tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-220163522024-03-13T11:26:13.097-04:00The Impending ZenithA blog about an up and coming TV-something and her struggle to get to the top. Stay tuned...NailaJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13051264350972635364noreply@blogger.comBlogger199125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22016352.post-765017641615047772015-04-23T16:56:00.002-04:002015-04-23T16:56:19.621-04:0010 Cool ThingsWell hello again, there!<br />
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It's hard to believe that it has been over a year since my last update. So much has happened since then! Looking back at all the changes in my life, both positive and negative, I guess I can understand why updating my blog wasn't too high on my to-do list. But as most scribes do, I feel a need to keep a record to help me reflect on how far I've come. So here goes...<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: x-large;"><u>10 Cool Things</u> </span></b></div>
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<b>(that have happened since my last update) </b></div>
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<b>1. Defended my thesis!</b> Yup, I finally finished my thesis, successfully defended it, quickly made all the required edits, officially submitted it, and received my bound copies! And yes, I did have a super epic party to celebrate. Disco bingo at the Grad Club with some close friends - a perfect fit!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://scontent-ams.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xta1/v/t1.0-9/10325573_652068951554260_4637366305207986367_n.jpg?oh=b5a2162aa60aa021bf3e173f462ef311&oe=559DF2C5" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" height="320" src="https://scontent-ams.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xta1/v/t1.0-9/10325573_652068951554260_4637366305207986367_n.jpg?oh=b5a2162aa60aa021bf3e173f462ef311&oe=559DF2C5" title="bound copy of thesis" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bound!</td></tr>
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<b>2. Convocated. Twice.</b> First comes tuition, then comes classes, then comes a graduation event complete with cap and gown! Or in my case, two! My B.Ed Convocation Day was shared with school friends and close family, while my M.A. Convocation was celebrated with my parents and my BFF. These two splendid days were full of special moments - like getting a hug from the Principal. Twice!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://scontent-ams.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpt1/v/t1.0-9/r90/10553562_680136572080831_6011910607290189427_n.jpg?oh=400282f6f9b8a28e88a7fddff87cef7b&oe=55E02294" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://scontent-ams.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpt1/v/t1.0-9/r90/10553562_680136572080831_6011910607290189427_n.jpg?oh=400282f6f9b8a28e88a7fddff87cef7b&oe=55E02294" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8000001907349px; text-align: center;">B.Ed - <3 Kingston & Queens U</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://scontent-ams.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfa1/v/t1.0-9/10351533_658591277568694_5213437365626940689_n.jpg?oh=2e005d9568a2ac01b36303fff91dc951&oe=55DA4233" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://scontent-ams.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfa1/v/t1.0-9/10351533_658591277568694_5213437365626940689_n.jpg?oh=2e005d9568a2ac01b36303fff91dc951&oe=55DA4233" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8000001907349px; text-align: center;">M.A. - Masters get to wear cool hoods</td></tr>
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<b>3. Worked F1. </b>This was a first for me. I always thought it would be cool to work at least one of every major sporting event type. Perhaps I will still accomplish this goal someday, but for now, my TV Production career is on indefinite hold. You might say I'm on the IR list. But before I left Canada, I got to spend one last gig with my TV family - and even met my BFF doing her gig near the tracks! Another first! (And yes, I still miss working live TV events.)</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/10421150_658591617568660_1531400459705106687_n.jpg?oh=71e0092742ff4e0c4d2f73579ea45816&oe=55D9F4A6&__gda__=1436134604_c7211b7c077c6da8fdbd7f4a284dbcf8" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/10421150_658591617568660_1531400459705106687_n.jpg?oh=71e0092742ff4e0c4d2f73579ea45816&oe=55D9F4A6&__gda__=1436134604_c7211b7c077c6da8fdbd7f4a284dbcf8" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Driving on the track post-race!</td></tr>
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<b>4. Traveled to Asia. </b>You might say it was a graduation gift, or perhaps just a chance to visit the places where my parents had lived, but this trip with my Mom (and sometimes my Dad) was a fantastic experience. Not only did I cross a bunch of countries off my travel bucket list - Hong Kong (because we know Mainland China is an entirely different experience), Singapore, Brunei, Malaysia, and Thailand - I got to experience entirely different cultures, cuisines, and communities. I saw a lot. I learned a lot. And I gained so very much. It was a trip of a lifetime!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://scontent-ams.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/r90/10519247_680160512078437_3185786854507692334_n.jpg?oh=49f1cf93bf5c87db1b41cabeae649098&oe=55E0319B" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://scontent-ams.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/r90/10519247_680160512078437_3185786854507692334_n.jpg?oh=49f1cf93bf5c87db1b41cabeae649098&oe=55E0319B" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Climbed over 400 steps in Hong Kong!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://scontent-ams.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xap1/t31.0-8/10338589_679570375470784_1167996656402361972_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://scontent-ams.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xap1/t31.0-8/10338589_679570375470784_1167996656402361972_o.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sunrise with Borneo monkeys in Brunei</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://scontent-ams.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xft1/t31.0-8/10553691_680215118739643_8604902100528242086_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://scontent-ams.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xft1/t31.0-8/10553691_680215118739643_8604902100528242086_o.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dipping my feet in the Indian Ocean in Penang, Malaysia</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xft1/v/t1.0-9/10524671_680730195354802_340811558508431180_n.jpg?oh=adf4b35e6c1cee802f9f3ed46e2bf1a6&oe=55E509D3&__gda__=1440280821_2670c0c402325b17d26d3df99aa000ce" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xft1/v/t1.0-9/10524671_680730195354802_340811558508431180_n.jpg?oh=adf4b35e6c1cee802f9f3ed46e2bf1a6&oe=55E509D3&__gda__=1440280821_2670c0c402325b17d26d3df99aa000ce" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Touched history in Thailand</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Explored the streets in Singapore</td></tr>
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<b>5. Moved to Sweden! </b>Just one short week after I got back from Asia, I picked up my passport once more and moved to Sweden. Thankfully, having already pre-packed before my trip (hard) and wrapped up my life in Kingston (harder), I didn't have too much work to do. It was hardest to say goodbye to close ones, though, knowing I probably wouldn't see them for a while. (Fortunately, I found a great flight deal and got to visit my hometown over Jul break.)<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://scontent-ams.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xaf1/t31.0-8/10382584_656189981142157_5003098680031513082_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://scontent-ams.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xaf1/t31.0-8/10382584_656189981142157_5003098680031513082_o.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Such a mess!</td></tr>
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<b>6. "Call me Ms. Jinnah."</b> After settling in to my new home in Sundsvall in Mid-Sweden, I started teaching at the coolest school ever. Okay, so perhaps my vocabulary has been a little tainted by hanging out with pre-teens all day, every day. But seriously, IESS is a fantastic school and workplace, and a great fit for my first official teaching position. All jobs have their ups and downs but I have yet to regret my decision to move here, not even in just a little spark of a thought in the back of my mind at the end of a long, hard day.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xap1/v/t1.0-9/10460740_688570811237407_4786894246488661273_n.jpg?oh=ab21fe4f7989b061f2518a0e6f444ee8&oe=55CFF3B0&__gda__=1440209004_c5583ae9bf6cd6e7eb865b893919d646" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xap1/v/t1.0-9/10460740_688570811237407_4786894246488661273_n.jpg?oh=ab21fe4f7989b061f2518a0e6f444ee8&oe=55CFF3B0&__gda__=1440209004_c5583ae9bf6cd6e7eb865b893919d646" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Checking out my new school!</td></tr>
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<b>7. Turned my house into a home.</b> Okay, so my apartment just outside downtown Sundsvall isn't really a house. Not even close. But with a little bit of TLC and a whole lot of cash, it has become a wonderful abode. And yes, I did a lot of shopping at IKEA. We're talking 3 trips before I had the basic furnishings for my new space.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://scontent-ams.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xap1/v/t1.0-9/10351729_688568351237653_110281182820112681_n.jpg?oh=432db2729b7e9df343d830ee805e57a4&oe=55D1C3A1" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://scontent-ams.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xap1/v/t1.0-9/10351729_688568351237653_110281182820112681_n.jpg?oh=432db2729b7e9df343d830ee805e57a4&oe=55D1C3A1" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Exploding Death Star! Coolest lamp ever!</td></tr>
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<b>8. TRIPS!!! </b>Since I've moved to Sundsvall, I've had the opportunity to travel to quite a few lovely places. From a quick cruise between Sweden and Finland to an emotional trip to Krakow, Poland, and a fantastic birthday trip to Athens and Santorini in Greece, moving to Europe truly has opened up many travel horizons. Plus, it's great for crossing places off the bucket list!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://scontent-ams.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/603845_806655656095588_6185908351487702471_n.jpg?oh=ee59e8d51b8d9a80f3280776eb25177b&oe=55E59D28" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://scontent-ams.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/603845_806655656095588_6185908351487702471_n.jpg?oh=ee59e8d51b8d9a80f3280776eb25177b&oe=55E59D28" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pierogies in Poland</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpf1/t31.0-8/s960x960/10271206_733574256737062_6307201001083741624_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpf1/t31.0-8/s960x960/10271206_733574256737062_6307201001083741624_o.jpg" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Baltic Sea cruise</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xfa1/v/t1.0-9/18217_828142923946861_1809403338801871286_n.jpg?oh=0fb388eded9cafc8227f20b800866d06&oe=55CD83E6&__gda__=1440566593_08c3147b498dca241d88753a0fb3b01c" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xfa1/v/t1.0-9/18217_828142923946861_1809403338801871286_n.jpg?oh=0fb388eded9cafc8227f20b800866d06&oe=55CD83E6&__gda__=1440566593_08c3147b498dca241d88753a0fb3b01c" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Going back in time in Athens</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xap1/v/t1.0-9/11150409_828086443952509_6813203173655576092_n.jpg?oh=d4929778b9f5182b12a52bbcf46797c8&oe=55D87B6C&__gda__=1440125872_9d4f0cd3bd3f9155ecf5e8e1fa34be38" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xap1/v/t1.0-9/11150409_828086443952509_6813203173655576092_n.jpg?oh=d4929778b9f5182b12a52bbcf46797c8&oe=55D87B6C&__gda__=1440125872_9d4f0cd3bd3f9155ecf5e8e1fa34be38" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Stormy Santorini</td></tr>
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<b>9. Found new friends.</b> It didn't happen overnight, but I found a cool new group of friends to hang out with. It's been really fantastic to meet likeminded locals and expats who also enjoy doing geeky things and making terrible jokes. The parties are epic and the hugs are so very good for the soul.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://scontent-ams.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/10155678_727739140653907_5014176378962212462_n.jpg?oh=34736a9fe0c4412593dfe3a11ae5333f&oe=5599D57C" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://scontent-ams.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/10155678_727739140653907_5014176378962212462_n.jpg?oh=34736a9fe0c4412593dfe3a11ae5333f&oe=5599D57C" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Now that's a great hand of Munchkin!</td></tr>
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<b>10. "Home is where the Heart is."</b> It's true what they say. I may not work as a teacher for the rest of my career, and I may not live in Sundsvall for the rest of my life, but I have found a place to call home, somewhere my heart can rest at the end of a long day. Life really is better when you have someone with whom to share the journey. And that's worth all the ups and downs that have come my way. As <i>Rascal Flatts</i> would sing, "God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you."<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">As we say in Sweden, "Skål!"</td></tr>
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NailaJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13051264350972635364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22016352.post-30921328646255372472014-03-26T20:46:00.000-04:002014-03-26T20:46:23.728-04:00On making plansLately, I have been thinking about John Steinbeck's statement in <i>Of Mice and Men</i>: "The best laid plans..." You know how it goes.<br />
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When I left my job in professional hockey communications, I planned on focusing on finishing my thesis. I put my life into storage for a year and moved back into the family home to save on costs. I was so intent on getting my work done by the next convocation date. I remember how determined I was.<br />
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And then, the NHL lockout started. Which really, shouldn't have affected my plans, except that my thesis was on professional hockey and players' use of social media. And the players I had earmarked to interview for my thesis were either not available or I couldn't contact them because of communications restrictions during the lockout.<br />
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So I bid my time and when the lockout ended, I jumped on the opportunity to move forward with my plans, albeit one semester later than I'd planed on finishing the thesis. And then, I was diagnosed with ridiculously low iron levels. We're talking so low that my doctors wondered how I was standing straight, let alone working out three times a week. This also explained my chronic fatigue, and why every time I tried to work on my thesis, I'd basically fall asleep at my desk. Or on the couch. Or in bed. Sometimes literally.<br />
