On long days, amazing results

You know the local job search radio commercial that ends with, "Long name, amazing results"? For some reason, when I think "long day," my brain automatically adds "amazing results."

But no one ever gets the joke. Probably because my brain works in mysterious ways.

The past few days have been quite long, as I've embarked on a new adventure: Teacher's College. While the rest of Queen's University's "first" years paint themselves in faculty colours and take part in team-building activities, the professional students in the Bachelor of Education program have already had 3 days of classes. Well... 2, if you don't count the orientation day, which I do, because it was full of amazing life and teaching lessons.

I am ridiculously excited to be back in school. I love learning and so far, all my classes have offered a wonderful balance of lessons and examples of lessons, as may be applied in our future classrooms. The only downfall is that the intensive 8-month program is full. And by full, I mean days with classes that start at 8:30am and end at 6pm, with just about an hour's break for lunch. And Friday is the tightest day in my schedule.

The thing is, your brain is operating at study wavelengths all day long, so while the take-home workload and required preparations are not nearly as demanding as during my Master's, balance is still ever so important to re-energize and regenerate.

Except I haven't finished my thesis yet. I came close, but I am still working on a second draft that needs more and different literature to be threaded throughout the body of work, not just in one chapter, or one paragraph. I also need to re-write the introduction, as I've decided to approach the context-creation segments from a different perspective so as to make my thesis more impactful.

As you may have guessed, it's not going to be an easy task. And yet, I come home every day after school, try to relax while I have dinner, and then jump right into Teacher's College assignments. And if I have any semblance of energy left, I try to further my thesis progress.

Needless to say... It's a slow process. Still, as we have learned, long days lead to amazing results. So I will forgo balance for the next few weeks, until I reach a more comfortable zone in my must-do list. And then... Then I will get to reap the rewards that I have sown and settle into a less hectic lifestyle and enjoy school once more.

On vague reflections

Sometimes, the answer is not where you expect to find it. It's not what you've been building up to or what you've worked so hard to accomplish.

Sometimes, finding the answer means going back to the beginning, to your origin story, to see where you belong.

Sometimes, the answer is right in front of you and has been all along. You just couldn't see it because you didn't know you could, or even that it existed.

Sometimes, the answer is something you didn't ever think possible, so you abandoned it long ago. But when the universe opens up that opportunity to you once more, you cannot ignore it.

Sometimes, the answer is doing what you always wanted to do but never thought you could, though you always knew you could, and that you would be good at it, if you could.

I think I have found my answer. And though it will be scary and hard to let go of everything I have become, I don't see how I can live with myself if I don't try.

Because if I succeed, I think I can truly have it all.

Fingers crossed!

On making choices

I seem to be having an identity crisis these days. I hear it's quite common amongst others in my age group.

Many people have them upon reaching a major milestone or realizing a significant achievement. Some have one earlier in life, and others, much later. Some, like me, have them often. Apparently, it's a personality trait to be constantly searching for new, or bigger and better. Perhaps it is why my interests and ambitions are so varied... It keeps me feeling involved and evolved, growing yet dedicated to the task at hand.

Since the past few months have been so tumultuous for me, it's no wonder that finally submitting my thesis proposal would be a major source of relief. While everything else in my life is still a developing story, meeting my academic deadline is definitely good news. Yet, more than ever, I find myself wondering what's next. One bundle of stress has been replaced by a gazillion others.

Where does my future lie, I ask myself day in and day out. When waking up or trying really hard to fall asleep. When switching tabs and trying to get some work done. When doing the dishes or showering. When... Well, you get the point. It's a major source of worry for me.

As an overthinker and an overanalyzer, I've been picking out all my interests as they peak and asking myself if they're the path I want to follow. I love Kingtson dearly and have made many friends here, but let's face it, my career goals probably require a move. Then again, there's the possibility of staying in Kingston forever and ever, because I love it so.

I'll let you in on a not-so-secret... While I've been working on my Masters', I've also been applying to jobs that would fall under the "dream" category. Social media consultant positions in the sports industry, marketing, communications or social media director with pro sports organizations, even reporting at the London 2012 Olympic and Paralympic Games. Some applications have gone further than others - sometimes quite surprisingly! - but in the end, all roads have led to disappointment and doubt. Perhaps it's the "ongoing research" part of my CV or the tiny little fact that I can't legally work in the USA unless someone sponsors me. Or maybe I just suck at writing captivating cover letters for an HR audience - I do tend to aim them more towards Senior VPs. Or maybe, just maybe, I'm not good enough.

Because after all, that's the thought that always sparks identity crises, whether on the personal or professional front. "Maybe I'm not good enough."

And the worst part is, there's no way of truly getting an honest, accurate answer. People will rarely tell you to your face, and though rejection letters seem to be saying that you're not, we've all learned by now that sometimes, it's just because you weren't the right person at the right place at the right time who knows the right insider. Or at least, that's what they tell me. That and, "Don't give up!" or "Sometimes you have to take a step back to take a step forward," or any other similar supposedly encouraging clichés.

