On summer

Is it September already? Welcome back to "real life", they tell me when they learn I'm in Grad School. After all, the beginning of September means the return to classes and homework, right? Then I mention that I'm a full-time, year-round student who has been working on research and writing papers all summer. Their response? Usually something along the lines of, "Oh."

For most grad students, the only difference between summer and the "school year" is that your supervisor likely isn't teaching and in fact, might be on vacation. Also, you probably aren't TAing, so you have more flexibility over your activities and whereabouts... as long as you get all your work done on time.

Understandably, the days all melt into one another, and the desire to take extended breaks on beautiful sunny days is often overwhelming. However, work is work and deadlines are deadlines, and at the end of the day/week/month/summer, it all has to get done.

I submitted my thesis proposal to my supervisor last week. THE big task on my summer to-do list will soon be crossed off, once I officially submit it to my soon-to-be-formed thesis proposal committee.

To me, this feels like the beginning of summer. I can finally move forward from all the drama, academic and otherwise, in my life and start fresh... More or less. Though my health issues aren't resolved yet, negative test results are a form of diagnosis, so we're getting closer. I'm feeling secure in my friendships and my connection with the Kingston community. And I really enjoyed my sports TV break, working the LPGA CN Canadian Women's Open in Montreal for CBC, despite the ridiculous weather.

I think I'm getting better at figuring myself out and what I want and need in life. This means I am finally allowing myself to put "me" first at times and do things for myself instead of letting people I like (or want to like me) walk all over me. (Granted, I never let them walk ALL over me, but I did give them much more leeway than they deserved.)

Life, my friends, is good. This is what growing up is all about. And this summer made me realize that you really do keep learning all life long, and you keep growing up, bit by bit, until your life comes to an end.

And now that summer has ended academically, it's time for me to catch up on all the little things you let slide while working away on projects or studying for exams. You know, the cleaning and sorting and cooking real food for dinner. Taking care of yourself and rewarding yourself for all your hard work by actually getting things done in other sectors of your life. This is what summer is all about.

My summer starts now.

On Time

A whole month has gone by, it seems, and these days more than ever, I am aware of the passing of time. It's not just the minutes and seconds of every day that seem to expire too fast or too slow, it is the implications of those moments.

In the past month, I've seen so many different explorations of "time". Not enough time in a day. Too much time to do something. Having the time of your life. At this point in time. Time goes by. In time. On time. Long-time. Feels like the first time. Time-sensitive material. Timely answers. Bedtime. Timeless magic. Having time to kill. Time standing still. Things changing over time. Overtime. Taking the time. Perfectly timed comebacks. Keeping time. Love that will last for all time. Until the end of time. In the meantime. Timing. Time management. Time-tracking. Time and time again. Time out.

Time to change.

That's the kicker, ain't it? No matter how time seems to be moving around you, it always boils down to deciding whether or not to change (tasks, ways of thinking, position, feelings...).

In the past month, I've had some wonderful times and some stressful times. Emotional times too. I went to the Taylor Swift concert in Montreal with an amazing friend, and also got to spend time with my family. I went to my cousin's beautiful wedding weekend and got to meet, re-meet and simply enjoy the company of my extended family. I took the time to explore Kingston a little bit more, the hidden sights and the touristy ones, alone, with a local friend, and with a visiting long-time friend. And through it all, I had the time of my life.

In the past month, I have also wished that time could just stop for a bit so I could catch up, catch my breath, and catch on. My health symptoms seem to have stabilised for the most part... until I get sudden, painful reminders that we haven't discovered their source or cause yet. Tests have ruled out some of the more obvious answers so now we're left wondering and doing more tests. At least I'm not spending half my day in the washroom anymore, at least not every day. But not knowing what foods to avoid and what is "safe" is definitely a pain - I can't predict when I will feel sick so I've adopted the bad habit of delaying eating to avoid symptoms. Not cool.

