The Impending Zenith

On moving forward

2012-01-01T10:30:00.000-05:00

In case you haven't heard the news, the last month or so has been a whirlwind of change. My life has undergone a complete transformation. I went from a grad student looking for my way to the Director of Media Relations for the Hamilton Bulldogs.

Yeah. Crazy stuff!

So, naturally, I had to pack up all my stuff and move to Hamilton. In about a week and a half. Thankfully, I'd found an apartment just before my trip - yes, I knew way back then but had to keep the secret - and I had also started the process of purchasing a car at that time.

I spent the first week in this adorable retirement home that was basically across the street from Copps Coliseum, aka Work, aka My Second Home. Seriously, I spend lots of time at the rink. But I love it. I really do. I'd forgotten how much I loved reporting from a live game, and live tweeting a game, and most importantly, media planning. Plus, I got thrown right into the middle of things with a huge press conference about the 2012 AHL Outdoor Classic game taking place here in Hamilton on January 20-21st, 2012. SO very excited to be a part of this amazing, exceptional, historic, once-in-a-lifetime event.

But it hasn't been all coming up roses. I've had my share of negative experiences since moving to Steeltown - mainly involving cars. Hilarious (not) stories that I will some day shake my head at and laugh at when I tell them. It's been mostly positive, but as with all transitions, there are always bad moments and good moments. Like realizing I have noisy upstairs neighbours again, or that the work on my apartment wasn't completed before I move in.

But as I have learned, in the grand scheme of things, that's not important. What's important is the people that you surround yourself with and who make a difference in your life. And I have a fantastic network of family and friends. My Kingston friends have been incredibly supportive, and my newfound Hamilton friends are proving to be wonderful as well. Plus, I've had amazing feedback from all my non-local friends. It really does make you feel blessed.

Most importantly, the past month has put me in a whole new frame of mind. Some of the things that used to worry me are no longer at the top of my concerns list. And again, I've learned that I need to let go of things I cannot control.

So my goal for 2012? I resolve to bring only the positive with me into this new year, and leave all the toxic, negative thoughts and experiences behind. I'm excited!! :)

Happy New Year!

On travels and tribulations

2011-11-23T09:42:00.000-05:00

I just came back from a three-week trek to the US. And what a wonderfully varied trip it was!

First stop, Minneapolis for the 2011 NASSS Conference. I was giving two presentations, though that's against the rules, in theory. But, I wasn't breaking the rules, in theory. My first presentation was actually for a co-authored paper, as part of my summer research assistanceship. You can re-watch Avery-one Has An Opinion: Twitter, Same-Sex Marriage, and the NHL here. My second presentation was based on a paper I wrote last year. Watch Tweeting the Game: Is live-tweeting reshaping the NHL fandom experience here.

But this trip wasn't all business. I did some shopping at Target. Several times. Including at the original store location. I rode a rollercoaster at the Mall of America. And I got to see the local area through the eyes of a co-conference attendee and friend who is from the area. Plus, I got to meet Celebration Generation!!

Next stop, Phoenix, where I stayed with a friend and explored the area for a few days before attending my cousin's amazing wedding. I visited the Heard Museum, an experience that made me smile at all the beautiful symbolism but also deeply angered me. There was so much "othering" in the exhibits, as well as by the tour guide, that I left more frustrated than anything.

I also drove up to Meteor Crater (on Historic Route 66!!), the largest and most well-preserved meteorite landing site on Earth. What an amazing and jaw-dropping experience! It's one of those things that photos just can't do justice, so I won't even bother posting one here. You have to see it in person to understand. The vastness makes for a truly spiritual experience that cannot be replicated. Nature is simply... ungraspable.

The wedding events were absolutely spectacular too. As a part of the family, I was able to attend basically everything, and, as a wedding lover, I was in heaven. On one of the days, between the civil ceremony and the mendhi night, I also got out for a hike! I chose Pietsewa Peak rather than Camelback or Echo Mountain because it was supposed to be less steep. This was the case... in theory. The terrain was very rocky and there were several ups and downs along the way. My knee was very unhappy. But just imagine if I'd gone with a steep trail! After 2.5 miles of my 4ish, I started feeling stabs of pain that made it very tough to walk. It didn't help that the trail indications were a bit confusing. But with some rest and inspiration from a Ms Tracy Lee I met on my last leg, I made it 'til the end!

Tracy told me about her connective tissue disorder, and how her doctors say she should be in a wheelchair. Instead, she hikes Phoenix mountains almost daily despite her torn ligaments and dislocations. And the best part is, she was inspired by me in return! She was glad I took the time to appreciate the mountain when so many locals don't, and despite my recurring knee pain. And all of this started with my simple question about how her Vibram Five Fingers were holding up on the rocky terrain.

After a day of rest, it was time to test my knee on the dance floor... but sadly, I could not bear to even stand in heels. I did dance most of the night away in my flats though, and the fun and cousin time was absolutely worth it!

The one downside of this leg of the trip was our hotel woes. We stayed at the Homewood Hilton in Biltmore-Phoenix. The room was fine... until the card reader decided to stop working on wedding day, leaving us stranded without our outfits and running hours late. After 3.5 hours, two technicians, and two failed attempts to get us in (using a card reader resetting machine and attempting to jack the door), the manager finally decided to take us up on our many many suggestions to try to get in through the window. Within 10 minutes, she was in, having shimmied the locked window "just enough". At ceremony start time. My brother was therefore 2.5 hours late, and I, 1 hour late.

Needless to say, we were very unhappy. We refused to pay for the rooms, and requested a new room. How can I feel safe knowing that, 1. I can get locked out at any time, and 2. Someone can come in through my window in the middle of the day or night and steal my stuff, or worse? But that's all water under the bridge now. The wedding - the part I got to see - was wonderful

Next up, a family roadtrip to the Grand Canyon. Absolutely spectacular. Sunrise, sunset, a few hikes (mini for me, short to average length for everyone else), and amazing once-in-a-lifetime sights. The first day started off on a sour note, though. After all my careful planning, we ran late and missed the very beginning of sunrise. Then, in the afternoon, when my memory card was full, I tried to delete the first batch of pictures, which I had already transferred. For some reason, despite the confirmation message, my camera deleted that morning's batch instead. I was heartbroken. I only discovered this on our very last stop of the day. I lost so many unique shots that the rest of my family didn't get to capture, including shots of them. Thankfully, my SLR captured the landscape, but it's the people shots and the things I wanted to share with all of you that I (still) miss the most. Oh, and to cap off the day, I lost my new thermal hat.

Good news though! Day 2 was better! We found my hat in a parking lot we'd frequented, got to sunrise in plenty of time, and had another wonderful, jaw-dropping Grand Canyon day. And after sunset in Sedona, we hit the road for...

The final stop: Los Angeles for some time with our family there. So much fun! We got to hang out as cousins, I relived my childhood at Disneyland (best part: Aladdin the Musical), shopped at some outlets (and another Target), got an amazing $30 full body massage (Super Relax Massage in Chatsworth. Look it up!), finally saw Santa Monica and biked to Venice Beach from the pier (at sunset!), and had some wonderful food (Mmm... Rock Sugar). Oh, and I discovered my new favourite store ever: Cost Plus World Market. WOW. Walking through that store is like taking a stroll in my brain. But... my camera's acting up again, refusing to focus. I guess it's time for a new toy!

After a quick stop in Montreal, I'm back in Kingston trying to sort out my life. If history is any indication, it'll take me three days to unpack. And then a week to do laundry. But hey, that's what happens when you get back to real life, right?

On lessons from a century of life

2011-10-22T07:45:00.000-04:00

A few days ago, one of my close friends' grandmother passed away. She was 104 years old.

No, that's not a typo.

Though I never had the pleasure of meeting her, I did get to know her fairly well through my friend. He told me some of her stories, and stories of her, that made me laugh and made me cry. He may have a few years on me, but even he admits that it's hard to envisage or ever comprehend just how much she experienced in her lifetime. Think about it.

104 years ago, Pablo Picasso was alive and painting. John Wayne was born. Dmitry Mendeleyev, the guy who created the table of elements, passed away.

They'd just invited the first photocopier. Airplanes didn't exist yet. Let me repeat: AIRPLANES DID NOT EXIST. In fact, the term was coined in 1907.

Think back to your "modern" history class. Most of it took place in her lifetime. What a wonderful time it must have been to live! So many amazing discoveries to experience! So much to learn about and so many new places to explore!

I'm sure there is a lot my friend's grandma still could have taught me, and everyone else in my generation. She had strong opinions and values, but she seemed to be an extremely loving, warm, accepting, intelligent, life-long learner.

From my friend's stories, his grandma and I seemed to be kindred spirits. We both understood the importance of always smiling and learning to laugh. Of counting our blessings and being thankful for them too. Of appreciating the people around us and helping them in any way possible. And especially, the importance of loving, because love is the greatest blessing any one of us can bestow.

Most importantly, my friend's grandma taught me the difference between being lucky and being fortunate. Most of the times we say "I'm lucky" what we really mean is "I'm fortunate". What's the difference? You've got to work for the latter. The only time you're lucky is when winning the lottery, she used to scold him. Being at the right place at the right time for that job opportunity? That's called being fortunate that all your hard work finally paid off. Having someone to take care of you when you're sick? Yeah, you're not lucky to have them in your life, but fortunate.

It may seem like a subtle difference, but this difference is of the utmost importance. And learning to use the right word means you've learned to appreciate everything you have, to recognize that you are in control of your own destiny, and are thankful for your blessings.

That's what over a century of life teaches you.

I am fortunate to have known my friend's grandma, and I am even more fortunate that mine is still around to teach me life lessons like these. She may not be 104, but she's still got loads to share!

*** RIP Elsie Maddock, 1906-2011 ***

On vague reflections

2011-10-06T19:36:00.000-04:00

Sometimes, the answer is not where you expect to find it. It's not what you've been building up to or what you've worked so hard to accomplish.

Sometimes, finding the answer means going back to the beginning, to your origin story, to see where you belong.

Sometimes, the answer is right in front of you and has been all along. You just couldn't see it because you didn't know you could, or even that it existed.

Sometimes, the answer is something you didn't ever think possible, so you abandoned it long ago. But when the universe opens up that opportunity to you once more, you cannot ignore it.

Sometimes, the answer is doing what you always wanted to do but never thought you could, though you always knew you could, and that you would be good at it, if you could.

I think I have found my answer. And though it will be scary and hard to let go of everything I have become, I don't see how I can live with myself if I don't try.

Because if I succeed, I think I can truly have it all.

Fingers crossed!

On making choices

2011-09-26T13:15:00.000-04:00

I seem to be having an identity crisis these days. I hear it's quite common amongst others in my age group.

Many people have them upon reaching a major milestone or realizing a significant achievement. Some have one earlier in life, and others, much later. Some, like me, have them often. Apparently, it's a personality trait to be constantly searching for new, or bigger and better. Perhaps it is why my interests and ambitions are so varied... It keeps me feeling involved and evolved, growing yet dedicated to the task at hand.

Since the past few months have been so tumultuous for me, it's no wonder that finally submitting my thesis proposal would be a major source of relief. While everything else in my life is still a developing story, meeting my academic deadline is definitely good news. Yet, more than ever, I find myself wondering what's next. One bundle of stress has been replaced by a gazillion others.

Where does my future lie, I ask myself day in and day out. When waking up or trying really hard to fall asleep. When switching tabs and trying to get some work done. When doing the dishes or showering. When... Well, you get the point. It's a major source of worry for me.

As an overthinker and an overanalyzer, I've been picking out all my interests as they peak and asking myself if they're the path I want to follow. I love Kingtson dearly and have made many friends here, but let's face it, my career goals probably require a move. Then again, there's the possibility of staying in Kingston forever and ever, because I love it so.

I'll let you in on a not-so-secret... While I've been working on my Masters', I've also been applying to jobs that would fall under the "dream" category. Social media consultant positions in the sports industry, marketing, communications or social media director with pro sports organizations, even reporting at the London 2012 Olympic and Paralympic Games. Some applications have gone further than others - sometimes quite surprisingly! - but in the end, all roads have led to disappointment and doubt. Perhaps it's the "ongoing research" part of my CV or the tiny little fact that I can't legally work in the USA unless someone sponsors me. Or maybe I just suck at writing captivating cover letters for an HR audience - I do tend to aim them more towards Senior VPs. Or maybe, just maybe, I'm not good enough.

Because after all, that's the thought that always sparks identity crises, whether on the personal or professional front. "Maybe I'm not good enough."

And the worst part is, there's no way of truly getting an honest, accurate answer. People will rarely tell you to your face, and though rejection letters seem to be saying that you're not, we've all learned by now that sometimes, it's just because you weren't the right person at the right place at the right time who knows the right insider. Or at least, that's what they tell me. That and, "Don't give up!" or "Sometimes you have to take a step back to take a step forward," or any other similar supposedly encouraging clichés.

Let me be blunt. I am not a spoiled, stuck-up brat who thinks the world should be handed to me on a platter. But I've done my due diligence, and I'm tired of entry level positions that go nowhere. I know I can do the job, anyone who's ever worked with me knows I can do the job, heck! Even random network contacts on Twitter know I can do the job! And yet this road seems to lead nowhere. It's hard not to get discouraged. I will keep applying, but there's only so much disappointment and rejection one can take.

And so one must explore other avenues. Yes, I still crave work in the sports industry. I crave it like I do chocolate when I'm PMSing (or any time, really.) But the world doesn't stop spinning or wait for you to understand precisely what it is you need to get that little boost, gain that tiny little edge, and get you where you want and need to be to feel fulfilled professionally.

Other roads that seem to hold this promise include the previous mentioned "Stay in Kingston forever because I love it" scenario as well as the brand new and surprising (to me) "Pursue a PhD" option.

No, really! The girl who was afraid of completing a thesis is still here, but she is now freaking out about comps (comprehensive examinations), committing to a long-term research idea instead of a spontaneous one, quantitative courses like Statistics and Variables, and, more urgently, taking the GMAT or GRE standardized test. That's the big one. The barrier to entry, so to speak. At least from way over here, comps seem relatively benign in comparison to the big, looming, "better score high or forget about it" standardized test.

Yes, I'm aware there are courses and study guides and practice tests. Still. Fellow graduate students, when was the last time you took a closed book, closed environment exam? (Don't answer that, MBAs!) It's a scary scenario when it's been a while, and yet one I'm increasingly strongly considering. Or at least exploring. I've still got a thesis to write, after all, and I would really prefer a program that allowed me flexibility in my course plan so that I feel intellectually stimulated and challenged in all the right ways. And like I'm finally on track. So if you're aware of any excellent innovative Sports Management PhD programs in Canada or the USA, I'm all ears!

And then there's the Kingston plan. I've said it before (at least twice in this post alone!), I <3 Kingston. There's something about it that's charming and exciting. Perhaps the mix of old and new, the blend of city and country. Whatever it is, it repeatedly fills me with joy and childlike glee. Maybe I could build a life in Kingston, I think. Consult (social media), communicate (PR), start a business (CarShare Kingston). All three options are interesting and viable and have been suggested to me by other Kingston residents as well. But these feelings are eerily similar to ones I've felt before about the media industry and the sports industry, and we all know how that's working out.

If I were to choose Kingston, I think I would run for City Councillor in 2014, the next municipal elections. It would be interesting, challenging, stimulating, and it would make me feel like I'm accomplishing something important by representing my fellow residents at City Hall. It would also be a responsibility I would wholeheartedly enjoy and dedicate myself too.

These traits are also the ones friends and colleagues point out when I mention the possibility of doing a PhD. "You like research and you're good at it." It's true. I love digging, discovering, and sharing. I've often been told I would be a good teacher. I would like to think I'd be a better professor - I'd be teaching people who, for the most part, are in my classroom by choice. The only aspect of academia that I'm not 100% in tune with is the highly political process of funding applications and other higher education administrative games.

Maybe I'm an idealist, but I believe that most research has value, and that should be enough for funding agencies. I'm not sure where the money should come from, but I just don't like the thought of competing against my friends and colleagues every year, not just for money but for tenure. It gets to be damaging. Sure, I'm pretty competitive and I like to win. But I also like harmonious working environments and I feel like this process fosters quite the opposite in most departments.

In the end, I may choose a completely different path, perhaps one that hasn't even been revealed to me yet. Meanwhile, I'm struggling with the three roads in front of me. Doing nothing is not an option, though delaying a choice by defaulting to Kingston might be. At as now, there is no pressing urge to commit to a single road - except to stop the clock in my head from ticking annoyingly - and I will keep marching along on all three for as long as I can. But ultimately, a choice must be made, and as application deadlines creep increasingly closer, I must at least decide whether I will be deciding now or not.

Maybe I'm just impatient. Maybe I'm just letting various sources of stress gang up on me, overwhelming and confusing me. But this identity crisis is as real as any, and the planner in me wants to know now, so at least I can cross certain items of my to-do list, thereby reducing overall stress levels and allowing life to proceed at a totally tolerable, no longer terrible, operationally cautionary rhythm and rate.

As Douglas Adams would say, "DON'T PANIC!"

On summer

2011-09-12T16:53:00.001-04:00

Is it September already? Welcome back to "real life", they tell me when they learn I'm in Grad School. After all, the beginning of September means the return to classes and homework, right? Then I mention that I'm a full-time, year-round student who has been working on research and writing papers all summer. Their response? Usually something along the lines of, "Oh."

For most grad students, the only difference between summer and the "school year" is that your supervisor likely isn't teaching and in fact, might be on vacation. Also, you probably aren't TAing, so you have more flexibility over your activities and whereabouts... as long as you get all your work done on time.

Understandably, the days all melt into one another, and the desire to take extended breaks on beautiful sunny days is often overwhelming. However, work is work and deadlines are deadlines, and at the end of the day/week/month/summer, it all has to get done.

I submitted my thesis proposal to my supervisor last week. THE big task on my summer to-do list will soon be crossed off, once I officially submit it to my soon-to-be-formed thesis proposal committee.

To me, this feels like the beginning of summer. I can finally move forward from all the drama, academic and otherwise, in my life and start fresh... More or less. Though my health issues aren't resolved yet, negative test results are a form of diagnosis, so we're getting closer. I'm feeling secure in my friendships and my connection with the Kingston community. And I really enjoyed my sports TV break, working the LPGA CN Canadian Women's Open in Montreal for CBC, despite the ridiculous weather.

I think I'm getting better at figuring myself out and what I want and need in life. This means I am finally allowing myself to put "me" first at times and do things for myself instead of letting people I like (or want to like me) walk all over me. (Granted, I never let them walk ALL over me, but I did give them much more leeway than they deserved.)

Life, my friends, is good. This is what growing up is all about. And this summer made me realize that you really do keep learning all life long, and you keep growing up, bit by bit, until your life comes to an end.

And now that summer has ended academically, it's time for me to catch up on all the little things you let slide while working away on projects or studying for exams. You know, the cleaning and sorting and cooking real food for dinner. Taking care of yourself and rewarding yourself for all your hard work by actually getting things done in other sectors of your life. This is what summer is all about.

My summer starts now.

On Request: Blueberry Cake with Coulis

2011-08-17T14:49:00.005-04:00

Earlier today, I mentioned on Twitter that my Mom was baking an amazing-smelling blueberry cake with citrusy accents. I immediately received recipe requests. So tweeps, this is for you!

Blueberry Cake

Ingredients:

2 cups of blueberries, fresh or frozen (thawed)

1 teaspoon of lemon juice

1/3 cup of milk

1/4 cup of butter, refrigerated and cut into 4 pieces

3/4 cup of sugar

1 egg

4 squares of lemon zest measuring 1 inch per side

1 1/2 cups of all-purpose flour

2 teaspoons baking powder

1/2 teaspoon of salt

Step-by-step instructions:

Wash and strain the blueberries. Lay them on paper towels to dry.

Add the lemon juice to the milk, reserve.

Pre-heat the oven at 350F.

Place the blade attachment into your food processor. Add the butter, sugar, egg and lemon zest. Turn on the food processor for about 20 seconds to chop up the zest and mix the ingredients. Add the milk and lemon juice mixture into the opening while the processor is still running. Stop.

Add the flour, baking powder and salt. Pulse 3 or 4 times to mix the ingredients. Don't over-pulse. Remove the blade from the appliance. Add the blueberries. Mix delicately by hand. Spread the batter in a greased, 8 inch square pan.

Bake in the oven for 40 to 45 minutes.

Blueberry Coulis

While the recipe above came with its own icing instructions, my Mom likes to mix and match with the following coulis topping recipe instead. It's a gazillion times tastier. (Also, it means I don't have to translate the recipe from the food processor book!)

Ingredients:

2 cups of fresh or frozen blueberries

1/4 cup of water

3/4 cup of sugar

2 tablespoons of butter

2 tablespoons of lemon juice

2 teaspoons of cornstarch dissolved in 2 teaspoons of water

Instructions:

Combine blueberries, sugar and water, and cook in a saucepan over medium heat until blueberries are soft. Add lemon juice, butter and cornstarch. Cook until mixture thickens (don't worry if it gets a bit bubbly).

Cool slightly before topping the cake.

You should also let the cake cool before adding the topping.

Et voilà! An amazing yet simple concoction that has remained one of our favourites over the years.

Enjoy!

On Time

2011-08-09T11:17:00.008-04:00

A whole month has gone by, it seems, and these days more than ever, I am aware of the passing of time. It's not just the minutes and seconds of every day that seem to expire too fast or too slow, it is the implications of those moments.

In the past month, I've seen so many different explorations of "time". Not enough time in a day. Too much time to do something. Having the time of your life. At this point in time. Time goes by. In time. On time. Long-time. Feels like the first time. Time-sensitive material. Timely answers. Bedtime. Timeless magic. Having time to kill. Time standing still. Things changing over time. Overtime. Taking the time. Perfectly timed comebacks. Keeping time. Love that will last for all time. Until the end of time. In the meantime. Timing. Time management. Time-tracking. Time and time again. Time out.

Time to change.

That's the kicker, ain't it? No matter how time seems to be moving around you, it always boils down to deciding whether or not to change (tasks, ways of thinking, position, feelings...).

In the past month, I've had some wonderful times and some stressful times. Emotional times too. I went to the Taylor Swift concert in Montreal with an amazing friend, and also got to spend time with my family. I went to my cousin's beautiful wedding weekend and got to meet, re-meet and simply enjoy the company of my extended family. I took the time to explore Kingston a little bit more, the hidden sights and the touristy ones, alone, with a local friend, and with a visiting long-time friend. And through it all, I had the time of my life.

In the past month, I have also wished that time could just stop for a bit so I could catch up, catch my breath, and catch on. My health symptoms seem to have stabilised for the most part... until I get sudden, painful reminders that we haven't discovered their source or cause yet. Tests have ruled out some of the more obvious answers so now we're left wondering and doing more tests. At least I'm not spending half my day in the washroom anymore, at least not every day. But not knowing what foods to avoid and what is "safe" is definitely a pain - I can't predict when I will feel sick so I've adopted the bad habit of delaying eating to avoid symptoms. Not cool.

One of the tests we did was an allergy test. I've always been allergic to all the common triggers - dust, mold, pets, pollen, ragweed - but I wanted to get re-tested to see if the combination of never-ending allergy shots as a child and puberty might have desensitized me to some of those allergens. I also wanted to find out if I really was allergic to asparagus, as we'd suspected since the age of 2, when I had my first asthma attack after having it as my "new food of the day". Sure enough, some of my pollen allergies had disappeared over time. And I was so allergic to asparagus that I now have a couple of Epipens and am getting a MedicAlert bracelet - at least they're prettier these days then when I was a child! Also, the allergist tested my breathing, which was apparently not under control. Asthma meds have been upped but at least now that the doctor has prescribed additional measures, I can't be lazy about it. Time to turn the negative into the positive!

In the past month, I've also had some stressful times, trying to figure out if Queen's University and the Faculty Association will come to an agreement in time and avoid a strike or lockout. We should know more in the coming days, when the "No Board" deadline is activated. In the meantime, job action measures are creating delays not only in services but in my ability to get work done. It's hard to feel confident about investing time into putting together a thesis proposal when you know that if you have a quick question, you're going to have to wait a long time for an answer - two weeks turnaround time, to be exact. So I've been procrastinating, which no doubt has led to more stress. Tack on the stress of my health issues, making ends meet financially, the discovery of mold (which I'm allergic to) in my apartment (but that my landlord will likely do nothing about) and Pharaoh Ants (which are the hardest to get rid of, though my traps have been quite effective so far) in my kitchen, and you've got a bundle of sleepy, sleepless, restless, nerves. (That's me!)

Over time, stress leads to anxiety and other hyper-emotional reactions, so everything seems to have a heightened impact. Which leads to more stress, of course, and a greater desire for a time out from life. But "in real life", there are no time outs. So it's time to change. Time to buckle up and get my ducks in a row. Yes, work/life balance is important. Yes, a healthy mind thrives in a healthy body. But since I can't seem to control the body part of that equation, I'm going to focus on the mind. I'm going to take the time I need to reset myself - in effect, taking a "real life" time out - by letting others help me manage my time. I'm going to crawl back to Mommy and Daddy and let them take care of me for a little bit of time, and I'm not afraid to say so or ashamed of it.

Because time doesn't stand still.

Time is going by so quickly and I need more time in my day to make sure I get my work done on time. And at this point in time, it's time that I acknowledge the passage of time and take advantage of the little time that I have left to take a young adult time-out before it's time for me to be giving them out. And then, you can be sure that I won't have time to kill.

All in good time!

On the Spoon Theory

2011-06-30T11:27:00.004-04:00

As many of you know, I have been dealing with excessively draining and frustrating gastrointestinal issues for the past few months. It has been taxing on my school/work life, my personal life and put a dent in my normally very positive and upbeat personality. It's hard to keep your energy levels up when you're constantly puking or sitting on the toilet.

As if the constant fatigue and frustration at not understanding what's going on in your body isn't enough to deal with, there's also the stress. Stress related to being sick and not knowing why, the stress (on your mind, body, soul) of being sick all the time, the stress of the fear of eating because even "safe" foods don't always stay down, the stress of deadlines getting closer and closer and not being able to work on them, the stress of potentially letting people down, the stress of disappointing friends, families and colleagues when you do let them down because you haven't been able to meet the aforementioned deadlines, the stress of life continuing around you while you're stuck in the same spot day after day, the stress of pushing people away with your continual rants at being sick, tired, frustrated, etc., the stress of being stressed and knowing that stress is just making everything worse...