Let me be blunt. I am not a spoiled, stuck-up brat who thinks the world should be handed to me on a platter. But I've done my due diligence, and I'm tired of entry level positions that go nowhere. I know I can do the job, anyone who's ever worked with me knows I can do the job, heck! Even random network contacts on Twitter know I can do the job! And yet this road seems to lead nowhere. It's hard not to get discouraged. I will keep applying, but there's only so much disappointment and rejection one can take.

And so one must explore other avenues. Yes, I still crave work in the sports industry. I crave it like I do chocolate when I'm PMSing (or any time, really.) But the world doesn't stop spinning or wait for you to understand precisely what it is you need to get that little boost, gain that tiny little edge, and get you where you want and need to be to feel fulfilled professionally.

Other roads that seem to hold this promise include the previous mentioned "Stay in Kingston forever because I love it" scenario as well as the brand new and surprising (to me) "Pursue a PhD" option.

No, really! The girl who was afraid of completing a thesis is still here, but she is now freaking out about comps (comprehensive examinations), committing to a long-term research idea instead of a spontaneous one, quantitative courses like Statistics and Variables, and, more urgently, taking the GMAT or GRE standardized test. That's the big one. The barrier to entry, so to speak. At least from way over here, comps seem relatively benign in comparison to the big, looming, "better score high or forget about it" standardized test.

Yes, I'm aware there are courses and study guides and practice tests. Still. Fellow graduate students, when was the last time you took a closed book, closed environment exam? (Don't answer that, MBAs!) It's a scary scenario when it's been a while, and yet one I'm increasingly strongly considering. Or at least exploring. I've still got a thesis to write, after all, and I would really prefer a program that allowed me flexibility in my course plan so that I feel intellectually stimulated and challenged in all the right ways. And like I'm finally on track. So if you're aware of any excellent innovative Sports Management PhD programs in Canada or the USA, I'm all ears!

And then there's the Kingston plan. I've said it before (at least twice in this post alone!), I <3 Kingston. There's something about it that's charming and exciting. Perhaps the mix of old and new, the blend of city and country. Whatever it is, it repeatedly fills me with joy and childlike glee. Maybe I could build a life in Kingston, I think. Consult (social media), communicate (PR), start a business (CarShare Kingston). All three options are interesting and viable and have been suggested to me by other Kingston residents as well. But these feelings are eerily similar to ones I've felt before about the media industry and the sports industry, and we all know how that's working out.

If I were to choose Kingston, I think I would run for City Councillor in 2014, the next municipal elections. It would be interesting, challenging, stimulating, and it would make me feel like I'm accomplishing something important by representing my fellow residents at City Hall. It would also be a responsibility I would wholeheartedly enjoy and dedicate myself too.

These traits are also the ones friends and colleagues point out when I mention the possibility of doing a PhD. "You like research and you're good at it." It's true. I love digging, discovering, and sharing. I've often been told I would be a good teacher. I would like to think I'd be a better professor - I'd be teaching people who, for the most part, are in my classroom by choice. The only aspect of academia that I'm not 100% in tune with is the highly political process of funding applications and other higher education administrative games.

Maybe I'm an idealist, but I believe that most research has value, and that should be enough for funding agencies. I'm not sure where the money should come from, but I just don't like the thought of competing against my friends and colleagues every year, not just for money but for tenure. It gets to be damaging. Sure, I'm pretty competitive and I like to win. But I also like harmonious working environments and I feel like this process fosters quite the opposite in most departments.

In the end, I may choose a completely different path, perhaps one that hasn't even been revealed to me yet. Meanwhile, I'm struggling with the three roads in front of me. Doing nothing is not an option, though delaying a choice by defaulting to Kingston might be. At as now, there is no pressing urge to commit to a single road - except to stop the clock in my head from ticking annoyingly - and I will keep marching along on all three for as long as I can. But ultimately, a choice must be made, and as application deadlines creep increasingly closer, I must at least decide whether I will be deciding now or not.

Maybe I'm just impatient. Maybe I'm just letting various sources of stress gang up on me, overwhelming and confusing me. But this identity crisis is as real as any, and the planner in me wants to know now, so at least I can cross certain items of my to-do list, thereby reducing overall stress levels and allowing life to proceed at a totally tolerable, no longer terrible, operationally cautionary rhythm and rate.

As Douglas Adams would say, "DON'T PANIC!"

On Time

A whole month has gone by, it seems, and these days more than ever, I am aware of the passing of time. It's not just the minutes and seconds of every day that seem to expire too fast or too slow, it is the implications of those moments.

In the past month, I've seen so many different explorations of "time". Not enough time in a day. Too much time to do something. Having the time of your life. At this point in time. Time goes by. In time. On time. Long-time. Feels like the first time. Time-sensitive material. Timely answers. Bedtime. Timeless magic. Having time to kill. Time standing still. Things changing over time. Overtime. Taking the time. Perfectly timed comebacks. Keeping time. Love that will last for all time. Until the end of time. In the meantime. Timing. Time management. Time-tracking. Time and time again. Time out.

Time to change.

That's the kicker, ain't it? No matter how time seems to be moving around you, it always boils down to deciding whether or not to change (tasks, ways of thinking, position, feelings...).

