On summer

Is it September already? Welcome back to "real life", they tell me when they learn I'm in Grad School. After all, the beginning of September means the return to classes and homework, right? Then I mention that I'm a full-time, year-round student who has been working on research and writing papers all summer. Their response? Usually something along the lines of, "Oh."

For most grad students, the only difference between summer and the "school year" is that your supervisor likely isn't teaching and in fact, might be on vacation. Also, you probably aren't TAing, so you have more flexibility over your activities and whereabouts... as long as you get all your work done on time.

Understandably, the days all melt into one another, and the desire to take extended breaks on beautiful sunny days is often overwhelming. However, work is work and deadlines are deadlines, and at the end of the day/week/month/summer, it all has to get done.

I submitted my thesis proposal to my supervisor last week. THE big task on my summer to-do list will soon be crossed off, once I officially submit it to my soon-to-be-formed thesis proposal committee.

To me, this feels like the beginning of summer. I can finally move forward from all the drama, academic and otherwise, in my life and start fresh... More or less. Though my health issues aren't resolved yet, negative test results are a form of diagnosis, so we're getting closer. I'm feeling secure in my friendships and my connection with the Kingston community. And I really enjoyed my sports TV break, working the LPGA CN Canadian Women's Open in Montreal for CBC, despite the ridiculous weather.

I think I'm getting better at figuring myself out and what I want and need in life. This means I am finally allowing myself to put "me" first at times and do things for myself instead of letting people I like (or want to like me) walk all over me. (Granted, I never let them walk ALL over me, but I did give them much more leeway than they deserved.)

Life, my friends, is good. This is what growing up is all about. And this summer made me realize that you really do keep learning all life long, and you keep growing up, bit by bit, until your life comes to an end.

And now that summer has ended academically, it's time for me to catch up on all the little things you let slide while working away on projects or studying for exams. You know, the cleaning and sorting and cooking real food for dinner. Taking care of yourself and rewarding yourself for all your hard work by actually getting things done in other sectors of your life. This is what summer is all about.

My summer starts now.

On 2009

First off, Happy New Year to all!

Good. Now that that's done... I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season. I was fortunate enough to escape the cold Montreal winter for 7 days in Cuba with my parents on the beautiful beach of Varadero. It was a great experience - my first of hopefully many Cuban escapades! - and yes, I've got a great tan.

And what a grand way to cap off 2009!

They say that what you do on New Year's Eve and Day is a prediction for your year. In that case, 2010 will see me feeling lonely in a crowd but ocean and beach-side, traveling, spending good times with family and missing my friends.

Looks like nothing's going to change.

For me, 2009 was a year of self-discovery.

I put an end to some toxic relationships and pulled myself away from some that might have become toxic. I realized that sometimes, it's okay to put "me" first.

I wrote many proposals and started a few projects and didn't get to finish most of them... but that's just business. I applied for a whole lot of jobs, revamped my CV and re-launched my personal brand as a freelance broadcast TV technician, translator, and online branding specialist. And I designed my very first set of business cards!

I learned not to care so much about the actual work but to cherish the moments, opportunities and people I get to work with instead. I also learned my lesson - more than once! - that politics can wreck perfectly functional business relationships and destroy potentially marvelous opportunities.

I picked up the guitar again, got my very own gorgeous (red!) instrument, and have almost mastered Bm, F, and Bb. I spent time in a choir, which helped me re-acquire some of the vocal range I had lost.

I started reading again and learned how to turn off the TV, the computer, and the BlackBerry... without panicking! I re-acquainted myself with the gift of nature and truly fostered my love for the elements, fresh air and trees, despite my allergies. I fell in love with the activities of my childhood: hiking, paddling, cross country-skiing and simply exploring the wonders of the outdoors.

I spent most of the year in a wonderful relationship that left me a better, richer person than at the start of it. I gained a precious friend, and through him, many more great friends and experiences that I will never forget. I remembered how to love, and more importantly, how to be (and feel!) loved.

I did some yoga, then stopped doing yoga when I got too busy. But I will never forget the relaxation and respiration techniques I learned, and in fact, I use them unconsciously when I get stressed out or have been sitting for too long.

I spent lots of time traveling in planes, trains and automobiles: Toronto, Ottawa, Kingston, Cleveland, Niagara Falls, Lake Placid, Kenya, Cuba...

I devoted myself to a cause I strongly believe in and earned a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to see for myself how beneficial my volunteer work - and that of many others before me - truly is, at the ground level. My trip to Africa left me deeply inspired by the hope of a better world and thankful for all that I have and am.

In 2009, I built myself up, higher, faster and stronger than ever before. I picked myself up, time and time again, and struggled with personal and professional aspects of my life. I was unhappy at the surface but happy deep inside. I was angry at life and the world, but felt blessed at the same time. I was presented with a bunch of marvelous opportunities but worked hard to get those offers. I had high hopes for myself and others but was repeatedly turned down and broken down.

If there is anything I learned in 2009, it is to manage my expectations.

Looking ahead, 2010 promises to be full of surprises and blessings. I kicked off the year in Cuba, inspired by the moon, the sun, the sand and the ocean. I will be traveling again in less than a month, going to Vancouver for the Olympic Games. I will make new contacts, new friends, and continue to develop myself, professionally and personally.

I will allow myself to take more time off and spend more time away from the TV and other media. I will continue to read more, focusing this year on all the non-fiction I've been meaning to dig in to.

I will continue to work on being healthier, mentally and physically, and start by simply getting outside more. I will not limit myself with false pretenses and silly excuses but acknowledge my motivations and use them to encourage myself to stay active.

I will laugh more than I have ever laughed. I will live and I will grow. I will cry and be frustrated at times, but that's okay. I will let it all out - privately - then move on. I will enjoy my life, and if I don't, I will take matters into my own hands and make the improvements I seek. I will be the change I want to see in the world.

I will be honest with myself and with others. I will back down when I'm just being stubborn but I won't back down when I am right or defending my rights.

Most importantly, in 2010, I will be happy. I can feel it in my bones, even as I am managing my expectations: whatever happens in the next year, positives and negatives, ups and downs, the sine waves that regulate our lives will leave me with a higher average leading in to 2011. That's not to say that I won't have any deafening lows, but the peaks are sure to make up for that, no?

And so determined, I march in to 2010 with a big smile on my face, because it is sure to be another defining year.

The long awaited moment...

Raise your hand if you're as excited as me that the NHL is releasing their 2007-2008 schedule on Wednesday!

*raises both hands*

Come on now, don't be shy!