There's a lot of stress involved. And despite being tired and feeling sick, you try to make it work. You try to meet those deadlines and hang out with friends without being a downer. You try not to feel bummed or like a bum all the time. You try to catch up on sleep to try to counter the fatigue but the pain, nausea, and sickness (and fear of being so sick that you need help but having no one around to help you and not being able to call for anyone before it's too late)... all this stress prevents you from recovering. At least if you could sleep well, you'd feel better, right? So far, catching up on sleep has not made much of a difference. It gives me productive half days where I can ignore the fear of impending sickness but once all my symptoms hit by mid-afternoon, I feel just as tired as if I hadn't slept at all the night before.

It's taxing. It's frustrating. But it's hard to explain to others how draining it is to be sick every day without sounding like a wimp or a whiner.

Last night, one of my Twitter friends introduced me to The Spoon Theory. Having dealt with her share of taxing chronic illness, she thought Spoon Theory might help me cope with the difficulty of understanding and explaining what was going on. She was right.

The Spoon Theory was developed by Christine Miserandino when her closest friend, who had been with her through a variety of Lupus-related situations outside the normal day-to-day activities of normal young adults, asked her what it felt like to be sick. Thinking her friend was asking about the medical definition of having Lupus, Christine confusedly went through the symptoms and health repercussions. When her friend specified that she was seeking to understand the embodied experience of chronic illness, Spoon Theory was born.

Here's a 3-paragraph extract from Christine's amazing Spoon Theory article:

At that moment, the spoon theory was born. I quickly grabbed every spoon on the table; hell I grabbed spoons off of the other tables. I looked at her in the eyes and said “Here you go, you have Lupus”. She looked at me slightly confused, as anyone would when they are being handed a bouquet of spoons. The cold metal spoons clanked in my hands, as I grouped them together and shoved them into her hands.

I explained that the difference in being sick and being healthy is having to make choices or to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesn’t have to. The healthy have the luxury of a life without choices, a gift most people take for granted.

Most people start the day with unlimited amount of possibilities, and energy to do whatever they desire, especially young people. For the most part, they do not need to worry about the effects of their actions. So for my explanation, I used spoons to convey this point. I wanted something for her to actually hold, for me to then take away, since most people who get sick feel a “loss” of a life they once knew. If I was in control of taking away the spoons, then she would know what it feels like to have someone or something else, in this case Lupus, being in control.

She grabbed the spoons with excitement. She didn’t understand what I was doing, but she is always up for a good time, so I guess she thought I was cracking a joke of some kind like I usually do when talking about touchy topics. Little did she know how serious I would become?

I highly suggest that you click through and read the whole article. It's a quick but well-packed piece that does the best job at accurately representing what it feels like, day-to-day, to have a chronic illness or chronic pain or even a mental health issue such as depression.

Reading about Spoon Theory late last night helped me relax. It filled me with hope for a resolution, which is what I should've been feeling after a very positive appointment with a new doctor who actually listened to me and believed what I was saying about the changes in my body and ordered a whole bunch of diagnostic tests. But getting sick that evening had once again put a damper on things. The spoons I'd gained had been lost, so to speak.

But Spoon Theory has helped me accept that this might be a reality for me. It also helped me see that it might not. Either way, Spoon Theory helped me remember something very very important: I have more spoons than most people, and for that, I am very thankful.

I have an excellent support system, friends that aren't tuning me out when I rant (again!) about feeling sick and tired and frustrated but instead are concerned about me. I hope that by sharing The Spoon Theory with them, they will better be able to understand why I feel panicked about not being able to meet my deadlines and can't always accept their very generous home-cooked dinner invitations even though I really really want to. I love you just for offering and I don't like turning you down but sometimes, the best thing I can do for me is to save a spoon so I fall asleep with little to no pain or drama.

Hopefully, all of this will be resolved soon. I know I'll feel a whole lot better when I finally know what I have. Then, I can start to count my daily spoons and deal with it.

On extended deadlines

2011-06-21T14:18:00.004-04:00

Ah, deadlines! Can't live with them, can't live without them! You know me. I thrive under pressure. I love love love deadlines. They don't, however, always love me.

Sometimes, a deadline is scheduled for the most inopportune time. For example, the 2011 World Partnership Walk fundraising deadline was set to June 15, which didn't give a busy graduate student like me much time to build momentum and really reach out to my usual donors. Luckily, that deadline was extended to June 30! So you've got 9 more days to contribute to ending global poverty by donating now: http://www.akfcnetcommunity.ca/netcommunity/NailaJ

100% of your donation, as you know, goes directly to longterm sustainable international development solutions that consider the environment and gender equality while dealing with core areas like health, education, community engagement, and fostering the development of civil societies.

These programmes are not cookie-cutter solutions. Instead, the Aga Khan Development Network, along with receptive government agencies and local partners, go to the affected communities and ask them what they need the most. Then, they help them develop the right solution for that village, train them to implement it themselves, and give them the resources to succeed and then teach this skill to surrounding villages in need.

It's a smart way to make sure everyone feels empowered and committed to improving their own lives and livelihoods. Yeah, it's pretty awesome. So today, tomorrow, or some time before the end of June, please donate to the World Partnership Walk and help me reach my $2,500 fundraising goal! I'm about halfway there and would love to see that fundraising thermometer animation overflow! Last year, I raised $2,000 with your help so I know we can make it happen!

When I walked the 5K Walk in Ottawa on June 12 - despite having a bad case of stomach flu - the organisers announced that Ottawa had reached its fundraising target. And, our team, the Kingston Hope-Raisers, won one of the Top Team awards! So far in 2011, the World Partnership Walk has raised over $6 million dollars across Canada! Click here to donate now and be a part of the solution to global poverty.

Together, we can change the world, one step at a time.

Please help me raise funds for the World Partnership Walk: http://www.akfcnetcommunity.ca/netcommunity/NailaJ

Thanks so much for your continued support!

On #NASSM2011 (and more!)

2011-06-07T10:12:00.000-04:00

This past week, I went to my first ever North American Society for Sport Management Conference. I also gave my first ever national/international academic presentation. It was the first time I stayed in a college dorm. And it was my first trip to London, ON.

What a week it was! I met many new people, made new friends and new contacts and learned a lot of new things about all kinds of new topics. I stressed over my presentation and cut, cut, cut it down to a quick, 17-minute talk... only 2 minutes over the recommended 15-minute "presentation" portion of the 20-minute time slot. My roommate and I had a blast in the not-so-stellar dorms at the University of Western Ontario, and one of my new friends' intense Vancouver Canucks fandom made for awesome game-watching experiences.

Apart from that? It was nice to know that NASSM 2011 was the end of my huge end-of-term academic rush. Now, I get to focus on writing my thesis proposal and three papers I've been asked to contribute to as part of my Research Assistanceship work for two different profs. I'm looking forward to more work/life balance (read "fun") and I can't wait to soak up the sun.

In other life news, I am most definitely lactose intolerant, and it's much more serious than I thought it was as even drinking "lactose-free" milk really does a number on my GI system. So I'm taking lactase pills with just about every meal (including my morning cereal) and will be switching to Almond Milk if I can deal with the sweetness levels of the unsweetened variety. There's also some other stuff going on there, so hopefully this week's doctor's appointment will help sort it all out. It's looking like pills for life though, which sucks.

On a more positive note, I am now officially one of the organizers of Limestone New Media Group in Kingston, ON. This comes after giving a presentation on Social Media and Non-Profits during the March meeting and being a guest co-host on the second ever LNMG podcast to discuss my Facebook situation and the implications of those kinds of actions. I'm looking forward to the June meetup and mingling with even more new-to-me Kingston locals!

Finally, I should probably mention that at the NASSM 2011 Student Luncheon, I was voted in as one of three student board members! This means that I will get to organize at least one initiative for NASSM 2012 in Seattle next May. Exciting!! I also hope that I'll be able to increase the amount of communications between students in and with the NASSM community, as well as improve year-long mentoring opportunities. I guess between this and my RA position as NASSS 2011 Advertising & Exhibits Manager, I've got my work cut out for me!

So... Who wants to go to a movie?

On making a positive impact

2011-05-29T12:07:00.000-04:00

With World Partnership Walk events taking place in three cities across Canada this weekend, I was inspired to post one last plea to help me eliminate global poverty. As you know by now, 100% of funds raised go directly to longterm sustainable international development solutions that help improve the lives and livelihoods of some of the poorest people in the world. Not one cent is spent on administration! Plus, your donation will help leverage additional funds from partners like the Canadian International Development Agency, who last year multiplied donations by an average factor of 6.

Just think! Your $50 donation became $300. All of it helped fund projects that are identified and implemented by local communities, targeting the areas they determine to be in greatest need and providing solutions like revitalizing a rural economy, ensuring clean water and sanitation, strengthening community-based organizations and educating new generations of girls and women. Just like that!

I raise funds for the World Partnership Walk because I want to make a positive impact on the world. I can't afford to give much, but I do what I can, volunteering my time and expertise as well. Please help me leave a legacy I can be proud of. Click here to donate now and give the gift of hope: http://www.akfcnetcommunity.ca/netcommunity/NailaJ

Together, we can end world poverty, one step at a time! Join me in Ottawa on June 12, 2011 at Major's Hill Park as we walk the Walk in symbolic support of those who walk daily for their basic necessities: drinkable water, an education, or work in the fields. In this beautiful setting, rain or shine, we will continue the legacy of the 17 women who started the World Partnership Walk in Vancouver 27 years ago. Since then, we have raised over $60 million dollars for the cause. How high can we take that number in 2011?

Thank you so much for your continued support. It means the world to me!

-Naila
http://www.akfcnetcommunity.ca/netcommunity/NailaJ

On going dairy-free

2011-05-16T10:28:00.000-04:00

In the most recent development of my ongoing stomach issues saga, my doctor friend has asked me to go dairy-free for two weeks. This was after my actual doctor, either because she wasn't happy that I was discussing my health issues with my doctor friends or because she was simply unaware, told me there was no such thing as a lactose intolerance test.

You see, my doctor friend wondered if my stomach issues could be more than H.Pylori (it wasn't) or GERD (this is probably part of it). Our current "favourites" are Irritable Bowel Syndrome, something deeper, darker, and scarier and rarer that has yet to be mentioned, or lactose intolerance. To recap, not only will I probably have to take Proton-Pump Inhibitors for the rest of my life, based on the treatment's semi-effectiveness one month in, but I probably will have to make another change in my day-to-day routine.

So we go dairy-free. It's the hard way of figuring out if I'm actually lactose intolerant or simply lactose sensitive, as I've been terming it. I haven't been able to drink straight-up cow's milk for at least 3 years, and the creamier a food, the more trouble it gives me. This means ice cream is often a pain in my gut, and I avoid alfredo sauce, creamy desserts, and more. (Yes, I know about soy and almond milk products. I can't handle the texture - it makes me feel like puking.)

One would think that since I'm already on "lactose-free" milk, removing dairy from my diet wouldn't be such a big deal. I just have to manage my cheese and chocolate cravings for 14 days and forget butter exists. Easy peasy!

NOT.

Did you know that most prepared meats, breads/baked goods, snacks, salad dressings and canned foods have some sort of milk additive? Look up the ingredients. If you see casein, whey, dry milk powder, prebiotics, high protein, or any other variations on the list, that product is not dairy-safe. Even prescription pills use milk products as filler! My morning cereal has whey in it so I can't even have that stable staple to look forward to!

No potato chips, no crackers except for melba toast, no seasonings except for oil and herbs.

Basically, my diet for the next two weeks will consist of "fresh" meats and fish, veggies, and pasta. I'm not risking any canned foods in case they're not listing possible milk cross-contamination, since there are no milk allergy or "lactose-free" guidelines in Canada. Fortunately, my regular bread is safe, as are peanut butter and most jams/jellies/honey.

I spent half my day today looking up safe and unsafe foods, finding appropriate recipes, and reading the ingredients on pretty much everything in my fridge and pantry. Tomorrow, I'm going to pick up some dairy-free cheese and finally attempt to make my own tofu. I'm also going to search for dairy-free chocolate (cocoa is dairy-free but most commercial brands add lactose or milk powder to their products and even dark chocolate could be contaminated from being produced on the same line as milk chocolate.)

I'm just really glad this is a two-week try-out. And that I'm not allergic to milk because I'd probably be dead by now if I were... Between my love for goat cheese and my addiction to chocolate, I put up with a fair amount of discomfort to satisfy my cravings.

That's going to be the hard part. That and remembering to read the ingredients in everything, including sauces used for marinades. If I weren't focusing on finishing a paper (and then 2 group papers and a conference presentation), I wouldn't mind the extra time commitment that this diet demands. If I wasn't a mono-dweller, I'd also find it easier to manage. But cooking for one or two requires a whole lot of portion planning and, as I've re-discovered this past week, a lot of my fresh ingredients tend to go to waste simply because can't use them up fast enough. I try to limit my shopping trips since I don't have a car but I was considering not buying fresh until I had more time to plan my meals. Throwing away rotten ingredients is not something I'm proud of, especially when so many people around the world are literally dying for a bit of that food. Plus, it's expensive.

Needless to say, the next two days will be a roller-coaster. So far, the craziest thing I've done is squirted Nesquik into my mouth to try to squash a particularly poignant unrelenting chocolate craving. Since I don't drink tea or coffee, chocolate is my main source of caffeine, not to mention its excellent comforting capacities. I guess I'll be making a lot more herbal tea in the next 14 days! Only time will tell if these sacrifices were worth it!

And then, regardless of results, I have to find a way to break it to my doctor. Wish me luck!

On grieving

2011-05-01T11:13:00.006-04:00

It surprises me that I still grieve for my friend's mom. Sure, we had a close relationship at one time, but not in the past few years. Kristin Walker passed away one week ago, peacefully, surrounded by 15 family members in a palliative care unit. After her third (I think?) bout with breast cancer, she couldn't fight anymore. It had metastesized over the years, slowly attacking her major organs. Liver. Lungs. Brain. One by one, they fell.

Kristin was more than my friend's mom. She was my ex-boyfriend's mom, and so, a surrogate mom for me, at one point in my life. I spent a considerable amount of time in her home and knew her family and loved ones very well. At one point, they were my friends and family too. In her last week, they tried to contact me. My Facebook issues made that very difficult. My ex, as usual, was not very forthcoming with information. To be fair, he had other things on his mind. He emailed me with the news on Sunday. His family didn't know I had finally been reached.

I should have known something was going on. I should have trusted my instincts. In the past few weeks, I kept feeling like I should call him, or at least text or email to see what was going on in his life. I kept putting it off. I dread awkward conversations. Many do. But I should have known. I should have listened to my pestering inner voice instead of not so subconsciously forgetting to follow through.

I wish I had gotten to say goodbye. It pains me to know that I was wanted and couldn't be there. Especially since I was only 20 minutes away by car, having gone home for an Easter visit. I wish I had known. I wish I could have wordlessly touched her hand and transferred some of my positive energy to her. Just in case it would have made a difference.

The funny thing is that I had been thinking of her all weekend. The first time I met Kristin was at a family Easter brunch. My first encounter with the Walkers. I remember it well. I remember the exact table we sat at in the restaurant, the way she looked at me. I remember her hair. I remember stressing over what to wear. I remember what I wore and I remember the warmth. The funny thing is that memory kept coming back to me. Now Easter will always be a time to remember her, even moreso than before.

I wish I could have stayed for the funeral. I wish I could have been at the wake. Because of the distance, I couldn't even bake. I ordered from a local bakery and a nearby friend - an angel - delivered them instead. She described Kristin's mom's reaction to me later over Twitter. No one should have to bury their child, no matter how young or how old. That's not the way life's energy is supposed to flow. We're supposed to grow.

It all comes back to the same place, I suppose. Kristin's life impacted that of everyone she encountered. That's just the way she was. She was a wild spirit and though everyone has their faults, she was rarely malicious. Manipulative, perhaps, but all strong spirits are. That's what makes them so feisty, so full of fire. That's what makes them who they are.

It's fitting that Kristin's wake should have taken place on the day of the Royal Wedding. She would have loved to watch it, in her pyjamas in her living room, or perhaps even in bed. She probably would have called a bunch of her friends as she watched. Gossiping. Gasping. Giggling.

Instead, all her friends came to watch her. At least she isn't suffering anymore, that much we know. At least she's not worrying anymore, she doesn't have to know. It was her time to go. And in a few weeks, we will party in her honour once more, celebrating her life, marking her death, and sharing memories that will help her live on forever in our hearts, in our heads.

Kristin, you were loved. And you will be missed.

On birthdays

2011-04-10T12:25:00.002-04:00

It's my birthday today!

On Facebook, when it's your birthday, you are showered with wishes from just about everyone on your contact list. That's a whole lot of email notifications.

This year, I'm not on Facebook (not by choice). Yet, I have been feeling just as much love, if not more. Why? My Twitter friends, upon learning of my date of birth - since Twitter doesn't tell everyone it's your birthday, you have to mention it first! - have been sending birthday wishes my way. And I am basking in the love.

I feel so incredibly blessed to be who I am, where I am, and have the love and friendship (and even acquaintanceship!) of so many wonderful people. It's a beautiful day and my school work is slowly but surely progressing. I have a follow up doctor's appointment this week to deal with my recent health issues. And I'm having a birthday bash next weekend, when my current school deadlines are more or less taken care of. How can I not be happy?!

It's easy to be critical of our selves and overanalyse every little action we take, whether its consequences are positive or negative. It's easy to feel bummed or frustrated or nostalgic - and I've felt all three this week. And that's okay! It's okay to feel under the weather. It's hard work to turn it around and smile instead of frown. My life philosophy of finding the positive in even the little things - like the sun shining - makes that task a whole lot more enjoyable.

I am thankful for all my experiences so far, and for those to come, because I know that, good or bad, they will make me a better person. And isn't that the point of life? To grow, develop and flow into a "better" person? It's not about the accumulation of wealth or stuff - though I do love my "things" and would be devastated if I lost the most precious of them. Still, I am aware that these are luxuries. Yes, even my comfy walkable boots.

So today, to celebrate the date of my birth, I have a simple request. Please, take any money you would spend on a present for me and donate it to someone who needs it a whole lot more than me. By contributing to the World Partnership Walk, you are helping me bring the hope and joy that fills my life to little boys and girls (and older ones too!) across the world. On June 12, 2011, I will walk in Major's Hill Park in Ottawa to symbolically represent the work that some of the poorest people in the world need to do daily, all day, just to be able to do the things I take for granted, like having a sip of water or opening the fridge door and finding it full of ingredients. Or turning up the heat when it gets cold at night, or the AC when it gets too hot in the summer.

So please, instead of treating me for my Birthday, let's put an end to global poverty together. That would be the best present ever. Click here to sponsor me for the World Partnership Walk, join my team by registering here, or create your own fundraising team here!

If you haven't heard me talk about the Walk before, you can read some of my blog posts on the subject here and here, and read up about Aga Khan Foundation Canada, the non-profit non-denominational organization behind the cross-cutting programmes that 100% of the money you donate will fund. Discover why the World Partnership Walk is more than a cause, and then gather your pennies, loonies, or $100 bills and make me the happiest girl in the whole world today: http://www.akfcnetcommunity.ca/netcommunity/NailaJ

On my (disabled) Facebook account #FacebookUnfairToNailaJ

2011-04-01T15:30:00.005-04:00

As you may or may not have noticed, I am no longer on Facebook. This was not my decision.

Sometime between 2am and 10am on Monday, March 28, 2011, Facebook disabled my account. I'm still not sure why or how or when this happened, since I didn't get a warning or even a notification of any kind. Instead, on Monday morning, when I tried to log-in to my account, I was met with this message:

Account Disabled
Your account has been disabled. If you have any questions or concerns, you can visit our FAQ page here.

Ironically, the "here" link wasn't actually working, so I painstakingly navigated to this page, which told me:

Disabled - Ineligible
Upon investigation, we have determined that you are ineligible to use Facebook. Unfortunately, for safety and security reasons, we cannot provide additional information as to why your account was disabled. This decision is final.

Sounds ominous, doesn't it? I'm not quite sure how I was ineligible to use Facebook. I'm over the age of 13, I hadn't posted any spam or scam links (not even the "Sports commentator shows her boobs on TV" virus video that had been going around). I don't have a fake account, or multiple accounts, or a business account as a personal profile. I hadn't done anything different than I usually do, so none of the reasons Facebook Help pointed me to apply. And it's not like I had received any "warnings" from Facebook prior to my account being disabled, which apparently means that it was a "severe" security violation, according to this.

Finally, I found this disabled report form which I only knew to look for because I pay attention to these things. Did I mention I always read the terms and conditions for websites like these? I'm one of the few people I know who is actually fully aware of all the clauses in my insurance policies. I filled out and sent the form on Monday around noon, which is also about when I replied to their "confirm your identity" email, which told me that my case would be put in a queue and there was nothing I could do but wait. Fine.

Let me point out that I am an ideal Facebook user. If you're one of my Facebook friends, you know this to be true. I post a lot, encourage people to sign up or direct them to little-used features, and I report spammers and abusers. My career path involves using social networking so I'm all over the new tools and trends. Well, except Facebook Pages because I'd rather not get robbed while I'm out on the town. I'm the main administrator for the "Fans of Wil Wheaton" group, for which I received an unofficial stamp of approval from Wil Wheaton himself. I am also an admin on the World Partnership Walk Ottawa fan page and on the Macdonald Festival fan page. None of this is illegal, according to Facebook's Statement of Rights and Responsibilities. Go ahead. Skim through it. I haven't violated any clauses.

Unless someone (or several people) reported me for spam or abuse (multiple times), I'm not quite sure how my account was flagged or why. Even then, reporting my account would be an act of malice and cyberbullying, which, according to Facebook's own policies, should have that user banned from using the site.

It's been 5 days. So far, I have not received any form of personalised communication from Facebook. In fact, other than the "please confirm your identity" email, I haven't heard a single thing from Facebook. Zero. Nada. Zilch. In the mean time, I'm barred from starting a new account because that would be a violation of Facebook's policies. Meanwhile, I can't do my job, do my volunteer work, and even, in some cases, my school work (where I use my Facebook account to "connect" with other online tools to access their information). Plus, multi-tasking with Facebook helps me clear my head when I'm dealing with complex ideas during my researching and writing process. As a result, I have been LESS productive during this busy time than I would have had my Facebook account still been active.

In order to try to expedite the process, I sent in the "disabled by error" form once more yesterday, filling in the content box with an abridged version of the information I've presented here. I also pointed them to #FacebookUnfairToNailaJ, a clever idea from @tfromdtown, who suggested I get everyone I know to trend that hashtag. That hasn't quite happened but several people in my Twitter network have been using the tag to express their concern or discontent at my profile still being disabled, and, worse, still not knowing why and when I can get it back.

Some examples:

@charlesjbarry: @NailaJ I was wondering why you unfriended me.
http://twitter.com/charlesjbarry/status/52769453997436928

@EastCoastKnits: Keep checking to see if @NailaJ is back on Facebook yet. Nope. #FacebookUnfairToNailaJ
http://twitter.com/EastCoastKnits/statuses/53581074462289920

@ToulasTake: @NailaJ WHAT?? You should create a #FacebookUnfairToNailaJgroup and ask ppl to join!! Oh, wait. You don't have a FB account. ;) #ISoSuck
http://twitter.com/ToulasTake/statuses/53305936877592576

Clearly, the impact of my account being disabled reaches beyond just me. I have effectively been disconnected from family members on the other side of the world because I never bothered to get an updated email address - we were Facebook friends. They can no longer reach me either. And on a local level, I can no longer interact with certain Kingston-area businesses whose main web presence is on Facebook. I can't check to see if my friend got the birthday card I sent her. I can't even wish a Happy Birthday to some of my friends and family. And when my birthday rolls around next week, they won't be able to send me their wishes either. I don't even know how many people will actually be showing up to my birthday dinner because by disabling my account, Facebook also disabled my event, which means my friends haven't been able to adjust their RSVPs (as I have been repeatedly reminded) and I can't make proper reservations.

Yes, it is sad, to a certain extent, that I have come to depend so much on Facebook. The good news is, I'm not the only one. The bad news is, without a Facebook account, you are very much excluded from life in 2011. What frustrates me the most, though, is that I haven't gotten even a hint of a response from Facebook and there is no other way to contact them. I'm in social media limbo and I am powerless to do anything to get myself out of it.

A Twitter friend mentioned that this happened to her in the fall and her account was restored in 3 days. Well, Facebook, it's been 5 days. I'm waiting.

On spreading hope

2011-03-11T13:31:00.004-05:00

Every year, I write a few blog posts about fundraising for the World Partnership Walk. I mention that it's Canada's largest annual event to raise funds and awareness to fight global poverty, and that the Walk is almost entirely organized by volunteers in 10 cities across Canada. And I'm always sure to include my favourite statistic - 100% of the funds raised go directly to fund long-term sustainable international development initiatives that help people help themselves.

Run by Aga Khan Foundation Canada through Aga Khan Development Network, a non-denominational, not-for-profit international agency, the projects promote cross-cutting social development to help improve the quality of life of some of the poorest people in the world by empowering them to identify and implement their own solutions. The programmes focus on health, education, rural development, and building the capacity of local communities and civil societies. They also always take into account gender equity and environmental concerns.

What does this mean? It means that villagers are provided with the human and material resources they need to get started on bettering their own lives, whatever that means to them. They take social and emotional ownership of the projects, and their investment on these levels means that they're truly committed to making it work. Even better? These projects spread hope not only in that village but in neighbouring villages as well, since the education and experience is easily transferred to others in similar contexts.

Plus, support garnered through the World Partnership Walk helps AKFC leverage the funds we raise. In fact, the Canadian International Development Agency matches funds raised for these projects, from 1 to 9 times. Last year, the average matching factor was of 4, which means that the $2,000 you helped me raised actually became $8,000. In a time where money is increasingly tight, this means a lot. Not just to me, but to the communities we're helping on the other side of the world. To the elders, parents, and children whose faces I personally saw filled with hope when I visited some of AKFC's projects in Kenya in 2009.

