls in the Front Row have all, in their own way, had to struggle with pain and fear, and insecurity, and, worst of all, lost hope. Because even though many people have estranged or tense relationships with their moms, there is always hope that things may get better.

For the Girls in the Front Row, there is no hope. There is often grief, guilt, anger, and relief, but not hope.

As I was reading, the tears started to flow. Softly, at first, but with every story, my heart trembled a little more. It wasn't truly out of grief or sadness, but because I wished that I could just reach out a hand to hold theirs, give them a hug in their times of need, past and present, and tell them that someone was there for them. Someone who may not fully understand what they are going through but who could support them while they figured it out.

And then I realized how many Girls in the Front Row I know, personally. Also, boys who lost their mothers young, but, that's a different type of bond. Boys, after all, will never need to call Mom at work to ask what kind of tampons to buy in that first menstrual cycle freak-out moment!

The Girls in the Front Row that I know are all courageous, strong, and successful women. They all admire their moms and miss them very much. They have all adopted behaviours or objects or hobbies that remind them of their mothers. But, you know what? As the book makes very obvious, I have never asked them what happened on the day they lost their Mom. How they felt in that moment. And as one Girl in the Front Row points out, that is sad.

So as I wiped the tears from my face and closed the beautiful, emotion-filled book, I decided that the next time I spoke with my Girls in the Front Row, when the moment was right, I would ask them what happened on the day their mom died. And then hug them as they re-live the trauma and let free the feelings that they usually bottle up and keep for company in their day-to-day lives.

To my Girls in the Front Row, thank you for being such an inspiration.

On working in #sportsbiz

The hardest thing about working in the sports industry is breaking in. There are a ton of blogs that tell that tale, so I will skip over that part of my experience. All you need to know is that I worked hard in multiple internships and contracts in the media industry, from newspapers to live sports broadcast production to earning my communications stripes through volunteer non-profit positions. The only internship I didn't do was one with a sports team, which would've been an asset, but as my other jobs put me in direct contact with team executives, I learned a fair bit about the inner workings of a sport organization through observation and interaction.

When I landed the Director of Media Relations position with the AHL's Hamilton Bulldogs, I was both surprised and relieved. I was surprised not because I wasn't confident about my skills, but because I had interviewed for several sport communications positions in the past few years and never gotten that call. This position was a more senior role than those I had previously applied for, and though I knew I had rocked the interview, I still was apprehensive at my chances. But my hard work and persistence paid off, and I was hired.

Whether it was a case of "right place, right time" or simply because it was my time does not matter. I got in. Finally.

That's when I discovered the second hardest thing about working in the sports industry. The chaos and fatigue of working long days (and nights). I had known that this was the reality in this type of work - and in all media work, actually - but living it in this scenario felt different. Plus, if you're a perfectionist like me, that also means a lot of sleepless nights worrying about how to get things better organized so that you can do the best job you are able to do.

Needless to say, when I was let go in June after a tough season jam-packed with major events and new promotions, I was shocked. I felt like I was still recovering from the past season, and well on my way to setting up the next season so that it would be far less chaotic. I was also hurt and confused. I felt like I had sacrificed so much to finally get my shot at rocking the sports media world and was cut short from doing truly awesome things with the team.

I later discovered that my dismissal was but one element of a major summer restructuring plan, and that I hadn't done anything "wrong". But as anyone who has been laid off can tell you, that doesn't make you feel any better.

My world was a mess. I didn't know what I was doing and where I was going. Eventually, I found out that the remaining executives still thought I was awesome and that my work was brilliant. My work ethic was exemplary, my ideas were awesome, and my strategies and execution were innovative and exceptional. That helped to lessen the blow. But I still felt like I had been stranded on a deserted island, with food and escape routes dangling just out of my reach.

I did what any smart young adult would do. I cut my losses - and my expenses - and went back into student mode. After all, I still had a Master's thesis to write. And as anyone who has worked full-time in sport communications can tell you, I didn't really have any spare time while I was with the Bulldogs. I therefore wasn't able to meet my lofty goal of finishing my thesis while I worked.

And now, I feel like I am back at square one, struggling to get a chance to prove my worth in the sports industry. No experience is ever wasted, to be sure, and holding a senior position in a professional sport organization, however brief that experience was, will certainly help me in my next endeavor. 

But frankly, I thought we'd done this already. I thought we were finally past this point. 

But in my passion and excitement, I had forgotten that the sports industry is volatile and so much of its stability depends on the attitudes of owners, commissioners, and yes, even fans. It is unfortunate that after all these years of pro sports development, its employees are still the ones with the most to lose, especially since having a well-rounded, experienced, passionate and dedicated team of staffers is key to ensuring a team's success in failing markets. After all, you can have the best players in the league, but if no one knows they're there, who's going to buy tickets? Ads? Merchandise?

It may be true that without athletes, there is no professional sports industry. But it takes a committed core group of employees to make it successful.

And so, it's a shame that breaking in to the sports industry remains the hardest thing about working in the sports industry, even for experienced professionals. Whether you've got one year under your belt or 20 years of experience in various positions and markets, this experience has taught me that you are never safe. 

But maybe this is the hardest thing about working in the sports industry. You never can never truly be comforted that your investment is safe and will yield high returns, or any returns at all. And that's why so many of us sail our boats away from the isolated island that is pro sports, searching for more stable waters. A long, fruitful career in the sports industry - in any industry these days, really - is no longer a given, once you've proven your worth. 

And I'm starting to wonder if perhaps it's time for me to sail away as well.

On moving forward

In case you haven't heard the news, the last month or so has been a whirlwind of change. My life has undergone a complete transformation. I went from a grad student looking for my way to the Director of Media Relations for the Hamilton Bulldogs.

Yeah. Crazy stuff!

So, naturally, I had to pack up all my stuff and move to Hamilton. In about a week and a half. Thankfully, I'd found an apartment just before my trip - yes, I knew way back then but had to keep the secret - and I had also started the process of purchasing a car at that time.

I spent the first week in this adorable retirement home that was basically across the street from Copps Coliseum, aka Work, aka My Second Home. Seriously, I spend lots of time at the rink. But I love it. I really do. I'd forgotten how much I loved reporting from a live game, and live tweeting a game, and most importantly, media planning. Plus, I got thrown right into the middle of things with a huge press conference about the 2012 AHL Outdoor Classic game taking place here in Hamilton on January 20-21st, 2012. SO very excited to be a part of this amazing, exceptional, historic, once-in-a-lifetime event.