In the past month, I've had some wonderful times and some stressful times. Emotional times too. I went to the Taylor Swift concert in Montreal with an amazing friend, and also got to spend time with my family. I went to my cousin's beautiful wedding weekend and got to meet, re-meet and simply enjoy the company of my extended family. I took the time to explore Kingston a little bit more, the hidden sights and the touristy ones, alone, with a local friend, and with a visiting long-time friend. And through it all, I had the time of my life.

In the past month, I have also wished that time could just stop for a bit so I could catch up, catch my breath, and catch on. My health symptoms seem to have stabilised for the most part... until I get sudden, painful reminders that we haven't discovered their source or cause yet. Tests have ruled out some of the more obvious answers so now we're left wondering and doing more tests. At least I'm not spending half my day in the washroom anymore, at least not every day. But not knowing what foods to avoid and what is "safe" is definitely a pain - I can't predict when I will feel sick so I've adopted the bad habit of delaying eating to avoid symptoms. Not cool.

One of the tests we did was an allergy test. I've always been allergic to all the common triggers - dust, mold, pets, pollen, ragweed - but I wanted to get re-tested to see if the combination of never-ending allergy shots as a child and puberty might have desensitized me to some of those allergens. I also wanted to find out if I really was allergic to asparagus, as we'd suspected since the age of 2, when I had my first asthma attack after having it as my "new food of the day". Sure enough, some of my pollen allergies had disappeared over time. And I was so allergic to asparagus that I now have a couple of Epipens and am getting a MedicAlert bracelet - at least they're prettier these days then when I was a child! Also, the allergist tested my breathing, which was apparently not under control. Asthma meds have been upped but at least now that the doctor has prescribed additional measures, I can't be lazy about it. Time to turn the negative into the positive!

In the past month, I've also had some stressful times, trying to figure out if Queen's University and the Faculty Association will come to an agreement in time and avoid a strike or lockout. We should know more in the coming days, when the "No Board" deadline is activated. In the meantime, job action measures are creating delays not only in services but in my ability to get work done. It's hard to feel confident about investing time into putting together a thesis proposal when you know that if you have a quick question, you're going to have to wait a long time for an answer - two weeks turnaround time, to be exact. So I've been procrastinating, which no doubt has led to more stress. Tack on the stress of my health issues, making ends meet financially, the discovery of mold (which I'm allergic to) in my apartment (but that my landlord will likely do nothing about) and Pharaoh Ants (which are the hardest to get rid of, though my traps have been quite effective so far) in my kitchen, and you've got a bundle of sleepy, sleepless, restless, nerves. (That's me!)

Over time, stress leads to anxiety and other hyper-emotional reactions, so everything seems to have a heightened impact. Which leads to more stress, of course, and a greater desire for a time out from life. But "in real life", there are no time outs. So it's time to change. Time to buckle up and get my ducks in a row. Yes, work/life balance is important. Yes, a healthy mind thrives in a healthy body. But since I can't seem to control the body part of that equation, I'm going to focus on the mind. I'm going to take the time I need to reset myself - in effect, taking a "real life" time out - by letting others help me manage my time. I'm going to crawl back to Mommy and Daddy and let them take care of me for a little bit of time, and I'm not afraid to say so or ashamed of it.

Because time doesn't stand still.

Time is going by so quickly and I need more time in my day to make sure I get my work done on time. And at this point in time, it's time that I acknowledge the passage of time and take advantage of the little time that I have left to take a young adult time-out before it's time for me to be giving them out. And then, you can be sure that I won't have time to kill.

All in good time!

On #NASSM2011 (and more!)

This past week, I went to my first ever North American Society for Sport Management Conference. I also gave my first ever national/international academic presentation. It was the first time I stayed in a college dorm. And it was my first trip to London, ON.

What a week it was! I met many new people, made new friends and new contacts and learned a lot of new things about all kinds of new topics. I stressed over my presentation and cut, cut, cut it down to a quick, 17-minute talk... only 2 minutes over the recommended 15-minute "presentation" portion of the 20-minute time slot. My roommate and I had a blast in the not-so-stellar dorms at the University of Western Ontario, and one of my new friends' intense Vancouver Canucks fandom made for awesome game-watching experiences.

Apart from that? It was nice to know that NASSM 2011 was the end of my huge end-of-term academic rush. Now, I get to focus on writing my thesis proposal and three papers I've been asked to contribute to as part of my Research Assistanceship work for two different profs. I'm looking forward to more work/life balance (read "fun") and I can't wait to soak up the sun.

In other life news, I am most definitely lactose intolerant, and it's much more serious than I thought it was as even drinking "lactose-free" milk really does a number on my GI system. So I'm taking lactase pills with just about every meal (including my morning cereal) and will be switching to Almond Milk if I can deal with the sweetness levels of the unsweetened variety. There's also some other stuff going on there, so hopefully this week's doctor's appointment will help sort it all out. It's looking like pills for life though, which sucks.

On a more positive note, I am now officially one of the organizers of Limestone New Media Group in Kingston, ON. This comes after giving a presentation on Social Media and Non-Profits during the March meeting and being a guest co-host on the second ever LNMG podcast to discuss my Facebook situation and the implications of those kinds of actions. I'm looking forward to the June meetup and mingling with even more new-to-me Kingston locals!