So where does that leave us? As our income is increasingly not earning us as much as it used to, it would be understandable for us to keep our money close and wallets closed. Food prices are hitting record highs across the world and Canadians won't be immune to the hikes. And that's not the only thing costing us more! If you pay energy bills, you probably noticed that your power and utilities costs have gone up too - look for increases of 3.5% per year over the next 20 years in Ontario. That's 7.9% per year in the next five years alone.

No matter how little you consume, that hurts. Every single one of us is undeniably feeling the pinch.

So just imagine how deeply despairing this pinch would be if you lived in the developing world. That's not to say that there aren't locals who are in situations that seem just as desperate. But when you can't even depend on existing infrastructure, socialist government programmes, or even the relative stability of your immediate environment, how are you supposed to get started on changing your life situation? There are no resources for you to access, in many cases, or if there are, you're probably physically unable to access them or blocked by corrupt practices. Rising costs affect us all, but at least we North Americans have the means to change our way of life to reduce their impact.

I don't like feeling like my situation is hopeless. I don't think anyone does. So please, help me raise funds for the 2011 World Partnership Walk so we can spread hope. Remember, we're all living on the same planet. Events taking place across the globe affect us more than we know, as the current food crisis shows. By sparking change at home, we can help enable change that matters in developing countries too. Together, I truly believe that we can put an end to world poverty, but it'll take time and we need to commit to change now.

You can help change the world by sponsoring me for the Walk here:
http://www.akfcnetcommunity.ca/netcommunity/NailaJ.

You can also register to raise funds here, or join the Kingston Hope-raisers team and start giving back to the global community.

And join me on Sunday, June 12, 2011 at Major's Hill Park in Ottawa for the 27th annual World Partnership Walk.

PS: You can now find the Ottawa World Partnership Walk on Twitter: @WPWOttawa. Make sure to tag all your 2011 Walk tweets with #wpw27. "Like" the World Partnership Walk Ottawa fan page on Facebook and don't forget to RSVP on the event page. Hope to see you there!

On Reading Week

2011-02-25T13:55:00.002-05:00

Good news, everyone!

Reading Break has left me feeling more calm and collected than I have in months! And this more relaxed "ME" comes at the right time since March is going to be an absolute whirlwind of school writing, class presentations and paper drafting. Upcoming deadlines include leading a class discussion on March 3, and a research summary due on the same day, a class presentation on March 14, a first draft of a paper due on March 30 and another due on March 31.

And then in April, I've got papers due on April 8, April 11, and mid-month (flexible deadline). In other words, except for coming up for occasional breaths of fresh air, don't expect to see me out and about until past my birthday. At least the whole "Well, I've got to eat at some point!" reasoning will come in handy in terms of scheduling compulsory breaks. That and the aquafit classes that I've built-in to my schedule.

Thankfully, this past week has allowed to me get a good chunk of everyday class work and advance research and sourcing done before the deadline crunch really hits me. Surprisingly, instead of getting increasingly stressed as time went by and I wasn't able to meet my stringent self-imposed deadlines, I actually felt myself relaxing. How can I tell? Well, my chronic wrist pain has mostly dissipated and my posture feels less tense, despite basically sitting all week.

There are two or three events that I've committed to, despite my heavy schedule, and I'm sure they will be welcome distractions - and good for forcing me to get work done under pressure. Apart from an upcoming quickie Toronto weekend with the family, I'm also heading back to Montreal to catch a Habs game in March. Plus, there's the Limestone New Media Group meetup in March at my favourite Kingston restaurant, The Tango that I will most certainly be attending, provided I don't have a deadline the next day. The lovely group of people who actively participate in @lnmg activities have become my core of friends in this city, and I absolutely love them. Can't leave them hanging, now can I?

And on that note, back to class-assigned readings and longing for the summer months, when I will be able to expand my "currently reading" bookshelf to include non-academic literature. The sunshine and springtime can't come soon enough!

On raising funds for the World Partnership Walk

2011-02-16T12:19:00.000-05:00

This year again, I am raising funds for the 27th World Partnership Walk, Canada's largest annual event dedicated to fighting poverty. In the past few years, I have been involved with the Walk at an intimate level, leading the Media and Marketing campaign for the Montreal region, helping to create a uniform social media strategy, and best of all, getting to see the impact of our work for myself during my Awareness Trip to Africa in 2009 with Aga Khan Foundation Canada (AKFC).

It was my heavy involvement with this not-for-profit organization that earned me an invitation to Kenya in the summer of 2009. Of course, I paid for all of my own expenses. This trip was an eye-opener for me because AKFC brought us behind-the-scenes, to the grassroots level, to see where the money goes and how much our little efforts can accomplish. It was during this trip that I truly understood, for the first time, that marginalized populations are just like us. We all have the same hopes and dreams, for ourselves and our children. We're all striving to make a better world, not just for us but for the whole world.

But why raise funds to eliminate world poverty? It seems like a pretty elitist goal, doesn't it? I mean, it's not like the world is actually ever going to change, is it?

I think that recent developments in Egypt prove that change is possible, as long as we, as a worldwide collective, as determined, passionate and patient. Change doesn't happen overnight, though, and one of the first steps to sparking change is creating awareness.

That's why although I have moved to Kingston, my involvement with the Walk has not ended. Kingston falls under the umbrella of the Ottawa Walk, and I will be the acting as a regional manager of sorts for the area. That means I will be reaching out to all of my new Ktown friends to help me raise funds and spread the word about this awesome event and the projects it enables. I have also set my personal fundraising goal for 2011 at $2,500. You can contribute any time at http://www.akfcnetcommunity.ca/netcommunity/NailaJ.

What makes the World Partnership Walk - and AKFC - such a stellar cause? 100% of the funds raised through the Walk go directly to international development projects that help people help themselves through long-term sustainable solutions in education, health, sanitation, culture, community strengthening, the environment, gender issues... and more. The Foundation's multi-pronged approach aims to enhance the quality of life of some of the poorest people in the world in cross-cutting ways, and that's what I love about it.

It doesn't give a man a fish, to use the popular cliché. It teaches him, his family, and his whole community to fish, then offers him or her a microfinance loan and professional resources so he can learn how to sell that fish to nearby villages and then teach them to do the same.

Change happens one step at time, but we all have to march together. It takes time and commitment, from both internal and external players. And it takes a certain kind of will to see a project of change through until the end. I truly believe that, as I have seen with my own eyes, the World Partnership Walk has the right techniques, the proper resources and the benefit of a long-term approach to make it all work.

And how do I know that? Because its projects put smiles on the faces of little boys and girls in Asia and in Africa. Because that boy in the picture is able to go to a rural school every day without worrying how his family will survive if he doesn't work the fields all day. And his sisters in urban areas can daydream about being doctors and teachers during class instead of wondering if they will be harassed by sugar daddys or rapists on their walk home. Because their parents feel secure in the knowledge that their children will be better off than they are. That they will never have to worry about food, safety, or having a preventable illness.

Raising funds for the World Partnership Walk means allowing these children to BE just that: children. Together, we can change the world and make that dream a reality. Together, we can take steps to end global poverty. Won't you walk with me?

The 27th World Partnership Walk will be taking place in 10 cities across Canada for three consecutive weekends, starting on May 29, 2011. Join me at Major's Hill Park in Ottawa on Sunday, June 12, 2011 and be part of the over 40,000 Canadians raising more than $6 million towards eliminating global poverty.

And meanwhile, get involved! Spread the word, start your own team at WorldPartnershipWalk.com, or simply contribute to the cause by sponsoring me to walk by clicking here. Thank you for helping me make the world a better place, one step at a time.

On love

2011-02-14T09:54:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago, I stumbled upon the TV show "Double Exposure". It's about two world-renown fashion photographers who dysfunctionally work together even though they're no longer romantically involved. As you can expect, there are quite a few heated discussions. Still, these two obviously love each other. In fact, in this episode, Indrani tells her former lover, Markus Klinko:

"I love you too much to be in a relationship with you."

This sentiment especially resonated with me. Take a moment to think about it. It's one of those "so true" statements. And it got me thinking... in this context, what is love? How do you differentiate love that feels like a relationship but isn't?

Over the next few days, I pondered this question. It wasn't an active thought-process but something that popped into my head every now and then. So, without further ado, here are some of the reflections that came to me in my meditation:

LOVE

♥ does not need to be defined to be true

♥ waits for you to open your heart to it

♥ teaches you to let go & live

♥ is the fire that ignites your dreams & fills you with hope

♥ lights up your heart & everything around you

♥ makes you SMILE!

Hope your hearts are full of love today and all year long.

♥

On portfolios

2011-02-03T09:21:00.000-05:00

Not only did I finish re-working my CV/Resume this weekend, I also (finally) put my extended demo reel up on YouTube.

This is the demo I created just over a year ago as I was applying to certain journalism jobs. I had just discovered that my external hard drive, which I thought was safely in a friend's possession, had been stolen when her apartment was broken in to about a year before that. That hard drive not only contained my only high-quality copies of all the broadcast work I had done throughout school, it also had all the raw import footage I had captured. The plan, of course, was that some of this raw footage could be re-purposed for other works, like, for example, a demo reel.

Working under a time crunch, I found the next best thing. Our TV shows were consistently uploaded to YouTube by the department, so I entrepreneurially downloaded the pre-edited, pre-produced footage of each and every published show I had worked on and tried to make that work.

The end result, if I do say so myself, is pretty good! For my techies out there, the pre-packaged footage was shot on PD-170s (SD) and edited with Final Cut Pro. The demo reel itself was edited using Adobe Premiere. Any and all feedback is appreciated.

Enjoy!!

On marketing yourself

2011-01-28T12:01:00.004-05:00

Perhaps it's because of my upbringing and personal values, but I've always found it hard to market myself. Most of the time, I can't even accept compliments. This built-in humility isn't really the best personality trait for someone attempting to build their personal brand.

Like many other marketers, I just can't seem to transfer my professional skills to my personal life, in this sense. Selling myself, and learning to accept that it's a necessary strategy for someone searching to build a career in online media, marketing and branding has been a rough road. Still, I'm making small strides. This blog is one of them. Better managing my Twitter account is another. And I've recently started re-organizing my professional profiles, from private professional networks to updating my LinkedIn profile to creating this cute little Bit.ly bundle that combines all my major online presences on one page.

And today, I will be taking the last step on my to-do list: completely revamping my CV.

It's a task that's making me feel apprehensive because I'm nervous about settling on one path for my future. I know that several people have more than one CV or CV type to reflect their different career goals, but I've never been the kind of person to fragment my personality. When you talk to me, you get it all, not just pieces. Yes, we all filter our conversations based on whom we're conversing with, but I don't hide a part of myself like a secret that cannot be revealed. If it comes up, I'm usually pretty open with discussing pretty much anything. This is probably why I'm having a hard time attempting to split my personality on paper.

More importantly, it's quite nerve-racking to settle on one career goal when I have so many interests and avenues left to explore. Do I move away from TV and commit to PR/Media Relations? Do I focus on communications at a corporate level? What of my interest in social media managing and online marketing strategies? Even sticking to sports as my field of choice is a bit of a struggle since I am very much interested in not-for-profit organisations, military and defence systems, and government work in general. So how do I reconcile all these interests? I'm pretty sure I don't have a choice but to filter my presentation of myself and my skills in order to best benefit myself. To borrow from Foucault, I should use technologies of the self to better myself and maximise my future life opportunities.

And speaking of Foucault, I finally created a SlideShare account in order to most effectively share my work without clogging the blog. So for those who were interested in reading my paper on Foucauldian interpretations of the changing power relations in the NHL when its athletes take to Twitter, the wait is over! Without further ado, I am proud to present... *drum roll* "Rinkside Tweeting" available in its entirety online for optimal sharing (and branding!).

Because, as someone whose future lies in creative outlets, I (now) understand the importance of sharing my work with others. It's not about compliments, though constructive feedback is always appreciated. Like digital branding guru Mitch Joel, I am an introvert. So for me, it's about building my personal and professional confidence while sharing the knowledge I have acquired. It's about making a contribution to the world and knowing that I've done all I can to help others open their minds to new worldviews and ideas.

And who knows? Maybe that's what my CV should reflect. My desire to contribute to the world, no matter which professional path I choose to follow. It'll still require some trimming and fine-tuning, but by focusing on my skills and contributions rather than job titles, perhaps I can discover a new path to a fully fulfilling future. Only time will tell!

Stay tuned...

On writing

2011-01-23T12:34:00.005-05:00

So far, the New Year has been full of school work and writing. The paper I was working on for my class last semester went from having a personal deadline of Christmas to January 5th to "before classes start" to finally being finished late last week. Needless to say, with all the work assigned for my classes this semester, I've been more than a little overloaded!

I'm proud to say that my paper just needs a quick edit/revision before I can submit it by email. Plus, I presented it yesterday at Queen's University's 9th annual Macintosh Conference and it got really great feedback. Of course, trimming and turning 28 double-spaced pages of Foucauldian interpretations of the changing power relations in the NHL once players tweet into a 20-minute power point presentation that still covers most of the complex information is a hard feat. It's why the past few weeks have been full of 4am bedtimes and 8:30am wakeup calls. In other words, I've been super tired, super overworked and super brain hurt stressed.

The good news is I've been building in sports, entertainment and BALANCE into my schedule. Instead of sitting around on the couch at home for a few hours waiting for my procrastination to fade and inspiration to strike, I'm being active and sometimes even proactive and going to yoga or aquafit or a play, and working in a coffee shop or pub instead. Surprisingly, this low-pressure approach is actually working out quite well, possibly because the time remaining to get my work done is shorter. In other words, the productivity I gain from impending deadlines is enhanced. Meanwhile, my body feels great, my heart and soul feel fulfilled and life is beautiful! Even my wacky sleep patterns haven't left me feeling too tired. The last time I slept 4 hours, I felt great going to bed late and pretty good waking up too!

All in all, it's a win-win situation. I am glad, however, that this paper is done so my life can get back into a respectable routine, one where work and play and chores are balanced, instead of waiting until I run out of utensils to do the dishes and sleep 4 hours a night so I can get through all my homework.

And speaking of homework, back to class readings I go!

Stay tuned...

On Looking Back

2010-12-31T12:16:00.009-05:00

I'm not much for looking back. Don't get me wrong, I'm one of the first to jump on Facebook memes like "My Year in Status" but in general, I find that it is more useful to look forward in life. Still, it's important to look back every now and then, whether it's on the first day of spring, on your birthday, at the end of the academic or calendar years, or even at Thanksgiving.

The point of looking back is not to re-live the good times and get down on the bad ones. For me, it's an opportunity to learn from past experiences and be thankful for all the progress I've made, to see how far I've come and where I now stand on the path (or new path?) that will lead me to my goals - and my future - whatever they may be. Whether or not you believe in destiny, I think we can all agree that every now and then, it's good to take stock.

So what tools have I added to my trusty toolbox of life skills in 2010?

Patience. Accepting that some things will never change. Spontaneity. Letting go and learning to truly relax. Venting in private. Trusting my instincts, even when they're saying things I don't want to hear, let alone believe. Rekindled family relations. ENJOYING life, and each and every moment in it, without over-thinking and stressing out over everything's significance.

Quite honestly, I'm still working on fine-tuning a lot of those skills. But I'm getting much better at being a better person, and at being the bigger person.

This past year, I volunteered at the 2010 Winter Olympic Games in Vancouver and Whistler. I finally met my Irish aunt, who has become one of my dearest family members, and my cousins too!

I went to Cuba for the first time. In fact, that's where I rang in the new year, by the ocean.

I did excellent work for an ethical and needy cause by providing media services (and so much more!) as part of the World Partnership Walk organizing committee in Montreal.

I rediscovered nature: oceans and forests, animals and snow, through travel and sport. I had a wonderful time with the outdoors this year and hope to spend even more time enjoying it in 2011.

I visited Kingston, then moved to Kingston upon being accepted into the Socio-Cultural Studies of Sport programme at Queen's University.

I worked for new clients, made new contacts, and learned a lot more about the world of live sports and broadcast production. I also made some great new friends in the industry.

I translated some very interesting museum exhibitions - and forgot to visit the finished product, every time.

I was in Toronto for G20 madness and a wedding, one of many weddings I attended that summer.

I saw friends and friends of friends get engaged, married, and have babies. Not necessarily in that order, and not necessarily the same friends. Many of my friends also started cool new jobs. It was an emotional struggle for me to balance my happiness and excitement for them with my irrational jealousy and "want".

I did a whole lot more reading, at first for pleasure and then for business. Or rather, for school. I hope that 2011 will bring more balance in this area - I would really like to get back to reading for fun!

I went to my first academic conference in a while - and my first as an attendee, rather than as a reporter. NASSS was a wonderful intellectual experience and I learned a lot from it.

In fact, in 2010, I learned a lot about myself, from optimal study habits, to spending habits, to TV-watching habits, to my friend-making habits. And possibly, the most important thing I learned is that "friendship" means different things to different people, and that once you figure out what kind of friendship you have, you can manage expectations and figure out exactly how much to invest in it so you don't get hurt.

Still, I learned that it is important to take (moderate) risks in life or you won't reach the targets you set for yourself.

In 2011, I vow to take more of those moderate risks, to be more proactive, and to stop trying to figure out my life, what things mean, and why certain things happen and just live. I will keep trying to be more patient and will accept that there are some things I can't change, at least not by attacking them head on.

In other words, I will continue to live my life and let my experiences guide the person I should become. I will take care of myself, body, mind and spirit, so I can thrive in this world, no matter where it takes me. I will not make a New Year's Resolution, but I will keep this promise to myself:

No matter what happens, doors will close. But don't despair! In time, another will open. It's up to me to find it and decide whether or not to go through it. But through it all, I will stay "me".

This mantra of sorts has become my new unspoken philosophy in life. It's time to face up, face the facts, and roll with it. Life will take care of itself as long as you try your best to be the best that you can be.

May this lesson from 2010 guide me into 2011. And may it be another blessed year full of life and love, for me and for you.

Happy New Year to all! :)

On the spirit of the season

2010-12-23T14:56:00.010-05:00

Christmas time and the winter holidays are often said to be full of seasonal glee and spirit. The spirit of giving, that is. Between buying and receiving presents, making charitable donations, and spreading Christmas cheer, we're all supposed to feel merry and bright. But has the spirit of the season become yet another consumerist trend?

A few days ago, I saw someone post on Twitter that in the spirit of the season, he/she had picked up some trash on the street. Maybe it's just me, but I think a responsible citizen who cares about his or her neighbourhood should beautify it all the time. I also think he or she shouldn't pollute it in the first place, but that's another story entirely.

That's my issue with Christmas spirit. Shouldn't we be nice every day? Shouldn't we give generously to less fortunate people all year 'round? And quite honestly, shouldn't we not give presents out of obligation but rather out of love? Just because it's that time of the year, and especially if the recipient doesn't need or want anything in particular, why go crazy running around in malls? It seems even more ridiculous when the effort of finding the right present and the act of giving it with all the best intentions is not appreciated by the recipient. Why bother? Isn't giving all about seeing the warm glow of appreciation, excitement and thankfulness on that person's face when they discover the nature of the present?

When I am a parent, I will make sure that my children understand the values of being thankful and appreciative, of giving to people in need, and that the accumulation of things isn't the key to being happy and successful. On special occasions, my children will receive several presents, all for things they need or want and that are reasonably priced and appropriate for their age. Then, they will have to choose one of their new presents and personally donate it to someone who needs it more than they do, whether it's a friend who can't afford that gift or someone less fortunate than them whom they may not know personally, but who will greatly benefit from their new gift. Humility needs to be taught.

It is perhaps the value which we have abandoned the most in today's society. Charitable donations are down, both in amount and number, and people are increasingly selfish. They think they are in need, but in reality, most of them are just in want. While we lament about our first world problems, there are people less than a 30-minute drive away who are starving, who truly can't afford to live. They're striving to simply survive. And I don't mean that they can't afford to pay rent because they go out to dinner twice a week. I mean that they live paycheck-to-paycheck and do groceries at the Dollar Store. These are people we cross in the street every day and barely notice as different. Some of these people might work with you or serve you coffee every morning. Do you think they only deserve cheer at Christmas time? Do you, for that matter?

Love, compassion and sharing shouldn't be restricted to certain periods of the year. It should be ingrained in our personalities. It should be in our nature. After all, it's only human to care. So this year, my Christmas wish is that we spread holiday spirit all throughout the year. Making someone happy is possibly the best present you can ever give, wouldn't you say?

On December

2010-12-18T09:48:00.001-05:00

Wow. Has it really been that long?

December has been a bit of a whirlwind so far. I can't believe we're already less than a week away from Christmas! Soon, I'll be going home for the holidays. But it won't be a vacation!

Thankfully, I finally finished grading all of my assigned section of the final exam for the class I was TA-ing this semester. It was interesting, and I probably know all the right answers by heart now, but it was a rough ride as well. It broke my heart to deduct points from students who had nearly perfect answers, filled with more information than necessary - showing that they did understand the material - but, unfortunately, forgot to mention one crucial aspect of the answer. For example, that a diagnostic tool in determining drug and alcohol addiction focuses on both physical and psychological factors, or that a treatment addresses attitude and behaviour. I also had to give a few "0" but for those, it really wasn't my fault... I just couldn't justify giving any points!

These second year students also had serious grammatical, sentence structure, and subject-verb agreement issues. My biggest pet peeve for this round of grading? Affect vs. effect. It's really not that hard. I mean, there's even an Oatmeal poster about it! Print it out and hang it across from your desk! There were a few other glaring errors that popped up repeatedly - surprisingly not its/it's or there/their too often - but that one was surely the most annoying one, especially considering the subject matter: The effect of drugs and alcohol and how they affect our overall health.

This afternoon, once I had handed those exams back to the professor, I felt light as a feather and free as air! But unfortunately, it's not all fun and games from here! I've got my first graduate-level paper due... whenever. Sometime before I graduate. Preferably by the end of this academic year. Surprisingly (to me), paper deadlines seem to be pretty relaxed at this level. Still, I have a very busy semester this Winter (2.5 classes + TAing a tutorial + a conference), so I'm planning on getting mine done before next semester starts. I've already compiled a list of readings relating to Michel Foucault's interpretations of power - especially in the later years - and am planning on relating that concept to athletes who tweet. Who really holds the power in that situation, I ask?

I've already done a decent amount of reading, but there's still a lot left to explore. I've indexed it all, and I, in theory, know exactly how much work I have left to do. The trouble is getting through it all. After sitting on the couch for a full day reading heavy theory and its mostly political applications rather than the sports ones I'm looking for, you tend to have a hard time focusing. Your brain gets all mumbled and jumbled and you forget what you're actually thinking about and nothing makes sense anymore. Even after a few breaks, it still feels all confused. The trick is realising that it's really not that big a deal, or that important a concept, and letting it slide through you and hoping it'll absorb through osmosis. Once you hit that wall and remember to pull back from the subject matter you're examining, it actually does start to make some kind of sense, I find. Hopefully, the notes I'm taking aren't too much copy-pasting to be particularly relevant, and re-reading them at the end of my research process will give me a good recap of the situation.

My Christmas vacation, therefore, will not be much of a vacation at all. I'll take some time to relax, take in the joys of the season and spend time with my family. But mostly, I will be sitting on the couch, reading about Foucault and power, before coming home to write my paper and handing it in a good 5 days before the Winter semester starts.

Well, that's the plan, at least.

On taking the time to go out

2010-11-25T12:20:00.003-05:00

Most college students don't have issues taking the time to go out and have fun. It's right there at the top of their to-do list, between finding money for rent and trying not to fail out of school.

For me, it's not so easy. Those who know me well know that I'm a 40-year old trapped in a young adult's body. In other words, I'm a serious one. I focus on school work and work work and procrastinating against house work. To be fair, I'm also pretty lazy about actually leaving the house - especially if it involves walking in the cold or at night. Plus, although I'm a late sleeper and riser, I'm very much a homebody. I may not go to bed for 4 hours, but ideally, I like being home by 10 PM. Told you I was an old soul!

All of this to say that I haven't really been taking the time to socialise and enjoy Kingston. Ironically, I think I've seen less of my favourite spots in Kingston since I moved here than in the (total of) 3 weeks or so that I'd previously visited the city. It's sad, I know.

Part of this was getting used to a new environment and remembering all my academic studying tips. Part of it is also my cautiousness when it comes to making friends. I may appear to be an extrovert, but truly, deep down, I'm very much an introvert! And as my friend Mehnaz said so well in this post, introverts tend to be slightly invisible due to their choices. That's certainly how I've been feeling in relation to the other people in my Grad programme, though by no fault of their own! I'm just not a partygoer, and I don't spend a lot of time at school because I work better from home. Understandably, I haven't formed strong bonds with most anybody.

Last week, something changed in me. Maybe it's because I felt more at ease with my workload and the material we've been covering in class. Maybe it's because it's the end of the semester and I just needed to get out. Either way, I decided to jump feet first into socialising and attend Kingston's annual Nighttime Santa Claus Parade. There would be no excuses, even if it was going to be dark and the forecast read COLD! And boy, did I have fun! Parades are always great because you can really get into the celebration as each float goes by, and seeing the excitement in the eyes of the little kids attending really enhances the experience for me. Plus, this one was filled with Christmas cheer and pretty lights - two of my favourites, especially at this time of the year!

I had a wonderful time. To top it all off, a friend and I finally dined at The Tango Restaurant, which I've been dying to return to ever since I checked out their online menu - and their new cocktail list. The whole night sparkled with winter magic and the late walk home was refreshing and invigorating.

Last night, I continued the trend of actually enjoying myself in my town and went out with some of the girls from our programme following our bi-weekly Grad Seminar. Once again, I had a great time, full of stimulating conversation that wasn't argumentative, and laughter! This casual hanging-out made me realise the importance of spending time with others to build bonds. Facebook and school work is nice and all, but they don't spawn friendships. And how else am I going to break out of my introvert shell? My walk home was full of inner smiles and feelings of "I should do this more often."

This time, hopefully, I'll stick to that thought.

PS: Happy Thanksgiving to all my US friends!

On California and NASSS

2010-11-10T09:25:00.004-05:00

Last week, I escaped the cold winter temperatures of Kingston, ON and made my way to sunny California with a couple of school colleagues. We spent 2.5 days in Los Angeles, and stayed with my family in their gorgeous new house I'd never before seen. Located in a gated community at more or less the highest point of the San Fernando Valley, the house offered a great view of the sunrise, which I enjoyed on my full first day in LA. It was absolutely amazing to wake up with the sun, and thankfully, I could enjoy it without being completely exhausted. Yey for reverse jet lag!