But it hasn't been all coming up roses. I've had my share of negative experiences since moving to Steeltown - mainly involving cars. Hilarious (not) stories that I will some day shake my head at and laugh at when I tell them. It's been mostly positive, but as with all transitions, there are always bad moments and good moments. Like realizing I have noisy upstairs neighbours again, or that the work on my apartment wasn't completed before I move in.

But as I have learned, in the grand scheme of things, that's not important. What's important is the people that you surround yourself with and who make a difference in your life. And I have a fantastic network of family and friends. My Kingston friends have been incredibly supportive, and my newfound Hamilton friends are proving to be wonderful as well. Plus, I've had amazing feedback from all my non-local friends. It really does make you feel blessed.

Most importantly, the past month has put me in a whole new frame of mind. Some of the things that used to worry me are no longer at the top of my concerns list. And again, I've learned that I need to let go of things I cannot control.

So my goal for 2012? I resolve to bring only the positive with me into this new year, and leave all the toxic, negative thoughts and experiences behind. I'm excited!! :)

Happy New Year!

On making choices

I seem to be having an identity crisis these days. I hear it's quite common amongst others in my age group.

Many people have them upon reaching a major milestone or realizing a significant achievement. Some have one earlier in life, and others, much later. Some, like me, have them often. Apparently, it's a personality trait to be constantly searching for new, or bigger and better. Perhaps it is why my interests and ambitions are so varied... It keeps me feeling involved and evolved, growing yet dedicated to the task at hand.

Since the past few months have been so tumultuous for me, it's no wonder that finally submitting my thesis proposal would be a major source of relief. While everything else in my life is still a developing story, meeting my academic deadline is definitely good news. Yet, more than ever, I find myself wondering what's next. One bundle of stress has been replaced by a gazillion others.

Where does my future lie, I ask myself day in and day out. When waking up or trying really hard to fall asleep. When switching tabs and trying to get some work done. When doing the dishes or showering. When... Well, you get the point. It's a major source of worry for me.

As an overthinker and an overanalyzer, I've been picking out all my interests as they peak and asking myself if they're the path I want to follow. I love Kingtson dearly and have made many friends here, but let's face it, my career goals probably require a move. Then again, there's the possibility of staying in Kingston forever and ever, because I love it so.

I'll let you in on a not-so-secret... While I've been working on my Masters', I've also been applying to jobs that would fall under the "dream" category. Social media consultant positions in the sports industry, marketing, communications or social media director with pro sports organizations, even reporting at the London 2012 Olympic and Paralympic Games. Some applications have gone further than others - sometimes quite surprisingly! - but in the end, all roads have led to disappointment and doubt. Perhaps it's the "ongoing research" part of my CV or the tiny little fact that I can't legally work in the USA unless someone sponsors me. Or maybe I just suck at writing captivating cover letters for an HR audience - I do tend to aim them more towards Senior VPs. Or maybe, just maybe, I'm not good enough.

Because after all, that's the thought that always sparks identity crises, whether on the personal or professional front. "Maybe I'm not good enough."

And the worst part is, there's no way of truly getting an honest, accurate answer. People will rarely tell you to your face, and though rejection letters seem to be saying that you're not, we've all learned by now that sometimes, it's just because you weren't the right person at the right place at the right time who knows the right insider. Or at least, that's what they tell me. That and, "Don't give up!" or "Sometimes you have to take a step back to take a step forward," or any other similar supposedly encouraging clichés.

Let me be blunt. I am not a spoiled, stuck-up brat who thinks the world should be handed to me on a platter. But I've done my due diligence, and I'm tired of entry level positions that go nowhere. I know I can do the job, anyone who's ever worked with me knows I can do the job, heck! Even random network contacts on Twitter know I can do the job! And yet this road seems to lead nowhere. It's hard not to get discouraged. I will keep applying, but there's only so much disappointment and rejection one can take.

And so one must explore other avenues. Yes, I still crave work in the sports industry. I crave it like I do chocolate when I'm PMSing (or any time, really.) But the world doesn't stop spinning or wait for you to understand precisely what it is you need to get that little boost, gain that tiny little edge, and get you where you want and need to be to feel fulfilled professionally.

Other roads that seem to hold this promise include the previous mentioned "Stay in Kingston forever because I love it" scenario as well as the brand new and surprising (to me) "Pursue a PhD" option.

No, really! The girl who was afraid of completing a thesis is still here, but she is now freaking out about comps (comprehensive examinations), committing to a long-term research idea instead of a spontaneous one, quantitative courses like Statistics and Variables, and, more urgently, taking the GMAT or GRE standardized test. That's the big one. The barrier to entry, so to speak. At least from way over here, comps seem relatively benign in comparison to the big, looming, "better score high or forget about it" standardized test.

Yes, I'm aware there are courses and study guides and practice tests. Still. Fellow graduate students, when was the last time you took a closed book, closed environment exam? (Don't answer that, MBAs!) It's a scary scenario when it's been a while, and yet one I'm increasingly strongly considering. Or at least exploring. I've still got a thesis to write, after all, and I would really prefer a program that allowed me flexibility in my course plan so that I feel intellectually stimulated and challenged in all the right ways. And like I'm finally on track. So if you're aware of any excellent innovative Sports Management PhD programs in Canada or the USA, I'm all ears!

And then there's the Kingston plan. I've said it before (at least twice in this post alone!), I <3 Kingston. There's something about it that's charming and exciting. Perhaps the mix of old and new, the blend of city and country. Whatever it is, it repeatedly fills me with joy and childlike glee. Maybe I could build a life in Kingston, I think. Consult (social media), communicate (PR), start a business (CarShare Kingston). All three options are interesting and viable and have been suggested to me by other Kingston residents as well. But these feelings are eerily similar to ones I've felt before about the media industry and the sports industry, and we all know how that's working out.

If I were to choose Kingston, I think I would run for City Councillor in 2014, the next municipal elections. It would be interesting, challenging, stimulating, and it would make me feel like I'm accomplishing something important by representing my fellow residents at City Hall. It would also be a responsibility I would wholeheartedly enjoy and dedicate myself too.