Finally, I should probably mention that at the NASSM 2011 Student Luncheon, I was voted in as one of three student board members! This means that I will get to organize at least one initiative for NASSM 2012 in Seattle next May. Exciting!! I also hope that I'll be able to increase the amount of communications between students in and with the NASSM community, as well as improve year-long mentoring opportunities. I guess between this and my RA position as NASSS 2011 Advertising & Exhibits Manager, I've got my work cut out for me!

So... Who wants to go to a movie?

On birthdays

It's my birthday today!

On Facebook, when it's your birthday, you are showered with wishes from just about everyone on your contact list. That's a whole lot of email notifications.

This year, I'm not on Facebook (not by choice). Yet, I have been feeling just as much love, if not more. Why? My Twitter friends, upon learning of my date of birth - since Twitter doesn't tell everyone it's your birthday, you have to mention it first! - have been sending birthday wishes my way. And I am basking in the love.

I feel so incredibly blessed to be who I am, where I am, and have the love and friendship (and even acquaintanceship!) of so many wonderful people. It's a beautiful day and my school work is slowly but surely progressing. I have a follow up doctor's appointment this week to deal with my recent health issues. And I'm having a birthday bash next weekend, when my current school deadlines are more or less taken care of. How can I not be happy?!

It's easy to be critical of our selves and overanalyse every little action we take, whether its consequences are positive or negative. It's easy to feel bummed or frustrated or nostalgic - and I've felt all three this week. And that's okay! It's okay to feel under the weather. It's hard work to turn it around and smile instead of frown. My life philosophy of finding the positive in even the little things - like the sun shining - makes that task a whole lot more enjoyable.

I am thankful for all my experiences so far, and for those to come, because I know that, good or bad, they will make me a better person. And isn't that the point of life? To grow, develop and flow into a "better" person? It's not about the accumulation of wealth or stuff - though I do love my "things" and would be devastated if I lost the most precious of them. Still, I am aware that these are luxuries. Yes, even my comfy walkable boots.

So today, to celebrate the date of my birth, I have a simple request. Please, take any money you would spend on a present for me and donate it to someone who needs it a whole lot more than me. By contributing to the World Partnership Walk, you are helping me bring the hope and joy that fills my life to little boys and girls (and older ones too!) across the world. On June 12, 2011, I will walk in Major's Hill Park in Ottawa to symbolically represent the work that some of the poorest people in the world need to do daily, all day, just to be able to do the things I take for granted, like having a sip of water or opening the fridge door and finding it full of ingredients. Or turning up the heat when it gets cold at night, or the AC when it gets too hot in the summer.

So please, instead of treating me for my Birthday, let's put an end to global poverty together. That would be the best present ever. Click here to sponsor me for the World Partnership Walk, join my team by registering here, or create your own fundraising team here!

If you haven't heard me talk about the Walk before, you can read some of my blog posts on the subject here and here, and read up about Aga Khan Foundation Canada, the non-profit non-denominational organization behind the cross-cutting programmes that 100% of the money you donate will fund. Discover why the World Partnership Walk is more than a cause, and then gather your pennies, loonies, or $100 bills and make me the happiest girl in the whole world today: http://www.akfcnetcommunity.ca/netcommunity/NailaJ

On Reading Week

Good news, everyone!

Reading Break has left me feeling more calm and collected than I have in months! And this more relaxed "ME" comes at the right time since March is going to be an absolute whirlwind of school writing, class presentations and paper drafting. Upcoming deadlines include leading a class discussion on March 3, and a research summary due on the same day, a class presentation on March 14, a first draft of a paper due on March 30 and another due on March 31.

And then in April, I've got papers due on April 8, April 11, and mid-month (flexible deadline). In other words, except for coming up for occasional breaths of fresh air, don't expect to see me out and about until past my birthday. At least the whole "Well, I've got to eat at some point!" reasoning will come in handy in terms of scheduling compulsory breaks. That and the aquafit classes that I've built-in to my schedule.

Thankfully, this past week has allowed to me get a good chunk of everyday class work and advance research and sourcing done before the deadline crunch really hits me. Surprisingly, instead of getting increasingly stressed as time went by and I wasn't able to meet my stringent self-imposed deadlines, I actually felt myself relaxing. How can I tell? Well, my chronic wrist pain has mostly dissipated and my posture feels less tense, despite basically sitting all week.

There are two or three events that I've committed to, despite my heavy schedule, and I'm sure they will be welcome distractions - and good for forcing me to get work done under pressure. Apart from an upcoming quickie Toronto weekend with the family, I'm also heading back to Montreal to catch a Habs game in March. Plus, there's the Limestone New Media Group meetup in March at my favourite Kingston restaurant, The Tango that I will most certainly be attending, provided I don't have a deadline the next day. The lovely group of people who actively participate in @lnmg activities have become my core of friends in this city, and I absolutely love them. Can't leave them hanging, now can I?

And on that note, back to class-assigned readings and longing for the summer months, when I will be able to expand my "currently reading" bookshelf to include non-academic literature. The sunshine and springtime can't come soon enough!