Tuesday was also a full day of outlet shopping, which was both fruitful and exhausting. Also, I had an In-N-Out burger... sorta. I panicked upon hearing "Thousand Island spread" and opted for ketchup and mustard instead. To use a Twitter term, #FAIL!

On this day, I fell in love with Charlotte Russe (the store) and I'm planning on visiting the Watertown, NY location as often as I can! That night, I went out for sushi with my cousins. Instead of stuffing our respective faces with yummy raw fish rolls, we ate well and were just as full. This place was so great! In fact, we had our meal next to Nicole Richie and Rachel Zoe... You can check off "celebrity encounter" on the LA dream vacation list!

Wednesday, we did a quick Hollywood/Beverly Hills/celebrity homes tour, which was both dull and interesting. It would have been much more fun to see places where shows and movies were filmed rather than where the actors and actresses live. Or rather, the shrubbery and gates they use to keep the paparazzi out. Then, we caught the train to San Diego for the start of our NASSS (North American Society for the Sociology of Sport) experience. Fortunately, we missed the train we wanted to take and saw the sun set over the ocean on the way. Absolutely stunning!

From Thursday to Saturday, I spent most of my time doing conference stuff, from attending sessions, events, and activities to meeting and speaking with some very interesting people across the various sport studies disciplines. I was especially thankful to meet some great people in Sports Management, as well as some key names in the study of hockey. Hopefully, we will stay in touch and our relationships will be fruitful for both sides. I'm looking forward to catching up with some of them in June at the NASSM (North American Society for Sport Management) conference in London, ON.

Though our hotel was far from the main touristy areas, I did take some time to explore Old Town (though mostly at night), the Gaslamp Quarter (again, at night) and downtown/Horton Plaza, as well as the NBC building across the street, where I caught a local newscast from the studio/control room.

Yes, there was lots of shopping on this trip. I spent way too much money getting things that I've been wanting or needing for a while, like a winter jacket or that camel-coloured purse I've been searching for, as well as key basics that are impossible to find at decent prices in Canada. Needless to say, I'm really going to enjoy those Watertown shopping trips, and I'm going to take them more often than not when I'm looking for something specific and can't afford to pay out of my eyeballs for it. It doesn't help that I have issues with paying more for something than it's actually worth. It's why I have such a hard time resisting sales, like the deal I got for 2 pairs of sandals at $21 (one at $10 and one at $15 PLUS 50% off when you buy two pairs) or the JC Penney "Buy one, get one for $1" doorcrashers deal I encountered on Saturday. Simply amazing.

Even though one of my goals was to make it to the beach and swim in the ocean again, I didn't quite get to do that. I did walk briefly in the sand at Pacific Beach - so soft! - but my ocean experience was limited. Time was too short and distances were too great, though one can argue that they're much greater now. We did make it to the San Diego Zoo, however, and I spent the whole day wandering around feeling both thrilled and sad. Some of the animals I was seeing for the first time; others, like spider monkeys, are favourites I love to visit at the zoo. However, despite all its conservation efforts in the wild, the SD Zoo does a very poor job at providing adequate space for the animals to live, and I was shocked to see how little some of the mesh cages were. Because even though they didn't have solid bars, they were definitely cages. And some animals were certainly bummed by the knowledge that they couldn't thrive. It was especially noticeable in the eagles and some of the monkeys. Plus, all the big cats were pacing back and forth. This could have been feeding time anticipation, but I observed this behaviour throughout the day. It almost made me cry to see them that way. Overall, the Zoo is worth a visit, especially to see more unique animals for our climate, like the koalas and pandas, but I'm much more likely to re-visit the Toronto or Granby zoos, which at least provided ample space for the animals to flourish.

Despite a few not-so-positive experiences throughout the trip - scamming cabbie, hotel location, jet lag on the way back - the only true negative is the frustrating cab ride on our last night in San Diego, which I will not get into because I'd much rather forget it happened. No one got hurt - except for our wallets - but it was not an enjoyable experience at all. Lesson learned: triple check that the driver has understood where you want to go and is not taking you where he thinks you want to go and carry a map so you can point out that the error was much more costly than the fare originally would have been. Insert Twitter tag: #LAME!

I'm proud to say that given the relatively low cost of flying to California from Syracuse Airport, I'm more likely than not to make a repeat trip in the coming years. Plus, San Diego seems like my kind of town, even if it doesn't have an NHL franchise. My NASSS experience was wonderful too, and I can't wait to (hopefully) present a paper at next year's conference in Minneapolis, Minnesota, which, by the way, is an excellent hockey town.

Stay tuned...

On calluses

2010-10-19T09:32:00.002-04:00

Ah, calluses! You build them up, you bite them off, then build them up all over again.

Of course, I'm talking about the calluses on your fingers. It's probably unsanitary to bite off the calluses on your feet, and gross too. Calluses, as you probably know, are a thickened area of skin that has become hard due to irritation or pressure or repetitive use. For example, some people get calluses on their middle fingers from writing too much - I remember those from grade school essay/exam periods! Most people get calluses on their feet: the body's attempt to prevent the formation of blisters. Athletes get calluses too - whether it's from the monkey bars in the park, rock climbing, or rowing, to name but a few.

Everyone grows calluses at some point in their life. Sometimes, you're proud of them - like when it doesn't hurt to lace up your skates anymore. Sometimes, you'd rather not have them at all - like when they're painful or turn into corns. But usually, calluses are good for you.

I've developed a set of calluses on my fingers that I'm particularly proud of. They come from playing the guitar, an exercise that I keep trying to get into but often tend to neglect when "life" happens. I'm happy to say that since living in Kingston and arguably taking on more tasks, chores and responsibilities than ever before - at least in my personal life - I have been able to find more time for guitar playing.

I have been working on my chords, on musical sequences (or as I like to call them "switching fast"), as well as on picking. The latter needs a whole lot more work. The rest is progressing nicely. Recently, I figured out that I was playing the G chord wrong. I was hitting all the right spots but found it hard to "switch" from a G to a Bm, for example. It wasn't that my finger placement was wrong, per se. It's just that in some (many) cases, there was a more optimal placement option. My version works best for G-C-D songs, and playing with simple chords that are located on the first few frets. Throw in a chord that needs to be barred, like something in the F family, and I had a hard time making the switch in time.

Still, the fact that after all these years of attempting to get better at the guitar I've finally reached this level of understanding of my playing habits makes me ecstatic. It's going to take a lot of practice to break the habit, but at least I know what I need to work on. This means that I am not only finding the time to take care of myself outside of work (and by work, I mean school work, volunteer work, household work and paid work), but also that I'm finding the time to disconnect from technology and all that it encompasses (aka the pressures of deadlines, to-do lists, and social media) and reconnecting with my artistic side, and therefore, with myself.

It's interesting how once you open the door for music or any other form of art, you see poetry all around you. Life becomes lighter and more enjoyable, and high pressure situations are no longer do-or-die. Being one with my guitar, even if it's just for one hour a week, has sprouted some hope in me. Not the kind of hope that you get from seeing everyday life as beautiful - that I get all the time. Well, most of the time.

I'm talking about the hope that comes from knowing that in that moment, when you're fully immersed in the music, even if you're focusing on playing the chord just right and remembering the right lyrics and executing it all properly... for that one moment, there is nothing that matters other than you.

Just you. There is no outside pressure, no one tugging at your shirtsleeve (not even your subconscious!) and most importantly, there is a sense of peace and acceptance that this moment is as it is and cannot be changed or controlled or extended. It is, then it was, and it never will be again... and that's not a bad thing.

I think that it's important to find the trigger for this kind of appreciation of life and the space-time continuum. (Yes, I had to make this post somewhat geeky!) When I first started approaching yoga as a combination of physical activity and mind relaxation, I would get this same sort of feeling in the middle of a particularly stretchy sequence of cat & dog (or cat & cow, if that's how you like to call it.) But after time, that disappeared.

I am delighted to have once again found a trigger for this special moment and would like to speculate that it seems to require an enlightenment of more than one function - whether it's the mind/body duality or the music/learning combination. It needs to have both a work and relaxation aspect in order to be powerful. I'm sure some of you are thinking of sex right about now, but I would encourage everyone to find their own trigger aside from sex, which, clearly, does not always leave one with the hassle-free mind we're seeking, or the world would be even more overpopulated than it already is. Find something that calms you and brings you to your sense of oneness. Embrace the moment and harvest the rewards you will get from investing time and effort into that activity, whatever it may be.

And on that note, I'm off to restore some balance into this day by playing some guitar. Burn, calluses, burn!

On life as a grad student

2010-10-01T13:36:00.002-04:00

So far, life as a grad student has been pretty good. I've gotten into a home routine that's been keeping my tummy full and my apartment pretty clean, and I'm finally over a series of sickness: allergies, ear infection, cold. It was a pretty depressing time, but at least it allowed me to get used to my environment and understand the resources I have at my disposal... Like which TV channels I get!

In terms of school itself, there's been a lot more reading than I expected. Of course, I did expect a fair amount of work, but for some reason, I thought it might be a bit more assignment-based, kind of like in undergrad programmes. The reading isn't too bad, mostly because the texts are new to me and interesting. Well, most of them. Every week, there's at least one super long, boring, overly-jargoned, hard-to-read text. And by super long, I mean at least 26 pages of photocopied left and right book pages.

Thankfully, I think I've nailed down a reading technique that works for me. First off, I work best on my couch, at home. Not at my desk or in a coffee shop, but on the couch. Go figure!! Working at the office at school is also okay, but only when I need a change of scenery. It doesn't work well on a regular basis, not because it's too loud, but because it's too quiet!

Also, I've discovered that reading off a .pdf works best, unless I'm reading directly from a book. With the .pdf, I can highlight and mark up the text without ruining it, and it's easy to refer to it later on, during class. For the class in which I have to read books, I've been using different-coloured sticky markers to save pages with important discourses on the various topics I'm tracking, and that seems to be working fairly well too. At the end of the book, reading or chapter, if it's an essay collection, I always try to write a few notes on my impressions, questions and the important lines of thinking in the text.

Overall, I think I'm doing a pretty good job at staying on top of things. My next objective is to start incorporating more physical activity in my routine, once my (new) physio clears me for some more active movements. Unfortunately, my plan to bike around town hasn't worked out so well, mostly because the main streets I need to take are pretty bumpy and therefore jarring for my knee, which then causes pain. Still, I'm hoping that I'll be able to build up my strength again so that maybe, by the winter, I'll be able to take part in some cool snow sports again.

And on that note... Time to get back to award applications and readings!

On jammed frequencies

2010-09-11T16:10:00.005-04:00

If you live in Kingston, ON and have a Bell or TELUS GSM phone, chances are you're experiencing some technical difficulties: dropped calls, failed calls, delayed text messages... I know I am.

I called in a technical ticket and should have an answer by Tuesday. Meanwhile, the problem hasn't been resolved. In fact, it may have gotten worse.

Every time I try to make a call, whether local or long distance, it fails. It'll fail five or six times before going through, and then, though I haven't moved, the call will drop after a couple of minutes of airtime. It's very tough to have a decent conversation, which is super frustrating. In fact, it totally sucks.

The TELUS rep at the store downtown was much more helpful than the 611 technicians in explaining the nature of the problem to me. It seems that these issues arise yearly, which is something the phone techs are not necessarily aware off. When all the Queens students come back to town, the population of Kingston, ON doubles. To make matters worse, the new influx of cell signals is concentrated to the downtown core. This causes the cell towers to be completely overloaded, especially because GSM signals* aren't as strong as the old CDMA and other non-SIM card technologies. To make matters worse, TELUS hasn't put up its own towers in Kingston yet, so all non-Rogers 3G customers are dependant on the proper functioning of the shared Bell towers. Clearly, they do not have the capacity to provide proper service to all those who want it, and I will be asking for a partial refund on my service.

At least the @TELUSSupport rep on Twitter was helpful in letting us know that they were experiencing text message delays on the HSPA network. At least this means the text messages are actually going through and coming in - unlike yesterday - just not in a timely fashion.

If you're in the same situation as I am, don't despair! Apparently, the network traffic overload will be lessened in a week or so and in the next couple of days, everything should be back to normal. Hopefully.

* Please excuse any terminological errors... This isn't my field of expertise!

On Unpacking

2010-08-31T09:56:00.004-04:00

Moving to Kingston was a breeze, thanks to all the help I got from my family. The whole day went super smoothly, and by the time everyone left after dinner, my place actually looked respectable and lived-in rather than a chaotic post-move danger zone. Sure, there were (and still are!) loads of boxes to unpack, but all the furniture was built and placed where it was supposed to be.

Making a floor plan in advance really helped with the move because all I had to do was draw a quick replica and tape it to the wall for everyone to see where things were meant to go. In my opinion, this was the single most important thing I could have done to ensure an easy moving day for my dedicated helpers.

Personally, my greatest tool has been the spreadsheet I created featuring all my moving boxes, their major contents, where they should be placed, and whether it was important to unpack them first or not. This list has been essential in my unpacking process. Looking for a cable? Check the electronics box, aka L8 (Living Room box 8), says the spreadsheet. It's also been a great procrastination tool because I don't have to open it all up to find what I'm looking for!

Today is the last of the big move days. I've already done the first grocery shopping and all my utilities are set up, but today, I receive my dinning room table and get the last few supplies/appliances I need. After that, I won't have any excuses not to empty those boxes!

Hopefully, I can get 'er done before the weekend. Wish me luck!!

On Moving

2010-08-25T11:09:00.002-04:00

OMG OMG OMG.

Less than four days until moving day and there's still so much to do! A lot of it involves sorting or shoving everyday items or clothing into boxes and bags, but the mess in here makes it seem a whole lot worse than it probably is. That and the tic-toc of the clock.

My last week in Montreal is full of meetings, social commitments and appointments, from the CUAA to physio to using up a spa gift certificate I won from The Social Woman before the move. That massage will definitely relieve some stress and relax my aching body.

And of course, there's #gnoccup, my last adventure in Montreal before my home address officially changes. It's not that I haven't lived elsewhere before, it's just that I haven't lived outside of Montreal for more than a month at a time. This is a big one, but I'm sure it will be fine... As long as I'm done packing!

This is why I had my going-away party nearly a month in advance... Time really does go by quickly, especially when you sacrifice not 7 but 8 days to working tennis. Those rain delays definitely put a damper on things, and that extra packing day probably would have helped me feel less panicky now. Although, who am I kidding? We all know I'd have procrastinated just as much. It must be a journo thing... We need impending deadlines to spring into action.

And on that note... Time to get back to packing! My next blog post will be the first of hopefully many from my new home in Kingston, ON. I can't wait to see what happens!

Stay tuned...

On friendship

2010-08-08T22:59:00.005-04:00

I just had the best day ever. Well, maybe not ever ever, but today was absolutely wonderful. I feel so loved and complete and... me.

August 8, 2010 actually started with me at a wedding reception for a girl I grew up with in the same community group. It was a night full of traditions, old and new to me too, and the bride and groomed looked so happy and right for each other, together. The food - yes, we were still eating around midnight - was pretty good too.

After a good 7 hours of sleep, I got a phone call from a long lost friend I'd seen earlier this week. She was driving by on her way to Toronto and stopped in for a quick chat and Timmy's. Any past negative feelings dissipated - I guess I AM mature now! - and it was a natural and comfortable moment of friendship.

I then proceeded to be even more mature - cleaning the house for my guests before what was to be a BBQ/Board Games/Pool Party/Going Away party but, due to the weather, became a Hurry Up and Grill Those Burgers So We Can Get Out of The Rain/Board Games/Going Away party. I also am proud to say that I, who is not super smart in the kitchen, decided to make some yummy salmon even though I wasn't going to eat it today, because otherwise it would go bad. More maturity right there!

Then, another friend dropped by with some banana bread for the party since she could only stop by much later due to conflicting commitments. We had a great little chat while I made sure I didn't burn the rice. I also managed to get out of the house in time to run my errands and pick up some friends and get back home before everyone else showed up. I know it sounds silly, but when you've got loads to do, it's easy to get distracted and start running late. This time, I was more or less on time and felt like a grown-up for it.

Last but certainly not least, we had loads of fun at the party, despite the heavy rain and the power outage mid-way through the night. Trust me, playing Munchkin by candlelight is not an easy task, but we did it and everyone seems to have had a blast anyway!

The food was great, the company was great, and overall, I had a wonderful, amazing, perfect, responsible evening and the most awesome, full day in a very very very long time. And I feel so very loved by all my fantastic friends in Montreal. I didn't think I was going to feel so nostalgic, now that it's almost over, but I'm pretty sure I'm gonna miss you guys.

Thank you so much for blessing me with such a wonderful day, all of you. It was an absolutely perfect going away present! I'm going to ride this loving feeling all the way to Kingston.

On the Future of TV News

2010-08-06T09:23:00.000-04:00

With reports of journalism jobs being hard(er) to find and discussions at conferences like the Association for Education in Journalism and Mass Communications's annual convention, people in the news industry can't help but wonder about the future. Not just their individual futures but their industry's future.

It's a discussion we've had before, on various platforms and from various points of view. The conclusion remains that we don't know what the future will look like. We just know that it will be different.

I'd like to take a look at what is commonly referred to as journalism's main enemy: the Internet. Why does it work? Because it's customizable. It's targeted. Similarly, which TV stations/networks/coverage tend to make the most cash (and therefore survive longer)? Specialised stations and shows. Things like live sports, or channels dedicated to a single interest, like home design and renovations or fashion. These networks survive because they've found a niche market and they're feeding off of it, both in terms of ratings and ads - it's a targeted "sure thing" investment opportunity.

How does this apply to TV news? Journalists usually agree that all consumers should have access to a source of news that will educate and inform them as well-rounded citizens. In other words, just because your main interest is the stock market doesn't mean you shouldn't know what's going on in Parliament. But let's be honest. After the first five minutes or so of political news, you'll probably switch channels. A good news network will try to keep you watching despite your lack of interest, by using teases, for example. But that's not a commercially viable long-term strategy to retain your attention.

The only way TV news is going to survive in a future overtaken by the Internet, PVRs and "On Demand" is to give consumers what they want, and now. That, for lack of a better word, is what they want. So why not give it to them?

It's not just sports or specialised channels that draw audiences in. News events do the same. Remember #Obamawa? What about the #H1N1 scare or #Haiti aid or, the latest big issue, the BP oil spill? What do these things have in common?

People want to know. They want to know everything and they want to know it now. They just can't get enough coverage and they'll watch several news cycles on several news networks to get their fix. This effectively creates a niche market for information on this issue. But after a day or so, most of the viewers think enough is enough.

What is the future of TV news? Feed the monster. But only if it's hungry.

Every time an event or issue temporarily overtakes the news market, create a specialised "On Demand" stream that will broadcast anything and everything that has to do with the subject. Whether it's NASA's latest space mission or Canada Day, a natural disaster or a political faux-pas, create an individualised stream and feed the monster.

Most of the networks already do it online. Those who know about it and have access to the Internet at the peak of their interest will routinely stream press conference feeds or sporting event coverage. Currently, the networks offer these services for free, mostly because consumers won't pay for a service they're already paying for, whether they consider that to be their cable TV or Internet. Also, most people aren't comfortable paying for any kind of information on the Internet because they're certain they can get it somewhere for free.

But can anyone guarantee a high-quality, uninterrupted, 24h specialised stream? Not on the Internet. Not yet, anyway. But on TV? They've pretty much got it down.

My suggestion - and I want to note that I haven't crunched the numbers on this since broadcast finances are not something I'm familiar with - is to provide that specialised stream on cable TV. Users with a digital box can simply call up their provider (or use self-serve menus) and add CBC News Network 2 or 3 or 4 (for example), depending on which major news story they would like to follow non-stop. The subscription would automatically expire once the story and coverage dies down, or the user could call and cancel it at any time. Set a one-time subscription fee of under $5 per story/stream - my suggestion is somewhere around $3 plus any applicable taxes - and a minimum subscription period of 48 hours, and I'm sure people will pick up on it. I would.

The network would have to broadcast several signals, but since we're switching to digital anyway, it probably wouldn't put too much of a dent in the budget. Getting CRTC clearance is another story.

And what kind of coverage would our reduced newsrooms offer to their new avid customers? Live streams of any of the gazillions of press conferences going on about the topic, interspersed with airport-style "breaking news" segments recorded in a centralised studio, potentially by anchors assigned only to that specific developing news topic or perhaps by the anchor on shift recording for all the specialised channels. You could also throw in live hits from the network reporters on location assigned to the story, interviews with experts and people affected by the story, and related pre-packaged reports - which you're producing anyway. Add in re-packed news conference highlights - longer than the ones played in the main network's news cycle - and boards showing upcoming events related to story, and you've got a nice loop-able mix of non-stop coverage on the news event du jour for the modern news junkie.

In terms of staff, the only extra hires would be technicians to monitor the various streams and editors to package and produce the stream's content. Current online editors would be perfect candidates for this position since they already understand the technology and short attention span of today's news audience. Most of the content is already coming in for the 24h news stations and the live press conference feeds are usually provided as in-house service for a minimal fee.

That way, when a major news story or event takes over the news industry, we won't be overwhelmed by endless reports on an issue, meanwhile getting less than satisfactory coverage of all the other going-ons in the world. And we won't be saturated by a constant flow of information that will make us stop caring about a potentially important issue, or worse, make us actually care about a non-important issue. Like Lindsay Lohan being sentenced to jail.

I don't know about you, but if I could buy non-stop quality coverage of the next shuttle launch, I would. Even if I know I could watch it for free online at NASA TV. Why? Because I can get everything I need to know about that one topic in one spot. And because I'm a space geek. And a political geek would buy coverage to Obama's visit to Canada, and a TV geek would purchase a CRTC telecommunications panel package. In this case, the repetition of the news cycle wouldn't be such a bore because you would choose to watch it.

What do you think? Could dedicated temporary cable streams be the future of TV news?

I guess there's only one way to find out... Stay tuned!

On Packing

2010-08-02T12:11:00.007-04:00

Packing sure isn't a piece of cake! It definitely makes you crave cake, though, and not just once piece of it! Thankfully, family BBQs and other social events have kept me on top of the cake cravings.

And how's the packing going, you ask? Pretty well. Everything that's not in my bedroom is packed. Lots of things in my bedroom are packed. It's starting to look pretty barren and bare in here. But just because the full boxes are piling up doesn't mean that there aren't many more empties to fill.

Along the way, I've been taking long walks down memory lane, rediscovering the joys and troubles of my childhood. Let's just put it this way: my teenage years were seriously messed up. Old journals from that time period make me cry because I was so completely enveloped in anger and hate and despair. I'm thankful to have grown past that and hope to never sink into that kind of depression again.

But in all the toils and trouble, there are also rays of sunshine. I've uncovered some long lost art and greeting cards, both given and received. Like a hilarious birthday card my brother gave me with two knock-knock jokes in them... his "thing" at the time. Or the beautiful rose my father drew for one of my pre-teen birthdays. Or the birthday card I received from someone named Stephanie (not sure who or when) that said she was happy to be my friend because I'm so generous and always in a good mood. Awwwww... :)

All in all, I'm making packing progress. Apart from day-to-day items and furniture, the only things I have left to sort are old boxes full of files and school work, and the clothes at the back of my closet. With less than a month to go - well, more like 2.5 weeks if you take away my work days - I think we're gonna be good to go right on schedule.

Bonus MRI update: Apart from some irritation and natural wear and tear (aka minimal grade 1 chondromalacia and minimal mucoid degeneration), my knee is fine. Which means all I can do is more physio and more cycling and hope and pray that my knee gets stronger and the pain goes away. At least there are perks!

Bonus research update: If you study hockey from a socio-cultural perspective, we want to hear from you! Two of my (future) classmates and I are trying to organize a paper session for the NASSS (North American Society for the Sociology of Sport) 2010 Conference in San Diego. You can check out the Call for Abstracts here and scroll down to session #13 for details. Spread the word!

On Unexpected Expenses

2010-07-19T09:21:00.001-04:00

My wallet sure is getting a workout this summer, what with health-related expenses, moving expenses, and just regular day-to-day and maintenance expenses.

Thankfully, I think I've purchased all the stuff on my "NEED" list for my move by now. Those were all more or less within the budget, although it's amazing how expensive things like kettles, placemats and cooking utensils can be. I mean, it's really nothing amazing! Just shaped metal or plastic, or stitched fabric. Sometimes, I miss the good old days of asking your neighbours to craft you what you needed in exchange for your professional services. "Le troc", as we learned in elementary school, totally needs to make a comeback.

A few weeks ago, I had my regularly scheduled dental cleaning - and we had to get a little preventative work done. Ka-ching! Add to that the cost of all my recent physiotherapy appointments, and we've got ka-ching! ka-ching! ka-ching!

In other unexpected expenses, there's the moving truck rental. I'm not talking giant corporate truck with professional movers. I'm talking Ryder, Budget, or U-Haul. In my case, we're going with U-Haul due to availability and convenience, but all those prices rang up to approximately $300. Insane!! I did not plan on such an "expensive" move, though having moved before, I really should have remembered the cost. Ka-ching!

I also had to purchase a new cellphone. The Pearl on my first-generation Blackberry Pearl stopped scrolling up Saturday, and since this has happened before (though in other directions), I knew that a quick Q-tip scrub could clean it up and get it scrolling again in no time. Unfortunately, I was away from home (and Q-tips!) all day. By Sunday, after a few scrubbing attempts, I decided to stop in to the Telus store. They popped-up the pearl and tried to clean it rather than making me purchase a new one ($7... not sure if that's a good deal or not!) but the pearl stopped working altogether. It could now scroll in most directions but wasn't clicking. Or was automatically clicking. Either way, it wasn't going to work for me! Luckily, my Telus contract was expiring in less than 2 weeks so I had a few offers on my account, so I sprung for... the Blackberry Bold with 3G. That's right! I finally made up my mind between iPhone and BB and stuck with the crackberry. What can I say? I'm addicted! The phone wasn't entirely free, though, so ring up another "ka-ching!" there.

And on Monday, I will be going in for a much needed, finally prescribed MRI for my knee. I've got a pretty good insurance plan - thank you, Concordia! - so by getting it done at a particular clinic in Montreal, I can ensure that up to $300 of the cost will be covered (minus previous claim payouts). That means I've still got another $354 + taxes to cover. And this, folks, is why paying your insurance premium every month is worth it. Still... Ka-ching!