These traits are also the ones friends and colleagues point out when I mention the possibility of doing a PhD. "You like research and you're good at it." It's true. I love digging, discovering, and sharing. I've often been told I would be a good teacher. I would like to think I'd be a better professor - I'd be teaching people who, for the most part, are in my classroom by choice. The only aspect of academia that I'm not 100% in tune with is the highly political process of funding applications and other higher education administrative games.

Maybe I'm an idealist, but I believe that most research has value, and that should be enough for funding agencies. I'm not sure where the money should come from, but I just don't like the thought of competing against my friends and colleagues every year, not just for money but for tenure. It gets to be damaging. Sure, I'm pretty competitive and I like to win. But I also like harmonious working environments and I feel like this process fosters quite the opposite in most departments.

In the end, I may choose a completely different path, perhaps one that hasn't even been revealed to me yet. Meanwhile, I'm struggling with the three roads in front of me. Doing nothing is not an option, though delaying a choice by defaulting to Kingston might be. At as now, there is no pressing urge to commit to a single road - except to stop the clock in my head from ticking annoyingly - and I will keep marching along on all three for as long as I can. But ultimately, a choice must be made, and as application deadlines creep increasingly closer, I must at least decide whether I will be deciding now or not.

Maybe I'm just impatient. Maybe I'm just letting various sources of stress gang up on me, overwhelming and confusing me. But this identity crisis is as real as any, and the planner in me wants to know now, so at least I can cross certain items of my to-do list, thereby reducing overall stress levels and allowing life to proceed at a totally tolerable, no longer terrible, operationally cautionary rhythm and rate.

As Douglas Adams would say, "DON'T PANIC!"

On Time

A whole month has gone by, it seems, and these days more than ever, I am aware of the passing of time. It's not just the minutes and seconds of every day that seem to expire too fast or too slow, it is the implications of those moments.

In the past month, I've seen so many different explorations of "time". Not enough time in a day. Too much time to do something. Having the time of your life. At this point in time. Time goes by. In time. On time. Long-time. Feels like the first time. Time-sensitive material. Timely answers. Bedtime. Timeless magic. Having time to kill. Time standing still. Things changing over time. Overtime. Taking the time. Perfectly timed comebacks. Keeping time. Love that will last for all time. Until the end of time. In the meantime. Timing. Time management. Time-tracking. Time and time again. Time out.

Time to change.

That's the kicker, ain't it? No matter how time seems to be moving around you, it always boils down to deciding whether or not to change (tasks, ways of thinking, position, feelings...).

In the past month, I've had some wonderful times and some stressful times. Emotional times too. I went to the Taylor Swift concert in Montreal with an amazing friend, and also got to spend time with my family. I went to my cousin's beautiful wedding weekend and got to meet, re-meet and simply enjoy the company of my extended family. I took the time to explore Kingston a little bit more, the hidden sights and the touristy ones, alone, with a local friend, and with a visiting long-time friend. And through it all, I had the time of my life.

In the past month, I have also wished that time could just stop for a bit so I could catch up, catch my breath, and catch on. My health symptoms seem to have stabilised for the most part... until I get sudden, painful reminders that we haven't discovered their source or cause yet. Tests have ruled out some of the more obvious answers so now we're left wondering and doing more tests. At least I'm not spending half my day in the washroom anymore, at least not every day. But not knowing what foods to avoid and what is "safe" is definitely a pain - I can't predict when I will feel sick so I've adopted the bad habit of delaying eating to avoid symptoms. Not cool.

One of the tests we did was an allergy test. I've always been allergic to all the common triggers - dust, mold, pets, pollen, ragweed - but I wanted to get re-tested to see if the combination of never-ending allergy shots as a child and puberty might have desensitized me to some of those allergens. I also wanted to find out if I really was allergic to asparagus, as we'd suspected since the age of 2, when I had my first asthma attack after having it as my "new food of the day". Sure enough, some of my pollen allergies had disappeared over time. And I was so allergic to asparagus that I now have a couple of Epipens and am getting a MedicAlert bracelet - at least they're prettier these days then when I was a child! Also, the allergist tested my breathing, which was apparently not under control. Asthma meds have been upped but at least now that the doctor has prescribed additional measures, I can't be lazy about it. Time to turn the negative into the positive!

In the past month, I've also had some stressful times, trying to figure out if Queen's University and the Faculty Association will come to an agreement in time and avoid a strike or lockout. We should know more in the coming days, when the "No Board" deadline is activated. In the meantime, job action measures are creating delays not only in services but in my ability to get work done. It's hard to feel confident about investing time into putting together a thesis proposal when you know that if you have a quick question, you're going to have to wait a long time for an answer - two weeks turnaround time, to be exact. So I've been procrastinating, which no doubt has led to more stress. Tack on the stress of my health issues, making ends meet financially, the discovery of mold (which I'm allergic to) in my apartment (but that my landlord will likely do nothing about) and Pharaoh Ants (which are the hardest to get rid of, though my traps have been quite effective so far) in my kitchen, and you've got a bundle of sleepy, sleepless, restless, nerves. (That's me!)

Over time, stress leads to anxiety and other hyper-emotional reactions, so everything seems to have a heightened impact. Which leads to more stress, of course, and a greater desire for a time out from life. But "in real life", there are no time outs. So it's time to change. Time to buckle up and get my ducks in a row. Yes, work/life balance is important. Yes, a healthy mind thrives in a healthy body. But since I can't seem to control the body part of that equation, I'm going to focus on the mind. I'm going to take the time I need to reset myself - in effect, taking a "real life" time out - by letting others help me manage my time. I'm going to crawl back to Mommy and Daddy and let them take care of me for a little bit of time, and I'm not afraid to say so or ashamed of it.

Because time doesn't stand still.

Time is going by so quickly and I need more time in my day to make sure I get my work done on time. And at this point in time, it's time that I acknowledge the passage of time and take advantage of the little time that I have left to take a young adult time-out before it's time for me to be giving them out. And then, you can be sure that I won't have time to kill.

All in good time!

On the Spoon Theory

As many of you know, I have been dealing with excessively draining and frustrating gastrointestinal issues for the past few months. It has been taxing on my school/work life, my personal life and put a dent in my normally very positive and upbeat personality. It's hard to keep your energy levels up when you're constantly puking or sitting on the toilet.