On writing

So far, the New Year has been full of school work and writing. The paper I was working on for my class last semester went from having a personal deadline of Christmas to January 5th to "before classes start" to finally being finished late last week. Needless to say, with all the work assigned for my classes this semester, I've been more than a little overloaded!

I'm proud to say that my paper just needs a quick edit/revision before I can submit it by email. Plus, I presented it yesterday at Queen's University's 9th annual Macintosh Conference and it got really great feedback. Of course, trimming and turning 28 double-spaced pages of Foucauldian interpretations of the changing power relations in the NHL once players tweet into a 20-minute power point presentation that still covers most of the complex information is a hard feat. It's why the past few weeks have been full of 4am bedtimes and 8:30am wakeup calls. In other words, I've been super tired, super overworked and super brain hurt stressed.

The good news is I've been building in sports, entertainment and BALANCE into my schedule. Instead of sitting around on the couch at home for a few hours waiting for my procrastination to fade and inspiration to strike, I'm being active and sometimes even proactive and going to yoga or aquafit or a play, and working in a coffee shop or pub instead. Surprisingly, this low-pressure approach is actually working out quite well, possibly because the time remaining to get my work done is shorter. In other words, the productivity I gain from impending deadlines is enhanced. Meanwhile, my body feels great, my heart and soul feel fulfilled and life is beautiful! Even my wacky sleep patterns haven't left me feeling too tired. The last time I slept 4 hours, I felt great going to bed late and pretty good waking up too!

All in all, it's a win-win situation. I am glad, however, that this paper is done so my life can get back into a respectable routine, one where work and play and chores are balanced, instead of waiting until I run out of utensils to do the dishes and sleep 4 hours a night so I can get through all my homework.

And speaking of homework, back to class readings I go!

Stay tuned...

On December

Wow. Has it really been that long?

December has been a bit of a whirlwind so far. I can't believe we're already less than a week away from Christmas! Soon, I'll be going home for the holidays. But it won't be a vacation!

Thankfully, I finally finished grading all of my assigned section of the final exam for the class I was TA-ing this semester. It was interesting, and I probably know all the right answers by heart now, but it was a rough ride as well. It broke my heart to deduct points from students who had nearly perfect answers, filled with more information than necessary - showing that they did understand the material - but, unfortunately, forgot to mention one crucial aspect of the answer. For example, that a diagnostic tool in determining drug and alcohol addiction focuses on both physical and psychological factors, or that a treatment addresses attitude and behaviour. I also had to give a few "0" but for those, it really wasn't my fault... I just couldn't justify giving any points!

These second year students also had serious grammatical, sentence structure, and subject-verb agreement issues. My biggest pet peeve for this round of grading? Affect vs. effect. It's really not that hard. I mean, there's even an Oatmeal poster about it! Print it out and hang it across from your desk! There were a few other glaring errors that popped up repeatedly - surprisingly not its/it's or there/their too often - but that one was surely the most annoying one, especially considering the subject matter: The effect of drugs and alcohol and how they affect our overall health.

This afternoon, once I had handed those exams back to the professor, I felt light as a feather and free as air! But unfortunately, it's not all fun and games from here! I've got my first graduate-level paper due... whenever. Sometime before I graduate. Preferably by the end of this academic year. Surprisingly (to me), paper deadlines seem to be pretty relaxed at this level. Still, I have a very busy semester this Winter (2.5 classes + TAing a tutorial + a conference), so I'm planning on getting mine done before next semester starts. I've already compiled a list of readings relating to Michel Foucault's interpretations of power - especially in the later years - and am planning on relating that concept to athletes who tweet. Who really holds the power in that situation, I ask?

I've already done a decent amount of reading, but there's still a lot left to explore. I've indexed it all, and I, in theory, know exactly how much work I have left to do. The trouble is getting through it all. After sitting on the couch for a full day reading heavy theory and its mostly political applications rather than the sports ones I'm looking for, you tend to have a hard time focusing. Your brain gets all mumbled and jumbled and you forget what you're actually thinking about and nothing makes sense anymore. Even after a few breaks, it still feels all confused. The trick is realising that it's really not that big a deal, or that important a concept, and letting it slide through you and hoping it'll absorb through osmosis. Once you hit that wall and remember to pull back from the subject matter you're examining, it actually does start to make some kind of sense, I find. Hopefully, the notes I'm taking aren't too much copy-pasting to be particularly relevant, and re-reading them at the end of my research process will give me a good recap of the situation.

My Christmas vacation, therefore, will not be much of a vacation at all. I'll take some time to relax, take in the joys of the season and spend time with my family. But mostly, I will be sitting on the couch, reading about Foucault and power, before coming home to write my paper and handing it in a good 5 days before the Winter semester starts.

Well, that's the plan, at least.

On life as a grad student

So far, life as a grad student has been pretty good. I've gotten into a home routine that's been keeping my tummy full and my apartment pretty clean, and I'm finally over a series of sickness: allergies, ear infection, cold. It was a pretty depressing time, but at least it allowed me to get used to my environment and understand the resources I have at my disposal... Like which TV channels I get!