For those of you keeping track, that's a whole lot of "ka-ching"s, and I've got a few more move-associated ones to ring up: pantry stocking, cleaning supplies, school fees... So, I'm pretty close to being broke - because I refused to dig in to my savings (for now). At least I know I've got a few paychecks coming in!

How do you deal with unexpected expenses? Do you have a "just in case" fund? Insurance? Rich parents and/or friends who don't mind paying for your night on the town?

Share your secrets, folks! And stay tuned for more move- and knee-related updates!

On Moving Forward

2010-07-08T20:29:00.004-04:00

I know, I know... Long time no blog!

First off, a quick round-up: My trip to Toronto during the G8/G20 Summits was pretty uneventful. I didn't get arrested, I wasn't disturbed by the security perimeter and I stayed far away from the protesters.

Yes, the protests did prevent family dinner plans from happening but my alternate dinner scenario was just as yummy, and the family dinner simply got postponed since it was raining anyway. Yes, a bona fide raincheck! Overall, I had a great time, from the Jays pounding the Cards, to my solo walking tour of Chinatown and Kensington Market and my mall day(s), to the huge wedding I attended over the weekend.

Once the Summit was over and done with, I walked around the areas I'd seen on TV and heard about in news reports and via the Twitter coverage of Saturday's protest.I thought it was really cool to visualize the trauma spots after the fact. It helped put things in perspective, even for the areas I was previously familiar with.

When I got home, I went straight into "moving mode", sorting through storage bins, leafing through pamphlets and searching for products online. And then came the buying. After just over one week of nearly daily purchasing, I think I'm done. Well... Except for those two raincheck items I need to keep an eye on. Otherwise, I think my credit cards are going to get a well-deserved break.

Now, it's time to seriously start packing and sorting. No more excuses!! I've had moving boxes - and packing paper! - for a few weeks now, courtesy of a friend who'd used them previously, and those boxes aren't gonna build themselves! Of course, that's the easy part. The part that's taking forever - and causing me quite a bit of anxiety - is going through all my stuff.

I'm not the kind of person who accumulates stuff but I tend to keep things... press passes, ticket stubs, books from my childhood and that hair elastic I bought for that outfit I don't have anymore. I'm pretty good at getting rid of clothes but anything that holds knowledge - like my old journals, school work and art - is really hard for me to get rid of. The creative items especially, because they feel like an integral part of "me".

Plus, last time I moved, I just took all my stuff and brought it home. So those storage containers are in dire need of a "sort, donate, throw" regimen. Slowly but surely, I'm sure I'll get it all done. I do have another month and a half to get through it! Well, minus my 2 weeks of full-time work just prior to the move in August. Four weeks is totally doable though, right?

Oh boy, here comes the anxiety again... Who knew moving forward with life could be so stressful!?!

On the Walks

2010-06-16T12:19:00.018-04:00

This year, I was able to attend two World Partnership Walks. The first, of course, was Montreal.

(The only picture I took of the 2010 World Partnership Walk in Montreal.)

What a cold, wet, dreary day it was! Still, our team put together a stellar event and over 1K people attended despite the rain - including some people I didn't expect to show due to the weather, like the Social Woman team! In terms of media, we had a pretty decent Walk Day turnout, considering, including an early morning in-studio interview by yours truly at LCN, a live noon news report on SRC and a live hit and day-after report on Radio-Canada Première Chaîne. Our local media sponsor, CTV Montreal, also had us on the evening news. Coverage leading up to the Walk included this piece I wrote for Stock the Warehouse, and a couple of articles for some community papers by media team member Tabish Bhimani.

We also live tweeted the event, which was loads of fun! I helped out with the stage stuff when things got confusing and congested and had a great time hanging out with my media assistant, Karen Fournier, our MC, Paul Karwatsky from CTV, and Eric Bindman, who, with his team from Fatherly Films, provided fantastic live LED screen coverage. Our lineup was great and it's just so unfortunate that all the excellent planning from a core team of nearly all newcomers to the Montreal Walk couldn't be properly executed due to the weather. Still, I think they had a great time, and I hope that they know that we're all really proud of their efforts - we can see that they did/would have paid off.

One week later, I made the trek to Ottawa, even though my bum knee never quite recovered from the Montreal Walk. (It still hasn't, which is very depressing.)

Ottawa had a large Walk site at Major's Hill Park, alongside the scenic Rideau Canal, with the Byward Market steps away, and with Parliament as a backdrop. It was, in one word: nice. Also, they had a beautiful, sunny, nearly scorching day! I will admit I was more than a little bit jealous. Plus, my friend's band, Three Times Lucky, was the main entertainment act, and boy did they rock it out! Or, should I say, blues it out? Either way, it was a fantastic Sunday day trip, and I'm very glad I went, even though I wasn't able to walk the Walk(s).

On a personal note, I would like to thank everyone who contributed to the cause, or supported me in my efforts for the World Partnership Walk. I not only reached my 1K fundraising goal, but you all rose to the challenge of doubling the amount in two weeks. That's right! I met my 2K fundraising goal! :D

I can't even begin to explain how great that makes me feel, and I've got all of you to thank for it. So... Thanks for putting a smile on my face and helping me put smiles on the faces of some of the poorest people in the world. Thanks to you, we're changing the world, one step at a time. Pat yourselves on the back!! You are now a poverty-fighting hero! :)

(Nursing my knee at the 2010 World Partnership Walk in Ottawa.)

On walking the Walk

2010-06-05T19:24:00.006-04:00

Tomorrow (or today - Sunday, June 6, 2010 - depending when you're reading this) is the 2010 World Partnership Walk in Montreal. Yes, we have finally reached this long discussed date.
Rain or shine, we will be taking steps towards a better world at the Quays of the Old Port of Montreal (between Jacques Cartier Quay and King Edward Quay) starting at 10:30AM. You can't miss it. We've got a bunch of big white tents set up and loads of glorious orange and blue banners decorating the site. Our start/finish line arch is epic. Oh, and TV people? We've got a jib.

"So... wait. What's the World Partnership Walk again?" It's Canada's largest annual event to fight global poverty by raising awareness and funds for the cause. It takes place in 10 cities across the country, including Montreal! Over 70,000 participants walk the Walk and donate directly to programmes that help people help themselves in fields like education, health, sanitation, strengthening of civil society, rural development, the environment and gender issues.

"Wait, what? What do you mean, 'directly'?" I mean directly! 100% of the funds raised through the World Partnership Walk go directly to international development initiatives coordinated by Aga Khan Foundation Canada.

"Aga Khan... isn't he that religious dude?" Yes, he's "that religious dude", aka the spiritual leader of the Ismaili Muslim community and a world renown philanthropist. Most importantly, it's thanks to his private funds that 100% of your donations can go to AKFC's development programmes. And by the way, AKFC is a non-denominational, not-for-profit, registered Canadian charity. Look them up: 10007 2586 RR0001.

"Okay, so my money helps everybody?" That's right! The Foundation's approach is to go into some of the poorest communities in Asia and Africa, ask them what they need, and then give them access to training, resources and often, Canadian expertise, so they can take full ownership of the projects they are implementing. By supporting the Foundation, you are empowering some of the poorest people in the world to take charge of their own lives and change their futures, immediately improving their quality of life and livelihoods. Oh, and your donation helps leverage additional funding from partners like CIDA or USAID.

"So, why me?" Everyone needs to come up with their own answers, but you can't deny that global poverty is one of the most pressing issues of our time. As Canadians (and Americans and anyone else who has the necessary financial and intellectual capacity), it is our duty to help those in need. We've proved time and time again that we believe in the potential of the developing world. Why not encourage them by giving them the proper tools they need to carry their future in their own hands? It works. I've seen it with my own eyes.

"Why do you Walk?" I walk because I have hope for a better world. One where the world heals itself through understanding, care, and love. One where people who can, help those who can't. One where there is trust in humanity, trust in our capacity, and trust in the power of a dream. I walk because I've seen the smiles of the faces of those we've helped in the past and the hope in the eyes of those we have yet to reach. I walk because I care. I walk because I can. I walk because it's the right thing to do.

Now let me turn the tables over to you. Why do you walk? Show me when you come out to the 2010 World Partnership Walk at the Quays of the Old Port tomorrow - Sunday, June 6 - and walk the Walk. If you can't show up, please donate now - I'm $270 away from my 2K goal! - and know that you've taken steps to make the world a better place. The entertainment lineup is pretty good too ;)

It is time for you to take the lead in changing the world. As Ghandi said... “You may never know what results come of your action, but if you do nothing there will be no result.”

Oh, and "Be the change you want to see in the world."

To contribute to my 2010 World Partnership Walk in Montreal fundraising efforts in the fight against global poverty, please click here. 100% of your donation will go directly to helping people help themselves in some of the poorest countries in the world.
PS: Thank you.

On smiles that trump a paycheck

2010-06-02T10:07:00.004-04:00

Well, folks, there are only 5 days left until the World Partnership Walk in Montreal and I am getting very excited because it's shaping up to be a great day, full of fun activities and performances. Check out our lineup!

As you know the World Partnership Walk is Canada's largest annual event to raise funds and awareness to fight global poverty. It takes place in 9 cities across the country and is organized almost entirely by dedicated volunteers - like me! But between you and me, working on Media & Marketing for the Walk has been more of a full time job for the past 3 months and I'd love to be rewarded for my efforts. That's where YOU come in!

Thanks to the generosity of people like you, I met my 1K fundraising goal a couple of weeks ago. So I thought I would issue a challenge to my network to help me double the funds in half the time. So far, I'm at 68%. Do you think you can help me raise the $645 left for me to reach my new target? Any amount helps, from $40 to $100 to $500!

And don't forget, 100% of the funds raised through the World Partnership Walk go directly to international development projects that help people help themselves through long-term sustainable solutions in education, health, sanitation, culture, community strengthening, the environment, gender issues... Aga Khan Foundation Canada's multi-pronged approach aims to enhance the quality of life of some of the poorest people in the world in ALL sectors, and that's what I love about it.

Seeing the smiles on the faces of children who have benefited from their parents' hard work by escaping malnutrition and being able to go to school warms my heart. Just take a look at the pearly whites in the picture of the little boy on my fundraising page! This little kid in Mombasa, Kenya couldn't stop smiling at the camera, so I took a bunch of shots of him and his friends! Isn't he adorable?

I'd love to see all of you and your families at the World Partnership Walk this Sunday, June 6, 2010 at the Quays of the Old Port of Montreal. The activities start at 10:30AM at Place des Vestiges, near Place Jacques Cartier. I strongly encourage you to take public transit as parking in the Old Port is limited and can be expensive. The Walk goes on rain or shine and I expect to see all of you there so I can personally thank you for taking steps to end global poverty.

For those who can't make it to the Walk, I consider your donation a GIANT step towards making the world a better place. Please click here to donate now.

Thank you so much, all of you, for your generous support. It means the world to me.

The smiles we will spark by working together totally trump a paycheck.

On keeping busy

2010-05-08T13:23:00.006-04:00

The month of April has come and gone, bringing us sun and flowers, then taking them away with freak snow and wind storms. Life goes on, no matter how busy you are, and I have been so busy that I haven't had time to Facebook, tweet or blog properly, though I've been trying really hard to keep everyone up to date.

My World Partnership Walk fundraising campaign has been going well, thanks to some very generous donations from some people who are very dear to me. Their kind words have helped boost my efforts, both on the personal front and on the not-for-profit professional front. I'm very excited about the involvement of local media in the 2010 Walk in Montreal and as soon as I officially can, I'll share some of their plans with you.

Meanwhile, two articles I have written in the past few months were finally published! The first one is available online, at The Ismaili.org. It touches on the Bridges That Unite exhibition that was held at Concordia University in March, and in 5 other cities before then, showcasing Canada's development work and 25-year partnership with Aga Khan Foundation Canada. You can read it here.

The other article I wrote appeared in The Ismaili Canada Magazine, which is distributed mainly to the Ismaili community in Canada periodically. It touches on women's role in development and how empowering the women in the developing world can help break the cycle of poverty. I've posted it below for your enjoyment.

Apart from writing, working on the Walk, and translating, I've been doing a fair amount of TV work! HBO Boxing, Versus Hockey broadcasts, CBCSports' coverage of the 2010 Canada Cup... It's been pretty much non-stop work in one field or another for me since my birthday. But hey, I'm not complaining! I am, however, very much looking forward to my mini-escape to Toronto from June 22 to 28. If you want to meet up while I'm in town, you know where to reach me! :)

And now, please excuse me as I go back to translating. Stay tuned...

Empowering women to break the cycle of poverty
By Naila Jinnah

How much do you make in a year? A typical Canadian family with two earning adults made approximately $100,000 before taxes in 2007. Imagine if that amount was cut in half. Could you offer your family the same quality of life on just one income?

In many developing countries, families have to rely on the inadequate salary of only one earner. These families work hard, but often do not see financial returns. In many rural regions, crops are consumed for subsistence rather than sold to the market. This reduces the revenues a family has available to ensure a higher quality of life.

The United Nations Development Fund for Women (UNIFEM) estimates that women represent 70 percent of the world’s poor. Statistically, women are more likely than men to be poor due to the discrimination they face in areas of education and employment.

So how can women be empowered to break out of the cycle of poverty?

There are short-term and long term approaches to this challenge. The Aga Khan Fund for Economic Development (AKFED), an agency of the Aga Khan Development Network (AKDN), strives to provide economically viable solutions to poverty in the developing world by investing in entrepreneurship and offering financial services to those who are not usually eligible to receive them. These programs go beyond micro-lending into the area of private and for-profit enterprise. One example of AKFED’s investment ventures is Kenya’s
Frigoken Ltd.

Frigoken works with small-scale farmers to stimulate regional economies by providing business development services like price guarantees, quality control, training and seeds. This venture works on two levels. First, it enables entire farming villages in the coastal rural region of Mombasa to confidently invest in their crops, providing a higher and more stable source of income, and allowing families to educate their children. Second, it stimulates the national economy by providing factory jobs for trained workers who process and package the vegetables
for export.

Approximately 2,700 people work in the Frigoken factory. Most of them are women who are providing a valuable secondary income for their families. There is also an on location daycare service for the younger children. But often where agencies like AKDN are not active, employment opportunities for women remain limited.

Unskilled women with limited education are dispensable in the economic chain. In the city, these women are confined to low-paying and low-status jobs like domestic and cleaning services. Even in Canada, many immigrant families are stuck in low income lifestyles with no apparent way out. Single mothers here resort to night jobs in factories or mid-day shifts in the hospitality industry in order to accommodate their dual role as parents and earners.

The root of the poverty problem lies deeper. According to UNIFEM, women make up approximately 60 to 80 percent of the manufacturing workforce, a struggling industry in the
ongoing global economic crisis. How can they save their families from the desperation of poverty?

The solution is education. Offering proper educational services that are tailored to girls’ needs from early childhood through to adulthood is the key to breaking the cycle of poverty. Fortunately, children in Canada are provided with free, quality education until the age of 16
regardless of their backgrounds, providing hope for a better life for future generations.

But in developing countries, it’s not that simple.

Children living in cities are well serviced by primary and secondary schools. But in rural areas, educational facilities are less accessible. One common form of early childhood education is the madrasa, a religiously focussed pre-school. AKDN partners with villages in East Africa to build madrasas, allowing the community to unite and effectively run the schools. Along with providing financial support, the AKDN trains village women to be teachers, ensuring that a secular curriculum is taught for at least part of the day. This allows children from all backgrounds to attend and accommodates responsibilities at home.

Girls benefit the most from this arrangement; they can still tend to sick family members or help in the kitchen or farm before and after school. Since the teachers are local women who are paid by the village, the madrasa project also empowers women on a secondary level.

Most parents understand the value of education in providing a better future for their children but they cannot afford to lose their workforce for extended periods of time. Many girls drop out of school in their teens, while boys often finish high school. The issue lies in the sensitivity to girls’ physiological and practical needs, rather than cultural considerations. Many girls stop going to school when they reach puberty because schools do not have proper latrines tailored to women’s needs. Even when they do, the poverty is so extreme that girls cannot afford feminine hygiene products. Worse, many girls do not have spare undergarments and uniforms and must go home to wash and dry them, which disrupts the school day.

The Aga Khan School Improvement Programme (SIP) is one AKDN initiative that directly addresses this challenge by providing a forum for girls to discuss issues that are relevant only to them in a secure, private setting and make suggestions to the school on their educational experience. Programs like SIP invest in girls by providing them with the tools they need to escape poverty on a practical and educational level. It empowers girls to change their lives and livelihoods and opens up a wide array of possibilities for their future. Many
dream of being doctors and teachers.

In his speech at the commemoration of the 25th Anniversary of the madrasa programme in Mombasa, Kenya, in 2007, [The Aga Khan] noted that, ”… we sometimes give too little attention to the schools which prepare young children for life itself—in all of its holistic dimensions. And yet the evidence accumulates steadily showing that an investment made in the earliest, pre-school years can bring enormous dividends as a child proceeds from one level of education to another.”

Women perform 66 percent of the world’s work, produce 50 percent of the food, but earn only 10 percent of the income and own a meagre one percent of the property. With services that are sensitive to their issues, women have the opportunity to provide a higher quality of life for their families. With some support, these girls could one day lead the developing world out of the devastating cycle of poverty.

(First appeared in The Ismaili Canada Magazine, Issue 1, March 2010)

On my birthday wish

2010-04-07T11:41:00.010-04:00

Those who are familiar with this blog (and me in general) might be expecting a post containing a birthday list. Well, think again.

After many years of making lists yet receiving presents that aren't listed and sometimes not useful - though you don't kick a gift-horse in the mouth and I am thankful for all your thoughts and presents - I decided to scratch that idea. Plus, I have a much better idea!

As I have aged - finer, like wine and cheese, of course - I have discovered that the best gift of all is friendship. So this year, I asked for the company of my friends for 2 cool events. The first was my trapezing/birthday dinner celebration. What a blast!! It's a little nerve-wracking at first but the professionals at Trapezium made sure that we all felt comfortable and safe jumping off the tall tall platform and swinging towards the genie. (You had to be there). Some of us had to conquer our fears to do it, but it was well worth it. I'd love to go back - the next class teaches you how to be caught, circus-style! Later that night, we went for a wonderful birthday dinner at Oyster Shack, a very nice Montreal restaurant.

The second event I'd love to have my friends participate in with me is the World Partnership Walk on June 6 at Place des Vestiges at the Quays of the Old Port. Some of you might have groaned just now, but hear me out.

Every year, we spend tons of money on stuff we don't need. I'm guilty of it too. I purchase books when I could just go to the library instead. I don't really NEED that $5 Starbucks hot chocolate or that new pair of shoes, and guess what? You probably don't either. (Okay, sometimes we really DO need those things, but as a general rule, we can live comfortably without them.)

Imagine if your budgeting concern wasn't for Starbucks but for medicine. Imagine having to decide between having one meal a day or purchasing pills from the dispensary so your sick parent, sibling, or child could have a fighting chance at surviving for another day, another week, another year. These are things we don't usually concern ourselves with because it is not our reality. But for the over 2.6 billion people who live on less than $2 a day, that concern is very real. Think about it. Three out of four people on this Earth cannot afford to eat. We share the same planet, the same values, the same hopes and aspirations. Why can't we help each other out?

This year, for my birthday, I would like you to take the $20 or $40 or $100 you were going to spend on my birthday gift and donate it to the World Partnership Walk. 100% of the funds you give will go directly to international development programmes managed by Aga Khan Foundation Canada that empower local communities to help themselves through cross-cutting projects like ensuring clean water and sanitation, strengthening rural economies, and educating new generations of girls and women.

Please, for my 1/4 century birthday celebration, give me hope. Hope for a better future for our brothers and sisters around the world, hope to inspire us to keep working to eradicate poverty, and hope for humanity. It's easy to give - you can do it online right now by clicking here.

As you know, hope is a dangerous thing. Let's start a social movement by helping some of the poorest people in the world. Let us be the leaders of the change we want to see in the world, for once, and let's see how far this spark of hope can go.

Thank you :)

On the Queen's University

2010-03-30T18:47:00.002-04:00

To whom it may concern,

In September 2010, I will be embarking on a new journey. One that starts in Kingston, ON at the Queen's University. For the next two years, I will be a Master's candidate in the Socio-Cultural Studies of Sport programme at Queen's U.

And I am stoked!!!

While this may seem to be a diversion from my current course of career choice, it is not. For my thesis, I will be examining the use of social media by the NHL and its teams and players as a marketing and communications tool. Without spilling too many details, I believe I can find a model that will be applicable not only to NHL teams in general or to professional sports leagues, but also to amateur sports leagues, sporting events, not-for-profit organizations and events and perhaps even to media organizations.

My programme offers the possibility of submitting a thesis by manuscript, which is what I intend to do. Two birds: one stone!

Of course, this decision comes with a bunch of changes, from the content of my closet to my reading materials and my bedroom, not to mention my eating and spending habits. And while I wait for classes to start, I will be keeping busy with my World Partnership Walk Media Relations planning and activities, apartment hunting, and of course, the actual move.

Wish me luck... and link me up with any contacts that you think could help my research!

PS: Did I mention that I'm the new President of the Journalism Chapter of the Concordia University Alumni Association? Our first event is Thursday... I can't wait!

On the 2010 World Partnership Walk in Montreal

2010-03-16T11:05:00.002-04:00

When the 2010 campaign of the World Partnership Walk launched in February, I was asked to talk about "Why I Walk". And I, who is usually full of motivating marketing messaging, struggled. After a tumultuous year full of a variety of experiences relating to the not-for-profit sector and international development, I was at a loss for words. I didn't even know where to begin, how to start thinking about the question, though I did have an answer last year.

Fundraisers for international development NGOs typically focus on stories and images of death and despair.

"Help now, or else," is the message they spread.

"These children will die without your support," they say.

And then there's the spectrum of messaging associated with emergency response aid. Not to say that these statements aren't valid, but with so much negativity in the air, I found it hard to focus on why I persist in supporting not-for-profit initiatives. "What's the point?" I asked myself.

In the summer of 2009, I participated in an Aga Khan Foundation Canada Awareness Trip to Africa. In 5 quick days, I visited a variety of international development projects sponsored by Aga Khan Development Network, from the Frigoken factory and the Nation Media Group in Nairobi, Kenya, to the Coastal Rural Support Programme (CRSP) and Kenya School Improvement Programme (KENSIP) in Mombasa, Kenya.

This whirlwind tour left me with a few key impressions. Surprisingly, I didn't encounter a world full of desolation and desperation, as most of the advertisement would like us to believe. I met real people with real goals and real aspirations for their children, just like us. I met children who, like me, were excited to go to school and learn. I saw a vibrant city that moved at the same pace as New York City or Montreal. And I saw farmers and hospitality workers who were not just struggling to get by but trying to make a life for themselves, no matter the gravity of their situation.

The World Partnership Walk raises funds to help improve the lives and livelihoods of families and communities like those I visited in East Africa, through health, education and rural development programs as well as community-led initiatives. During my trip, I was fortunate enough to see the fruits of our labours, the benefits of this grassroots approach. By enabling local populations to decide what they need the most and then empowering them to find the proper long-term, sustainable solutions, we are investing in their future.

100% of the funds raised through the Walk go directly to these programmes, and in some cases, the Canadian International Development Agency (CIDA) offers additional support. Not one cent is spent on administration.

Let's overcome the negativity and look to the future with compassion, hope, and only positive thoughts. Let's unite in the noble intention of helping to alleviate global poverty. As Canadians, we all come from somewhere else, sometime in the past. Someone invested in us and allowed us to flourish in this country, both personally and professionally. It is time for us to give back to society at large and help make the world a better place by investing in someone who, like us, simply wants the best for his or her community.

Join me for the World Partnership Walk on June 6, 2010 at Place des Vestiges in the Quays of the Old Port of Montreal or donate online. Together, we can spark a beacon of hope and show the world what it truly means to be Canadian. Together, we can discover why we walk.

On Bridges That Unite

2010-03-12T16:12:00.004-05:00

Looking for something unique to do this month? Need more culture in your life? I know I do.

Consider visiting "Bridges That Unite", a free bilingual exhibition taking place at Concordia University's McConnell Building Atrium until March 26, 2010.

As per the press release, Bridges That Unite

"invites visitors to consider Canada's role in the world through the lens of a remarkable 25-year partnership with the Aga Khan Development Network (AKDN) in some of the world's most isolated and impoverished regions. Thought-provoking stories spanning several continents are told through powerful images, evocative soundscapes and multimedia components."

Yes, that last part is actually true.

Every time I've been to the exhibition so far - 2 times and counting! - I have discovered new images and new text. It's not that the exhibition is constantly changing, it's just that I'm absorbing the information in a different way. It's a little uninviting at first due to the layout of the exhibition in a tight, linear space, but once you're in it, you're in.

I was delighted to discover the ring of chairs, a symbol of the thought and communication that goes into the planning of development programmes. It's the starting point for meaningful social change that will make a lasting impact even in the most remote and impoverished areas of the world. As part of the ring of chairs exhibit, you can listen to recorded testimonials from some of the people who have witnessed this impact first-hand.

One of them is Steve Mason, who worked as a programme manager for Aga Khan Foundation in Afghanistan and whom I met as the head of Aga Khan Foundation East Africa during my visit to Kenya. I remember being so immensely impressed by his talent, work and dedication to improving the lives and livelihoods of these communities and I yearned to learn from his experience. As I found out this weekend, he was just appointed as the first CEO of AKF West Africa. Congrats, Steve!

Bridges That Unite has many more well-hidden secrets but have no fear! There are guides available to help you decipher all the panels and the stories they tell. Dressed in red vests, these guides are on site during regular business hours, 7 days a week.

What I enjoyed the most about Bridges That Unite was the feeling you get when you're walking around. It's not a feeling of desperation and anger and death. It's a feeling of love, help and hope. It makes you wonder what Canada can do to continue in this successful partnership with the developing world. It makes you wonder what you can do - what I can do - to provide that spark of hope that will make the world a better place.

I haven't figured it out yet, but if and when you do, write it on a sticky note and affix that note to the board in the Bridges That Unite exhibition that inquires, "The world needs more..."

Who knows? With the right ingredients, maybe we can change the world.