As if the constant fatigue and frustration at not understanding what's going on in your body isn't enough to deal with, there's also the stress. Stress related to being sick and not knowing why, the stress (on your mind, body, soul) of being sick all the time, the stress of the fear of eating because even "safe" foods don't always stay down, the stress of deadlines getting closer and closer and not being able to work on them, the stress of potentially letting people down, the stress of disappointing friends, families and colleagues when you do let them down because you haven't been able to meet the aforementioned deadlines, the stress of life continuing around you while you're stuck in the same spot day after day, the stress of pushing people away with your continual rants at being sick, tired, frustrated, etc., the stress of being stressed and knowing that stress is just making everything worse...

There's a lot of stress involved. And despite being tired and feeling sick, you try to make it work. You try to meet those deadlines and hang out with friends without being a downer. You try not to feel bummed or like a bum all the time. You try to catch up on sleep to try to counter the fatigue but the pain, nausea, and sickness (and fear of being so sick that you need help but having no one around to help you and not being able to call for anyone before it's too late)... all this stress prevents you from recovering. At least if you could sleep well, you'd feel better, right? So far, catching up on sleep has not made much of a difference. It gives me productive half days where I can ignore the fear of impending sickness but once all my symptoms hit by mid-afternoon, I feel just as tired as if I hadn't slept at all the night before.

It's taxing. It's frustrating. But it's hard to explain to others how draining it is to be sick every day without sounding like a wimp or a whiner.

Last night, one of my Twitter friends introduced me to The Spoon Theory. Having dealt with her share of taxing chronic illness, she thought Spoon Theory might help me cope with the difficulty of understanding and explaining what was going on. She was right.

The Spoon Theory was developed by Christine Miserandino when her closest friend, who had been with her through a variety of Lupus-related situations outside the normal day-to-day activities of normal young adults, asked her what it felt like to be sick. Thinking her friend was asking about the medical definition of having Lupus, Christine confusedly went through the symptoms and health repercussions. When her friend specified that she was seeking to understand the embodied experience of chronic illness, Spoon Theory was born.

Here's a 3-paragraph extract from Christine's amazing Spoon Theory article:

At that moment, the spoon theory was born. I quickly grabbed every spoon on the table; hell I grabbed spoons off of the other tables. I looked at her in the eyes and said “Here you go, you have Lupus”. She looked at me slightly confused, as anyone would when they are being handed a bouquet of spoons. The cold metal spoons clanked in my hands, as I grouped them together and shoved them into her hands.

I explained that the difference in being sick and being healthy is having to make choices or to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesn’t have to. The healthy have the luxury of a life without choices, a gift most people take for granted.

Most people start the day with unlimited amount of possibilities, and energy to do whatever they desire, especially young people. For the most part, they do not need to worry about the effects of their actions. So for my explanation, I used spoons to convey this point. I wanted something for her to actually hold, for me to then take away, since most people who get sick feel a “loss” of a life they once knew. If I was in control of taking away the spoons, then she would know what it feels like to have someone or something else, in this case Lupus, being in control.

She grabbed the spoons with excitement. She didn’t understand what I was doing, but she is always up for a good time, so I guess she thought I was cracking a joke of some kind like I usually do when talking about touchy topics. Little did she know how serious I would become?

I highly suggest that you click through and read the whole article. It's a quick but well-packed piece that does the best job at accurately representing what it feels like, day-to-day, to have a chronic illness or chronic pain or even a mental health issue such as depression.

Reading about Spoon Theory late last night helped me relax. It filled me with hope for a resolution, which is what I should've been feeling after a very positive appointment with a new doctor who actually listened to me and believed what I was saying about the changes in my body and ordered a whole bunch of diagnostic tests. But getting sick that evening had once again put a damper on things. The spoons I'd gained had been lost, so to speak.

But Spoon Theory has helped me accept that this might be a reality for me. It also helped me see that it might not. Either way, Spoon Theory helped me remember something very very important: I have more spoons than most people, and for that, I am very thankful.

I have an excellent support system, friends that aren't tuning me out when I rant (again!) about feeling sick and tired and frustrated but instead are concerned about me. I hope that by sharing The Spoon Theory with them, they will better be able to understand why I feel panicked about not being able to meet my deadlines and can't always accept their very generous home-cooked dinner invitations even though I really really want to. I love you just for offering and I don't like turning you down but sometimes, the best thing I can do for me is to save a spoon so I fall asleep with little to no pain or drama.

Hopefully, all of this will be resolved soon. I know I'll feel a whole lot better when I finally know what I have. Then, I can start to count my daily spoons and deal with it.

On #NASSM2011 (and more!)

This past week, I went to my first ever North American Society for Sport Management Conference. I also gave my first ever national/international academic presentation. It was the first time I stayed in a college dorm. And it was my first trip to London, ON.

What a week it was! I met many new people, made new friends and new contacts and learned a lot of new things about all kinds of new topics. I stressed over my presentation and cut, cut, cut it down to a quick, 17-minute talk... only 2 minutes over the recommended 15-minute "presentation" portion of the 20-minute time slot. My roommate and I had a blast in the not-so-stellar dorms at the University of Western Ontario, and one of my new friends' intense Vancouver Canucks fandom made for awesome game-watching experiences.

Apart from that? It was nice to know that NASSM 2011 was the end of my huge end-of-term academic rush. Now, I get to focus on writing my thesis proposal and three papers I've been asked to contribute to as part of my Research Assistanceship work for two different profs. I'm looking forward to more work/life balance (read "fun") and I can't wait to soak up the sun.

In other life news, I am most definitely lactose intolerant, and it's much more serious than I thought it was as even drinking "lactose-free" milk really does a number on my GI system. So I'm taking lactase pills with just about every meal (including my morning cereal) and will be switching to Almond Milk if I can deal with the sweetness levels of the unsweetened variety. There's also some other stuff going on there, so hopefully this week's doctor's appointment will help sort it all out. It's looking like pills for life though, which sucks.

On a more positive note, I am now officially one of the organizers of Limestone New Media Group in Kingston, ON. This comes after giving a presentation on Social Media and Non-Profits during the March meeting and being a guest co-host on the second ever LNMG podcast to discuss my Facebook situation and the implications of those kinds of actions. I'm looking forward to the June meetup and mingling with even more new-to-me Kingston locals!