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I took more iron supplements than an average pregnant lady must take, and eventually got myself to a manageable energy levels. By then, I had already decided that I was due for a career change, and had applied to, and gotten in to, the Faculty of Education at Queen's University. That gave me the summer before my programme started to try to finish my thesis. I worked like a horse (or insert your favourite hard-working analogy here) and submitted what I thought was a well-rounded, mostly complete draft to my supervisor just two weeks into my new programme. Note the word "draft". My new plan was shot, as was the opportunity to graduate in the winter of 2013.<br />
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All year, I've worked on my thesis between Education homework and teaching assignments, hoping not to let this next opportunity to graduate slip through my fingers. My thesis is currently days away from being ready for the defence process. This plan finally seems to be going well!<br />
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But then there's the career plan. As we all know, there are no teaching jobs in Canada, especially not in Ontario. Or so say all the government and union representatives. And yet, there are plenty of opportunities for teachers with French skills. As I am fully bilingual, I planned on taking my French as a Second Language course this spring, so that I would be qualified to apply to the only teaching jobs a new teacher can get: those in French.<br />
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Indeed, my plan was to settle down and teach in Kingston for the rest of my life. But you know what they say... One minute I'm covering all my bases by attending a career fair at school that provided options for careers outside of traditional teaching jobs - including overseas opportunities - and then, after a brief conversation, and 20 minutes of more formal conversation, I was offered a teaching position in Sweden. Within 24 hours, I had accepted the position, and I am very much looking forward to teaching math at the Internationella Engelska Skolan in Sundsvall, Sweden for the next two years.<br />
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As much as this latest change of plans is exciting, it also means I have to make a bunch of other plans: visa applications, wrapping up my life in Kingston, moving overseas... And I've got until August to figure it all out. I cannot express how eager and happy I am to be stepping into this new adventure! My only reservation? I have no idea what to expect. And I think I've finally learned my lesson about making plans.NailaJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13051264350972635364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22016352.post-32672818488007680752013-12-31T13:54:00.001-05:002013-12-31T13:54:08.487-05:00On 2013Oh, I know. I could've come up with a better title for this post. But you know what? It's not important.<br />
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That's something I learned in 2013. The small details we worry about? They're only worth losing sleep over if they make an impact on your or someone else's life. Of course, everything makes some sort of impact, but the past year has taught me to manage my energies and focus on things that truly matter.<br />
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But this post is not about the past. Because while 2013 was full of great moments and lessons learned, the whole point of living is to keep getting better, stronger, happier. And dwelling on past mistakes is not, I have found, the best way to keep you motivated and moving forward. So here are some of my most meaningful accomplishments of 2013, with a new goal for pushing myself further in 2014.<br />
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1. <i>"Be gentle with yourself."</i> - Yup, I'm still working on this one. All my health practitioners, friends, family... This is what they repeated to me throughout 2013. When you're dedicated to your work (as I am) and have a tendency towards perfectionism (as I do) and are stubborn about meeting real or self-imposed deadlines (as I am), well... You tend to forget that a healthy, happy life requires balance. Not necessarily in every moment of every day, but overall, balance, or a rhythm of balance, is key to longterm success. And part of that is learning to say "no", which I'm also still working on. <b>So, in 2014, I will endeavour to be gentle with myself in actuality, not just say that I will and then forget to build in "me" recovery time when I'm trying to make everything fit into my schedule.</b><br />
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2. <i>Learn from past mistakes but don't let them bring you down. </i>- Oh, y'all should see my Pinterest boards. There's one called "<a href="http://www.pinterest.com/nailaj/life-lessons/" target="_blank">Life Lessons</a>". Half of those are about finding love. The other half are about making mistakes, learning from them, and not letting others' actions hurt you. In 2013, I <b>finally</b> learned my lesson about friendship. Don't invest into relationships that your counterpart is not investing in. Don't set expectations or make assumptions that your understanding of this friendship is the same as the other person's. Don't let your kindness, love, and thoughtfulness turn you into someone else's puppet. <b>So, in 2014, I will endeavour to make time to pre-assess, assess, and re-assess (that's a teacher joke!) my relationships and voice my concerns early rather than let them build and explode into messy fireworks.</b><br />
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3. <i>Stop doubting yourself and take risks</i>. - This one is about all the new things I tried this year and found I actually enjoyed. Competing in Dancing with the Stars for Easter Seals Kingston. Painting acrylics on canvas for the first time. Writing songs on the guitar, with the intention and the inspiration for the song coming from playing the guitar. Meeting new people, who are now a huge part of my friend-family. Going to new places, because I've always wanted to, and because I could, like re-visiting Savannah, GA and Charleston, SC. Making last minute decisions instead of always planning everything out. A lot of these great moments come from learning to manage my anxiety, so this point is also linked to points 1 and 2. I owe a lot of thanks to my support system, both friends and family and <i>things</i> - yes, things! - because sometimes, you just need to watch your favourite cheesy movie and eat waaaay too much chocolate, and then chips, and cry it all out. And then move on. <b>So, in 2014, I will endeavour to keep taking risks and to stop talking down to myself. Because who is going to stand up for me if I don't even stand up for me? </b><br />
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4. <i>Just go with the flow</i>. - Surprisingly, while this has always been one of my guiding ideas, it occurred to me this year that I wasn't actually doing this. In moments, yes. In some situations where I found myself confident and comfortable, yes. But overall? HA! You're looking at a perfectionist workaholic planner, here! You think I can just "go with the flow" without thinking it through first? In 2013, I made last minute decisions. I didn't book hotels for my whole trip to the States in advance, and used Hotwire once I figured out, just 2 days beforehand, how I would deal with an unplanned chunk of my trip. <b>That</b> was awesome. <b>That</b> was going with the flow. And it was so rewarding. I also made spur of the moment decisions that go against my usual personality trend. Like deciding to go out <b>after</b> I was already in my PJs, <b>after</b> the time I usually like to get home. Why? Because good friends encouraged me to. And while I like to say they peer pressured me into it, <b>I</b> peer pressured me into it. Why? Because the only way to be comfortable outside of your shell is to actually break out of it. They're baby steps, sure, but it's better than no steps at all. If I can do it while troubleshooting under pressure in my work life or during emergencies, why can't I do it in other situations without triggering a "fight or flight" response? <b>So, in 2014, I will endeavour to just "go with the flow" in unknown situations and try not to freak out or make such a big deal out of it when I do. </b><b>Everything always works out in the end if you have good intentions. </b><br />
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5. <i>Love is the answer</i>. - Again, this is something I've always felt. In 2013, I actually found the right words to express it. So, your life sucks. You're broke. Your shower takes forever to heat up, and then gets cold within minutes. So, your friends are actually not your friends (again!) So - and y'all know you feel this way too - 5 friends got engaged, 3 got married, and 2 had babies. Oh, and another one just announced she's pregnant. Oh, and so-and-so got the job of their dreams, and this person from high school you just Facebook stalked is a doctor now?! What?! Yeah. We've all been there. We've all felt that way. (PS: those were fake stats.) It's okay to not be happy all the time. It's okay to be happy for someone yet, oddly, also not. This does not make you a bad person. Love is the answer. Love is <i style="font-weight: bold;">always</i> the answer. It's just that sometimes, you have to love yourself more than you love others. Most people, it seems, have the opposite problem: they love themselves more than they love others. For me, 2013 has been about realizing that I've gone too far on that path, and need to come back to me. Put myself before everyone else. Yup, we're back to saying "no" more. But realizing that you're doing it with love, for yourself, and <b>respect</b>, both for you and for the other person you're telling, in advance, that you wouldn't be at your best if you agreed to do yet another thing on that already busy day. Hopefully, that other person is also living with "love is the answer" as their guiding principle and they don't hold it against you. <b>So, in 2014, I will endeavour to trust myself more. To reach into my heart, feel what I feel, allow myself to feel what I feel without prejudice, and let my instinct guide me. Because I know that by holding on to the belief that <i>love is the answer</i>, I can do anything. We can do anything. I can make my little world better, and hopefully inspire someone else to do the same, and this idea, this fundamental truth that <i>love</i> is the only way that it gets better... Hopefully, 2014 will see it spread to those who need it the most.</b><br />
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I don't make New Year's resolutions. First of all, I technically celebrate, like, 4 different new years? So it's hard to know when the "new" year begins and ends. The truth is, it doesn't. There is no clear-cut line in space and time that says, <b>HEY! STOP EVERYTHING. CLEAN SLATE!</b> every time the Earth orbits around the Sun. So this is probably the closest I get to making resolutions. I kinda just make them as I go, as life teaches me new lessons and as the opportunity arrises for more personal and professional development. (This is also why I don't diet, or believe in diets.)<br />
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Still, I'm looking forward to seeing what new challenges 2014 brings, and I'm hopeful for new experiences, good and bad, that will help me grow into a <b>better</b>, <b>stronger</b>, and <b>happier</b> person.<br />
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<b style="font-size: x-large;">Here's to happy continuings!</b><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></div>
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<i>PS: Friends don't let friends drink and drive. Or get high and drive. Or drive when fatigued. Be safe out there tonight, friends. Don't take unnecessary risks! Hope y'all have a Happy New Year!</i><br />
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<br />NailaJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13051264350972635364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22016352.post-60804597407536623182013-11-17T10:57:00.000-05:002013-11-17T10:57:00.712-05:00On the Art of LearningIn the past couple of weeks, I have had the opportunity to immerse myself in various forms of art, and it has been a truly marvellous experience, one that has left me feeling warm and fuzzy inside.<br />
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Last Friday, my dance partner/teacher Claude Marc Forest and I competed in <a href="http://www.easterseals.org/dancing/kingston-dancing-with-easter-seals-stars" target="_blank">Kingston's Dancing with the Easter Seals Stars</a> fundraising event. And we won! (You can see our Judges' Choice dance <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMKmDIAA53Q" target="_blank">here</a>.) Earlier this week, in my role as Producer of the annual Bachelor of Education Musical at Queen's University, I had the opportunity to listen to so many talented future teachers audition for singing roles. On Thursday, I tried painting with acrylics for the first time (and was amazed at the results!), then went to the opening of the Juried Art Exhibition at the Studio Gallery at Duncan McArthur Hall and chatted with some of the artists about their work and their creative process.<br />
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Together, these experiences had me thinking about how I perceive, interpret, learn about, produce, and actually learn to do art, in all its forms. The Faculty of Education at Queen's University does an excellent job at teaching us how to teach, but they also teach us to think about how we learn, so this metacognitive thinking thing has been happening to me a lot, lately. One engagement strategy that comes up in several of my courses is cross-curricular integration, or, in other words, teaching one lesson that meets expectations for several subjects, or simply one that uses another subject to make the lesson engaging. I sincerely subscribe to this idea. For me, anything that can make my lesson more accessible to my students is worth trying.<br />
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Recently, though, my visual arts professor presented the difference between doing an art lesson (for the sake of art) versus doing a lesson with an art component, and <i>counting</i> it as an art lesson. It made me think candidly about my own approaches to teaching art and introducing my students to various forms of art that may not ordinarily be accessible to them. It also made me explore the resources that exist in Kingston for students and teachers who are interested in incorporating art for the sake of art by going outside the traditional classroom and into the local community.<br />
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I knew that <a href="http://www.kingstonsymphony.on.ca/" target="_blank">Kingston Symphony</a> offered a "Backstage Pass" to young adults 35-years old or younger - and I have taken advantage of this awesome, <a href="http://www.kingstonsymphony.on.ca/backstage.cfm" target="_blank">massively-reduced deal</a> several times before. What I didn't realize is that the <a href="http://kingstongrand.ca/" target="_blank">Kingston Grand</a> has a similar deal for young adults under the age of 30, called <a href="http://kingstongrand.ca/impact" target="_blank">IMPACT</a>, which means that I can take advantage of "student" perks even once I'm (finally) done earning university degrees! Now that I'm finding myself more drawn to the Kingston art scene, I'm really excited to discover that you don't have to be a student to take advantage of all these awesome deals, like in most other places I've lived.<br />
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But that's not even the best part! While doing this research, I also discovered that the Grand offers a fantastic deal for educators who want to take their class (or the whole school!) to an artistic performance, and that it costs just $8 per student! There's a whole <a href="http://kingstongrand.ca/sites/default/files/downloads/GT%20EDU%20Program_2013_14.pdf" target="_blank">brochure</a> indicating which shows would be best suited for students, and it even includes cross-curricular links. I honestly did not expect to find that such ready-made opportunities already exist in the community. I thought that, as a (future) teacher, I would have to do a lot more legwork to make such a great learning experience come to fruition for my (future) students.<br />