In terms of school itself, there's been a lot more reading than I expected. Of course, I did expect a fair amount of work, but for some reason, I thought it might be a bit more assignment-based, kind of like in undergrad programmes. The reading isn't too bad, mostly because the texts are new to me and interesting. Well, most of them. Every week, there's at least one super long, boring, overly-jargoned, hard-to-read text. And by super long, I mean at least 26 pages of photocopied left and right book pages.

Thankfully, I think I've nailed down a reading technique that works for me. First off, I work best on my couch, at home. Not at my desk or in a coffee shop, but on the couch. Go figure!! Working at the office at school is also okay, but only when I need a change of scenery. It doesn't work well on a regular basis, not because it's too loud, but because it's too quiet!

Also, I've discovered that reading off a .pdf works best, unless I'm reading directly from a book. With the .pdf, I can highlight and mark up the text without ruining it, and it's easy to refer to it later on, during class. For the class in which I have to read books, I've been using different-coloured sticky markers to save pages with important discourses on the various topics I'm tracking, and that seems to be working fairly well too. At the end of the book, reading or chapter, if it's an essay collection, I always try to write a few notes on my impressions, questions and the important lines of thinking in the text.

Overall, I think I'm doing a pretty good job at staying on top of things. My next objective is to start incorporating more physical activity in my routine, once my (new) physio clears me for some more active movements. Unfortunately, my plan to bike around town hasn't worked out so well, mostly because the main streets I need to take are pretty bumpy and therefore jarring for my knee, which then causes pain. Still, I'm hoping that I'll be able to build up my strength again so that maybe, by the winter, I'll be able to take part in some cool snow sports again.

And on that note... Time to get back to award applications and readings!

On friendship

I just had the best day ever. Well, maybe not ever ever, but today was absolutely wonderful. I feel so loved and complete and... me.

August 8, 2010 actually started with me at a wedding reception for a girl I grew up with in the same community group. It was a night full of traditions, old and new to me too, and the bride and groomed looked so happy and right for each other, together. The food - yes, we were still eating around midnight - was pretty good too.

After a good 7 hours of sleep, I got a phone call from a long lost friend I'd seen earlier this week. She was driving by on her way to Toronto and stopped in for a quick chat and Timmy's. Any past negative feelings dissipated - I guess I AM mature now! - and it was a natural and comfortable moment of friendship.

I then proceeded to be even more mature - cleaning the house for my guests before what was to be a BBQ/Board Games/Pool Party/Going Away party but, due to the weather, became a Hurry Up and Grill Those Burgers So We Can Get Out of The Rain/Board Games/Going Away party. I also am proud to say that I, who is not super smart in the kitchen, decided to make some yummy salmon even though I wasn't going to eat it today, because otherwise it would go bad. More maturity right there!

Then, another friend dropped by with some banana bread for the party since she could only stop by much later due to conflicting commitments. We had a great little chat while I made sure I didn't burn the rice. I also managed to get out of the house in time to run my errands and pick up some friends and get back home before everyone else showed up. I know it sounds silly, but when you've got loads to do, it's easy to get distracted and start running late. This time, I was more or less on time and felt like a grown-up for it.

Last but certainly not least, we had loads of fun at the party, despite the heavy rain and the power outage mid-way through the night. Trust me, playing Munchkin by candlelight is not an easy task, but we did it and everyone seems to have had a blast anyway!

The food was great, the company was great, and overall, I had a wonderful, amazing, perfect, responsible evening and the most awesome, full day in a very very very long time. And I feel so very loved by all my fantastic friends in Montreal. I didn't think I was going to feel so nostalgic, now that it's almost over, but I'm pretty sure I'm gonna miss you guys.

Thank you so much for blessing me with such a wonderful day, all of you. It was an absolutely perfect going away present! I'm going to ride this loving feeling all the way to Kingston.

Welcome, 2009!

While I did want to write a blog post about my crazy weekend in Tremblant with a few friends, the time has come for a recap of 2008 post.

(For the record, the Tremblant story included setting off the house alarm, being stuck in the driveway because of freezing rain and slippery roads, having no food and sending two of our folk out to the grocery store in a taxi - then the taxis stopped running and they had to beg a good Samaritan for a lift most of the way home. Oh, and the spa jets spewing everywhere because it wasn't full - or warm - enough.)

< /2008>

2008 was a year full of endings and new beginnings. Some of my bittersweet endings include finishing school and temporarily losing my HNIC job. But endings are simply the door to new beginnings, and those were simply awesome.

There was working the playoffs for HNIC in Toronto and making a bunch of new friends in the process, then the week in Calgary for National ISTAR, which also included being part of a documentary on Stampede and caveing in Canmore. In August, I worked on the Beijing Olympics, which was a great experience work-wise and for my personal life. I earned a lot of confidence on and off the job thanks to this stint in Toronto. I made and strengthened friendships, some of which will last a lifetime. I also learned a lot about myself, and grew emotionally - though not always due to positive events.

August was also the impeding doom month, health-wise. On 06/08/08, I broke a tooth biting into soft pastry. On 08.08.08, aka, Opening Ceremonies, I had an acid attack and wound up in the hospital. I had additional dental issues throughout the year, but nothing too crazy - just expensive!