Finally, I should probably mention that at the NASSM 2011 Student Luncheon, I was voted in as one of three student board members! This means that I will get to organize at least one initiative for NASSM 2012 in Seattle next May. Exciting!! I also hope that I'll be able to increase the amount of communications between students in and with the NASSM community, as well as improve year-long mentoring opportunities. I guess between this and my RA position as NASSS 2011 Advertising & Exhibits Manager, I've got my work cut out for me!

So... Who wants to go to a movie?

On going dairy-free

In the most recent development of my ongoing stomach issues saga, my doctor friend has asked me to go dairy-free for two weeks. This was after my actual doctor, either because she wasn't happy that I was discussing my health issues with my doctor friends or because she was simply unaware, told me there was no such thing as a lactose intolerance test.

You see, my doctor friend wondered if my stomach issues could be more than H.Pylori (it wasn't) or GERD (this is probably part of it). Our current "favourites" are Irritable Bowel Syndrome, something deeper, darker, and scarier and rarer that has yet to be mentioned, or lactose intolerance. To recap, not only will I probably have to take Proton-Pump Inhibitors for the rest of my life, based on the treatment's semi-effectiveness one month in, but I probably will have to make another change in my day-to-day routine.

So we go dairy-free. It's the hard way of figuring out if I'm actually lactose intolerant or simply lactose sensitive, as I've been terming it. I haven't been able to drink straight-up cow's milk for at least 3 years, and the creamier a food, the more trouble it gives me. This means ice cream is often a pain in my gut, and I avoid alfredo sauce, creamy desserts, and more. (Yes, I know about soy and almond milk products. I can't handle the texture - it makes me feel like puking.)

One would think that since I'm already on "lactose-free" milk, removing dairy from my diet wouldn't be such a big deal. I just have to manage my cheese and chocolate cravings for 14 days and forget butter exists. Easy peasy!

NOT.

Did you know that most prepared meats, breads/baked goods, snacks, salad dressings and canned foods have some sort of milk additive? Look up the ingredients. If you see casein, whey, dry milk powder, prebiotics, high protein, or any other variations on the list, that product is not dairy-safe. Even prescription pills use milk products as filler! My morning cereal has whey in it so I can't even have that stable staple to look forward to!

No potato chips, no crackers except for melba toast, no seasonings except for oil and herbs.

Basically, my diet for the next two weeks will consist of "fresh" meats and fish, veggies, and pasta. I'm not risking any canned foods in case they're not listing possible milk cross-contamination, since there are no milk allergy or "lactose-free" guidelines in Canada. Fortunately, my regular bread is safe, as are peanut butter and most jams/jellies/honey.

I spent half my day today looking up safe and unsafe foods, finding appropriate recipes, and reading the ingredients on pretty much everything in my fridge and pantry. Tomorrow, I'm going to pick up some dairy-free cheese and finally attempt to make my own tofu. I'm also going to search for dairy-free chocolate (cocoa is dairy-free but most commercial brands add lactose or milk powder to their products and even dark chocolate could be contaminated from being produced on the same line as milk chocolate.)

I'm just really glad this is a two-week try-out. And that I'm not allergic to milk because I'd probably be dead by now if I were... Between my love for goat cheese and my addiction to chocolate, I put up with a fair amount of discomfort to satisfy my cravings.

That's going to be the hard part. That and remembering to read the ingredients in everything, including sauces used for marinades. If I weren't focusing on finishing a paper (and then 2 group papers and a conference presentation), I wouldn't mind the extra time commitment that this diet demands. If I wasn't a mono-dweller, I'd also find it easier to manage. But cooking for one or two requires a whole lot of portion planning and, as I've re-discovered this past week, a lot of my fresh ingredients tend to go to waste simply because can't use them up fast enough. I try to limit my shopping trips since I don't have a car but I was considering not buying fresh until I had more time to plan my meals. Throwing away rotten ingredients is not something I'm proud of, especially when so many people around the world are literally dying for a bit of that food. Plus, it's expensive.

Needless to say, the next two days will be a roller-coaster. So far, the craziest thing I've done is squirted Nesquik into my mouth to try to squash a particularly poignant unrelenting chocolate craving. Since I don't drink tea or coffee, chocolate is my main source of caffeine, not to mention its excellent comforting capacities. I guess I'll be making a lot more herbal tea in the next 14 days! Only time will tell if these sacrifices were worth it!

And then, regardless of results, I have to find a way to break it to my doctor. Wish me luck!

On spreading hope

Every year, I write a few blog posts about fundraising for the World Partnership Walk. I mention that it's Canada's largest annual event to raise funds and awareness to fight global poverty, and that the Walk is almost entirely organized by volunteers in 10 cities across Canada. And I'm always sure to include my favourite statistic - 100% of the funds raised go directly to fund long-term sustainable international development initiatives that help people help themselves.

Run by Aga Khan Foundation Canada through Aga Khan Development Network, a non-denominational, not-for-profit international agency, the projects promote cross-cutting social development to help improve the quality of life of some of the poorest people in the world by empowering them to identify and implement their own solutions. The programmes focus on health, education, rural development, and building the capacity of local communities and civil societies. They also always take into account gender equity and environmental concerns.

What does this mean? It means that villagers are provided with the human and material resources they need to get started on bettering their own lives, whatever that means to them. They take social and emotional ownership of the projects, and their investment on these levels means that they're truly committed to making it work. Even better? These projects spread hope not only in that village but in neighbouring villages as well, since the education and experience is easily transferred to others in similar contexts.

Plus, support garnered through the World Partnership Walk helps AKFC leverage the funds we raise. In fact, the Canadian International Development Agency matches funds raised for these projects, from 1 to 9 times. Last year, the average matching factor was of 4, which means that the $2,000 you helped me raised actually became $8,000. In a time where money is increasingly tight, this means a lot. Not just to me, but to the communities we're helping on the other side of the world. To the elders, parents, and children whose faces I personally saw filled with hope when I visited some of AKFC's projects in Kenya in 2009.

So where does that leave us? As our income is increasingly not earning us as much as it used to, it would be understandable for us to keep our money close and wallets closed. Food prices are hitting record highs across the world and Canadians won't be immune to the hikes. And that's not the only thing costing us more! If you pay energy bills, you probably noticed that your power and utilities costs have gone up too - look for increases of 3.5% per year over the next 20 years in Ontario. That's 7.9% per year in the next five years alone.

No matter how little you consume, that hurts. Every single one of us is undeniably feeling the pinch.