On the Vancouver 2010 Olympic Winter Games

2010-03-03T00:37:00.004-05:00

And so it is done. In 14 short days, the Vancouver 2010 Olympic Winter Games have come and gone. Vancouver has returned to its former level of activity. There are less people on the streets, those streets are mostly no longer closed to vehicle traffic, and the SkyTrain is no longer bursting at the seams. Just like in Ottawa, there was a budget announced in Vancouver. It's back to business, isn't it?

Well, no. For all of us who were involved in the Games, one way or another, whether through volunteering, participating or spectating, 2010 will be a memorable year. Vancouver and Whistler will leave a mark in our hearts and looking back on the events of Feb 12 to 28 will rekindle our passion for the sports, our country and the experience.

My personal experience was fantabulous. See? It was so fantastic that I can only describe it by using a fake word.

Despite our early stumbles, the staff at The Whistler Sliding Centre recovered admirably well. We gave it our 110% and put out some of the best quotes of the Games. You probably unknowingly read them in your sliding sports recaps. They were better than the cliché I just used, I promise.

Thanks to the wonderful support of our Olympic News Service (ONS) Supervisor and Sports Writer, we - my co-reporters and I - learned more than just the basics of Luge, Skeleton and Bobsleigh. By the final Runs and Heats of the competition, we were able to have knowledgeable conversations with the real, paid reporters in the Mixed Zone. Sure, some of them were rookies like us, but we could even keep up with the best beat writers out there. We made predictions, comments and suggestions. We were able to ask poignant questions and understand the ones posed by other reporters. We were even able to understand the athletes' answers, and better yet, tell them apart! This proved to be quite useful during the Four-Man Bobsleigh event, and our studying served us well.

In the end, working for ONS was a work contract like any other. But it wasn't. To echo the athletes, it's just another race except it's the Olympics. I made friends for life (I hope!), invaluable contacts on both sides of the fence (in the journalism world and in the Olympic family), and I learned. I learned from sports reporters, from ONS staff, from fellow volunteers. I learned from the athletes, from their responses, from their races.

And I laughed! When we were exhausted and hungry, we laughed. When we were cold and wet, we laughed. When we were done for the day and more than ready for bed, we laughed.

Sure, we had our ups and downs. We got frustrated and argumentative. We disagreed with each other and sometimes were quite vocal about our dislikes. But that's just part of the job. It's part of the stress of working long back-to-back days, part of the pressure of always being on the ball, part of the difficulties a live sporting event experience. And I loved it. Because overall, we laughed.

The best part was the bubble. It was also the worst part. You get so into your sport, into your venue, into your athletes that you just can't absorb any additional information. Medals and crashes in other sports? Nope, haven't seen them. A snow storm in Montreal? Nope, haven't heard about it. Haven't read that article. Haven't spoken to my family and friends in a few days. Haven't had time to read status updates on Facebook. Yet the only reason I found out about the snow was because people were complaining about it in their status. But don't ask me what people were tweeting about. I could barely catch up on emails and direct responses!

The bubble is what pushed me to escape Whistler as soon as my last shift was done. Quickly home to pack and catch the bus. Nothing against this snowy, wintery Olympic town. The atmosphere was fantastic, the people were super friendly, full of fun and enthusiasm. And it's not that I didn't want to celebrate the end with my co-workers... I just needed to get out of the bubble. To further the analogy, it's like when you blow a bubblegum to the limit and it's about to burst and you suck it back a little just in time to avoid it embarrassingly covering your face. That's how you feel at the end of an intensive gig.

Luckily, I was able to catch some of the Olympic fever in Vancouver as well. I came back to Van City when I had a couple of days off and toured some of the attractions, though I was not at all interested in wasting my day waiting in line. The beautiful spontaneous Inukshuk wall between Science World/Rusky Dom and GM Place/Canada Hockey Place is the kind of passion that turns me on, and I loved just basking in the energy of the host city.

I also felt the pulse of the city on Feb 27-28, thanks to my speedy return from Whistler. Crowded streets and spontaneous "Oh Canada" chants, red and white at every turn of the head. I watched the Gold Medal Men's Hockey Game with my family, in their living room, sharing simultaneous heart-attacks with hockey fans from all over the globe. When we went out for dinner later that night you could still feel the electricity in the air and the high, soaring spirits of the inhabitants.

And then, just like the sudden onset of my post-ONS, post-Whistler blues, the city crashed. Call it a passion-low. The flame was extinguished, it was done, it was over, and we all had to face the facts and go back to our normal, boring everyday lives. Transit that's not as regular. NHL games with predictable intermission interviews. And thankfully, streets that are much easier to navigate without a gazillion people crawling along at a snail's pace.

I'm glad I took a few extra days to experience the city's true face. And guess what? Even sans Olympics, I still love it. Don't worry, Vancouver. I might be leaving you on Thursday but I'll be back before you know it!

Stay tuned... I should be posting pictures to Flickr soon!

On Nodar Kumaritashvili

2010-02-13T13:30:00.000-05:00

As you have no doubt heard by now, there was a tragic accident at Men's Singles Luge training at the Whistler Sliding Centre on Friday.

21-year old Georgian athlete Nodar Kumaritashvili slid off his sled and off the track, hitting a solid post. When it happened, I was in the Mixed Zone. I didn't not personally see the incident, but I heard a disturbance. The reporters who were watching the live footage on the big screen exclaimed in surprise and distress.

Hours after it was all over, after the Opening Ceremonies, after a comforting dinner with some of my co-workers and lighting some candles at the Olympic rings in Whistler Village, I came home and turned on the TV. It was still all over the news. As well as a soldier's death in Afghanistan and a young woman's death in Ontario. It was a tough night for Canada.

I also posted a few stories on the incident. One on juggling being a reporter and being a human being. One on the balance between reporting the news and exploiting someone's death.

The latter got a lot of comments on my Facebook page, and most people agreed that the footage of the crash leading to Nodar's death should not have been showed. However, they disagreed on the degree to which the death should have been reported. I would like to share the comment I wrote in response to theirs.

It is worth noting that this was my third comment on the story. The first explained how the Olympic Broadcast Service cut the feed of the crash as soon as it happened, but CTV, ABC and other networks aired the full crash footage. CTV stopped airing the actual crash once it became clear that Nodar had passed away. ABC not only showed the full crash, they also aired a picture of his bloody face, receiving CPR before being put in the ambulance.

My second comment referred to the idea that people "need to know" and the media being the ones to deliver that information to keep people informed, though I didn't agree with airing the full footage and said that if someone was truly compelled to watch it, they could be pointed to it online.

Commentators on the post talked about conscience, the morbid interest we have in death - something we can't understand, on ratings and money, on having limits and respect and not airing something if you're "struggling" with the decision, on family and friends having to see it over and over again, and on how the incident airing live could not have been prevented but networks would never air the footage of someone being shot to death.

Without further ado, here is my long-winded response to all these concerns and comments. It is my form of therapy and sharing it with you will make it easier for me to deal with this horrific incident, put it behind me, and enjoy the rest of the Olympic Games.

There was no way of knowing what would happen live, so that's not up for discussion. I personally don't think that it should have aired completely, but if it hadn't, I and other reporters who are covering the story would have seen it and wouldn't have been able to understand what happened.
That doesn't mean that I would have put it on a broadcast. Like I said, I would have aired up until the sled started slipping, and cut it there.

An article doesn't work for TV, unfortunately, and having an anchor on cam for over a minute describing the incident doesn't work either.

There are rules in Canada - and journalistic ethics - that prevent the showing of someone's death on TV and it should have stayed that way. If there was any indication at all that Nodar had passed away (which there was - one reporter I talked to who saw the crash live (on the venue screen) said right away that he thought Nodar might be dead), then you shouldn't show the moment of death. It's a lack of respect, it's unnecessary, and it's gruesome.

Ratings shouldn't matter in this case. What if his family and/or friends had been watching and this was how they heard/learned about the death?

Similarly, nothing serious should have been tweeted/FB about the incident until the family was notified and the IOC confirmed the death. Reporting that there was a major crash is one thing. Putting it out there that he's dead when there hasn't been a confirmation is unacceptable.

Yes, journos want to get the story and get it first, but at some point, humanity has to step in. Just as there are embargo rules on deaths in military zones, there should be embargo rules applied to ALL deaths.

As for having it online, I don't think it should be advertised, but human beings can't help but be curious and want to see it for themselves to believe it, even if the footage is behind a gazillion disclaimers - people tend to ignore those. In this case, competition and ratings did take over, but before any networks put the OBS footage online, some people had apparently already put it on YouTube. That's gross and it pisses me off.

I was there, I heard the scrapping of the sled and the initial exclamation from those who saw it happen. I felt the moment of shock, when we were all frozen in our understanding and realization of what had and may have happened. Then, someone sprung into action and decided to head down to the crash site. By then, Nodar was already being moved into the ambulance. Some reporters saw more than I did, and photographers captured some gruesome images. I don't blame them, that's human curiosity. You do want comes natural, and taking the shot is what photographers do naturally.

I saw Nodar's feet as he was put into the ambulance. That was enough for me. When I saw the crash footage later, and how still Nodar had been, there was no doubt in my mind that he died instantly. The networks should have come to the same realization and decided NOT to air the footage.

Nodar Kumaritashvili, rest in peace. Here's a prayer for your soul and the quick healing of all our hearts. May we remember only the positives from your life and may your legacy make your favourite sport safer for all. I hope you left this world full of joy and the thrill of doing what you like the most, not fear or desperation.

My condolences to the whole Olympic family.

On Whistler

2010-02-13T13:09:00.003-05:00

Yes, you read right.

I am now in Whistler after a volunteer here dropped out. My job title is the same - Olympic News Service Reporter - but the environment is completely different.

For one, it actually looks like winter here. I'd kinda forgotten how it felt to walk in the snow. Thankfully, I did pack my super warm snow boots. Unfortunately, I left behind all my layers/skiing clothes because there was no reason to pack them given that I wouldn't have time to make it to this mountain.

I had a wonderful time at the Main Press Centre. The team I worked with was fantastic, my editor in chief was amazing, and the venue was gorgeous. Sure it took me 2h to get to downtown Vancouver, and then 2h to get back, but staying with my family made up for it all. I do miss them, but I'll be seeing them for a few days before I fly back to Montreal.

Being at a sports venue is amazing. You really get to know the athletes, the crew, your co-workers... You get submerged in the environment, the venue, the sport. You're in a little bubble for the duration of the Olympic Games, which is both a good and bad thing: you become an expert in your field, just from being surrounded by it all the time, but you also miss out on some of the other things that are going on.

Still, by checking other Olympic news regularly and taking the time to go out, explore and relax after your shifts, you can have a more than enjoyable time and still be a pro when at work.

In case you were wondering, I'm assigned to the Whistler Sliding Centre, aka luge, bobsled and skeleton. Yes, I was there when the tragic accident happened. More on that to follow.

And I think that despite this horrible, unfortunate incident, we'll be a stronger team: athletes, coaches, reporters, volunteers... We'll all band together. And we will overcome this hardship to fully enjoy some of the best Olympic Games the world has ever seen.

Go Canada Go!

On Vancouver

2010-02-06T23:50:00.008-05:00

Week 1 in Vancouver has been truly amazing. I finally met one my aunts and some cousins, I am about to see another set of cousins after, oh, maybe 15 years? And I am surrounded by the natural beauty of the Fraser Valley.

Oh, and did I mention I'm volunteering at the Olympics?

It's been a wonderful experience so far, from figuring out transit from Mission, BC to Canada Place (as opposed to Canada Hockey Place), to picking up my bright blue volunteer uniform and getting along so well with my family. I've only done a couple of shifts at the Main Press Centre and things have been slow due to the Games not starting for another week or so, but I'm going to be working with a great team, and I am now a master of the news system ;)

I will admit I was a bit bummed at not getting Main Media Centre accreditation, which would have allowed me to visit friends and to network at the International Broadcast Centre next door. However, limiting credentials to essential venues only is probably a good move by VANOC and I would assume that it severely reduces potential security threats. So I can't hold that against them. Still, IBC buddies, as you have access to the MPC with your accreditation, I look forward to you stopping in for a chat in my little neck of the woods.

Speaking of the woods, the scenery in Vancouver is absolutely stunning. Everywhere you turn, you can see mountains and tall trees. Whether you're downtown, on the SkyTrain, or in the suburbs, this wise, ancient environment surrounds you. Some of the mountains are lit at night, being ski hills. Others are best viewed during the day, with their snowy tops reflecting in the sun, which we've been having a lot of, thankfully. It's also consistently been between 9 degrees Celsius and 12C during the day, which is great for me but not so great for Cypress Mountain.

The bridges here are amazing as well. They are beautiful architectural structures and overlook the most entrancing landscapes. I imagine it might get boring after a while, but I keep feeling blessed by these mountains you just want to hug and lakes you can't wait to paddle. What else could I ask for? I have breakfast on the sunny deck looking out to the mountains, wait for the bus looking at other mountains, ride public transit on these gorgeous bridges and over the logging, cabin-sitting rivers, and all the while, the air is crisp and fresh and warm.

Vancouver seems like a great place for me. I haven't even reacted to the dog!

After a week, I've gotten used to the time change and actually went to sleep at 3am voluntarily last night, which is a good sign considering that once I really start my Olympic shifts, I'll only be able to get to bed around 2:30am. The only thing that's not so good about Pacific Time is, though I kept claiming to be living in that timezone when in Montreal, that it's hard to stay in touch with people. Not just friends and family, but my whole online system, my Twitter buddies and news streams... they're all based in Eastern Time, and I'm having trouble keeping up! Still, these kinds of busy trips help me eliminate some of the clutter in my life, from websites I realize I'm not really interested in catching up on or Facebook friends whose updates aren't really relevant to my everyday life anymore. Usually, these trips help me re-focus my energies on what's truly important, and I'm looking forward to figuring it all out once this journey is over.

Meanwhile, I can't wait until all my broadcast buddies settle in Vancouver later this week. It's going to be nice to hang out and explore together and who knows? Maybe I'll even have a hot tub, hot dog, house party! Since we're in Vancouver, everyone will be super polite (I love that people here yell out "thank you" even when exiting the bus by the rear doors) and you'll all be wearing track suits (I heard that Vancouver was casual, but I was expecting lululemons and Pumas, not sweats and Converse), so it'll be a grand time! (That's right, I've picked up some Irish lingo from my Irish family).

And on that note... Slainte!

On Falling in Love

2010-01-25T09:03:00.001-05:00

Why do we fall in love?

Boy or girl, we are naturally programmed to seek out that fairytale ending, our "happily ever after". More often than not, it ends in disaster and pain, but we keep trying, hoping we'll find "the one" some day.

When you meet someone you think you would like to date, do you get excited? Don't deny it... Being with that person makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside. You can't help but wonder how you would be together, if the search is finally over, if this is it, the moment you fall in love for the last time, "the one". Unless, of course, it's a purely physical attraction and those are your intentions from the start. But disregarding that option, if you're looking for a relationship, you might wonder about the future.

For some, these initial long-term thoughts are a test. Do I see myself with this person? Could we still have fun hanging out after the initial spark is gone? Will we be holding hands as we grow old?

It might sound sappy, but it's true. We all do it. It's an internal response system that is meant to help you reject the insufficient options so you don't waste your time. It's not just psychological, in fact, it's more likely biological. After all, male or female, the clock is ticking. There's a sense of urgency to finally finding the security of life-long company, whether you're an introvert or an extrovert, independent or co-dependent, whether you've already built a life for yourself or are just laying down the foundations for your future.

We long for the company of a warm body on a cold winter night, for snuggles by the fireplace and a hand to hold as you walk through the park, someone to share ice cream with on a hot summer's day, someone to comfort you when you're mad or sad and tell you that it's going to be alright. We cannot help but look for it, though we know that it's only when we stop searching that we truly open ourselves up to love, and to being loved.

Why this compulsion that so often leads us in the wrong direction? There is nothing positive about settling for a relationship that is stagnant and prevents you from growing. It's a waste of time and yet we do it anyway. Why do people so often stay in abusive relationships? We convince ourselves that it's not so bad, that our partner doesn't really have that many faults, that he/she doesn't really mean to hurt us, and that maybe, just maybe, we could be a little more patient, give a little bit more, and then, it just might work.

Human beings are lazy, yes, but we don't like to give up. Nobody likes to feel like a failure. We have a hard time admitting that it's just not working. That's why break-ups are so hard, for both sides. No matter how much or how little you've invested in the relationship, by breaking up, you're admitting that you were wrong, it was a waste of time and, more importantly, that your search isn't over. The dreams go out the window when you hear the words: "I'm sorry, you're not the one." And every time, you grieve, as if it was. In your mind, you had already committed your heart and soul. You had already fallen in love. And now, you've lost it all: what you had, what you could have had, what you thought you had. Time to start from scratch, rev up your engine, folks, because the harsh dispiriting search is back on.

It's why we have rebounds. And relapses.

We just cannot fathom being alone, not having someone to share special moments with, not having someone to grow old with, not having someone to die with.

We are afraid of being alone, no matter how much we enjoy it. We'd like to have our alone time during the day but come home to a warm, occupied bed. We want to have it all.

And that's why relationships fail. Because we're trying too hard to convince ourselves that it's the right match. Because we don't want to keep searching, because that's too hard, on the heart, on the mind, on the body... Because we'd rather have the knowledge that things aren't perfect but at least we've got someone to call. Because we'd rather have something than nothing at all.

We fall in love, right or wrong, whether we want to or not, because we need to. Because the very definition of being human is to seek out comfort and acceptance and love. Because it's a biological longing to procreate and to leave something of yourself behind when you go. Even though it means more tears than smiles, more heartaches and crying, more desperation and more pain, we keep trying to fall in love, keep hoping this is "the one", keep searching for our fairytale ending, our "happily ever after".

Why do we fall in love? Because we don't have a choice.

A note on text donations for #Haiti

2010-01-15T13:06:00.010-05:00

Giving by text message is an easy way to help. Monetary aid is more practical than food or clothing donations at this point, though in the long-term, those will probably be appreciated as well. In the aftermath of the Haiti Earthquake, the American Red Cross quickly set up a mobile giving number and effectively spread the word through social media, especially Twitter. The Canadian Salvation Army later followed suit.

There are a lot of mixed reports on how and where you can donate to the Haiti Earthquake fund. Here is a short list of a few legitimate options for mobile giving with this specific cause in mind. All donations will appear on your next cellphone bill.

If you're in the USA, text "HAITI" to 20222 to donate $10 to the Red Cross.

!!!THIS ONLY WORKS IN THE US!!!

In Canada, text "HAITI" to 45678 to make a $5 donation to the Canadian Salvation Army. Edit: According to this article, the government of Canada is matching all donations to the Salvation Army's Haiti fund.

You can also donate $5 to Plan Canada by texting "HAITI" to 30333. The government of Canada has confirmed it is matching Plan Canada donations.

Rogers/Fido customers can also text "Help" or "Aide" to 1291 to donate $5 for Haiti.

The government of Canada has announced that it would be matching all donations made to registered charities between January 12 to February 12, 2010. In fact, Canada is creating their own separate fund for Haiti and contributing a matching amount of money to said fund. If you have any additional questions or concerns, check out the CIDA FAQ here.

REMEMBER: Always make sure to donate to registered charities. Unfortunately, there are already lots of Haiti fund scams out there.

Be vigilant. And give whatever you can. Everything helps.

On sharing

2010-01-08T13:57:00.009-05:00

As you may know, I'm a huge fan of Wil Wheaton. It's not just his work as an actor or his talent as a writer.

It's because he is honest about who he is, as an individual, a father, a husband, an artist, and a geek. He doesn't hide his true character the way that most of us do, and that takes a whole lot of courage and self-esteem. Sure, he keeps some things private, but that's vital to anyone's sanity and totally understandable.

In his latest blog post, Wil talks about what motivates him as a writer. He says,

All artists are compelled to do what we do, whether it's music or storytelling or painting or whatever. (...) I struggle sometimes to find a balance between just "being" somewhere and mentally recording what it's like to be there, but I don't really have a choice in the matter...

This is exactly how I feel about my craft, whether it's blogging, reporting, or working behind the scenes in TV. In fact, I was so much in agreement with his perspective that I was compelled to add my own in his comments. I said,

Yes. As a writer/journo/TV broadcaster/blogger/tweeter/sharer, I definitely think we're compelled. There's just no other way to explain it. We don't just do it because we like it or want to... we HAVE to.

When I don't write SOMETHING/ANYTHING for a while, I feel all bottled up and stressed and I just have to let it out in some form. Sometimes, I can avoid the actual creative process by doing something related, like singing or playing the guitar. But most of the time, that's just a temporary fix. Like craving chocolate but having hot chocolate instead.

As for the balance... It's really tough to just "be". At least for me. I find it hard to leave the observational, detail-oriented, analytical part of me behind and just enjoy experiences. I always have the need to record and to share, and it's only after much struggling that I can push that need aside.

I've found that going into a situation deciding NOT to report but just to enjoy sometimes helps achieve that "it's okay not to tell the whole world about this" feeling. But not always. Although it does become easier with practice!

Thanks for sharing! :)

And now you know.

The Things You Miss The Most

2010-01-06T14:11:00.009-05:00

This week, for the first time in a long time, I sat down and tried to write a real article. It was hard!!

I was helped by the fact that my piece would feel more like a column rather than a hard news story , but even then, I was reminded of how much work it takes to write a concise, easy-to-read article that is not a blog post.

I will admit that when I first started writing, I was a little bit afraid of the 600-800 words order... but I ended up going over!

The thing is... I usually just write. Even when I was doing more hard news reporting, I familiarized myself with the story, figured out what I wanted to say while I was still in transition from location to desk, and just sat down and wrote. Sometimes, I would have to pause half way and re-assess my intentions for the piece. I would take this time to make a few edits and trim a few superfluous words.

Then, I would probably tweak my lead a bit and keep writing until I got stuck on the ending, which is always the hardest part for me to write.

Sometimes, it just works. You just know. And it writes itself. But other times - like this weekend - it didn't. I knew I should wrap it up with a reference to my lead because it was just that kind of piece, but I still didn't feel confident that I had a killer last sentence.

Then I'd do one last read-through for copy-editing purposes, or hold off until the next day in the case of a really long paper/essay/piece with a looser deadline, and that's about it.

Dust off your hands, we're done!

I blame my prose insecurities on all the job applications I've been writing. The composition style is different, to be sure, and there are certain rules that you more or less have to follow. Writing an article isn't like writing a blog either... Here, I really can just spew out a mumbo-jumbo of thoughts. Form and flow don't really matter... the words just fall into place naturally.

Perhaps the lack of facts made the piece harder to write and a press conference story would have been easy-peasy. In fact, I think I could probably jump back into press conference story writing in a jiffy - and will be for the Vancouver Olympics! - because it's something you just don't forget.

Lead. 5 W. Tell us why we should care. Tell us what we can do/how to follow up. Background info that the editors can cut for space.

That's right, the inverted pyramid is pinned to the corkboard in my mind. Thanks, J-school profs!

But it wasn't applicable in this case, was it?

So... How did I do? I'd really love your feedback, so without further ado, here it is, as published yesterday on The Concordian.com:

The Things You Miss The Most
Going away and not keeping score

By Naila Jinnah

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where your BlackBerry or iPhone doesn’t work? What if you can’t get an Internet connection either? And to top it all off, the TV gets nothing but static!

While this may seem like an ideal scenario for many a sports widow, it’s not so cool for the sports fan.

I recently went to Cuba for a week (boo-hoo, I know!) and while it was relieving to spend some time away from the constant buzz of technology, I did occasionally wonder how the Montreal Canadiens were faring on their annual holiday road trip. And if Team Canada was kicking butt at the World Junior Championship in Saskatchewan. Oh, and hoping that no additional Canadian medal hopefuls had gotten injured in competitions leading up to the Vancouver 2010 Olympic Games.

It is indeed an exciting time for Canadian sports fans, but despite the high concentration of tourists from the True North Strong and Free, no one was talking hockey. There were lots of Habs shirts though, and I think I spotted a few Sens logos. And, in case you were wondering, no, I didn’t see a single Leafs’ fan.

With so many potential breaking sports stories during my time away, it was with great urgency that I turned on my BlackBerry as soon as the plane landed at Pierre Elliot Trudeau International Airport. After about a gazillion incoming message notifications – thankfully, I remembered to turn off my ringer – I immediately went searching for sports news. In times away from the computer, I have found great comfort in receiving my TSN Morning Newsletter on my phone. This was no exception.

One might assume that the first thing I would want to check was the outcome of the Habs games.

Well, you’re right.

However, after scrolling through the NHL scores, I realized that I was most interested in the other stories. The ones that usually make me go “Hmm” in the morning but only click on if the headline really captures my attention. The ones that, most of the time, I don’t necessarily care about reading through to the end and therefore stop paying attention to not long after the lead paragraph. These are the stories that intrigued me.

As it turns out, they were all human interest stories. The torchbearer getting knocked down by protesters in Guelph. Prime Minister Stephen Harper suspending the Canadian Parliament until after the Olympics. Not just the announcement of Team Canada’s men’s hockey roster for the Olympics, but also the reactions of those selected and those left aside. The NHL and the NHLPA actually working together for once to write to the International Ice Hockey Federation about Team Russia’s potential last minute roster changes for the Games. Tiger Woods being voted best athlete of the decade, despite the ongoing controversy in his personal life.

The truth is, most of these stories could make the front page of a newspaper or lead a newscast. There was nothing especially sporty about them, save for the fact that they involved athletic events or personalities. The stories were about politics, business, and law - stories with excitement, betrayal and hope.

They were stories about our lives.

At the beginning of this piece, you probably pictured me as a hockey-obsessed fan that can’t take the risk of disconnecting and unwinding. You probably thought that I was a Leaf-hater, that I don’t watch any news other than Sports 30 and that I can’t stand being without my BlackBerry.

While that last part is probably more accurate than I’d like it to be, the point is that we are all multifaceted people. Sometimes, we forget that there is more to sports than victories and medals, and indeed, that there is more to life than sports. Or rather, sports are just another facet of life.

When I understood that it wasn’t finding out the scores that matters the most but rather reading the stories about people, I realized how much you miss when you take off for a week. Obviously, you don’t get all the live excitement, but most importantly, you miss out on the subtleties of sport, and of life. You miss Tomas Plekanec losing a tooth. You miss the horror of the Olympic flame potentially going out when the torch hits the ground – and it’s all your fault!