The Fall was odd for me because I didn't go back to school. Instead, I travelled to Kingston to visit Ryan, worked at HNIC for the beginning of the Habs Centennial season, went to Toronto for the Golden Jubilee Darbar, then back to Kingston for Ryan's graduation. I also went to NYC for Labour Day week(end), visiting my cousin at school.

I also made it to Ottawa earlier this week for the World Junior Hockey Championship, seeing Team USA vs. Kazakhstan at Scotiabank Place. It was the second time I made it to Ottawa in 2008 (or was that 3 times?), since I met up with a bunch of Habs fans in the Capital City for Habs @ Sens for Hockey Day in Canada.

This past year was also a good year for boys. And that's all I'll say on that topic ;)

So much happened in 2008, and as you can tell, I can't remember most of it - especially the early stuff.

But what I do know is this: 2008 was a year of change and growth, whether professionally or personally, emotionally or rationally.

Overall, there were a lot more positives in this past year than negatives, and I hope that 2009 will continue this upward trend... despite being faced with a series of depressing events in late 2008.

So, 2009, I welcome you with open arms. Maybe this will be the year I accomplish my destiny!

<2009>

Round 1 in Toronto

Well, Round 1 is over and Round 2 is underway. And I'm still in Toronto! Which is to be expected, and a good thing really. Except that I'm really starting to miss the euphoria and Habs fever of Montreal. Not to mention their weather, which has been considerably more sunny than Toronto ever since that snowstorm period in early April.

As for the job itself, I definitely settled into it. It's really cool to learn all about the different technologies, from the audio mixer to video switcher, EVS machines and a bunch of other stuff like tape archiving, etc. I think my internship at Sportsnet last summer definitely better prepared me for this job, because I at least had some idea of how a studio show and production studio works. Those rows of big yellow tapes in Sports Archives on the second basement didn't scare me!

In a way, I find studio production to be much more hectic in the control room than in a truck. I guess the truck is hectic in a different way. Even though Control Room 42 basically only produces the studio segments and related VTR items, when they're on, it's crazy. And I love it.

My only problem is trying to sleep after a show... All I hear is "roll Silver, cut Silver, mix to Blue" etc etc.

I've learned so much just from observing and listening, and I'm glad that the Hockey Night in Canada family is so open and friendly. Not that I was expecting anything different, but it's nice to be able to ask just about any production related question and get a real answer. You just have to know when to ask and when to just be silent.

Anyway, instead of boring you with more TV observations, I thought I'd try something different. Here's a summary of my time in Toronto from the moment I got to the airport in Montreal until the beginning of Round 2, through facebook.

Enjoy!

PS: The (m) is for mobile update. And it's in reverse time order, by date.

April 5

Naila is in transit. (m) 12:02pm

Naila is in Toronto, ready for her big debut! (m)3:49pm

April 6

Naila thought watching broadcast schedule making was awesome. So hectic. So worth it. (m) 11:02pm

Naila really enjoys the fact that if you miss the subway in Toronto it only takes 2 mins for the next one to show up. Even on weekends. (m)5:33pm

Naila loves that country is the music of choice at her homestay. 11:26am

Naila thoroughly enjoyed work today. 1:57am

April 7

Naila actually got home before 1 am! Impressive! (m) 11:13pm

Naila votes P.J. Stock for superstar of the day!That's 4 straight hours of radio,then 20 mins of TV. 6:32pm

Naila will try to read Total Stanley Cup today. 9:17am

Naila hopes the Habs give her a Bday present for Game 1. 12:34am

April 8

Naila might be getting a cold. Oh well. Even the best fall down sometimes. 9:20pm

Naila feels like today was longer than any other day, but in fact, it was 2h shorter! (m) 8:12pm

Naila can't wait for early meal break! (m) 2:23pm

Naila loves College station because of its beautiful hockey-related murals. (m) 10:46am

Naila couldn't sleep past 7:45. Silly brain. 8:37am

April 9

Naila keeps forgetting she can't get out from Front Street at this time! (m) 11:42pm

Naila just flashed back to last summer... another example of the love-hate relationship between trams and bikes. (m) 2:06pm

Naila just realized that people in Toronto who are not hockey fans think HNIC goes off the air onge the Leafs' season is over. (m) 11:57am

Naila totally is sick. But have no fear! Advil Cold & Sinus is here! 9:50am

April 10

Naila has had the best birthday ever and received an abundance of love and gifts, including the Habs' victory and a promise of a ticket to Vancouver from my dad! 10:36pm

Naila is excited for Ryan's graduation ceremony!(m)12:47pm

Naila has landed in her hometown. (m)10:00am

Naila couldn't sleep, with Ron and Don and Control Room 42 in her ear all night! (m) 7:12am

Naila is kinda impressed that facebook wished her a happy birthday! 12:28am

April 11

Naila has a papercut in the middle of her right index finger. What inconvenient placement! (m) 1:29pm

Naila is so very happy :).