So just imagine how deeply despairing this pinch would be if you lived in the developing world. That's not to say that there aren't locals who are in situations that seem just as desperate. But when you can't even depend on existing infrastructure, socialist government programmes, or even the relative stability of your immediate environment, how are you supposed to get started on changing your life situation? There are no resources for you to access, in many cases, or if there are, you're probably physically unable to access them or blocked by corrupt practices. Rising costs affect us all, but at least we North Americans have the means to change our way of life to reduce their impact.

I don't like feeling like my situation is hopeless. I don't think anyone does. So please, help me raise funds for the 2011 World Partnership Walk so we can spread hope. Remember, we're all living on the same planet. Events taking place across the globe affect us more than we know, as the current food crisis shows. By sparking change at home, we can help enable change that matters in developing countries too. Together, I truly believe that we can put an end to world poverty, but it'll take time and we need to commit to change now.

You can help change the world by sponsoring me for the Walk here:
http://www.akfcnetcommunity.ca/netcommunity/NailaJ.

You can also register to raise funds here, or join the Kingston Hope-raisers team and start giving back to the global community.

And join me on Sunday, June 12, 2011 at Major's Hill Park in Ottawa for the 27th annual World Partnership Walk.

PS: You can now find the Ottawa World Partnership Walk on Twitter: @WPWOttawa. Make sure to tag all your 2011 Walk tweets with #wpw27. "Like" the World Partnership Walk Ottawa fan page on Facebook and don't forget to RSVP on the event page. Hope to see you there!

On marketing yourself

Perhaps it's because of my upbringing and personal values, but I've always found it hard to market myself. Most of the time, I can't even accept compliments. This built-in humility isn't really the best personality trait for someone attempting to build their personal brand.

Like many other marketers, I just can't seem to transfer my professional skills to my personal life, in this sense. Selling myself, and learning to accept that it's a necessary strategy for someone searching to build a career in online media, marketing and branding has been a rough road. Still, I'm making small strides. This blog is one of them. Better managing my Twitter account is another. And I've recently started re-organizing my professional profiles, from private professional networks to updating my LinkedIn profile to creating this cute little Bit.ly bundle that combines all my major online presences on one page.

And today, I will be taking the last step on my to-do list: completely revamping my CV.

It's a task that's making me feel apprehensive because I'm nervous about settling on one path for my future. I know that several people have more than one CV or CV type to reflect their different career goals, but I've never been the kind of person to fragment my personality. When you talk to me, you get it all, not just pieces. Yes, we all filter our conversations based on whom we're conversing with, but I don't hide a part of myself like a secret that cannot be revealed. If it comes up, I'm usually pretty open with discussing pretty much anything. This is probably why I'm having a hard time attempting to split my personality on paper.

More importantly, it's quite nerve-racking to settle on one career goal when I have so many interests and avenues left to explore. Do I move away from TV and commit to PR/Media Relations? Do I focus on communications at a corporate level? What of my interest in social media managing and online marketing strategies? Even sticking to sports as my field of choice is a bit of a struggle since I am very much interested in not-for-profit organisations, military and defence systems, and government work in general. So how do I reconcile all these interests? I'm pretty sure I don't have a choice but to filter my presentation of myself and my skills in order to best benefit myself. To borrow from Foucault, I should use technologies of the self to better myself and maximise my future life opportunities.

And speaking of Foucault, I finally created a SlideShare account in order to most effectively share my work without clogging the blog. So for those who were interested in reading my paper on Foucauldian interpretations of the changing power relations in the NHL when its athletes take to Twitter, the wait is over! Without further ado, I am proud to present... *drum roll* "Rinkside Tweeting" available in its entirety online for optimal sharing (and branding!).

Because, as someone whose future lies in creative outlets, I (now) understand the importance of sharing my work with others. It's not about compliments, though constructive feedback is always appreciated. Like digital branding guru Mitch Joel, I am an introvert. So for me, it's about building my personal and professional confidence while sharing the knowledge I have acquired. It's about making a contribution to the world and knowing that I've done all I can to help others open their minds to new worldviews and ideas.

And who knows? Maybe that's what my CV should reflect. My desire to contribute to the world, no matter which professional path I choose to follow. It'll still require some trimming and fine-tuning, but by focusing on my skills and contributions rather than job titles, perhaps I can discover a new path to a fully fulfilling future. Only time will tell!

Stay tuned...

On writing

So far, the New Year has been full of school work and writing. The paper I was working on for my class last semester went from having a personal deadline of Christmas to January 5th to "before classes start" to finally being finished late last week. Needless to say, with all the work assigned for my classes this semester, I've been more than a little overloaded!

I'm proud to say that my paper just needs a quick edit/revision before I can submit it by email. Plus, I presented it yesterday at Queen's University's 9th annual Macintosh Conference and it got really great feedback. Of course, trimming and turning 28 double-spaced pages of Foucauldian interpretations of the changing power relations in the NHL once players tweet into a 20-minute power point presentation that still covers most of the complex information is a hard feat. It's why the past few weeks have been full of 4am bedtimes and 8:30am wakeup calls. In other words, I've been super tired, super overworked and super brain hurt stressed.

The good news is I've been building in sports, entertainment and BALANCE into my schedule. Instead of sitting around on the couch at home for a few hours waiting for my procrastination to fade and inspiration to strike, I'm being active and sometimes even proactive and going to yoga or aquafit or a play, and working in a coffee shop or pub instead. Surprisingly, this low-pressure approach is actually working out quite well, possibly because the time remaining to get my work done is shorter. In other words, the productivity I gain from impending deadlines is enhanced. Meanwhile, my body feels great, my heart and soul feel fulfilled and life is beautiful! Even my wacky sleep patterns haven't left me feeling too tired. The last time I slept 4 hours, I felt great going to bed late and pretty good waking up too!

All in all, it's a win-win situation. I am glad, however, that this paper is done so my life can get back into a respectable routine, one where work and play and chores are balanced, instead of waiting until I run out of utensils to do the dishes and sleep 4 hours a night so I can get through all my homework.

And speaking of homework, back to class readings I go!

Stay tuned...

On the spirit of the season

Christmas time and the winter holidays are often said to be full of seasonal glee and spirit. The spirit of giving, that is. Between buying and receiving presents, making charitable donations, and spreading Christmas cheer, we're all supposed to feel merry and bright. But has the spirit of the season become yet another consumerist trend?