One of the tests we did was an allergy test. I've always been allergic to all the common triggers - dust, mold, pets, pollen, ragweed - but I wanted to get re-tested to see if the combination of never-ending allergy shots as a child and puberty might have desensitized me to some of those allergens. I also wanted to find out if I really was allergic to asparagus, as we'd suspected since the age of 2, when I had my first asthma attack after having it as my "new food of the day". Sure enough, some of my pollen allergies had disappeared over time. And I was so allergic to asparagus that I now have a couple of Epipens and am getting a MedicAlert bracelet - at least they're prettier these days then when I was a child! Also, the allergist tested my breathing, which was apparently not under control. Asthma meds have been upped but at least now that the doctor has prescribed additional measures, I can't be lazy about it. Time to turn the negative into the positive!

In the past month, I've also had some stressful times, trying to figure out if Queen's University and the Faculty Association will come to an agreement in time and avoid a strike or lockout. We should know more in the coming days, when the "No Board" deadline is activated. In the meantime, job action measures are creating delays not only in services but in my ability to get work done. It's hard to feel confident about investing time into putting together a thesis proposal when you know that if you have a quick question, you're going to have to wait a long time for an answer - two weeks turnaround time, to be exact. So I've been procrastinating, which no doubt has led to more stress. Tack on the stress of my health issues, making ends meet financially, the discovery of mold (which I'm allergic to) in my apartment (but that my landlord will likely do nothing about) and Pharaoh Ants (which are the hardest to get rid of, though my traps have been quite effective so far) in my kitchen, and you've got a bundle of sleepy, sleepless, restless, nerves. (That's me!)

Over time, stress leads to anxiety and other hyper-emotional reactions, so everything seems to have a heightened impact. Which leads to more stress, of course, and a greater desire for a time out from life. But "in real life", there are no time outs. So it's time to change. Time to buckle up and get my ducks in a row. Yes, work/life balance is important. Yes, a healthy mind thrives in a healthy body. But since I can't seem to control the body part of that equation, I'm going to focus on the mind. I'm going to take the time I need to reset myself - in effect, taking a "real life" time out - by letting others help me manage my time. I'm going to crawl back to Mommy and Daddy and let them take care of me for a little bit of time, and I'm not afraid to say so or ashamed of it.

Because time doesn't stand still.

Time is going by so quickly and I need more time in my day to make sure I get my work done on time. And at this point in time, it's time that I acknowledge the passage of time and take advantage of the little time that I have left to take a young adult time-out before it's time for me to be giving them out. And then, you can be sure that I won't have time to kill.

All in good time!

On Packing

Packing sure isn't a piece of cake! It definitely makes you crave cake, though, and not just once piece of it! Thankfully, family BBQs and other social events have kept me on top of the cake cravings.

And how's the packing going, you ask? Pretty well. Everything that's not in my bedroom is packed. Lots of things in my bedroom are packed. It's starting to look pretty barren and bare in here. But just because the full boxes are piling up doesn't mean that there aren't many more empties to fill.

Along the way, I've been taking long walks down memory lane, rediscovering the joys and troubles of my childhood. Let's just put it this way: my teenage years were seriously messed up. Old journals from that time period make me cry because I was so completely enveloped in anger and hate and despair. I'm thankful to have grown past that and hope to never sink into that kind of depression again.

But in all the toils and trouble, there are also rays of sunshine. I've uncovered some long lost art and greeting cards, both given and received. Like a hilarious birthday card my brother gave me with two knock-knock jokes in them... his "thing" at the time. Or the beautiful rose my father drew for one of my pre-teen birthdays. Or the birthday card I received from someone named Stephanie (not sure who or when) that said she was happy to be my friend because I'm so generous and always in a good mood. Awwwww... :)

All in all, I'm making packing progress. Apart from day-to-day items and furniture, the only things I have left to sort are old boxes full of files and school work, and the clothes at the back of my closet. With less than a month to go - well, more like 2.5 weeks if you take away my work days - I think we're gonna be good to go right on schedule.