9:27am

April 12

Naila can't believe how loud the Bell Centre is... and that's just on TV! (m) 8:28pm

Naila had a wonderful 2 days in Montreal and will definitely miss Habs fever! (m)10:44am

Naila is flying! (m) 8:09am

Naila feels totally blessed. 12:54am

April 13

Naila loves all these End of Year pics.5:29pm

Naila wonders how she got a bruise in the middle of her right cheek bum. (m) 2:24pm

Naila was looking at Olympic dates and just realized she didn't have to worry about starting school! (m) 11:54am

Naila loves. 10:29am

Naila is glad her prediction for tonight turned out to be wrong. 1:05am

April 14

Naila realizes how much she really does miss playing hockey after watching it day in and day out. 8:38pm

Naila loves her uncanny ability to cut or bruise herself on just about anything. (m) 1:12pm

Naila is glad it isn't as cold as it was supposed to be today. 11:05am

Naila apologizes. 1:02am

Naila was impressed by stellar performances by both early game goalies tonight. Not so much in Calgary. 12:28am

April 15

Naila is so happy for her boys!! (m) 10:36pm

Naila is having hockey related heart attacks! (m) 8:24pm

Naila just saw 2 random guys walking down King street in Habs jerseys. Oh yeah! (m) 3:06pm

Naila is sorta comforted at the fact that the subway fails in Toronto too... but why did it have to happen to me? (m)12:13pm

Naila will rock you. 10:00am

April 16

Naila wrote half her paper in shorthand on the subway ride in to work this morning. 2:23pm

Naila just saw a butterfly crossing the street!(m) 11:34am

Naila is ready for flip flops. 10:17am

Naila enjoys the luxuries in life... like having lunch with Lindsay! 12:09am

April 17

Naila thought that was pretty depressing. (m) 9:47pm

Naila has heart palpitations again! (m) 7:50pm

Naila has decided today is a HUG day. Any and all hugs will be accepted. 10:17am

Naila had fun learning a bunch of new things tonight. (m) 12:24am

April 18

Naila thinks these seagulls or wtv they're called sound like whining babies. Also, yey! sun! 2:24pm

Naila always forgets how different it feels to walk in flip-flop like sandals.11:56am

Naila is excited to hang out with Ryan tonight!!! :D. 10:38am

Naila is sad that her aunt who she hasn't seen in 11 years is in Montreal, and she's not :(. (m) 12:25am

April 19

Naila brought the flowers Ryan got her to the craft room. Now it smells exotic in there. 3:03pm

Naila had a blast hanging out with Ryan and work friends last night. 9:42am

April 20

Naila has decided she's pretty decent looking. (m) 11:20pm

Naila had amazing cake at work today. 7:02pm

Naila really has to get cracking on this act of citizenship assignment. 10:31am

Naila has too much pent-up frustration (not Habs related), but she wishes she'd punched something softer than an elevator mirror. 12:29am

April 21

Naila still can't stop smiling!! 11:29pm

Naila just can't believe it!! GO HABS GO!! (m) 10:22pm

Naila just saw Peter Mansbridge walking around level 4 of the CBC building. (m) 4:23pm

Naila thinks her paper is almost done. 2:42pm

Naila will have to finish this thing at work today. 11:01am

Naila needs to finish this essay. 1:05am

April 22

Naila is hanging out. 7:56pm

Naila saw a girl in a Habs smile Tshirt sitting on a bench in downtown Toronto... And then a guy in a Habs jersey having lunch a few steps away. (m) 2:09pm

Naila almost just walked in to a CTV shot. Can't escape the media forever!! 12:40pm

Naila can't believe she's actually done school. 11:17am

April 23

Naila has new clothes! 10:39pm

Naila would move to Toronto for Red Lobster. (m)8:01pm

Naila can't believe she's actually eating at Red Lobster for the first time since she was like 8. Omg awesome! (m)6:58pm

Naila has Hockey Night music stuck in her head! (m)5:05pm

Naila is shopping on her day off! (m) 3:46pm

Naila wanted to go out but the rain is putting a damper on things... 2:42pm

Naila should be sleeping. 4:31am

Naila has a day off!! 2:59am

And there you have it... the ups and downs of life in live TV...

Concordia Reports - Remembrance Edition

Our second TV show is now on YouTube, published yesterday, just in time for Remembrance Day. Appropriately, there's a lot of memorial and veteran content in this show.

This time, I hosted, had a pack on carepacks to Afghanistan, and helped with the show packaging and opener. I also interviewed veterans from General Vanier Branch 234 in Quebec of the Royal Canadian Legion, aka the Roxboro Branch.

I really had a lot of fun on and with this show, and I think it came together nicely.

As always, I look forward to reading your thoughts and opinions on the show, so post away! Positive and negative comments are welcome, I always want to learn :)


Enjoy!!

MASH

Okay. Remember this game? Mansion, Apartment, Shack House.
Awesome. Used to play it for ages in class (and in the hallways), with random names - often celebrities - and even though we really didn't care what the results were. And we knew how it worked, but were surprised anyway!

Well, I found it randomly online. Today's options are confusing though... Were there always more than one result?
Still, apparently I'm going to be news or sports producer, drive a Versa or a motorcycle that is blue, green or yellow. Live in an mansion, shack or house in Tampa, Montreal, or Finland... See why this is confusing?

Then there's another site that randomizes the results. They tell me I'll be a news producer, drive a Versa, marry Ryan and live in Montreal. Somehow, I don't expect that to happen!

Get me a pen and paper. I'm doing this the old fashioned way!