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My trusty calendar tells me that today is World Student Day. With the week of art immersion I had, and the wonder and amazement I felt at being able to explore so many different art forms, I think that one of my goals for my students will be to make sure that they always know what their options are in terms of taking advantage of the rich arts and culture scene in Kingston. I want each and every one of them to be able to feel this wonder and amazement too! Plus, I'm really hoping that I discover other amazing ready-made resources for educators in Kingston, and for other curricular subjects as well. I would love for my students to become truly connected to their home city through the exploration of curricula subjects in a community setting. This way, I can hopefully instil the idea in them that learning is a lifelong process that can continue well beyond one's school-aged years.<br />
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Happy World Student Day! :)NailaJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13051264350972635364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22016352.post-32141440933625882352013-10-09T22:08:00.000-04:002013-10-09T22:08:17.263-04:00On dancing (eek!)In exactly one month from today, I will be recovering from having danced in front of hundreds, if not thousands, of people for Kingston's <a href="http://www.easterseals.org/dancing/kingston-dancing-with-easter-seals-stars" target="_blank">Dancing with the Easter Seals Stars</a> event on Friday, November 8, 2013.<br />
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I'm pretty sure "EEK!" is the appropriate onomatopoeia for this situation.<br />
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Truth be told, I haven't had a real practice session in 2 weeks, due to a combination of scheduling misfortunes and, well, being ill with that cold/flu/whatever that's making its way around town.<br />
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Yup, I'm starting to get nervous.<br />
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There's so much to think about! Dress, hair, makeup. Not to mention remembering all the steps, and then executing them with poise and grace and charisma, and to the music to boot! Then there's the fundraising aspect. Trying to get my friends, family, contacts (that's you!) to <a href="https://secure.e2rm.com/registrant/TicketingCatalog.aspx?eventid=111625&langpref=en-CA&referrer=http%3a%2f%2fwww.easterseals.org%2fdancing%2fkingston-dancing-with-easter-seals-stars" target="_blank">purchase tickets ($100), or tables of 10 at a reduced rate ($900)</a>. Or at least, to <a href="http://my.e2rm.com/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=2051856&langPref=en-CA" target="_blank">vote online by donation ($10 = 1 vote)</a>.<br />
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Because not only is Dancing with the Easter Seals Stars Kingston an awesome and exciting not-for-profit fundraising event that <a href="http://www.easterseals.org/about-us/what-we-do" target="_blank">helps to provide equipment, resources, and opportunities for local children with physical disabilities to live an integrated and independent life</a>, it's also a competition. And you, the people, my audience, get to <a href="http://my.e2rm.com/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=2051856&langPref=en-CA" target="_blank">decide who wins the grand prize</a>: bragging rights.<br />
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So while I sweat away on the dance floor (sometimes also known as the tiny bits of useable dancing space in my apartment), while juggling Teacher's College, and thesis writing and editing, and practicum responsibilities and my other Kingston community commitments... Well, would it be too much to ask for you to <a href="http://my.e2rm.com/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=2051856&langPref=en-CA" target="_blank">support me</a> in this endeavour?<br />
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Whether you <a href="https://secure.e2rm.com/registrant/TicketingCatalog.aspx?eventid=111625&langpref=en-CA&referrer=http%3a%2f%2fwww.easterseals.org%2fdancing%2fkingston-dancing-with-easter-seals-stars" target="_blank">attend the event</a> and enjoy a delicious 4-course meal by famous Kingston chef <a href="http://www.kingstoncanada.com/en/food/chefclark.asp" target="_blank">Clark Day</a> as well as the drink tastings and the entertainment provided by local dance troupes and the competition dances and the open dance floor...<br />
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OR<br />
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<a href="http://my.e2rm.com/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=2051856&langPref=en-CA" target="_blank">Donate to vote</a> for one of the 7 dance pairs, (personally, I'd recommend voting for me, but all the money goes to the same place, so do as you wish!)...<br />
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It's much appreciated. Thank you for your support, and I hope to see you at the <a href="http://www.easterseals.org/dancing/kingston-dancing-with-easter-seals-stars" target="_blank">Kingston Banquet & Conference Centre on Friday, November 8, 2013</a>.<br />
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PS: Vote <a href="http://my.e2rm.com/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=2051856&langPref=en-CA" target="_blank">here</a>! Purchase tickets or tables <a href="https://secure.e2rm.com/registrant/TicketingCatalog.aspx?eventid=111625&langpref=en-CA&referrer=http%3a%2f%2fwww.easterseals.org%2fdancing%2fkingston-dancing-with-easter-seals-stars" target="_blank">here</a>!NailaJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13051264350972635364noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22016352.post-7174678547185390472013-10-01T08:24:00.000-04:002013-10-01T08:24:00.095-04:00On Roch VoisineWhen I was a teen, one of the only ways I could fall asleep easily was to listen to the radio. In the summer, I'd fade away to Rodger Brulotte's epic Montreal Expos broadcasts on CKAC 730, but when the Expos weren't playing, or during the rest of the year, I would switch from AM to FM and listen to CKAC's sister station, Cité Rock-Détente, an adult soft rock station that played both French and English songs.<br />
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It was Cité that introduced me to Quebec greats like Beau Dommage and Eric Lapointe, as well as French-from-France classics by Charles Aznavour and Michel Sardou. It's also on these airwaves that I fell in love with Roch Voisine.</div>
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My first encounter with Roch Voisine took place in Grade 2, when the teachers at the francophone private school I was attending decided that we would sing Roch's "La Berceuse du petit diable" for our school concert. The lyrics were a little complex at times for an 8-year old, but the melody was enchanting. Even now, when the music starts and Roch sings, "Mickey Mouse et ton teddy bear," I'm transported back to my childhood.</div>
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The fascinating thing about Roch Voisine is that it seems that he was always slated for success. He fell into music when a baseball injury effectively ended what was to be a promising professional hockey career (I know!). And just like Celine Dion, Roch quickly became a bilingual singer, with hits in French and English. In fact, his second album, <i>Double</i>, was a double CD (so punny!) that included a disc with all French songs and another with all English songs.</div>
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You've probably heard "Shed A Light" or "Kissing Rain" or maybe even "Helen", the English version of Roch's first hit, "Hélène". I remember hearing "Jean Johnny Jean" and "J'entends frapper" over and over on the radio. Surprisingly, I remember not liking the song that has become my francophone favourite, "La légende d'Oochigeas." My favourite anglophone song, hands down, is "With These Eyes". I heard it recently and while I don't remember what I related it to when I was younger, it still makes me feel like cry-singing along with Roch.</div>
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Why am I going on and on about Roch Voisine? Because he's coming to town soon. This month, actually. Roch will be taking over the Kingston Grand Theatre on October 19, 2013 and I really really really hope he plays my favourite songs. Because there's nothing worse than finally getting to see your childhood idols live in concert and having them play only their modern hits.</div>
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I think one of the reasons Roch Voisine left such a mark on me is not just his clever lyrics, or his semi-husky voice, or his ability to write and sing in both French and English. I think it was his determination to keep searching for a career he could love that made me love him. And I mean that in a completely platonic way, of course! As a teen trying to find her way, finding out that someone who did so well for himself also had to struggle to find his way after his first dream ended? I was pretty impressed.</div>
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And so when Roch Voisine starts belting "Deliver Me" on October 19th, I'll be right there in the crowd singing along with him. So... Apologies in advance if you end up sitting next to me!</div>
NailaJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13051264350972635364noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22016352.post-79302400930025826082013-09-05T21:57:00.000-04:002013-09-05T21:57:44.801-04:00On long days, amazing resultsYou know the local job search radio commercial that ends with, "Long name, amazing results"? For some reason, when I think "long day," my brain automatically adds "amazing results."<br />
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But no one ever gets the joke. Probably because my brain works in mysterious ways.<br />
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The past few days have been quite long, as I've embarked on a new adventure: Teacher's College. While the rest of Queen's University's "first" years paint themselves in faculty colours and take part in team-building activities, the professional students in the Bachelor of Education program have already had 3 days of classes. Well... 2, if you don't count the orientation day, which I do, because it was full of amazing life and teaching lessons.<br />
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I am ridiculously excited to be back in school. I love learning and so far, all my classes have offered a wonderful balance of lessons and examples of lessons, as may be applied in our future classrooms. The only downfall is that the intensive 8-month program is full. And by full, I mean days with classes that start at 8:30am and end at 6pm, with just about an hour's break for lunch. And Friday is the tightest day in my schedule.<br />
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The thing is, your brain is operating at study wavelengths all day long, so while the take-home workload and required preparations are not nearly as demanding as during my Master's, balance is still ever so important to re-energize and regenerate.<br />
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Except I haven't finished my thesis yet. I came close, but I am still working on a second draft that needs more and different literature to be threaded throughout the body of work, not just in one chapter, or one paragraph. I also need to re-write the introduction, as I've decided to approach the context-creation segments from a different perspective so as to make my thesis more impactful.<br />
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As you may have guessed, it's not going to be an easy task. And yet, I come home every day after school, try to relax while I have dinner, and then jump right into Teacher's College assignments. And if I have any semblance of energy left, I try to further my thesis progress.<br />
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Needless to say... It's a slow process. Still, as we have learned, long days lead to amazing results. So I will forgo balance for the next few weeks, until I reach a more comfortable zone in my must-do list. And then... Then I will get to reap the rewards that I have sown and settle into a less hectic lifestyle and enjoy school once more.<br />
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<br />NailaJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13051264350972635364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22016352.post-41600132097221038732013-08-01T17:53:00.000-04:002013-08-01T17:53:53.976-04:00On dancing for a causeWhen I was in high school, I took dance lessons. I am horribly uncoordinated when it comes to mainstream dancing. School dances. Clubs. Weddings. SO not my thing. So when a friend raved about her social dance lessons, I thought... Why not? Worst case scenario, I learn some skills so that I'm not so terribly embarrassed (and embarrassing) in social situations requiring dancing. Plus, it's a good workout.<br />
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As it turns out, I don't do so poorly at ballroom dancing. Something about the music, whether Latin or Standard, makes me move from the <i>inside</i>. And apparently, that helps me move on the outside.<br />
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It's been eight years since I've danced, properly, in a studio, with dance shoes and all that jazz. Recently, I was asked if I wanted to participate in Kingston's second annual "Dancing with the Easter Seals Stars" competition, benefiting, you guessed it! The local Easter Seals Ontario chapter.<br />
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I'm always up for giving back to my community, and as y'all should know by now, I love trying new things. While dancing isn't going to be an entirely new thing for me, it's so old that it feels new. Plus, I never was a competitive dancer. I've never done a dance show or even a choreography. And part of the deal in accepting to be a "local celebrity" participant is to give a <b>LIVE </b>performance. In a big ballroom. With lights, cameras, and people. We're talking an audience of 100 to 250 prominent Kingstonians. And then having it taped for posterity. And probably posted online too.<br />
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FREAKY!!!!<br />
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But you know what? I'm in!<br />
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It's scary and thrilling at the same time. I'm nervous and excited. Plus, it's for a good cause. The Easter Seals, which I had never heard of until I came to Ontario, provides programs and services to children and youth with physical disabilities, with the goal of helping them reach greater independence, financially and otherwise, through increased accessibility and integration.<br />
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I've met with my dance teacher/partner and I am SO excited that we're on the same page as to how we want to approach the competition. Because yes, as much as this event is a fundraiser, it's still a competition. And I'm competitive. Y'all know I like to challenge myself, and this is an excellent way for me to push myself further.<br />