A few days ago, I saw someone post on Twitter that in the spirit of the season, he/she had picked up some trash on the street. Maybe it's just me, but I think a responsible citizen who cares about his or her neighbourhood should beautify it all the time. I also think he or she shouldn't pollute it in the first place, but that's another story entirely.

That's my issue with Christmas spirit. Shouldn't we be nice every day? Shouldn't we give generously to less fortunate people all year 'round? And quite honestly, shouldn't we not give presents out of obligation but rather out of love? Just because it's that time of the year, and especially if the recipient doesn't need or want anything in particular, why go crazy running around in malls? It seems even more ridiculous when the effort of finding the right present and the act of giving it with all the best intentions is not appreciated by the recipient. Why bother? Isn't giving all about seeing the warm glow of appreciation, excitement and thankfulness on that person's face when they discover the nature of the present?

When I am a parent, I will make sure that my children understand the values of being thankful and appreciative, of giving to people in need, and that the accumulation of things isn't the key to being happy and successful. On special occasions, my children will receive several presents, all for things they need or want and that are reasonably priced and appropriate for their age. Then, they will have to choose one of their new presents and personally donate it to someone who needs it more than they do, whether it's a friend who can't afford that gift or someone less fortunate than them whom they may not know personally, but who will greatly benefit from their new gift. Humility needs to be taught.

It is perhaps the value which we have abandoned the most in today's society. Charitable donations are down, both in amount and number, and people are increasingly selfish. They think they are in need, but in reality, most of them are just in want. While we lament about our first world problems, there are people less than a 30-minute drive away who are starving, who truly can't afford to live. They're striving to simply survive. And I don't mean that they can't afford to pay rent because they go out to dinner twice a week. I mean that they live paycheck-to-paycheck and do groceries at the Dollar Store. These are people we cross in the street every day and barely notice as different. Some of these people might work with you or serve you coffee every morning. Do you think they only deserve cheer at Christmas time? Do you, for that matter?

Love, compassion and sharing shouldn't be restricted to certain periods of the year. It should be ingrained in our personalities. It should be in our nature. After all, it's only human to care. So this year, my Christmas wish is that we spread holiday spirit all throughout the year. Making someone happy is possibly the best present you can ever give, wouldn't you say?

On taking the time to go out

Most college students don't have issues taking the time to go out and have fun. It's right there at the top of their to-do list, between finding money for rent and trying not to fail out of school.

For me, it's not so easy. Those who know me well know that I'm a 40-year old trapped in a young adult's body. In other words, I'm a serious one. I focus on school work and work work and procrastinating against house work. To be fair, I'm also pretty lazy about actually leaving the house - especially if it involves walking in the cold or at night. Plus, although I'm a late sleeper and riser, I'm very much a homebody. I may not go to bed for 4 hours, but ideally, I like being home by 10 PM. Told you I was an old soul!

All of this to say that I haven't really been taking the time to socialise and enjoy Kingston. Ironically, I think I've seen less of my favourite spots in Kingston since I moved here than in the (total of) 3 weeks or so that I'd previously visited the city. It's sad, I know.

Part of this was getting used to a new environment and remembering all my academic studying tips. Part of it is also my cautiousness when it comes to making friends. I may appear to be an extrovert, but truly, deep down, I'm very much an introvert! And as my friend Mehnaz said so well in this post, introverts tend to be slightly invisible due to their choices. That's certainly how I've been feeling in relation to the other people in my Grad programme, though by no fault of their own! I'm just not a partygoer, and I don't spend a lot of time at school because I work better from home. Understandably, I haven't formed strong bonds with most anybody.

Last week, something changed in me. Maybe it's because I felt more at ease with my workload and the material we've been covering in class. Maybe it's because it's the end of the semester and I just needed to get out. Either way, I decided to jump feet first into socialising and attend Kingston's annual Nighttime Santa Claus Parade. There would be no excuses, even if it was going to be dark and the forecast read COLD! And boy, did I have fun! Parades are always great because you can really get into the celebration as each float goes by, and seeing the excitement in the eyes of the little kids attending really enhances the experience for me. Plus, this one was filled with Christmas cheer and pretty lights - two of my favourites, especially at this time of the year!

I had a wonderful time. To top it all off, a friend and I finally dined at The Tango Restaurant, which I've been dying to return to ever since I checked out their online menu - and their new cocktail list. The whole night sparkled with winter magic and the late walk home was refreshing and invigorating.

Last night, I continued the trend of actually enjoying myself in my town and went out with some of the girls from our programme following our bi-weekly Grad Seminar. Once again, I had a great time, full of stimulating conversation that wasn't argumentative, and laughter! This casual hanging-out made me realise the importance of spending time with others to build bonds. Facebook and school work is nice and all, but they don't spawn friendships. And how else am I going to break out of my introvert shell? My walk home was full of inner smiles and feelings of "I should do this more often."

This time, hopefully, I'll stick to that thought.

PS: Happy Thanksgiving to all my US friends!

On life as a grad student

So far, life as a grad student has been pretty good. I've gotten into a home routine that's been keeping my tummy full and my apartment pretty clean, and I'm finally over a series of sickness: allergies, ear infection, cold. It was a pretty depressing time, but at least it allowed me to get used to my environment and understand the resources I have at my disposal... Like which TV channels I get!

In terms of school itself, there's been a lot more reading than I expected. Of course, I did expect a fair amount of work, but for some reason, I thought it might be a bit more assignment-based, kind of like in undergrad programmes. The reading isn't too bad, mostly because the texts are new to me and interesting. Well, most of them. Every week, there's at least one super long, boring, overly-jargoned, hard-to-read text. And by super long, I mean at least 26 pages of photocopied left and right book pages.

Thankfully, I think I've nailed down a reading technique that works for me. First off, I work best on my couch, at home. Not at my desk or in a coffee shop, but on the couch. Go figure!! Working at the office at school is also okay, but only when I need a change of scenery. It doesn't work well on a regular basis, not because it's too loud, but because it's too quiet!

Also, I've discovered that reading off a .pdf works best, unless I'm reading directly from a book. With the .pdf, I can highlight and mark up the text without ruining it, and it's easy to refer to it later on, during class. For the class in which I have to read books, I've been using different-coloured sticky markers to save pages with important discourses on the various topics I'm tracking, and that seems to be working fairly well too. At the end of the book, reading or chapter, if it's an essay collection, I always try to write a few notes on my impressions, questions and the important lines of thinking in the text.