Bonus MRI update: Apart from some irritation and natural wear and tear (aka minimal grade 1 chondromalacia and minimal mucoid degeneration), my knee is fine. Which means all I can do is more physio and more cycling and hope and pray that my knee gets stronger and the pain goes away. At least there are perks!

Bonus research update: If you study hockey from a socio-cultural perspective, we want to hear from you! Two of my (future) classmates and I are trying to organize a paper session for the NASSS (North American Society for the Sociology of Sport) 2010 Conference in San Diego. You can check out the Call for Abstracts here and scroll down to session #13 for details. Spread the word!

Goodbye Love

Yesterday was a day of goodbyes. After a good sleep-in, I made my way to the Bronx to catch the last game the Blue Jays will ever play at Yankee Stadium. Mostly, I just wanted to attend a Yankees game the old fashioned way.

The game itself was pretty okay. The Jays took an early lead and never let up... The final score was 6-2. My seats were fairly high up - read 3 rows from the top of the top - but it was about the experience, not the view.

Yes, I had a hot dog. I wanted to get Cracker Jacks, but that didn't end up happening. I'm just glad I got there in time for the National Anthems... and I stayed until Frank Sinatra's "New York New York" made its 3rd loop through the sound system.

Also, I got a better look at Alyssa Milano's "touch" line. Gorgeous! I can't wait until it's fully implemented in the NHL!

From Yankee Stadium, I made my way to Times Square where I took in the sights and lights... and the mind-numbing ads. I saw the indoor carousel at Toys 'r Us, NASDAQ, and more, then met Isabelle for supper. After a bit of a walk, we settled on our original choice: Joshua Tree, on Restaurant Row, aka 46th St between 8th and 9th avenue. Good food, decent service, nice location.

I ate quickly because I had to make my way to the Netherlander Theatre to see RENT! I took 41st street up simply because that's where the Theatre is located, and got lucky... Despite my rush, the traffic lights let me get a good glimpse and a fairly decent photo of the New York Times building.

Our seats for RENT! were provided for free from one of Aleha's med school classmates... and they were great seats! Orchestra level, section 110... Awesome. We had loads of fun. It was great to see the acting part of the musical. Because I own the soundtrack and know all the lyrics by heart - yes, I was a RENThead - I found it really interesting to see the interpretation of it, both stage and song wise. There were some voices that stood out, like Will Chase's, aka Roger. All in all, a great show, emotional in many ways... and great memories to preserve. Apparently by way of a RENT zip up hoodie.

After the show, we started a quest for food - that landed us in the gigantic M&M store. Wow. First off, I can't imagine why you'd want anything from T-shirts to oven mitts covered in the M&M brand... but people must buy it, because it's there! I, honestly, am all about the chocolate. So I got $17 worth of funky-coloured M&Ms - both regular and dark chocolate peanut.

Then, we crossed the street to the Hershey store. What a dissapointment!!

We also explored the Virgin Megastore. It was having some super sales, so I got a couple of DVDs and CDs. What an insanely huge store! So many goodies...

Finally, we stopped at Maxies for a late night bite to eat. We ordered sweet potato fries (Montreal's are better) and these to-die for (probably literally) deep-fried macaroni and cheese bites. Delicious!!!

Today, I'm off to shop around town. Stay tuned...

NYC: Day 1

Let us now ignore all the previous updates I have promised. I vow to keep that promise - just not now.

Day 1 (or 2, I guess, since I got in yesterday) was absolutely amazing.
It got off to a bit of a rocky start with my cousin's academic trials and tribulations (that's med school!) but we finally made our way out around 3pm and all was forgotten.