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But I will need your help and support. The only way this event will be a success is if people attend and vote. This year, for the first time, you will be able to vote online during the weeks leading up to the competition. Or you can attend the event on November 8, 2013 at the Kingston Banquet & Conference Centre and vote in-person. Both options will ask you to contribute to the cause by purchasing vote ballots. Pricing for the event, which includes a 4-course dinner, post-event dancing, and so much more, should be around $100 per person. Of course, y'all can also get together and purchase a 10-person table at a discount!<br />
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Details on all this, and more, are coming soon. Also, if you're interested in participating as a sponsor or know someone who might be, please let me know.<br />
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I promise to keep you up-to-date on my progress - or lack thereof - and I look forward to embarrassing myself in front of all of you!NailaJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13051264350972635364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22016352.post-20822253994304035432013-07-22T09:50:00.000-04:002013-07-22T09:50:00.846-04:00On Community Acupuncture at KIHCFor the past few months, I have been working on getting healthier. Health, of course, is more than just physical, so while I try to keep strengthening my knee, I'm also working on my overall well-being.<br />
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Upon moving back to Kingston, I asked for recommendations for places with a holistic approach, as I expected a naturopath might be able to look at my whole health picture and make suggestions as to my digestive, knee/joint pain, and anxiety/stress issues.<br />
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A friend recommended <a href="http://www.kihc.ca/" target="_blank">Kingston Integrated Healthcare (KIHC)</a>, and sure enough, they had a <a href="http://www.kihc.ca/meet_our_team.html" target="_blank">team</a> of professionals that are each uniquely suited to address my needs. Between naturopathy, registered massage therapy (it works better than physiotherapy at this point!) and a new discovery for me, community acupuncture, I'm there several times a week.<br />
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Acupuncture, of course, is a traditional Chinese medicine healing technique that uses needles inserted at various pressure points to stimulate the flow of <i>qi</i>, or energy, through the body. People have been telling me for <b>years</b> to look into acupuncture for my joint pain, and I mostly brushed them off. I did give it a try a few years ago, when I was doing physiotherapy for a neck issue, and it did absolutely nothing for me. I gave it another go, just in case it was the first time jitters, but again, I felt more tense than anything after my session. I resolved then and there that acupuncture might do amazing things for other people but that it simply wasn't for me.<br />
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Boy, was I wrong! KIHC had their annual Open House the weekend after I moved to town. It's not too far from where I live, so I went to visit as a break from un-packing. One of the Open House demonstrations was acupuncture. I figured since I was there anyway - and pretty sure I was going to start seeing a naturopath there - I might as well try it again. It was, after all, free!<br />
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What a difference a good practitioner makes! With just a few well-placed needles - rather than covering my body with them! - Dr. Gerann Murphy gave me this incredible feeling of relaxation in just 10 minutes. It was truly a life-changing experience, and I finally understood what everyone has been talking about all these years!<br />
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Of course, acupuncture isn't the most accessible of health treatments, so I was thrilled to discover that KIHC offers Community Acupuncture every Monday, from 4:30pm to 6:30pm. Community Acupuncture allows for you to experience a good 20-30-minute session in a "community" room, as in, with other participants. This means everyone stays fully-clothed, and you don't have as much of a one-on-one connection with the practitioner, but you still get the amazing release of the treatment. And for just $30 in cold hard cash! Plus, if you're like me, you show up early and you still <b>do</b> get to chat and determine what you want to work on for that session! And being the first one there means my session ends up being mostly a solo treatment anyway :)<br />
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But despite enjoying this one-on-one time, I just <b>had</b> to share my secret with all of you because since I started acupuncture, my knee pain has been exponentially lower. Even in the crazy humidity we've had, I haven't had nearly close to the joint pain I usually experience. In fact, I barely noticed the humidity in my joints. And then there's the emotional release. Every acupuncture session leads to a huge shift in the energy in my body and all the pent up emotions just... flow. There really isn't another word to describe the feeling.<br />
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In other words, for $30, it's one of the most wholesome, holistic therapy treatments I've ever experienced. My plan was to go every once in a while, perhaps bi-weekly, but I've been feeling so <b>GOOD</b> lately that I just might have to go every week. It's worth it. Trust me.<br />
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PS: For more information about Kingston Integrated HealthCare, check out their website at <a href="http://www.kihc.ca/">http://www.kihc.ca</a>. Or ask me about my experience!<br />
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PPS: If you're not sure whether naturopathy or acupuncture is for you, KIHC offers free 15-minute consultations with as many practitioners as you would like to speak to and "test" out. I saw a few of the Naturopathic Doctors and Massage Therapists before deciding who to work with.<br />
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PPPS: Nope, I haven't been paid for this post in any way. I just truly appreciate the amazing service and experience I've had at KIHC! And I want everyone else to feel this good!!<br />
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<br />NailaJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13051264350972635364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22016352.post-83057514454526595032013-05-17T13:53:00.002-04:002013-05-17T14:26:42.358-04:00On The Girls in the Front RowI just met "The Girls in the Front Row". And I cried.<br />
<br />
I recently moved back to Kingston (yey!) and was presented with an opportunity to consult with a local author on publicizing her book, which is approaching a second edition release date. Knowing nothing about the author or the book, I shrugged to myself, and thought, "Why not?" After all, I am always looking for interesting work opportunities, and my interests are so varied that they tend to find me instead! This was one of those chance situations.<br />
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The book is called "The Girls in the Front Row" and it was authored by <a href="http://www.lindagayleross.com/" target="_blank">Linda Gayle Ross</a>. It's odd for me to say that she is the author of the book, since the words and the stories, save for one, are not hers. The project, the book itself, and the feelings it elucidates are most definitely hers. But the stories belong to the Girls in the Front Row.<br />
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Who are the Girls in the Front Row? They are motherless daughters; women who lost their mothers young, and had to learn to live without that customary bond, and the assumed guidance of the most important role model in a young girl's life. Some were children when their mom died, some were young adults who were just starting families of their own. Now, they are aged between 16 and 90, and they still feel the pain of losing the opportunity to get to know their mom, let along getting to share their own life experiences with her. Their mom never had a chance of becoming a best friend. The girls didn't have that person to share a big smile with from stage during Convocation. They didn't have that person to run to for comfort no matter what was happening in their "real" lives.<br />
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Their stories are varied and so are their experiences and their ability to survive and grow after such a traumatic launch into life as a grown-up. But one thing is clear... The Girls in the Front Row have all, in their own way, had to struggle with pain and fear, and insecurity, and, worst of all, lost hope. Because even though many people have estranged or tense relationships with their moms, there is always hope that things may get better.<br />
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For the Girls in the Front Row, there is no hope. There is often grief, guilt, anger, and relief, but not hope.<br />
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As I was reading, the tears started to flow. Softly, at first, but with every story, my heart trembled a little more. It wasn't truly out of grief or sadness, but because I wished that I could just reach out a hand to hold theirs, give them a hug in their times of need, past and present, and tell them that someone was there for them. Someone who may not fully understand what they are going through but who could support them while they figured it out.<br />
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And then I realized how many Girls in the Front Row I know, personally. Also, boys who lost their mothers young, but, that's a different type of bond. Boys, after all, will never need to call Mom at work to ask what kind of tampons to buy in that first menstrual cycle freak-out moment!<br />
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The Girls in the Front Row that I know are all courageous, strong, and successful women. They all admire their moms and miss them very much. They have all adopted behaviours or objects or hobbies that remind them of their mothers. But, you know what? As the book makes very obvious, I have never asked them what happened on the day they lost their Mom. How they felt in that moment. And as one Girl in the Front Row points out, that is sad.<br />
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So as I wiped the tears from my face and closed the beautiful, emotion-filled book, I decided that the next time I spoke with my Girls in the Front Row, when the moment was right, I would ask them what happened on the day their mom died. And then hug them as they re-live the trauma and let free the feelings that they usually bottle up and keep for company in their day-to-day lives.<br />
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To my Girls in the Front Row, thank you for being such an inspiration.NailaJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13051264350972635364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22016352.post-52512929527658419512013-02-12T12:07:00.001-05:002013-02-12T12:10:09.938-05:00On #BellLetsTalk I used to be much better at talking about mental illness. When I was younger, I was seriously depressed, even suicidal. I tried to take my life a few times, and I realize now that it was more than just your regular teenage mess of hormones and feeling so lonely while growing up. Once I admitted my issue, I had no problem discussing it with everyone and on all my social networks. But since then, I've become more of a private person, and this post is my attempt to change that.<br />
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When I was depressed as a teen, talking about it didn't help right away, because I had to find the right people to talk to. At the time, I reached out to my favourite teachers, because the government funded healthcare centers didn't offer much support. The therapist I spoke to on the phone - because I couldn't make my way to the clinic without tipping everyone off! - was not very helpful, even when we did have an in-person session. After my parents became aware of the issue and got involved in trying to help, I saw another therapist, privately and with my family. That didn't help either. The therapist did not accept that my feelings were real to me, whether or not they were "legitimate" in that situation. And this was a trained, educated doctor. Her job was to deal with issues like mine. If she couldn't help, who could?<br />
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The stigma about mental illness MUST end. Invisible pain is just as real and serious as physical pain. Just because someone is constantly smiling and bubbly doesn't mean that their mind isn't going a mile a minute trying not to think of the big bad. I deal with anxiety on a daily basis. Sometimes, it's so bad that I have a panic attack. I know myself, and I know that this is not me. I've taken steps to get help, and I'm on the right path.<br />
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I've been on anti-depressants before. This time, a whirlwind of "big bad" events all happening at the same time led to my feelings of anxiety becoming overwhelming. Some days, I could barely get out of bed. It didn't help that I wasn't getting enough sleep because all the what-ifs were keeping me awake at night. Some days, I got out of bed, then binge-ate junk food to try to hide the problem from myself, and then felt like crap for making myself feel so gross and unhealthy. Even though I had found the little things that made me happy the last time I was depressed, and used those feelings of gratitude and appreciation of every day "happy" to get me off the anti-depressants, I realized that I needed a helping hand.<br />
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This time, talking about it DID help. The first step was admitting to myself that I wasn't going to be able to deal with this myself. So I reached out to friends who I knew also had experience dealing with invisible, mental pain. Once I was comfortable speaking with them about my current issues, I was able to reach out to my other friends - those who might have been closer in theory but felt further away because I didn't know how they would react to me sharing that it wasn't all moonlight and roses in my head. Fortunately, this time around I've got "real" friends. The kind the stick with you no matter what. And not only were they accepting, they were helpful, and they offered to change the way they interact with me ONLY if it would make me feel better.<br />
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It wouldn't, by the way. I think it's pretty safe to say that the worst reaction to an admission of mental health struggles is for your friends and family to treat you different. It just makes you feel even more isolated and fragile.<br />
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The second step was to talk to my doctor. I'm fortunate to have an AMAZING doctor. She was my GP at Queen's Student Health, and I've seen her for everything since, from follow-ups to annual check-ups. She also offers counseling services. Yup, I hit the jackpot! I found someone who understands that health and wellness is not just physical, and who realizes that listening is the most important step to helping someone towards their wellness goals. And that's listening without judging. Feeling like someone is actually listening to you and cares about what you have to say is a huge help. The best part for me is that my doctor realizes that I'm fairly well versed in medical issues and that I keep track of my body and what I'm feeling, so there's little to no second-guessing, apart from regular professional obligation, of course!<br />
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So yes. I'm an overly anxious person, to the point where at this confused intersection in my life, it can be paralyzing. Yes, I am currently taking medication to help me get through the day, because sometimes, whether it's hormone-induced or situational, I get overwhelmed by all the items on my to-do list and the lack of control I have over many of them, and I freak out. I have those junk food binge days, or days where I work from bed because it's more comforting. And sometimes, I don't take care of my responsibilities, like when it's my turn to make dinner or when I've said I'm going to vacuum and don't end up doing it.<br />