What else do you miss? You miss all the things that I can’t tell you about because I wasn’t there when it happened. Did Cindy Klassen grimace and stretch her legs after failing to qualify for the 1,000m speed skating race? I’ll never know.

These are the things you miss the most when your smartphone can’t find a network, you can’t get online, and you can’t find static-free TV.

You miss the moments that help shape peoples’ lives.

-30-

On 2009

2010-01-02T13:15:00.005-05:00

First off, Happy New Year to all!

Good. Now that that's done... I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season. I was fortunate enough to escape the cold Montreal winter for 7 days in Cuba with my parents on the beautiful beach of Varadero. It was a great experience - my first of hopefully many Cuban escapades! - and yes, I've got a great tan.

And what a grand way to cap off 2009!

They say that what you do on New Year's Eve and Day is a prediction for your year. In that case, 2010 will see me feeling lonely in a crowd but ocean and beach-side, traveling, spending good times with family and missing my friends.

Looks like nothing's going to change.

For me, 2009 was a year of self-discovery.

I put an end to some toxic relationships and pulled myself away from some that might have become toxic. I realized that sometimes, it's okay to put "me" first.

I wrote many proposals and started a few projects and didn't get to finish most of them... but that's just business. I applied for a whole lot of jobs, revamped my CV and re-launched my personal brand as a freelance broadcast TV technician, translator, and online branding specialist. And I designed my very first set of business cards!

I learned not to care so much about the actual work but to cherish the moments, opportunities and people I get to work with instead. I also learned my lesson - more than once! - that politics can wreck perfectly functional business relationships and destroy potentially marvelous opportunities.

I picked up the guitar again, got my very own gorgeous (red!) instrument, and have almost mastered Bm, F, and Bb. I spent time in a choir, which helped me re-acquire some of the vocal range I had lost.

I started reading again and learned how to turn off the TV, the computer, and the BlackBerry... without panicking! I re-acquainted myself with the gift of nature and truly fostered my love for the elements, fresh air and trees, despite my allergies. I fell in love with the activities of my childhood: hiking, paddling, cross country-skiing and simply exploring the wonders of the outdoors.

I spent most of the year in a wonderful relationship that left me a better, richer person than at the start of it. I gained a precious friend, and through him, many more great friends and experiences that I will never forget. I remembered how to love, and more importantly, how to be (and feel!) loved.

I did some yoga, then stopped doing yoga when I got too busy. But I will never forget the relaxation and respiration techniques I learned, and in fact, I use them unconsciously when I get stressed out or have been sitting for too long.

I spent lots of time traveling in planes, trains and automobiles: Toronto, Ottawa, Kingston, Cleveland, Niagara Falls, Lake Placid, Kenya, Cuba...

I devoted myself to a cause I strongly believe in and earned a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to see for myself how beneficial my volunteer work - and that of many others before me - truly is, at the ground level. My trip to Africa left me deeply inspired by the hope of a better world and thankful for all that I have and am.

In 2009, I built myself up, higher, faster and stronger than ever before. I picked myself up, time and time again, and struggled with personal and professional aspects of my life. I was unhappy at the surface but happy deep inside. I was angry at life and the world, but felt blessed at the same time. I was presented with a bunch of marvelous opportunities but worked hard to get those offers. I had high hopes for myself and others but was repeatedly turned down and broken down.

If there is anything I learned in 2009, it is to manage my expectations.

Looking ahead, 2010 promises to be full of surprises and blessings. I kicked off the year in Cuba, inspired by the moon, the sun, the sand and the ocean. I will be traveling again in less than a month, going to Vancouver for the Olympic Games. I will make new contacts, new friends, and continue to develop myself, professionally and personally.

I will allow myself to take more time off and spend more time away from the TV and other media. I will continue to read more, focusing this year on all the non-fiction I've been meaning to dig in to.

I will continue to work on being healthier, mentally and physically, and start by simply getting outside more. I will not limit myself with false pretenses and silly excuses but acknowledge my motivations and use them to encourage myself to stay active.

I will laugh more than I have ever laughed. I will live and I will grow. I will cry and be frustrated at times, but that's okay. I will let it all out - privately - then move on. I will enjoy my life, and if I don't, I will take matters into my own hands and make the improvements I seek. I will be the change I want to see in the world.

I will be honest with myself and with others. I will back down when I'm just being stubborn but I won't back down when I am right or defending my rights.

Most importantly, in 2010, I will be happy. I can feel it in my bones, even as I am managing my expectations: whatever happens in the next year, positives and negatives, ups and downs, the sine waves that regulate our lives will leave me with a higher average leading in to 2011. That's not to say that I won't have any deafening lows, but the peaks are sure to make up for that, no?

And so determined, I march in to 2010 with a big smile on my face, because it is sure to be another defining year.

Follow-up: On The Olympic Torch

2009-12-20T23:52:00.003-05:00

The Olympic Torch Run in Kirkland. Love the expression on his face., originally uploaded by NailaJ.

Check out my pictures of the Vancouver 2010 Olympics Torch run in Kirkland, QC. I've also uploaded a couple of videos that will help you re-live the glory of the cool, cool wait for a very special flame.

53 days to go!

30-second movie reviews

2009-12-18T16:53:00.009-05:00

These past few weeks have been full of movie-watching, for some reason. The first time, it was intentionally, with the first ever (soon to be monthly) Retro movie night. The movies won't always be retro, but they will always be flicks you've been dying to see but for some reason, haven't.

That night, we watched "It's A Wonderful Life" and "The Sound of Music". Two classics I had never seen. Then, I saw "Brothers", "Up in the Air", "The Blind Side" and "Avatar" in theatres. Wow. I'm kinda movie'd out, but I really want to see "Fantastic Mr. Fox" this holiday season, as well as "Nine". And I wouldn't say no to "Sherlock Holmes".

So with all that creative buzz flowing in my mind - and in case you're on the fence about seeing some of these films - here are my 30 second movie reviews.

Avatar
Avatar was an incredible tale of hope, full of vivid colours and synaptic beings. Or it would be, if it weren't a sad reflection of our so-called humanity. These kinds of senseless wars and destruction take place around the world, and for what? We haven't learned from our mistakes, even in 2145. We are all inter-connected, whether we feel it daily or not. My heart weeps for all the unnecessary losses of souls.

The Blind Side
The Blind Side filled me with hope for a better world, and it wasn't presented in a cheesy way either. If only we all actually paid attention to the environment around us, the people we live with and their livelihoods, perhaps the world would be a better place. Perhaps we would all be happier. But instead, we choose to turn a blind eye and be selfish, only taking care of ourselves and our own, and even then, we barely do that. There needs to be more people like Leigh Anne Touhy in the world. I wish I could honestly say I was one of them.

Up in the Air
I keep thinking about this movie and the more I do, the more I understand how sad it truly is. I'm an avid traveler and I totally get the airport buzz... And I really enjoyed the ambiguous ending! Up in the Air is a story about humanity and how deep personal connections truly are essential to our happiness, no matter how individualistic we are. It's a story about finding love but not about looking for it. And it's a story about finding your place in the world, figuring out where you belong in all aspects of your life.

Brothers
Wow. What a powerful movie! I cried a bunch of times and I don't usually tear up at movies. What really got to me was how real it was, but with no pretensions or exaggerations. You believe in it, like you would a documentary, but it has all the major elements of a movie too. It's like a really good book... it gives you enough material to become involved in their lives but leaves enough to the imagination as well, so you can fill in the blanks with your own thoughts and experience. A must see!

It's A Wonderful Life
I only loved "It's a Wonderful Life" at the end of the movie. The rest of the time, I simply followed the quest for figuring out what's important in life, and understanding how deeply each individual's actions affect the people around us and the environment we live in. We are all interconnected and we need to keep this in mind when we take actions. Lesson learned: People come first, and when you care about people, truly care, they care about you too.

The Sound of Music
Wow. After finally seeing this, I get why people love it so much. The songs are haunting, as are the sights, and though it's a little bit cheesy, you can truly dream along with the characters... each and every one of them. This is storytelling at its best: it had a little bit of everything: love, hope, passion, faith, fate, hate, action, battle... and an ambiguous resolution that says that these kinds of wars always live on.

Lots of stirring images and thoughts on humanity. What is our purpose in life? And will creative works like movies be what helps us figure it out? Only time will tell...

Stay tuned!

On the Olympic Torch

2009-12-10T14:01:00.003-05:00

Today, I had the great pleasure of seeing the Vancouver 2010 Olympic Torch in full flame.

Wait, that doesn't sound nearly exciting enough.

I SAW THE TORCH!!!

It was very windy, which made it feel very cold, but I was bundled up in some of my favourite winter gear and waited patiently with a big smile on my face... Along with a whole bunch of school kids and quite a few adults, given the 12:49 ETA of the flame.

The atmosphere was electric. The excitement was almost palpable. The kids were chanting eagerly, from the Montreal-favourite "Olé" song to "Go Canada Go!" to their class number, in competition with other classes, of course.

The sponsors, Coca-Cola and RBC, distributed mini-tambourines, flags, and those blow-up noisemakers that have become so common at sporting events and every time a car drove by, whether it was a random commuter or a cop, the crowd became feverish.

Finally, the relay vehicles -which all have cool "Flame 7", "Torch 5", "Relay 4" style license plates - announced that the torch would be showing up in 5 minutes and the crowd-warmer RBC and Coke trucks came by.

Then, someone standing near me yelled out excitedly, "I can see the flame!" And the crowd went wild!

It was such a spectacular moment. Being surrounded by all these strangers, united in our quest to see the flame, to be part of something bigger than us. Hopes and dreams for Canada's success in the upcoming games - and personal achievements too - silently filled the air as we all got our cameras ready and started waving.

And then, I saw his face. I don't know who the first Kirkland torchbearer was, but his face told me everything I needed to know. The pride, the excitement, the joy in his eyes and in his smile was reflected in all of us, young and old. For that one moment, I felt what he felt. For that little bit of time, I felt like an Olympian athlete: proud, excited, accomplished.

And the joy... I don't think anyone could stop smiling. Some people ran after the flame, others stayed and gushed with their friends... My camera battery died due to the cold so I stayed put, but it was worth it. For those quick glimpses of the flame - which at times almost looked like it was going to blow out due to the wind - it was worth it all.

Now, I can really feel the Olympic Spirit. I'm excited, I'm pumped and... I'm going to Vancouver! :D

Eid Mubarak: The one with the sheep

2009-11-29T12:24:00.004-05:00

This week, Muslims around the world celebrated Eid al-Adha, or as I like to call it, "The one with the sheep".

It's a traditional sacrifice story which is shared in all three religions of the book (Christianity, Judaism and Islam). Prophet Ibrahim, or Abraham, is called upon to sacrifice what is most dear to him, in this case, his son. At the ultimate moment, God declares that Abraham has accomplished his duty by his intention to sacrifice his son and replaces said son with a sheep.

And then there was a feast with the sacrificial lamb as the centerpiece.

For more on this, check out The Ismaili's writeup on the Festival of Sacrifice.

For Muslims, this is kind of the Thanksgiving equivalent. Coincidentally, the lunar and solar calendars matched up this year so that Eid al-Adha fell around American Thanksgiving. Now, we've already been through all the gazillions of things I'm thankful for, but in honour of the sheep, here's another:

I am thankful for life. With its ups and downs, confusions, tears and all, there's nothing more precious to me than life. Especially when you truly take the time to enjoy the little things. Oh, and giggle a lot. Which I do. A lot.

On that note... Eid Mubarak, Happy (American) Thanksgiving, and may the Christmas-Hanukkah-Kushiali holiday season begin!

Just a few bites...

2009-11-21T13:26:00.006-05:00

What are you doing this weekend?

It's been a while since I've updated, and because you're all dying to know what I've been up to (and assuming you don't follow me on Twitter), I figured I might as well type up a new post. Especially since I get to start with something tasty!!

Cupcake Camp Montreal! You've probably heard of the concept: it's a fundraiser organized entirely by volunteers who use Twitter to get the local community involved in the cause through a fun activity. In this case, cupcakes! Who doesn't like yummy cupcakes? It's too late to sign up to be a baker at this weekend's event (I'm sorry, I procrastinated!), but you can still show up and support this first annual (?) Montreal event. This year's charity is Kids Help Phone, and if you can't show up, you can donate online. The event takes place Nov 22, from 2pm to 4pm at Restaurant Bitoque and $10 gets you through the door with 3 cupcakes and a coffee. And if you need more convincing, check out this awesome animated promo video:
On a more personal note, remember my whole H1N1 kick? Yeah, guess who got the flu? It's pretty ironic too! In the evening of Monday, November 9, I learned that Quebec had accelerated its swine flu vaccination programme and I was now eligible to get my shot! I made plans to go the next afternoon but instead woke up with the flu -.- Of course, I can't be sure that it was H1N1, especially since they are no longer testing for it, so I'm going to get vaccinated anyway... just in case.

In other news, I booked my flights for the Vancouver Olympics! I really wanted to rack up the Aeroplan miles, but Air Canada just didn't compare to WestJet, so I cut my losses and went with the more flexible, cheaper itinerary. Of course, I would have flown Porter if I could have! I also thought about taking the Canadian train across the Rockies, but as much as I love VIA Rail, I'm pretty sure that that trip is best done with company. Plus, after working away from home for a month, I know I'm just going to want to get to my bedroom, my bed, my space. So flying it is!

I've been reading a wonderful book series suggested to me by J.T., the wonderful author behind The H does NOT stand for Habs. I'm sure you've all heard about it by now (I'm kinda late to this game). The first book was called "Outlander" and it's written by Diana Gabaldon. WOW! I can't wait to go to sleep and immerse myself in Jamie and Claire's world! If you're looking for a series that will captivate you like Ken Follet's Pillars of the Earth/World Without End, or even like Harry Potter did way back when, you have got to try this one out. The series is up to seven books with the release of An Echo in the Bone, and so far, it's totally worth it. I'm on book 3, Voyager. Trust me. Twilight doesn't even compare!

Apart from that, I've got a whole lot of translations to do thanks to end-of-year budgets. I can't complain! It'll make for a nice chunk of Christmas cash. Speaking of which, I'm almost done my holiday shopping! Are ya jealous?

And World Partnership Walk season is almost underway... We've got our first few meetings this weekend and the next. Are you looking for a cause you truly can commit to? What about improving the lives and livelihoods of some of the poorest people in the world by empowering them to invest in sustainable community development? Whether it's in education, health, rural support, civil society, the environment or gender issues, the Aga Khan Development Network does just that. And by volunteering for the World Partnership Walk (or Partnerships in Action walks in the US), you're helping to make a difference in the world. A real difference, since 100% of the funds raised by these walks go directly to supporting Aga Khan Foundation Canada projects, which are non-denominational, by the way. Drop me a line if you want to get involved! Even if you're in another city, I'll hook you up with the right people!

And that's about it for my roundup! Don't forget, you can get more tasty little bites at Cupcake Camp Montreal, tomorrow!

See you there!

On Linking

2009-11-07T12:26:00.002-05:00

I am a sponge. I absorb knowledge and I can't stop sucking it all in, even when I'm full. It's an unquenchable thirst, a never ending search.

People say I post cool links. Whether it's on Twitter, on Facebook or by email, they laugh, cry and wonder along with the variety of stories I help them discover. The truth is, as with anything else in life that is successful, I have a little help from my friends.

I don't find all these stories by myself - I'd never sleep! No, instead I rely on a well-knit network of sources who provide me with the most interesting articles in their niche and other stories that tickle their fancy.

Back in the days before Twitter, I did a lot more link exploring than I do now, but mostly because I wasn't satisfied with just the stories my Facebook friends posted (no offence!). My RSS feeds weren't enough to keep me occupied either. So I browsed Yahoo! News -gotta love their oddities section! - and clicked through Propeller and other sites I stumbled upon through previously linked stories.

But Twitter! Ah, Twitter changed everything! Now I have access to a wealth of stories in all kinds of interesting fields and - dare I say it? - sometimes too many articles to read! I often end up simply browsing before retweeting or Facebook posting, and then I'm forced to awkwardly add a belated comment on the story. (The secret is out!)

Still, I do end up reading everything I post, though certain links sometimes remain on my desktop all day or taunt me annoyingly from a perpetually open browser window.

At least I've evolved from my early Facebook years, when I felt almost compelled to post nearly every story I came across. It's a wonder my friends didn't de-friend me for spamming them with links! (Although in those days I guess they didn't really have to see them if they didn't want to).

I've often thought of turning this obsession into a potentially profitable venture. Why not collect all the cool stories I find and turn my blog into a news wire of sorts? Because then I would be forced to comment on each and every link when some of them deserve nothing more than a "Heh. Interesting." or are posted more for general knowledge than life-enhancing purposes.

Someone recently suggested to me that I might use my link-finding talents while hosting a radio show. Sure, that could be fun. But then the pressure of finding cool, creative and original stories each and every day would definitely take the enjoyment out of it. And who needs all that extra stress?

The fact remains that I post stories because I'm interested in them or because I think people should know about them. It is a truly selfish endeavour, at once feeding my incessant need to know (NOW!) and making me look fairly sociable - not to mention knowledgeable!

So while I have my reasons for retweeting and reposting, I am left with a feeling of emptiness at the end of the day, when my prolific sharing has resulted in no interesting conversations or additional sharing by others. Which is why I always appreciate the "likes" on Facebook... Simple and to the point: it can loosely be translated into a "This is cool, thanks for posting!"

And since I post mostly for me (now that I've gotten over my awkward Facebook adolescence stage), it always warms my heart to hear someone say in a private conversation when I'm starting to think no one is reading: "I really enjoy all the links you post." These comments are always exquisitely timed and give me a renewed enthusiasm for sharing what I think is cool with my little slice of the world.

But I wonder... Why do you post links?

P.S.: You're welcome.

Local TV Matters vs. Stop the TV Tax

2009-10-30T12:40:00.024-04:00

Can't decide whether to save local TV or stop the TV tax?

That might be because both sides are broadcasting ambiguous messages.

I think we can all agree that local TV matters. Local news is where we get information about the things, people and institutions that surround us. Local entertainment programming allows talented Canadian individuals to shine, whether it's in front of the camera or behind the scenes. Local TV gives us, the locals, a platform to express our thoughts and ideas about the things that matter to us.

And yet, we can't help but agree with some of the rebuttal from the Stop the TV tax campaign. With the Local TV Matters campaign constantly reminding us of the November 2 deadline to help save local TV, I thought now would be a perfect time to put the arguments from both sides head-to-head.

So here goes.

1. "Why don't cable and satellite providers already pay for local television signals?" & "What is 'Negotiation for Value'?" vs. "Cable companies steal local television signals, then sell them to customers" & "The big networks deserve to be paid for their television signals"

Yes, it's true. Cable and satellite providers don't pay for local TV signals. But this has always been the case, mostly because TV started as an over-the-air broadcast, meaning anyone who was able to capture the signal (Oh hello, bunny ears!) had access to the content. However, most of that content was created locally or at least, somewhere locally across that network. These days, local programming consists mostly of news and current affairs shows, and even that's put together with a national perspective. The rest of the content is purchased from distributors, whether it's documentary, reality TV or entertainment production company. And we've seen an increase in the American-based content being purchased to air on our local stations.

Yes, broadcasters deserve to receive some sort of payment for the content they provide, because it then provides added value to the cable companies that distribute said content. For example, the only channel in Canada where you can catch Dexter is The Movie Network. If Rogers were to have the exclusive carriage of The Movie Network, and Dexter was your favourite show (and assuming you're not one to download TV shows or stream online), you would probably opt for a Rogers cable package instead of the other cable companies' offering.

Cable companies pay for specialty TV stations. Obviously, they must see some value in their investment. Do they not believe that local TV is as valuable? They carry the channels, so clearly, they must think they have some value. And please, don't use the "over-the-air" excuse. Times have changed. All TV signals will be digital only by August 2011, so no one will be able to capture those old analogue signals.

Conclusion: Cable companies get free content from the broadcasters (who pay for theirs) and should pay up.
Cable distributors should have to purchase the rights to carry a station. This would then provide additional funding for local producers and talent to get paid by local stations for producing original content that's relevant to the local community.

2. "Why are Canada's television broadcasters concerned about the future of local television?" & "Why don't broadcasters just invest more in local programming?" vs. "Canada's big networks invest heavily in local programming" & "the new tax will prevent closure of local stations" & "Cable and satellite providers do not believe in local television"

This is a tough one. Both sides are right. Both sides are also wrong.

Canada's television broadcasters already invest heavily in local programming, including Rogers, also a distributor. The problem is that local programming is so much more expensive than ready-made, produced-elsewhere (or nationally) programming: no HR, no production assistants, no insurance fees or crew salaries... The production expenses add up quickly. As for local news? It takes staff to put together the stories you want to hear. All the recent cuts mostly affect local stations, who see their workload remain the same (or sometimes increase!), while having less resources to reach the targets set by their networks. Something's gotta give.

Yet, there is no assurance than any additional fees given to broadcasters will be distributed to local stations. I'm sure it will trickle down in the long run, but on a day-to-day level, nothing's going to change for the hard-working staff in your local newsrooms. There won't be any innovative new programmes. No additional young doc-makers will see their footage to air.

Local broadcasters say they will negotiate with the CRTC exactly how much should be spent where. But if the goal of this fee is to save local TV, shouldn't local TV get all the money? Ah, bureaucracy!

Meanwhile, cable and satellite providers will simply pass on the additional costs to me and to you, the customers. And don't forget the taxes. At least the providers are being honest... They have no intention of actually paying for the local programming, if they're ordered to pay up by the CRTC. They will simply charge us again, which means we will be paying for the same content twice. And they say they truly care about offering us local programming. How underhanded!

Rogers is the only cable provider that is also a broadcaster. Yes, they care about local TV and air regional programming, which makes all of this even more odd, as they might actually save from not having to pay themselves for local TV programming, while all the other providers will pay them for the programming they say they produce anyway. They have nothing to lose! Even after paying for other local stations. If anything, they'd simply break even.

Conclusion: The CRTC must order the fee to be payed directly by the cable and satellite distributors and minutely monitor how the networks invest it in local TV. Do your job and regulate already!
The CRTC should not only order cable and satellite distributors to pay up for local content, they should make it illegal for them to pass this fee along to their customers or hike up their fees without valid reason in order to weasel out of paying for the product they provide. Also, the networks should be forced to spend this new income on local programming and should have to prove it by an annual audit of their financial records, showing that each and every cent collected was actually spent on producing local TV, whether it's on additional crew salaries, purchasing a locally-made documentary, or buying new cameras for the newsroom.

3. "I've noticed in the news that some people have referred to the issue as broadcasters wanting a bailout. Is this true?" & "Why can't broadcasters use the profits from their specialty stations to support local conventional stations?" vs. "Cable and satellite distributors earn billions in profits, but broadcasters are going broke" & "Cable and satellite providers pocket 70% of your bill" & "This is a 'one-time' fee to support local television to help them cope with lower advertising revenues"

First of all, the networks aren't claiming that this is a one-time fee, so you can take that one off your myth list. Nice try, though.

Guess what? Some broadcasters do want a bailout! (ahem, Canwest?). But this has nothing to do with the current discussion, which was a long time coming. Broadcasters are going broke, it's true, and that's a whole other discussion and a complicated one at that. You can't compare public and private broadcasters, for one. CBC's issue is that it doesn't get enough funding and isn't allowed to take advantage of all the advertising opportunities that other networks have. Of course, advertising is not working out so well for the private broadcasters either. Still, a business is a business and as much as media and journalism is important to the proper functioning of a society, you've got to take your responsibilities and own up to your failures. If you can't balance the books, you shouldn't be running a business.

However, the fees paid by the cable and satellite companies would contribute to turning the reds into blacks, and it's only fair to get paid for your work. Advertising alone no longer supports the costs of running a media company, and the free online content customers demand also comes at a cost to the broadcasters. Similarly, specialty stations make enough profit to be self-sustainable and more, but not enough to sustain sister conventional stations. And as always, you've got to consider the administrative costs too.

The cable and satellite companies claim that they're not as rich as the networks would make it seem and make most of their money from other ventures, namely as internet providers. And they charge us, the customers, disproportionately large sums of money for those services too. Sure, less than 6% goes to profits, but they're still taking that claimed 70% off our bills to pay for their expenses. Oh, and that "tiny 1%" profit they make is based on millions of dollars and ends up being not so tiny. They're not the victims here. Neither side is.

Conclusion: Suck it up and stop playing dead. Both of you.
The fact is that the cable television industry is reinventing itself and there will be tough times, especially in a harsh economical climate. The cable and satellite companies are trying to shy away from a change that should have been imposed ages ago, but because of the CRTC's poor understanding of the new face of the industry, they've managed to escape unscathed until now.

This so-called tax isn't a magical solution. It won't fix anything, but it might patch things up enough for local TV to re-invent itself successfully.... if the networks actually commit to it and listen to what the local community wants from its local stations.

Throughout this campaign, Local TV Matters and Stop the TV Tax have acted like rivaling siblings who will pick a fight about anything and everything just because. They're running to mom (aka the CRTC) at every twist and turn, wanting to be proclaimed the winner.

Well, guess what? No one's right, and no one's wrong. Stop bickering and whining and start getting along. The real issue here is mom, who is in serious need of parenting classes.

The CRTC needs to emerge from the dark ages, look around, and realize that the world is different, but that's okay. It needs to come to terms with the past and understand the present so it can properly plan for the future. Hip hop might not be its favourite musical styling, but that's what the kids are into these days. Like a good parent, it needs to accept its children's differences and that their modern world is different from its own experience. The CRTC needs to force the television broadcasters and the cable and satellite providers to work together and create a broadcasting environment that is truly the best for all Canadians.

So let's all agree that local TV matters, and stop the TV tax from being another completely irrelevant and mostly ineffective CRTC decision.

Stay tuned...

Update on the #H1N1 (aka swine flu) vaccine

2009-10-28T17:23:00.003-04:00

Since blogging about the H1N1 vaccine, I have come across several other sources making strong arguments against getting the swine flu vaccine, as well as additional sources debunking those arguments. All this research has made me seriusly re-think my willingness to get inoculated. With all the mixed messages out there, no wonder we're so confused!