First, we headed to Chinatown and the famous Canal street. We were starving and had looked up places to eat on an absolute NYC resource in the matter: menuplaces.com

We chose to eat at Vegetarian Dim Sum, and it was awesome. There were so many options to choose from, and all of them vegetarian! They had mock meats, but there was no need to even dive into that. The portions were huge!! I mean, absolutely humongous! We ordered Spinach dumplings, spring rolls, and some Napa roll thing. And a fried noodles with spicy tofu dish. And a broccoli, bamboo shoots and black mushrooms platter. And brown rice. And some red bean cake for dessert. Also, based a the menuplaces review, we split a large glass of kiwi juice, and it was absolutely stunningly delicious. You could taste and feel the kiwis.

Needless to say it was way too much food and so we ended up bringing half of it home for a supper we're only now devowering.

Then we walked back to Canal street. I had a very important mission: find a new purse. It took many stores and a bit of haggling, but I got a gorgeous two toned blue purse for $25. Along the way, Aleha (the cousin in question) found a blue and black stunner - and we got that for $30 or so. And of course, who could resist the rows upon rows of sunglasses... especially at 2 for $10! Aleha and I tried on many pairs and made many funny faces. And now, I have red sunglasses. Awesome.

Eventually, we abandonned our original plan to go to SOHO - don't worry, it'll get done before I leave!

Instead, we went to the Lower Upper West Side (confused? Tell me about it!), searching for a bakery and a chocolate shop. We eventually found the Jacques Torres chocolate shop - what an amazing smell that place had - and got an ice cream cookie cake. It's heavenly. Especially on a hot muggy day like today.

We then decided to do groceries. At 9pm. Which I find totally awesome. In fact, the whole Upper West Side neighborhood was gorgeous. After groceries, we went to a 24h bagels place and bought some goodies for breakfast/brunch tomorrow. Then walked about 20 blocks to take the crosstown bus. Again, great walk. Easy too, despite the weight of all our bags.

So far, this has been an amazing trip. Aleha and I are having a blast together, and we actually get along super well - which is great given that we're sharing a really small space, and we've known each other for just under a year.

Tomorrow, I'm heading to Yankee Stadium to catch the Blue Jays in action, then meeting Isabelle and her crew for dinner in Times Square, before heading off to the Neatherlander Theatre to see RENT one last time. A night of goodbyes, it seems.

Stay tuned...

A much needed update

I was just thinking that four months might be enough time to come up with something worthy for an update, and I guess it is.

In the last four months, I've:

-Moved back to the West Island with my parents (and re-learned the hardships of poor bus services, not having a car, and actually having to get somewhere before being able to just go somewhere)
-Started working at The (Montreal) Gazette (as a copy clerk, basically an entry level editorial position. I'm not complaining, it's fun! Also, I get to meet nearly everybody, and I read the paper one day in advance :P )
-Registered my business in the province of Quebec (and therefore gotten a QST/GST number to apply to my freelance operations, and being able to claim some of the following as business expenses - read on...)
-Bought a new 21-inch not widescreen monitor, a beautiful glass-top desk, a planner I'll start using in August, a Queen-sized bed, a bedside table, and a dresser.
-Successfully moved on (more or less)

Overall, quite a good list for only four months. Also, I did a military journalism internship, which was loads of fun. We got to tour the Valcartier base, the St-Jean military training base/school, the Quebec City Citadelle (we got special access to some areas), the military defence and research centre at Valcartier (all restricted projects), and so much more. Most importantly, I made friends that will (hopefully) last a lifetime. Still need to plan a trip to Ottawa...

Yes, there have been a lot of changes in a short period of time, but they're mostly good changes. It's weird to not make plans based solely on my input, and it's definitely frustrating not to be able to just go out without going somewhere first. Plus, it's been extremely interesting (and it still is) to work at the Gazette. Strangely fulfilling as well, since it has always been a sort of dream of mine. Still working on the covering the Canadiens part, but I have reason to believe that it's not that far out...

Stay tuned...