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Make no mistake. It's not that I just don't feel like doing it or that I physically can't do it. It's that I feel like I can't muster the energy to do it, and the fear, the FEAR of not being able to do the things I say I will do, and the anxiety related to the reactions of those affected by the decision - and the "if only people knew I felt like this, my brand would suffer and they'd see me as weak and incapable" that I'm currently feeling even from simply writing this post - that's the real problem. The anxiety builds up until it's truly paralyzing and then you really ARE unable to get up and do the things you say you're going to do. Until you get that little push that helps you take the first step towards accomplishing that task.<br />
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And while that push sometimes means taking three steps forward, then five steps back, then another two forward and maybe ending up back in bed, the feeling that you tried does make a difference. A little one, but at least you know you can get out of bed and you will eventually be able to follow through with the full task.<br />
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It's been tough for me to admit, but as an anxious person, I also find it really tough to give myself a break. I know it doesn't show, but being a workaholic is actually a bit of a coping mechanism. If I keep working and don't relax, then I'll get everything done and I won't feel guilty about not crossing things off my to-do list, right? Guilt is indeed one of those other messy feelings that prevents you from doing the things you know you need to do. Sometimes, I even feel guilty when I choose to go to the gym when I could be working on my thesis, even though I KNOW that the gym will make me feel better overall, help heal my knee injury, AND make me more productive in my thesis work. Not to mention give me a much better night's sleep!<br />
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It's a bit of a vicious cycle, and that's why it's so hard for people affected with mental illnesses to discuss their experiences. But we must. Because people need to know. They need to understand so that they can stop judging and so they can admit that they too have dealt with some of these issues. We need to have a real conversation about mental health and how the government needs to step up and start dealing with the repercussions of the modern day "go go go" lifestyle we now live.<br />
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But the discussion starts at home, with your family, your friends, your doctor. Call the local health line. Tweet about it. Post an awkward Facebook status that calls for attention and then LET PEOPLE HELP YOU when they ask if you're okay.<br />
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Be honest with yourself. It's okay to feel down sometimes, and it's okay if "sometimes" becomes "most of the time". You're not alone, and chances are that if you reach out to someone, that person will tell you they've felt like that too.<br />
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Don't be afraid to call your friend in the middle of the night even though you know they're going to be pissed at you and they probably won't answer and then you'll have worked up the courage to call for no reason. Talk yourself INTO these decisions instead of letting the fear, guilt and anxiety talk you out of it.<br />
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And please please please be open about your experiences. If you've dealt with a mental illness in the past, or are dealing with one today, help break the stigma, and talk about it now. Why wait? Bell says let's talk. Whether or not you like their corporate sponsorship approach, the message is valid. It's time to talk, Canada, and there's no time like the present to start the conversation.<br />
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PS: I hope this post helps at least one of you feel more comfortable with your crazy feelings. We're all a bit messed up - maybe part of our healing can be to help others heal too.<br />
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PPS: Hug someone today and every day. Hugs are awesome. Chocolate is awesome too. And pets! And babies! Find your happy and let yourself enjoy it! :)<br />
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<br />NailaJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13051264350972635364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22016352.post-21224187477442276872012-12-31T18:14:00.000-05:002012-12-31T18:17:45.890-05:00On 2012Dear 2012,<br />
<br />
In many ways, you were an amazing year, full of blessings and discoveries. However, in just as many ways, you, 2012, were a year filled with life experiences that forced certain life lessons to be acknowledged, accepted and learned. Hopefully, for the last time.<br />
<br />
In 2012, I fully embraced a new position in the sports communications industry. I helped put on an incredible outdoor sporting event. I didn't get to go to the London 2012 Olympic Games, but I applied to go to the Sochi 2014 Olympic Games. I made new friends, new contacts, and learned from new mentors. My life went from 200 kilometers per hour with a million items on my to-do list and lots of positive stress to a screeching halt this summer, still with a million items on my to-do list, but mostly negative stress and anxiety.<br />
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2012 was the continuation of late 2011's legacy of exciting new experiences that ended up not working out, or at least not working out nearly as close to the master plan as expected. 2012 was the year of learning who my friends really are, and, most importantly, who I really am. With so many options after this summer's change of plans, I had a tough time figuring out which path to take next. Thanks to a lot of guidance from new and old friends and colleagues, as well as lots of time spent by me, thinking about me, and what I need and want out of my life, I think I have a more or less clear view of what I need to do to live happily.<br />
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However, as 2012 taught me, no plan is ever rock solid. My volunteer teaching experience has helped me accept that, and even embrace it - Hello, tossed out lesson plans! I now know that life is no fun when it takes place exactly as expected, although I'm pretty sure everyone will agree that certain key elements make life much more satisfying when they are constant. We're talking living space, career, income, lifestyle, and love. The "big five" I've learned are most important to me in ensuring my own happiness. It should be noted, however, that income is simply on the list because of the type of world in which we live - if you can't afford to have positive experiences without constantly worrying about your banking statement, you're probably spending more time being anxious than enjoying your everyday life.<br />
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In other words, 2012 was all about teaching me about balance. What type of balance? The work-life balance, family/friends-alone time balance, eating out-eating in balance, working out-injury balance, spending-saving balance, school-work balance... And, of course, re-learning how to literally keep my balance when re-starting physiotherapy for my chronic knee issue. Hint: proprioception exercises are a pain, but they do work!<br />
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So, 2012, it's with a balanced light and heavy heart that I bid you adieu, and thank you for the lessons you taught me. Here's to a safe, entertaining celebration to mark your parting - PSA: DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE!! - and let's welcome 2013 with open arms! May the lessons learned this year be much easier to handle, and lead to much more exciting prospects! The end of 2012 certainly seems to indicate that 2013 will be a wonderful, energizing, fulfilling year, with many warm and fuzzy moments to fill my days - and hopefully yours!<br />
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Happy New Year!NailaJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13051264350972635364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22016352.post-9040862006089974282012-08-16T16:22:00.001-04:002012-08-16T16:22:53.107-04:00On working in #sportsbizThe hardest thing about working in the sports industry is breaking in. There are a ton of blogs that tell that tale, so I will skip over that part of my experience. All you need to know is that I worked hard in multiple internships and contracts in the media industry, from newspapers to live sports broadcast production to earning my communications stripes through volunteer non-profit positions. The only internship I didn't do was one with a sports team, which would've been an asset, but as my other jobs put me in direct contact with team executives, I learned a fair bit about the inner workings of a sport organization through observation and interaction.<br />
<br />
When I landed the Director of Media Relations position with the AHL's Hamilton Bulldogs, I was both surprised and relieved. I was surprised not because I wasn't confident about my skills, but because I had interviewed for several sport communications positions in the past few years and never gotten that call. This position was a more senior role than those I had previously applied for, and though I knew I had rocked the interview, I still was apprehensive at my chances. But my hard work and persistence paid off, and I was hired.<br />
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Whether it was a case of "right place, right time" or simply because it was <b><i>my</i></b> time does not matter. I got in. Finally.<br />
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That's when I discovered the second hardest thing about working in the sports industry. The chaos and fatigue of working long days (and nights). I had known that this was the reality in this type of work - and in all media work, actually - but living it in this scenario felt different. Plus, if you're a perfectionist like me, that also means a lot of sleepless nights worrying about how to get things better organized so that you can do the best job you are able to do.<br />
<br />
Needless to say, when I was let go in June after a tough season jam-packed with major events and new promotions, I was shocked. I felt like I was still recovering from the past season, and well on my way to setting up the next season so that it would be far less chaotic. I was also hurt and confused. I felt like I had sacrificed so much to finally get my shot at rocking the sports media world and was cut short from doing truly awesome things with the team.<br />
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I later discovered that my dismissal was but one element of a major summer restructuring plan, and that I hadn't done anything "wrong". But as anyone who has been laid off can tell you, that doesn't make you feel any better.<br />
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My world was a mess. I didn't know what I was doing and where I was going. Eventually, I found out that the remaining executives still thought I was awesome and that my work was brilliant. My work ethic was exemplary, my ideas were awesome, and my strategies and execution were innovative and exceptional. That helped to lessen the blow. But I still felt like I had been stranded on a deserted island, with food and escape routes dangling just out of my reach.<br />
<br />
I did what any smart young adult would do. I cut my losses - and my expenses - and went back into student mode. After all, I still had a Master's thesis to write. And as anyone who has worked full-time in sport communications can tell you, I didn't really have any spare time while I was with the Bulldogs. I therefore wasn't able to meet my lofty goal of finishing my thesis while I <span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">worked.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">And now, I feel like I am back at square one, struggling to get a chance to prove my worth in the sports industry. No experience is ever wasted, to be sure, and holding a senior position in a professional sport organization, however brief that experience was, will certainly help me in my next endeavor. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">But frankly, I thought we'd done this already. I thought we were finally past this point. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">But in my passion and excitement, I had forgotten that the sports industry is volatile and so much of its stability depends on the attitudes of owners, commissioners, and yes, even fans. It is unfortunate that after all these years of pro sports development, its employees are still the ones with the most to lose, especially since having a well-rounded, experienced, passionate and dedicated team of staffers is key to ensuring a team's success in failing markets. After all, you can have the best players in the league, but if no one knows they're there, who's going to buy tickets? Ads? Merchandise?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">It may be true that without athletes, there is no professional sports industry. But it takes a committed core group of employees to make it successful.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">And so, it's a shame that breaking in to the sports industry remains the hardest thing about</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);"> working in the sports industry, even for experienced professionals. Whether you've got one year under your belt or 20 years of experience in various positions and markets, this experience has taught me that you are never safe. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969);">But maybe this is the hardest thing about working in the sports industry. You never can never truly be comforted that your investment is safe and will yield high returns, or any returns at all. And that's why so many of us sail our boats away from the isolated island that is pro sports, searching for more stable waters. A long, fruitful career in the sports industry - in any industry these days, really - is no longer a given, once you've proven your worth. </span><br />
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And I'm starting to wonder if perhaps it's time for me to sail away as well.NailaJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13051264350972635364noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22016352.post-14843174444911715202012-05-07T11:35:00.000-04:002012-05-07T11:37:17.280-04:00On the top 5 regrets of the dying<div class="tr_bq">
When doing my media round-up this morning, I came across <a href="http://www.thestar.com/news/insight/article/1174160--top-ten-event-looks-at-things-to-know-before-you-die" target="_blank">this piece</a> in the Toronto Star discussing things to know before you die. It sounds morbid, but it's not. Instead, I found it to be inspiring. With thoughts from big names in various industries, it makes for a quick, easy read. </div>
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But it was the first paragraph that captured my attention. Australian palliative care nurse Bronnie Ware collected the thoughts of her dying patients and shared their wisdom and life lessons in a blog called <a href="http://www.inspirationandchai.com/" target="_blank">Inspiration and Chai</a> and then in a book entitled <a href="http://www.amazon.ca/The-Top-Five-Regrets-Dying/dp/140194065X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1336404274&sr=8-1" target="_blank">The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying</a>.<br />
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Here's an excerpt, from the article, with Ware's comments:<br />