Overall, I think I'm doing a pretty good job at staying on top of things. My next objective is to start incorporating more physical activity in my routine, once my (new) physio clears me for some more active movements. Unfortunately, my plan to bike around town hasn't worked out so well, mostly because the main streets I need to take are pretty bumpy and therefore jarring for my knee, which then causes pain. Still, I'm hoping that I'll be able to build up my strength again so that maybe, by the winter, I'll be able to take part in some cool snow sports again.

And on that note... Time to get back to award applications and readings!

On Unexpected Expenses

My wallet sure is getting a workout this summer, what with health-related expenses, moving expenses, and just regular day-to-day and maintenance expenses.

Thankfully, I think I've purchased all the stuff on my "NEED" list for my move by now. Those were all more or less within the budget, although it's amazing how expensive things like kettles, placemats and cooking utensils can be. I mean, it's really nothing amazing! Just shaped metal or plastic, or stitched fabric. Sometimes, I miss the good old days of asking your neighbours to craft you what you needed in exchange for your professional services. "Le troc", as we learned in elementary school, totally needs to make a comeback.

A few weeks ago, I had my regularly scheduled dental cleaning - and we had to get a little preventative work done. Ka-ching! Add to that the cost of all my recent physiotherapy appointments, and we've got ka-ching! ka-ching! ka-ching!

In other unexpected expenses, there's the moving truck rental. I'm not talking giant corporate truck with professional movers. I'm talking Ryder, Budget, or U-Haul. In my case, we're going with U-Haul due to availability and convenience, but all those prices rang up to approximately $300. Insane!! I did not plan on such an "expensive" move, though having moved before, I really should have remembered the cost. Ka-ching!

I also had to purchase a new cellphone. The Pearl on my first-generation Blackberry Pearl stopped scrolling up Saturday, and since this has happened before (though in other directions), I knew that a quick Q-tip scrub could clean it up and get it scrolling again in no time. Unfortunately, I was away from home (and Q-tips!) all day. By Sunday, after a few scrubbing attempts, I decided to stop in to the Telus store. They popped-up the pearl and tried to clean it rather than making me purchase a new one ($7... not sure if that's a good deal or not!) but the pearl stopped working altogether. It could now scroll in most directions but wasn't clicking. Or was automatically clicking. Either way, it wasn't going to work for me! Luckily, my Telus contract was expiring in less than 2 weeks so I had a few offers on my account, so I sprung for... the Blackberry Bold with 3G. That's right! I finally made up my mind between iPhone and BB and stuck with the crackberry. What can I say? I'm addicted! The phone wasn't entirely free, though, so ring up another "ka-ching!" there.

And on Monday, I will be going in for a much needed, finally prescribed MRI for my knee. I've got a pretty good insurance plan - thank you, Concordia! - so by getting it done at a particular clinic in Montreal, I can ensure that up to $300 of the cost will be covered (minus previous claim payouts). That means I've still got another $354 + taxes to cover. And this, folks, is why paying your insurance premium every month is worth it. Still... Ka-ching!

For those of you keeping track, that's a whole lot of "ka-ching"s, and I've got a few more move-associated ones to ring up: pantry stocking, cleaning supplies, school fees... So, I'm pretty close to being broke - because I refused to dig in to my savings (for now). At least I know I've got a few paychecks coming in!

How do you deal with unexpected expenses? Do you have a "just in case" fund? Insurance? Rich parents and/or friends who don't mind paying for your night on the town?

Share your secrets, folks! And stay tuned for more move- and knee-related updates!

On the 2010 World Partnership Walk in Montreal

When the 2010 campaign of the World Partnership Walk launched in February, I was asked to talk about "Why I Walk". And I, who is usually full of motivating marketing messaging, struggled. After a tumultuous year full of a variety of experiences relating to the not-for-profit sector and international development, I was at a loss for words. I didn't even know where to begin, how to start thinking about the question, though I did have an answer last year.

Fundraisers for international development NGOs typically focus on stories and images of death and despair.

"Help now, or else," is the message they spread.

"These children will die without your support," they say.

And then there's the spectrum of messaging associated with emergency response aid. Not to say that these statements aren't valid, but with so much negativity in the air, I found it hard to focus on why I persist in supporting not-for-profit initiatives. "What's the point?" I asked myself.

In the summer of 2009, I participated in an Aga Khan Foundation Canada Awareness Trip to Africa. In 5 quick days, I visited a variety of international development projects sponsored by Aga Khan Development Network, from the Frigoken factory and the Nation Media Group in Nairobi, Kenya, to the Coastal Rural Support Programme (CRSP) and Kenya School Improvement Programme (KENSIP) in Mombasa, Kenya.

This whirlwind tour left me with a few key impressions. Surprisingly, I didn't encounter a world full of desolation and desperation, as most of the advertisement would like us to believe. I met real people with real goals and real aspirations for their children, just like us. I met children who, like me, were excited to go to school and learn. I saw a vibrant city that moved at the same pace as New York City or Montreal. And I saw farmers and hospitality workers who were not just struggling to get by but trying to make a life for themselves, no matter the gravity of their situation.

The World Partnership Walk raises funds to help improve the lives and livelihoods of families and communities like those I visited in East Africa, through health, education and rural development programs as well as community-led initiatives. During my trip, I was fortunate enough to see the fruits of our labours, the benefits of this grassroots approach. By enabling local populations to decide what they need the most and then empowering them to find the proper long-term, sustainable solutions, we are investing in their future.

100% of the funds raised through the Walk go directly to these programmes, and in some cases, the Canadian International Development Agency (CIDA) offers additional support. Not one cent is spent on administration.

Let's overcome the negativity and look to the future with compassion, hope, and only positive thoughts. Let's unite in the noble intention of helping to alleviate global poverty. As Canadians, we all come from somewhere else, sometime in the past. Someone invested in us and allowed us to flourish in this country, both personally and professionally. It is time for us to give back to society at large and help make the world a better place by investing in someone who, like us, simply wants the best for his or her community.

Join me for the World Partnership Walk on June 6, 2010 at Place des Vestiges in the Quays of the Old Port of Montreal or donate online. Together, we can spark a beacon of hope and show the world what it truly means to be Canadian. Together, we can discover why we walk.