Here are some links that you MUST read, no matter which side of the fence you're on (with thanks to my friends who pointed them out):

"What's the Danger of Swine Flu Vaccinations?" - Written by Dr. Anders Bruun Laursen for the Centre for Research for Globalization, based in Montreal, QC. The article is dated August 20, 2009, and though I hadn't heard of this centre before, it seems pretty credible, especially when you consider the next article.

"Ingredients Found in Spermicides, Cleaners, and Cosmetics along with Thimerosal, and Squalene Present in Experimental H1N1 Vaccine" (Waaaaaah!?) - Written by Jeffry John Aufderheide for VacTRUTH, a source I would be less confident to trust if it weren't for all the well-referenced research. Dated September 11, 2009.

Both these articles were written a while ago, so one would hope that changes have been made. However, I don't recall anything about these concerns being addressed by the media (who are supposed to be a trusted source of information for us, asking the questions we cannot ask). At least, not in Canada.

CBCnews.ca has at least tried to address the issue most Canadians are dealing with in this next article:

"The vaccination debate: To be jabbed or not", dated October 28, 2009. It looks at both sides of the story, featuring interviews with two doctors who have varying opinions and is a must read for a clear and concise understanding of the main issues in this debate.

Except, of course, it doesn't directly address all of the issues raised in the previously posted two articles. It does, however, point us to the following article:

"Swine flu myth: The vaccine isn't safe - it has been rushed through tests and the last time there was a swine flu scare the vaccine hurt people. Why take the risk to prevent mild flu?", written by Deborah MacKenzie and published on October 21, 2009 in New Scientist Magazine and on their website.

If you scroll down to the comments, you'll notice people complaining about the squalene in the vaccines. Another commentator then points out that squalene is in olive oil and a bunch of other ingredients we ingest on a daily basis, and produced by our bodies, as explained in this US-based resource on the anthrax vaccine.

Some very smart people read New Scientist... and now I'm more confused than ever. What I would like is an in-depth interview by the CBC (or another similarly trusted broadcaster - seeing how officials react to tough questions is definitely a bonus here) with Canada's chief public health doctor, Dr. David Butler-Jones, should directly address the concerns of Canadians. Namely,

What exactly is squalene and in what dosage is it harmful?
How is Canada planning to follow-up on the effectiveness of the vaccine (trials, etc)?
What about these other toxic substances said to be included in the vaccine?

Who's with me?!

On H1N1 (aka Swine Flu)

2009-10-27T16:03:00.014-04:00

Peter Budaj has swine flu. That's right, even NHLers like the Colorado Avalanche goaltender are at risk.

Will NHL players and staff be getting the H1N1 vaccine?

Although the NHL and other sports leagues are said to be monitoring the situation, they have yet to release any widespread policy on the matter. I assume each NHL team will be following the advice of its doctors. But why should NHLers get the H1N1 vaccine? After all, they don't usually get the seasonal flu shot either.

Here are a few reasons why I think NHL players and staff, and YOU should get the H1N1 vaccine.

It tends to affect otherwise healthy and younger individuals. Like professional hockey players.
It's a pandemic that's spread more easily through close contact and in contained spaces. Like locker rooms, team buses and airplanes.
It can spread pretty rapidly, even through carriers who might not get sick. In the case of an NHL team, think of the thousands of employees who work in a building like the Bell Centre, from hockey staff to administration to concessions to broadcast TV technicians and reporters. That's a lot of people to potentially infect, and they in turn can infect all of their friends and families.
Getting swine flu blows. I have yet to see a comment from someone who's had swine flu recommending for people NOT to get the vaccine. Even the mild cases can leave you bed-ridden for approximately 5 days. As much fun as it can be to play hooky, who wants to be stuck sick in bed for that long?

Heck, even health officials for the Vancouver 2010 Olympics are encouraging all athletes, staff and volunteers to get inoculated!

Yesterday, I posted a story about H1N1 vaccines and prevention on my Facebook page, stating that I am going to get vaccinated as soon as I can (Nov. 23) because I have a chronic illness (asthma). Immediately, comments started pouring in from people from different demographics, discussing why they would or wouldn't be getting the shot.

One has a needle phobia. Understandable. I've gotten used to getting pricked, but for most people, it's no fun. However, she also lives in a dorm. Again, close contact increases the chances of getting infected. Even if your whole network gets vaccinated, they might still be carriers of the disease and you, without the proper antibodies to fight off H1N1, can still get sick.

One family doesn't usually get the seasonal flu shot and won't be getting this one either. Not because it's not effective, really, but mostly because it's just been developed. What about long term side-effects? Medical experts and health officials have confirmed that the H1N1 vaccine is very much like the seasonal flu vaccines and side-effects should be just as limited.

What about Guillain-Barré syndrome? This auto-immune response is said to have caused deaths in the previous round of vaccinations against an influenza similar to H1N1 decades ago. However, the chances of getting Guillain-Barré syndrome are approximately 1 per 100,000, whether or not you actually get vaccinated. Plus, if you've ever been vaccinated against meningitis, which most of us have, you've already taken the risk of developing this disease.

There are reportedly nurses at a Canadian hospital that have refused to get the vaccine. If a case of H1N1 breaks out on their floor, they will all be sent home. Why wouldn't they get vaccinated? It's a personal choice and I'm sure they have their reasons. Still, by not getting inoculated, I feel that they are being irresponsible, putting their patients at risk and reducing the availability of health care professionals in the case of a local pandemic.

One person mentioned that his father is a doctor and has helped him dispel some of the confusion. He always gets his seasonal flu shot and will be getting the H1N1 vaccine as well. The one-in-a-million chance of complications from the vaccine goes head-to-head with a one-in-ten chance of complications from H1N1, he says. As he points out, the vaccine is tested, is safe, and the potential side-effects are minimal compared to the impact of swine flu on your health.

I might not always get my seasonal flu shot, but I always plan to. Even if you don't usually consider getting the seasonal vaccine, you should consider getting the H1N1 vaccine. It's a different strain and it affects different types of people than you'd usually expect. And sure, there's been hype over the numbers of swine flu-related deaths and the pandemic state of the disease. But the fact remains that swine flu is much tougher on your body, even if you are healthy.

Everyone's entitled to their opinion, to be sure, but take the time to research the facts on the vaccine for yourself. Don't just listen to what everyone else is saying. Talk to your doctor, but remember that his or her personal opinion will also affect his/her professional opinion.

Only you can make this decision. It's your life, your future, your well-being. Don't screw up.

On the new #CBC News Network

2009-10-26T14:20:00.012-04:00

So, what do you think?

Personally, I like the new CBC News Network, overall. I like the fonts, I like the colours, I like the feel... but.

There is a "but".

I don't like the casual feel of CBC NN.

Let me explain.

I know Jennifer McGuire says that's what Canadians want from CBC. The new jingles? Yes, they're catchy. In a Euro pop kinda way. But some of them dismiss the seriousness of the headlines. They make me feel like I'm watching CNN. And I have many a bone to pick with CNN.

I'm not sure what the point is to having a "news now" block graph in your lower third... Or the CBC logo, for that matter. I miss my transparent bug: it's a much less cluttered look and still does the job branding-wise. There's a reason I'm watching CBC instead of CTV's Canada AM or CP24 (if it were available in Quebec!)

And the scrolling headlines? They no longer scroll! It took a while, but I've gotten used to it. Unfortunately, I find that the information contained in the scrolls is not as complete as it used to be.

The weather lower third is useful, sure, but all day long? At least give us a more relevant forecast like Now, Later, Tonight. Or something along those lines. Not Now, Tuesday and Wednesday. I can get that information online or on the Weather Network.

Speaking of the weather... Pointing to a giant screen (how much did those cost, by the way?) seems ineffective so far. I miss my swirling weather maps, and I bet the meteorologists feel insecure at no longer being in control of the switching. I'm glad they're alternating with the green screen instead of making it all big screen.

I do love the set. I like the clean lines and open space: it matches the crisp fonts and bold wipes. I think some anchors are really embracing the standing up news-telling and it fits them well - especially Carol MacNeil. I'm also glad to hear, via a tweet by Hill reporter Rosemary Barton, that they don't really have to stand if they don't want to. Plus, the anchors are seated when interviewing in-studio guests.

More on the set: I love that Entertainment and Business and all that stuff is now in studio. I like the hits from across the newsroom, but I really do wish the camera was on a tripod instead of handheld. It looks amateur, not trendy.

I don't like seeing a reporter on the big screen behind the anchor. It diminishes the anchor (literally and otherwise!) and is way too CNN for my liking.

I know CBC will be working out the kinks for the next few days -like segment wipes with audio timing - and I hope they take our feedback and truly make it a network for Canadians.

Again, there's a but. I have a big problem with all these changes. As much as I like them (see below for more on that), it puts extra pressure on the already strained local workforce. The local crews not only have to deal with extended 1.5h newscasts, it now also has to put on a nightly newscast. And those will be live, not pre-taped.

And although the extended local newscasts are very repetitive with 3 nearly identical blocks at 5pm, 5:30pm and 6pm, the producers and reporters are still overworked, trying to make the content seem original or putting together multiple versions of the same package. With all the added workload and the smaller workforce, it's no wonder the reporters trip on their words during their live fronts. And yet, there's no added value for the viewers. In fact, we don't even notice. As one of my CBC friends puts it, "It's more work for less people, with a shiny cover put over it to make us all feel better."

But there are some positives:

I like that new stories are introduced on the 2pm newscast. Who needs to hear the same packs all day?
I like repeat in-depth interviews with guests like CBC's Defence specialist Bill Gillespie. Give me more extracts from that and less of this morning's pack.
I like variations on the same story, ie the H1N1 virus/vaccine. Not just the clinics opening and the US story, but also the pregnant couple who needs to find a new pre-natal class.
I like Carol asking a Toronto hospital official if they've over-hyped the pandemic. That's CBC bringing us into the news-making process.
I like Anne-Marie Mediwake as my mid-morning anchor. She looks right at home on the set.
I like the breaking news reporter, even though she's stuck in the newsroom. It adds a different voice to the mix.
I like that Your View or Your Voice or whatever it used to be called is now simply POV. Much easier to remember.
I like the new accompanying websites for The National, Connect with Mark Kelley, World Report, and Politics & Power. They've got great cross-platform integration features.

I love that the anchors now throw to each other between shows. No more awkward "hey, where'd she go?"
I'm in love with the yellow in the fonts. Bright! Happy! A bit of positivity in an often negative news cycle.
I love Colleen Jones' style on the story of the day... She makes it personable and shows us how it relates to us.
I love how well Carol fits in to the redesign. It's like it was made for her.

I still wish CBC would make it easier to find News Network stories online, and put them up there quicker. I can't wait for their "make your own lineup" feature. I hope it's easy to share and doesn't apply exclusively to The National.

I also wish they would cut to developing stories even without tape, especially if they have that breaking news reporter on air instead of one on the scene. If not, make mention of it, and say you're going to follow up on it. A good example? Today's House of Commons climate change flash protest. It was tweeted by a CBC reporter 20 minutes before CBC NN made any mention of it at all. The information wasn't right, but you can safely report the fact that the protest is happening.

And I wish there were more sports... Apart from Jeff Marek's new morning show sports segment, there is barely any sports content throughout the day. I understand that it's not developing news, but neither is entertainment, and at least it would mix it up a bit. It wouldn't be that difficult to put together a template for moving from a recap kind of pack to a preview pack as the day progresses, and hey! Maybe even add in some sports business news, like today's NHL/bankruptcy court action in Phoenix.

And so while I like the new CBC News Network overall, all of these changes haven't really improved news content, have they?

PS: Follow my tweets on this and other topics at http://twitter.com/nailaj.

Only the Lonely

2009-10-25T18:59:00.008-04:00

I had an absolutely wonderful weekend.

A bunch of my friends and fellow Habs fans from various places in North America congregated to Montreal so we could all enjoy a couple of days of hockey, friendship and good food.

And it was fabulous. From the tunes on Friday night, to hockey pool picks on Saturday afternoon, to a delicious Italian dinner and, of course, Habs vs. Rangers at the Bell Centre at 7pm, we all had a ball.

And now, I'm sad.

I'm sad because my friends have left town and this city I call home feels a little bit colder now that they're gone. Even on this beautiful sunny Sunday with its crisp autumn air (and winds gusting up to 50km/h!!), I felt lonelier than on those previous bone-chilling, wet, rainy days.

With all the turbulence in my friendships in recent times, from those that ended because of lack of commitment or a misunderstanding, to those that turned out to be less substantial than I thought they were, to the one-sided friendships, and the relationships that have become simply friendships... Well, it's sure been a lot to take in. I have learned a lot, grown from my experience, and am ready to move on.

But having all these wonderful people around for the past couple of days, real friends, who care about you in the good times and the bad, who check up on you even with an email or chat, who only see you once a year yet know you so well...

These are the friendships I cherish the most. These are the friendships I am so blessed to have. These are the friendships that leave a void. These are the friendships that only the lonely know.

(Incidentally, you can read the excellent Habs-related rants and raves of one of my aforementioned friends at The H does NOT stand for Habs).

On Indexing

2009-10-14T18:10:00.007-04:00

When I decided to change my blog URL, I thought I had it made. I was finally ready to go from the unsophisticated, now defunct http://starshinediva.blogspot.com to the more professional http://nailaj.blogspot.com.

"NailaJ" also fit in with my "new" personal online branding as it matched my Twitter and Flickr handles. When I realized that I couldn't change my Flickr URL, I was disappointed, but I didn't think it was that big of a deal.

That's when I discovered the intricacies of search engine indexing.

Though I was always more or less aware of how sites got added to search engines, I forgot to take the lack of indexing into consideration when I switched URLs. I went from having having a respectable minimum amount of incoming traffic daily to almost no blog hits. For the longest time (give or take a week), I couldn't figure out why. (Not that I particularly value accidental 30-second clicks!)

That's when I noticed my keyword stats. Google and Yahoo! were no longer sending users my way (except for a couple of hits from Google.fi). Why? Well, even though I worked hard to establish my blog and presence online, indexing is still a primitive technology and couldn't see that I was still me, just... under another name and in a different place.

All my pride at my blog being the first search result for "Naila Jinnah"? Gone. Now, I've resorted to hoping that people will click on my Twitter feed, look under the bio, and stumble upon my blog, or find me through LinkedIn. It's no longer easy for employers to simply look me up. My social media/online branding credibility? Also greatly reduced.

Hopefully, my online involvement and activities will help boost my worth in Google's eyes and I'll return to my former blog glory... name recognition included.

Stay tuned...

PS: Maisonneuve re-posted my blog "On Hand Washing". How cool is that?

Giving Thanks

2009-10-11T10:32:00.004-04:00

This weekend is Canadian Thanksgiving. Which differs by other Thanksgiving celebrations only by date, as the concept remains the same.

What do I have to give thanks for?

Well, after a tumultuous week that involved a lot of disillusionment in the spheres of love, friendship, and professional advancement, it has been tough for me to smile and laugh as much as I usually do. And the rainy days didn't help.

Still, I have much to be thankful about.

I have a roof over my head, food in my belly, and really, it's not all bad. I don't worry about how I will survive the next day, if I'll still be alive in a month, or if my parents'll get mugged on the way home from work.

I lead a pretty good life, and as much as this past week has been trying, I cannot honestly say that I was ever in danger of not getting through it.

I am disappointed in many ways, but that's just the way the dice rolls. I truly believe that everything in life happens for a reason, and though it is sometimes tough to remember that when one door closes another opens - especially when you're in the thick of it all! - I know that with a little bit of patience, time and understanding, I'll be back to my old self in no time. I'll be more than okay. I'll be fantastic. It'll be great.

So on this weekend when we take the time to be thankful, I would like to count my blessings. Thank you for my home and my family, thank you for true friends and honesty, thank you for warmth and comfort, for the chirping birds, the shinning sun, the rustling leaves and the trees, the wind, the water, the earth and fire. Thank you for the ability to smell, touch, taste, hear and see. Thank you for the opportunities I have, the privileges I have been given, and the gifts I have received that allow me to function the way I do, to be the way I am... thank you for making me "me".

Thanks for making me laugh and smile, thank you for my health and that of those who are important to me. Thank you for the little joys in life, for giggling babies and happy brides, for mind-blowing TV shows and exciting movies, for music that moves you and books that teach as they entertain you. Thanks for my guitar and my piano because they can get me through anything and everything. Thank you for enabling me to see the positive in everything, for the sound that skates make when they cut into the ice, for cheeky monkeys and sneezing pandas, for hissing red squirrels and whispering seashells, the stars in the sky and the clouds that bring rain, new discoveries and getting over pain. Thanks for making the universe as crazily amazing as it is. Thank you for all the other things I can't name...

And most importantly, thank you for the love, hope and inspiration that's a part of my daily life. Thank you for making me see that there's a higher power out there than me. Thank you for hugging me when I need to be comforted, even if it's just by the wind or only in my imagination.

While so many other people in the world suffer, thank you for giving me everything I'll ever need. On this day, and every day, through the good times and the bad, may I always remember how fortunate I truly am.

(And thank you to those who always take the time to read!)

Vancouver, here I come!

2009-09-30T12:51:00.003-04:00

This week, I received some news that had me jumping up and down in my seat. And then on my feet.

This week, I received an automatic email.

It advised me that I had been selected to volunteer for the Vancouver 2010 Olympic Games as an ONS Reporter.

Woohoo!

Some of you might know that working the 2010 Games have been a dream of mine since, well, since Canada and Vancouver were announced as its host.

I have been waiting and waiting, checking and double-checking, and not one to leave such an important dream up to fate, I've been applying for straight-up paid jobs with VANOC, trying to get on the broadcast team from the host and domestic side, and all to no avail.

Because it was written in the stars, volunteering was how I would accomplish my 2010 destiny.

Can you tell I'm excited? Even my writing is poetic!

As I await more details on my schedule and other logistics, I will continue to stay up-to-date with the latest on everything 2010. Call it research for my position, which includes getting quotes from athletes, writing bios and briefs and event updates, and all around assisting the Olympic News Service team in getting the info out to the press centres for other journalists and broadcasters to use in their work.

With glowing hearts... Vancouver, here I come!

On hand washing

2009-09-09T13:05:00.001-04:00

A few days ago, when Canadian children started school, various health officials underlined the importance of proper hygiene in the classroom. These tips and precautions were distributed because of the H1N1 swine flu scare. However, it's probably good advice to follow at all times.

In Kenya, a similar campaign is underway. It's a constant struggle to educate children about the proper hand washing techniques as well as when one should scrub: before meals, after using the washroom, etc. This is especially true for the rural regions of Mombasa, where a water sanitation & hand washing awareness project was implemented.

One of the problems in this situation is the lack of education at home. Parents and other family members don't understand the need for proper hand washing to reduce the spread of disease. Obviously, when your water is scarce and its source is far, washing your hands is the last thing on your mind. It's more important to use water to cook, drink, and of course, feed the animals and water the plants... it's a priority thing. You can't lose your sole source of income to drought.

But drought or no drought, the Coastal Rural Support Programme, funded by the Aga Khan Development Network and run by the Aga Khan Foundation Kenya, strives to educate the children, because that's their way in to the rest of the family. Informal local studies have shown that the kids actually bring home the things they learn at school and tell their parents what's important and why. They get used to a certain standard of living and want to improve their lifestyle at home as well. This applies to prevention as much as to other tough issues, health-related or not.

As the CRSP(K) representatives informed us, the number 1 priority in rural communities is always water. When they visit different villages, the first request they get is water related. However, CRSP is not a service provider. It's a facilitator. Its motto is "Sombeza", which means "boost". This is their goal: Help people help themselves. This is a key principle of AKDN as well.

Fortunately, this programme doesn't require too many resources. In terms of human resources, CRSP is able to train administrators and teachers in the rural schools so that they can take charge of the local initiative and monitor it effectively. The project is sustainable, as most schools have some source of water, whether it's natural or purchased. In order to keep it low cost and effective, schools hang up tubs containing still water off trees in key areas: in the school yard where children eat and right in front of the outdoor bathrooms.

Keep in mind, these are regions where bathrooms consist of latrines, some of which no longer have doors. The school we visited benefited from another CRSP project that saw them build 3 additional so-called VIP latrines per gender, which are wider and have blocks on either side of the hole for easier squatting. This doubled the school's capacity: now boys and girls each have 6 stalls in which they can do their dirty business.

Here's a little perspective: there are 1300 students at this school.

Assuming a 50-50 gender split, that means 650 students for 6 latrines, or 108 people per latrine. Taking into account multiple uses per day and villagers that might wander down to use the facilities, that's a big boost!

*Old latrine*

*New latrine*

The waste from these latrines is contained in a landfill a few steps away and covered with old tin roofs, so there's obviously still a lot of work to be done in terms of proper hygiene and sanitation. And yes, it stinks!

With this school water sanitation project, CRSP has a community-wide impact. Because of the children's persistence in bringing the information they learn at school to their homes, the whole family gains a better understanding of the factors at play. According to the nurses at the regional dispensary, which is conveniently located just across the street, there has been a 50% reduction in water-born illnesses since the water sanitation project was implemented.

This is a battle that is far from over, but washing your hands is a good place to start.

So as we tell our kids in North America to "scrub for 30 seconds and don't forget between your fingers", let's also remember the African children, learning the same lessons, even though they are hundreds of thousands of miles away and living in a different reality.

These are good hygiene principles to have no matter where you live, and it's a shame we don't practice what we preach.

For now, lather, scrub and... stay tuned!

Taking care of business

2009-09-08T19:13:00.003-04:00

A few short business items...

As you may have noticed, I've changed the URL to this blog to better reflect my online brand. I started the transition from starshine_diva to NailaJ a few months ago when I switched my Twitter account name. Now, all my public accounts can be found by searching for "nailaj". The sole exception in the URL game is Flickr, where my display name is now "NailaJ" but my URL remains unchanged at http://www.flickr.com/photos/starshine_diva.

So please, do update your feeds and take note. My blog is now located at http://nailaj.blogspot.com.

I've started the process of uploading my 2009 AKFC Awareness Trip pictures to Flickr for easy public viewing. Hopefully, you'll see why I enjoyed Africa so much. Next step, the videos...

... "real" blog posts to follow, I promise! Stay tuned...

Why blogging about Africa is tough

2009-09-04T14:45:00.002-04:00

Many of you have been asking me to blog more about my trip to Africa. As you can see, that hasn't happened.

Sure, I've been busy catching up on work. I was out of town again this week too. It's not that I don't want to blog. It's not even that I don't have time to do it.

It would in theory be very simple for me to treat this as any other assignment, look through my notes from each day's visits, select a few explanatory pictures, and put together a short text on what we saw and learned.

But it's so much more than just that. It was an experience. It wasn't so much a cultural shock, at least, it wasn't different than I expected it to be. But the mounds of information we absorbed in the little amount of time we had to absorb it... I know I've said this before, but I haven't sorted it all out yet.

I want to make sure that my blogs are truly reflective of this experience. I want to share the best anecdotes with you, from the personal and the professional sides of this trip. I want to show you the most beautiful or tearful pictures so you can better understand what I mean. I want you to feel like you were right there in Kenya with me.

And until I figure out how to share all of this with all of you, I'd prefer not to post lame little textbook-style descriptions of the projects we visited in Nairobi and Mombasa. I'm not trying to be selfish. I just want to be true to myself, to my fellow tripgoers, to AKFC, and most importantly, to the efforts of all the thousands of people involved in each and every one of those projects, from start to finish.

I hope you can understand... Until then, stay tuned!

Flashbacks

2009-08-19T20:28:00.005-04:00

Ah, the things traveling will do to you! It's a different environment, a different way of life... sometimes a different language and in this case, a different continent and a different worldview!

Coming home from Africa was quite an eye-opener, and I don't mean all the time I spent in the plane or waiting in airports!

The trip as a whole didn't impact me too much while I was there. It was when I came back and compared the reality I was just in with my everyday reality that I realized how fortunate we really are. Then again, there is also poverty here in North America... it's just not as painstakingly obvious.

Here are some of the flashbacks that I noted during my first two days back from Kenya. These are things that happened exactly like in the movies... Someone said something or I saw something that brought me back to my Kenyan experience.

* First and foremost, how weird is it to wake up in your own room, in your own bed, and not knowing where you are? It's very confusing, trust me. It took a good while to remember that I was home... and this didn't happen to me in any of the hotels I stayed in, or ever before!

* When I first brushed my teeth, I felt like something was missing... Water. Or more specifically, a water bottle. In Kenya, as per the travel clinic's orders, I used a water bottle to wet my toothbrush as well as to rinse my mouth after cleaning my teeth.

* More water woes... I'm so used to taking a sip or two of water when I was my face or in the shower. It was very hard for me to remember NOT to do that while I was in Kenya. Again, the travel clinic instilled fears of getting sick from the tap water deep down into my core. Good job!

* What about water pressure? There are places here where your water pressure isn't that great... namely cheap hotels or apartments. Luckily, the hotel was pretty good about strong shower streams, though there were times when the water would randomly stop, and sometimes you had to turn the tap completely to get a decent flow. Some places, even that didn't solve the problem. It made me wonder how people feel clean, especially when you have to wash that red Nairobi soil off the soles of your feet.

* Hey, guess what! I can plug my laptop directly into the wall! Yes, after 2 weeks of using adapters "African-style", as someone put it, it came as a bit of a surprise to me to be able to just plug it in. The "African-style" comment came after the porter helped us with my so-called universal adapter. Unfortunately, all the plugs at the hotel were UK, and my adapter was stuck on Europe. Cheap plastic! After trying to find us a spare adapter somewhere in the hotel, he took one look at mine, grabbed a pen cap, and pressed down the trigger in the top hole before inserting my European adapter into the UK plug. Fantastic! Only in Africa...

* My mom and I were lounging in the backyard when she said something about one of her plant attracting bees. I flashed back to the bee-keeping project we visited in rural Mombasa... I promise to tell you all about it later.

* I went for a drive a couple of days after I got back, or possibly even the day after I got back. I was at a stop sign and trying to figure out what the car opposite to me was going to do: go straight or turn. You know Montreal drivers. They rarely signal, especially on suburban streets! I tried to make eye contact with the driver and it took a few seconds before I understood why I wasn't reading any signals... I was staring at the passenger! Note to self: Drivers sit on the right in North America, not on the left.

I'm sure there were other moments that reminded me of life in Africa, but these are the fun that I noted. Spending time away from your reality also makes you realize what's important to you and what's not. Sorry, Perez. You didn't make the cut!