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<b>“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”</b> </blockquote>
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<b></b>-This was the most common regret of all. </blockquote>
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<b>“I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.”</b> </blockquote>
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<b></b>-This came from every male patient I nursed. </blockquote>
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<b>“I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.”</b> </blockquote>
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<b></b>-Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. </blockquote>
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<b>“I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.”</b> </blockquote>
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<b></b>-Many had been so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. </blockquote>
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<b>“I wish that I had let myself be happier.”</b> </blockquote>
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<b></b>-Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice.</blockquote>
Bonnie goes into more detail for each of these top five regrets on her blog's <a href="http://www.inspirationandchai.com/Regrets-of-the-Dying.html" target="_blank">Regrets of the Dying</a> page. It's worth reading, and a good reminder that the goal of life doesn't have to be to make tons of money and live in a huge mansion full of stuff. Indeed, life's goal might just be happiness and success that comes from within.<br />
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I look forward to picking up Bonnie's book and being inspired by the wisdom of those who have led long lives and discovered the things that matter the most.NailaJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13051264350972635364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22016352.post-61209790404021446382012-04-10T09:15:00.000-04:002012-04-10T09:15:01.338-04:00On inspirationInspiration comes from the strangest of places.<br />
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There are certain places you expect to find inspiration, of course. In a good book, for example, or at a convocation address. For some, it might be watching a particularly pretty sunset that inspires you.</div>
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Sometimes, inspiration comes from within, too, but it often needs a spark. Recently, I have been finding these sparks in unexpected places and at unexpected times. When browsing Pinterest late at night, I often come across golden nuggets that make me pause, absorb, and then wonder at the world. Or, more precisely, I wonder at the moments that led to someone coming to that realization and sharing those words of wisdom with the world.</div>
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It's true, I've been known to have my very own moments of wisdom. I usually don't feel particularly inspired while dishing out my new world advice but in the following "pause, absorb, wonder" sequence, I realize that the thoughts I didn't really think about until they so eloquently flowed out of my mouth are actually quite useful and interesting. And yes, inspiring. In that moment, I am the spark.</div>
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Today is my birthday. It's as perfect a moment as any to search for inspiration and to evaluate the path that I'm on. It is also a perfect occasion to be thankful and count my blessings. Shelter. Water. Education. Health (mostly). Peace. Friends. Family. Democracy (in theory). Financial stability. </div>
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Hope. </div>
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Inspiration.</div>
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Yes, it's about the time of year when I ask you to take a few minutes of your time to learn about the <a href="http://www.worldpartnershipwalk.com/" target="_blank">World Partnership Walk</a> and the great work done by <a href="http://www.akfc.ca/" target="_blank">Aga Khan Foundation Canada</a>. As you may know by now, the World Partnership Walk is an annual event that raises funds and awareness to help alleviate poverty and build sustainable solutions in the poorest regions of the world. Now nearly 30 years old, the Walk has raised over $70 million for international development longterm programs and initiatives that help people help themselves, making it the largest and most successful event of its kind in Canada! Last year, almost 40,000 people walked in 10 cities across Canada to raise nearly $7 million! </div>
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And here's the kicker. This is my favourite part. The part that continues to inspire me year after year, day after day.</div>
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<b>100% of the funds raised by the World Partnership Walk go directly to fund international development projects. </b>That's right! <b>Not one cent is spent on administration.</b> Every single dime, dollar and penny helps to fund projects that are identified and implemented by local communities, targeting the areas they find to be of greatest need. All projects touch more than one area of need, like revitalizing a rural economy, ensuring access to clean water and sanitation, strengthening community-based organizations and educating new generations of girls and women, to name but a few.</div>
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In previous years, I've written about the <a href="http://nailaj.blogspot.ca/2011/03/on-spreading-hope.html" target="_blank">importance of spreading hope</a>. On the <a href="http://nailaj.blogspot.ca/2009/09/on-hand-washing.html" target="_blank">amazing effect of hand-washing on reducing water-born illnesses</a>. On the <a href="http://nailaj.blogspot.ca/2011/05/on-making-positive-impact.html" target="_blank">impact of your donation</a>. On how <a href="http://nailaj.blogspot.ca/2010/03/on-2010-world-partnership-walk-in.html" target="_blank">fundraising campaigns shouldn't focus on negative, sad images but rather, on positive, uplifting stories</a>.</div>
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Last year, I raised just over $2,000. This year, I'm simply hoping that my passion for making the world a better place one step at a time will inspire you to fuel my spark. <a href="http://fundraise.worldpartnershipwalk.com/goto/NailaJ" target="_blank">Make a birthday donation to the World Partnership Walk</a>. Inspire me to keep walking the Walk, year after year. Together, we can inspire the world to walk together towards a better future.</div>
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<a href="http://worldpartnershipwalk.com/walk-in-your-city/toronto.html" target="_blank">Join me on Sunday, May 27th, 2012 for the World Partnership Walk at Metro Hall in Toronto</a>. Meanwhile, feel free to ask me any question at all about the Walk, my experience visiting some of the projects our donations help fund, or AKFC's approach of longterm, sustainable international development that helps people help themselves.</div>
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Any amount, from $10 to $100 will make a world of change. <a href="http://fundraise.worldpartnershipwalk.com/goto/NailaJ" target="_blank">Click here to make a donation now</a>.</div>
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Go ahead. Inspire me.</div>NailaJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13051264350972635364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22016352.post-26341951367025351702012-02-18T13:39:00.000-05:002012-02-18T13:39:01.169-05:00On reaching the 100,000 tweets #milestoneYes, you read that right. If all goes as planned, the link to this blog post will be my 100,000th tweet. One hundred THOUSAND! Now that's a milestone!<br />
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It's incredible. I don't know how I made it this far. Sure, it helps that I started tweeting on July 15, 2007. And that I used to live-tweet many sporting and breaking news events.<br />
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I'm also known for my high rate of retweets. If something is interesting, worth reading, or worth thinking about, whether or not I agree with it, I retweet it. It helps start a conversation that would not take place otherwise. And quite honestly, I've had some amazing discussions following innocent, innocuous retweets, and not always about easy topics.<br />
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But I think that most of my tweets came from my high volume of interaction, which, after all, is the whole point of Twitter. I routinely come back to my phone after spending time tweeting from the computer to see <a href="http://www.twitter.com/nailaj" target="_blank">@NailaJ</a> has 97+ mentions.<br />
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Clearly, I must be doing something right.<br />
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To me, it's not just about sharing with others but also responding to what others share with you. The basis of humanity is interaction, and since we're all so busy with our very individualistic work/fun/food/gym/sleep life routines, Twitter is a way to break through the isolation that has now become quite a normal affair.<br />
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When I first moved to Kingston, as I told <a href="http://www.kingstonlife.ca/" target="_blank">Kingston Life</a> Magazine in my first (of many?) <a href="http://eedition.kingstonlife.ca/doc/kingston-life/kingstonlife_jan-feb2012/2012010301/#0" target="_blank">cover</a> <a href="http://eedition.kingstonlife.ca/doc/kingston-life/kingstonlife_jan-feb2012/2012010301/#32" target="_blank">story</a> on social media, I found a community in Twitter. I learned all about my new home, and more than many native Kingstonians, through Twitter. I made friends that will last a lifetime. I helped build Kingston into a better community (I hope!) by contributing to the discussion about and in Kingston and promoting the <a href="https://twitter.com/#!/search/%23ygk" target="_blank">#ygk</a> hashtag with the <a href="http://www.lnmg.ca/" target="_blank">Limestone New Media Group</a>.<br />
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When I found out that I was moving to Hamilton, the first thing I did, even before looking up apartments - and y'all know how tough that would be for a house-obsessed person like me - is looking up active and influential Twitter accounts in the area. I started making a <a href="https://twitter.com/#!/NailaJ/steeltown" target="_blank">Steeltown</a> list before I could officially announce my move. I started tracking the <a href="https://twitter.com/#!/search/%23HamOnt" target="_blank">#HamOnt</a> hashtag. And once the secret was out, I immediately started following local leaders on Twitter.<br />
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It's how I came to meet so many awesome local people and visit so many awesome local businesses in less than three months. It's how I learned more about the community that I am now actively attempting to connect with, and not just for work purposes. It's how I'm slowly starting to adapt to being a Hamiltonian. And it's how I will come to understand my place in this community.<br />
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I can't wait.<br />
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Meanwhile, I will keep tweeting and keep connecting through Twitter. And one day, I will make it to 200,000 tweets. Maybe. If you keep tweeting with me.NailaJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13051264350972635364noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22016352.post-9349990278558771322012-02-13T22:39:00.000-05:002012-02-13T22:39:53.167-05:00On the 2012 AHL Outdoor ClassicThe highlight of my past three months with the Hamilton Bulldogs has got to be the delightfully successful organization of the 2012 AHL Outdoor Classic at Ivor Wynne Stadium on January 20-21.<br />
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It was a whirlwind of an event, from planning and preparation to putting on both game days to the wrap-up and all the follow-up needed to ensure that the event was truly successful. A once-in-a-lifetime affair to remember.<br />
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My daily to-do list was so extensive, it was hard to imagine that I would ever get through it all. That the day would ever arrive. Eventually, I did, of course, and it did. But it wasn't an easy process. The cameras made it look amazing, but a lot of work went into creating what you saw if you watched the broadcast on Sportsnet or on the NHL Network. A lot of sleepless nights, too, which lead to frustrating conversations in office hallways. But at the end of every overwhelming day, we were all friends again.<br />
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In the end, it was all worth it.<br />
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It took me until mid-way through the second period of Saturday's game between the Bulldogs and the Toronto Marlies to realize that we'd actually done it. We had put on an Outdoor Classic. All the accreditations had been beautifully designed, assembled, properly distributed; press releases written, spellchecked, printed, sent; food ordered, placed, consumed. Media happy in the press box? Check! Media requests were planned, unplanned, re-planned. Broadcasters accommodated? Check!<br />
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Somehow, through all the madness, it all went flawlessly. I still cannot truly understand how that happened. I don't know if I even believe that it did. From the beginning of my time with the 'Dogs, it was all Outdoor Classic all the time. Oh, and, you know, normal everyday regular season activities too. But still, through it all, the focus was the Outdoor Classic. And then, just like that, in 48 hours, it was done. All wrapped up in a pretty little winter package and sent off to live in posterity in the memories of the thousands of fans who populated the stands, and the thousands more who watched it on TV.<br />
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Wow. We did it.<br />
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I am so proud of our team for putting this on. I am so happy and excited and fortunate to have been a part of this spectacular, once-in-a-lifetime event. And I am absolutely ecstatic at all the positive feedback we received from members of the media, league officials, fans... Amazing. Fantastic. Fabulous.<br />
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Thank you all for being a part of it, in your little ways. Whether you attended, watched, participated in helping me brainstorm or listened to my late night rants... Thank you. You were all part of the success of this event. And I couldn't have done it without you.NailaJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13051264350972635364noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22016352.post-62740102087321834902012-01-01T10:30:00.000-05:002012-01-01T10:30:03.040-05:00On moving forwardIn case you haven't heard the news, the last month or so has been a whirlwind of change. My life has undergone a complete transformation. I went from a grad student looking for my way to the Director of Media Relations for the Hamilton Bulldogs.<br />
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Yeah. Crazy stuff!<br />
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So, naturally, I had to pack up all my stuff and move to Hamilton. In about a week and a half. Thankfully, I'd found an apartment just before my trip - yes, I knew way back then but had to keep the secret - and I had also started the process of purchasing a car at that time.<br />
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I spent the first week in this adorable retirement home that was basically across the street from Copps Coliseum, aka Work, aka My Second Home. Seriously, I spend lots of time at the rink. But I love it. I really do. I'd forgotten how much I loved reporting from a live game, and live tweeting a game, and most importantly, media planning. Plus, I got thrown right into the middle of things with a huge press conference about the 2012 AHL Outdoor Classic game taking place here in Hamilton on January 20-21st, 2012. SO very excited to be a part of this amazing, exceptional, historic, once-in-a-lifetime event.<br />
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But it hasn't been all coming up roses. I've had my share of negative experiences since moving to Steeltown - mainly involving cars. Hilarious (not) stories that I will some day shake my head at and laugh at when I tell them. It's been mostly positive, but as with all transitions, there are always bad moments and good moments. Like realizing I have noisy upstairs neighbours again, or that the work on my apartment wasn't completed before I move in.<br />
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But as I have learned, in the grand scheme of things, that's not important. What's important is the people that you surround yourself with and who make a difference in your life. And I have a fantastic network of family and friends. My Kingston friends have been incredibly supportive, and my newfound Hamilton friends are proving to be wonderful as well. Plus, I've had amazing feedback from all my non-local friends. It really does make you feel blessed.<br />
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Most importantly, the past month has put me in a whole new frame of mind. Some of the things that used to worry me are no longer at the top of my concerns list. And again, I've learned that I need to let go of things I cannot control.<br />
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So my goal for 2012? I resolve to bring only the positive with me into this new year, and leave all the toxic, negative thoughts and experiences behind. I'm excited!! :)<br />
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Happy New Year!NailaJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13051264350972635364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22016352.post-76972594772160362422011-11-23T09:42:00.000-05:002011-11-23T09:42:00.065-05:00On travels and tribulationsI just came back from a three-week trek to the US. And what a wonderfully varied trip it was!<br />
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First stop, Minneapolis for the 2011 NASSS Conference. I was giving two presentations, though that's against the rules, in theory. But, I wasn't breaking the rules, in theory. My first presentation was actually for a co-authored paper, as part of my summer research assistanceship. You can re-watch <a href="http://www.slideshare.net/NailaJ/averyone-has-an-opinion-twitter-samesex-marriage-and-the-nhl" target="_blank">Avery-one Has An Opinion: Twitter, Same-Sex Marriage, and the NHL here</a>. My second presentation was based on a paper I wrote last year. Watch <a href="http://www.slideshare.net/NailaJ/tweeting-the-game-is-livetweeting-reshaping-the-nhl-fandom-experience" target="_blank">Tweeting the Game: Is live-tweeting reshaping the NHL fandom experience here</a>.<br />
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But this trip wasn't all business. I did some shopping at Target. Several times. Including at the original store location. I rode a rollercoaster at the Mall of America. And I got to see the local area through the eyes of a co-conference attendee and friend who is from the area. Plus, I got to meet <a href="http://www.celebrationgeneration.com/" target="_blank">Celebration Generation</a>!!<br />
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Next stop, Phoenix, where I stayed with a friend and explored the area for a few days before attending my cousin's amazing wedding. I visited the Heard Museum, an experience that made me smile at all the beautiful symbolism but also deeply angered me. There was so much "othering" in the exhibits, as well as by the tour guide, that I left more frustrated than anything.<br />
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I also drove up to Meteor Crater (on Historic Route 66!!), the largest and most well-preserved meteorite landing site on Earth. What an amazing and jaw-dropping experience! It's one of those things that photos just can't do justice, so I won't even bother posting one here. You have to see it in person to understand. The vastness makes for a truly spiritual experience that cannot be replicated. Nature is simply... ungraspable.<br />
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The wedding events were absolutely spectacular too. As a part of the family, I was able to attend basically everything, and, as a wedding lover, I was in heaven. On one of the days, between the civil ceremony and the mendhi night, I also got out for a hike! I chose Pietsewa Peak rather than Camelback or Echo Mountain because it was supposed to be less steep. This was the case... in theory. The terrain was very rocky and there were several ups and downs along the way. My knee was very unhappy. But just imagine if I'd gone with a steep trail! After 2.5 miles of my 4ish, I started feeling stabs of pain that made it very tough to walk. It didn't help that the trail indications were a bit confusing. But with some rest and inspiration from a Ms Tracy Lee I met on my last leg, I made it 'til the end!<br />
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Tracy told me about her connective tissue disorder, and how her doctors say she should be in a wheelchair. Instead, she hikes Phoenix mountains almost daily despite her torn ligaments and dislocations. And the best part is, she was inspired by me in return! She was glad I took the time to appreciate the mountain when so many locals don't, and despite my recurring knee pain. And all of this started with my simple question about how her Vibram Five Fingers were holding up on the rocky terrain.<br />
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After a day of rest, it was time to test my knee on the dance floor... but sadly, I could not bear to even stand in heels. I did dance most of the night away in my flats though, and the fun and cousin time was absolutely worth it!<br />
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The one downside of this leg of the trip was our hotel woes. We stayed at the Homewood Hilton in Biltmore-Phoenix. The room was fine... until the card reader decided to stop working on wedding day, leaving us stranded without our outfits and running hours late. After 3.5 hours, two technicians, and two failed attempts to get us in (using a card reader resetting machine and attempting to jack the door), the manager <i style="font-weight: bold;">finally</i> decided to take us up on our many many suggestions to try to get in through the window. Within 10 minutes, she was in, having shimmied the locked window "just enough". At ceremony start time. My brother was therefore 2.5 hours late, and I, 1 hour late.<br />
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Needless to say, we were very unhappy. We refused to pay for the rooms, and requested a new room. How can I feel safe knowing that, 1. I can get locked out at any time, and 2. Someone can come in through my window in the middle of the day or night and steal my stuff, or worse? But that's all water under the bridge now. The wedding - the part I got to see - was wonderful<br />
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Next up, a family roadtrip to the Grand Canyon. Absolutely spectacular. Sunrise, sunset, a few hikes (mini for me, short to average length for everyone else), and amazing once-in-a-lifetime sights. The first day started off on a sour note, though. After all my careful planning, we ran late and missed the very beginning of sunrise. Then, in the afternoon, when my memory card was full, I tried to delete the first batch of pictures, which I had already transferred. For some reason, despite the confirmation message, my camera deleted that morning's batch instead. I was heartbroken. I only discovered this on our very last stop of the day. I lost so many unique shots that the rest of my family didn't get to capture, including shots of them. Thankfully, my SLR captured the landscape, but it's the people shots and the things I wanted to share with all of you that I (still) miss the most. Oh, and to cap off the day, I lost my new thermal hat.<br />
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Good news though! Day 2 was better! We found my hat in a parking lot we'd frequented, got to sunrise in plenty of time, and had another wonderful, jaw-dropping Grand Canyon day. And after sunset in Sedona, we hit the road for...<br />
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The final stop: Los Angeles for some time with our family there. So much fun! We got to hang out as cousins, I relived my childhood at Disneyland (best part: Aladdin the Musical), shopped at some outlets (and another Target), got an amazing $30 full body massage (Super Relax Massage in Chatsworth. Look it up!), finally saw Santa Monica and biked to Venice Beach from the pier (at sunset!), and had some wonderful food (Mmm... Rock Sugar). Oh, and I discovered my new favourite store ever: Cost Plus World Market. WOW. Walking through that store is like taking a stroll in my brain. But... my camera's acting up again, refusing to focus. I guess it's time for a new toy!<br />
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After a quick stop in Montreal, I'm back in Kingston trying to sort out my life. If history is any indication, it'll take me three days to unpack. And then a week to do laundry. But hey, that's what happens when you get back to real life, right?NailaJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13051264350972635364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22016352.post-73621270167754489822011-10-22T07:45:00.000-04:002011-10-22T07:45:00.652-04:00On lessons from a century of lifeA few days ago, one of my close friends' grandmother passed away. She was 104 years old.<br />
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No, that's not a typo.<br />
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Though I never had the pleasure of meeting her, I did get to know her fairly well through my friend. He told me some of her stories, and stories of her, that made me laugh and made me cry. He may have a few years on me, but even he admits that it's hard to envisage or ever comprehend just how much she experienced in her lifetime. Think about it.<br />
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104 years ago, Pablo Picasso was alive and painting. John Wayne was born. Dmitry Mendeleyev, the guy who created the table of elements, passed away.<br />
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They'd just invited the first photocopier. Airplanes didn't exist yet. Let me repeat: AIRPLANES DID NOT EXIST. In fact, the term was coined in 1907.<br />
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Think back to your "modern" history class. Most of it took place in her lifetime. What a wonderful time it must have been to live! So many amazing discoveries to experience! So much to learn about and so many new places to explore!<br />
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I'm sure there is a lot my friend's grandma still could have taught me, and everyone else in my generation. She had strong opinions and values, but she seemed to be an extremely loving, warm, accepting, intelligent, life-long learner.<br />
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From my friend's stories, his grandma and I seemed to be kindred spirits. We both understood the importance of always smiling and learning to laugh. Of counting our blessings and being thankful for them too. Of appreciating the people around us and helping them in any way possible. And especially, the importance of loving, because love is the greatest blessing any one of us can bestow.<br />
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Most importantly, my friend's grandma taught me the difference between being lucky and being fortunate. Most of the times we say "I'm lucky" what we really mean is "I'm fortunate". What's the difference? You've got to work for the latter. The only time you're lucky is when winning the lottery, she used to scold him. Being at the right place at the right time for that job opportunity? That's called being fortunate that all your hard work finally paid off. Having someone to take care of you when you're sick? Yeah, you're not lucky to have them in your life, but fortunate.<br />
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It may seem like a subtle difference, but this difference is of the utmost importance. And learning to use the right word means you've learned to appreciate everything you have, to recognize that you are in control of your own destiny, and are thankful for your blessings.<br />
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That's what over a century of life teaches you.<br />
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I am fortunate to have known my friend's grandma, and I am even more fortunate that mine is still around to teach me life lessons like these. She may not be 104, but she's still got loads to share!<br />
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<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdUgAnpee8U"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">*** RIP Elsie Maddock, 1906-2011 ***</span></i></a></div>NailaJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13051264350972635364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22016352.post-39701258328435295122011-10-06T19:36:00.000-04:002011-10-06T19:36:24.452-04:00On vague reflectionsSometimes, the answer is not where you expect to find it. It's not what you've been building up to or what you've worked so hard to accomplish.<br />
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Sometimes, finding the answer means going back to the beginning, to your origin story, to see where you belong.<br />
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Sometimes, the answer is right in front of you and has been all along. You just couldn't see it because you didn't know you could, or even that it existed.<br />
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Sometimes, the answer is something you didn't ever think possible, so you abandoned it long ago. But when the universe opens up that opportunity to you once more, you cannot ignore it.<br />
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Sometimes, the answer is doing what you always wanted to do but never thought you could, though you always knew you could, and that you would be good at it, if you could.<br />
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I think I have found my answer. And though it will be scary and hard to let go of everything I have become, I don't see how I can live with myself if I don't try.<br />
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Because if I succeed, I think I can truly have it all.<br />
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Fingers crossed!NailaJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13051264350972635364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22016352.post-43635172586974826082011-09-26T13:15:00.000-04:002011-09-26T13:15:23.993-04:00On making choicesI seem to be having an identity crisis these days. I hear it's <a href="http://abcnews.go.com/Business/Careers/Story?id=688240">quite common</a> amongst others in my age group.<br />
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Many people have them upon reaching a major milestone or realizing a significant achievement. Some have one earlier in life, and others, much later. Some, like me, have them often. Apparently, it's a personality trait to be constantly searching for new, or bigger and better. Perhaps it is why my interests and ambitions are so varied... It keeps me feeling involved and evolved, growing yet dedicated to the task at hand.</div>
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Since the past few months have been so tumultuous for me, it's no wonder that finally submitting my thesis proposal would be a major source of relief. While everything else in my life is still a developing story, meeting my academic deadline is definitely good news. Yet, more than ever, I find myself wondering what's next. One bundle of stress has been replaced by a gazillion others.</div>
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Where does my future lie, I ask myself day in and day out. When waking up or trying really hard to fall asleep. When switching tabs and trying to get some work done. When doing the dishes or showering. When... Well, you get the point. It's a major source of worry for me.</div>
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As an overthinker and an overanalyzer, I've been picking out all my interests as they peak and asking myself if they're the path I want to follow. I love Kingtson dearly and have made many friends here, but let's face it, my career goals probably require a move. Then again, there's the possibility of staying in Kingston forever and ever, because I love it so.</div>
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I'll let you in on a not-so-secret... While I've been working on my Masters', I've also been applying to jobs that would fall under the "dream" category. Social media consultant positions in the sports industry, marketing, communications or social media director with pro sports organizations, even reporting at the London 2012 Olympic and Paralympic Games. Some applications have gone further than others - sometimes quite surprisingly! - but in the end, all roads have led to disappointment and doubt. Perhaps it's the "ongoing research" part of my CV or the tiny little fact that I can't legally work in the USA unless someone sponsors me. Or maybe I just suck at writing captivating cover letters for an HR audience - I do tend to aim them more towards Senior VPs. Or maybe, just maybe, I'm not good enough.</div>
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Because after all, that's the thought that always sparks identity crises, whether on the personal or professional front. "Maybe I'm not good enough."</div>
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And the worst part is, there's no way of truly getting an honest, accurate answer. People will rarely tell you to your face, and though rejection letters seem to be saying that you're not, we've all learned by now that sometimes, it's just because you weren't the right person at the right place at the right time who knows the right insider. Or at least, that's what they tell me. That and, "Don't give up!" or "Sometimes you have to take a step back to take a step forward," or any other similar supposedly encouraging clichés.</div>
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Let me be blunt. I am not a spoiled, stuck-up brat who thinks the world should be handed to me on a platter. But I've done my due diligence, and I'm tired of entry level positions that go nowhere. I know I can do the job, anyone who's ever worked with me knows I can do the job, heck! Even random network contacts on Twitter know I can do the job! And yet this road seems to lead nowhere. It's hard not to get discouraged. I will keep applying, but there's only so much disappointment and rejection one can take.</div>
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And so one must explore other avenues. Yes, I still crave work in the sports industry. I crave it like I do chocolate when I'm PMSing (or any time, really.) But the world doesn't stop spinning or wait for you to understand precisely what it is you need to get that little boost, gain that tiny little edge, and get you where you want and need to be to feel fulfilled professionally.</div>
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Other roads that seem to hold this promise include the previous mentioned "Stay in Kingston forever because I love it" scenario as well as the brand new and surprising (to me) "Pursue a PhD" option.</div>
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No, really! The girl who was afraid of completing a thesis is still here, but she is now freaking out about comps (comprehensive examinations), committing to a long-term research idea instead of a spontaneous one, quantitative courses like Statistics and Variables, and, more urgently, taking the GMAT or GRE standardized test. That's the big one. The barrier to entry, so to speak. At least from way over here, comps seem relatively benign in comparison to the big, looming, "better score high or forget about it" standardized test.</div>
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Yes, I'm aware there are courses and study guides and practice tests. Still. Fellow graduate students, when was the last time you took a closed book, closed environment exam? (Don't answer that, MBAs!) It's a scary scenario when it's been a while, and yet one I'm increasingly strongly considering. Or at least exploring. I've still got a thesis to write, after all, and I would really prefer a program that allowed me flexibility in my course plan so that I feel intellectually stimulated and challenged in all the right ways. And like I'm finally on track. So if you're aware of any excellent innovative Sports Management PhD programs in Canada or the USA, I'm all ears!</div>
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And then there's the Kingston plan. I've said it before (at least twice in this post alone!), I <3 Kingston. There's something about it that's charming and exciting. Perhaps the mix of old and new, the blend of city and country. Whatever it is, it repeatedly fills me with joy and childlike glee. Maybe I could build a life in Kingston, I think. Consult (social media), communicate (PR), start a business (CarShare Kingston). All three options are interesting and viable and have been suggested to me by other Kingston residents as well. But these feelings are eerily similar to ones I've felt before about the media industry and the sports industry, and we all know how that's working out.</div>
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If I were to choose Kingston, I think I would run for City Councillor in 2014, the next municipal elections. It would be interesting, challenging, stimulating, and it would make me feel like I'm accomplishing something important by representing my fellow residents at City Hall. It would also be a responsibility I would wholeheartedly enjoy and dedicate myself too.</div>
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These traits are also the ones friends and colleagues point out when I mention the possibility of doing a PhD. "You like research and you're good at it." It's true. I love digging, discovering, and sharing. I've often been told I would be a good teacher. I would like to think I'd be a better professor - I'd be teaching people who, for the most part, are in my classroom by choice. The only aspect of academia that I'm not 100% in tune with is the highly political process of funding applications and other higher education administrative games.<br />
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Maybe I'm an idealist, but I believe that most research has value, and that should be enough for funding agencies. I'm not sure where the money should come from, but I just don't like the thought of competing against my friends and colleagues every year, not just for money but for tenure. It gets to be damaging. Sure, I'm pretty competitive and I like to win. But I also like harmonious working environments and I feel like this process fosters quite the opposite in most departments.</div>
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In the end, I may choose a completely different path, perhaps one that hasn't even been revealed to me yet. Meanwhile, I'm struggling with the three roads in front of me. Doing nothing is not an option, though delaying a choice by defaulting to Kingston might be. At as now, there is no pressing urge to commit to a single road - except to stop the clock in my head from ticking annoyingly - and I will keep marching along on all three for as long as I can. But ultimately, a choice must be made, and as application deadlines creep increasingly closer, I must at least decide whether I will be deciding now or not.</div>
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Maybe I'm just impatient. Maybe I'm just letting various sources of stress gang up on me, overwhelming and confusing me. But this identity crisis is as real as any, and the planner in me wants to know <b><i>now</i></b>, so at least I can cross certain items of my to-do list, thereby reducing overall stress levels and allowing life to proceed at a totally tolerable, no longer terrible, operationally cautionary rhythm and rate.<br />
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As Douglas Adams would say, "<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don%27t_Panic_(The_Hitchhiker%27s_Guide_to_the_Galaxy)#Don.27t_Panic">DON'T PANIC!</a>"</div>
NailaJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13051264350972635364noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22016352.post-74432103743789392552011-09-12T16:53:00.001-04:002011-09-12T16:55:27.667-04:00On summerIs it September already? Welcome back to "real life", they tell me when they learn I'm in Grad School. After all, the beginning of September means the return to classes and homework, right? Then I mention that I'm a full-time, year-round student who has been working on research and writing papers all summer. Their response? Usually something along the lines of, "Oh."<br />
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For most grad students, the only difference between summer and the "school year" is that your supervisor likely isn't teaching and in fact, might be on vacation. Also, you probably aren't TAing, so you have more flexibility over your activities and whereabouts... as long as you get all your work done on time.<br />
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Understandably, the days all melt into one another, and the desire to take extended breaks on beautiful sunny days is often overwhelming. However, work is work and deadlines are deadlines, and at the end of the day/week/month/summer, it all has to get done.<br />
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I submitted my thesis proposal to my supervisor last week. THE big task on my summer to-do list will soon be crossed off, once I officially submit it to my soon-to-be-formed thesis proposal committee.<br />
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To me, this feels like the beginning of summer. I can finally move forward from all the drama, academic and otherwise, in my life and start fresh... More or less. Though my health issues aren't resolved yet, negative test results are a form of diagnosis, so we're getting closer. I'm feeling secure in my friendships and my connection with the Kingston community. And I really enjoyed my sports TV break, working the LPGA CN Canadian Women's Open in Montreal for CBC, despite the ridiculous weather.<br />
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I think I'm getting better at figuring myself out and what I want and need in life. This means I am finally allowing myself to put "me" first at times and do things for myself instead of letting people I like (or want to like me) walk all over me. (Granted, I never let them walk ALL over me, but I did give them much more leeway than they deserved.)<br />
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Life, my friends, is good. This is what growing up is all about. And this summer made me realize that you really do keep learning all life long, and you keep growing up, bit by bit, until your life comes to an end.<br />
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And now that summer has ended academically, it's time for me to catch up on all the little things you let slide while working away on projects or studying for exams. You know, the cleaning and sorting and cooking real food for dinner. Taking care of yourself and rewarding yourself for all your hard work by actually getting things done in other sectors of your life. This is what summer is all about.<br />
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My summer starts now.NailaJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13051264350972635364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22016352.post-62645132565062482642011-08-17T14:49:00.005-04:002011-08-17T15:16:45.066-04:00On Request: Blueberry Cake with Coulis<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>Earlier today, I mentioned on Twitter that my Mom was baking an amazing-smelling blueberry cake with citrusy accents. I immediately received recipe requests. So tweeps, this is for you!<div>
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<br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EEqkaoRsu_A/TkwSah2vNrI/AAAAAAAAAQk/g7v229x6uCM/s320/Blueberry%2Bcake%2Band%2Bcoulis.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5641904680162244274" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px; " /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; ">
<br /></span></div><div><b><u>Blueberry Cake</u></b></div><div><b><u>
<br /></u></b></div><div><b>Ingredients:</b></div><div>2 cups of blueberries, fresh or frozen (thawed)</div><div>1 teaspoon of lemon juice</div><div>1/3 cup of milk</div><div>1/4 cup of butter, refrigerated and cut into 4 pieces</div><div>3/4 cup of sugar</div><div>1 egg</div><div>4 squares of lemon zest measuring 1 inch per side</div><div>1 1/2 cups of all-purpose flour</div><div>2 teaspoons baking powder</div><div>1/2 teaspoon of salt</div><div>
<br /></div><div><b>Step-by-step instructions:</b></div><div>Wash and strain the blueberries. Lay them on paper towels to dry.</div><div>
<br /></div><div>Add the lemon juice to the milk, reserve. </div><div>Pre-heat the oven at 350F.</div><div>
<br /></div><div>Place the blade attachment into your food processor. Add the butter, sugar, egg and lemon zest. Turn on the food processor for about 20 seconds to chop up the zest and mix the ingredients. Add the milk and lemon juice mixture into the opening while the processor is still running. Stop.</div><div>
<br /></div><div>Add the flour, baking powder and salt. Pulse 3 or 4 times to mix the ingredients. Don't over-pulse. Remove the blade from the appliance. Add the blueberries. Mix delicately by hand. Spread the batter in a greased, 8 inch square pan.</div><div>
<br /></div><div>Bake in the oven for 40 to 45 minutes.</div><div>
<br /></div><div><b><u>Blueberry Coulis</u></b></div><div><b><u>
<br /></u></b></div><div>While the recipe above came with its own icing instructions, my Mom likes to mix and match with the following coulis topping recipe instead. It's a gazillion times tastier. (Also, it means I don't have to translate the recipe from the food processor book!)</div><div>
<br /></div><div><b>Ingredients:</b></div><div>2 cups of fresh or frozen blueberries</div><div>1/4 cup of water</div><div>3/4 cup of sugar</div><div>2 tablespoons of butter</div><div>2 tablespoons of lemon juice</div><div>2 teaspoons of cornstarch dissolved in 2 teaspoons of water</div><div>
<br /></div><div><b>Instructions:</b></div><div>Combine blueberries, sugar and water, and cook in a saucepan over medium heat until blueberries are soft. Add lemon juice, butter and cornstarch. Cook until mixture thickens (don't worry if it gets a bit bubbly). </div><div>Cool slightly before topping the cake.</div><div>
<br /></div><div>You should also let the cake cool before adding the topping. </div><div>
<br /></div><div>Et voilà! An amazing yet simple concoction that has remained one of our favourites over the years. </div><div>
<br /></div><div>Enjoy!</div></div>NailaJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13051264350972635364noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22016352.post-11745021915517326822011-08-09T11:17:00.008-04:002011-08-09T12:05:44.438-04:00On TimeA whole month has gone by, it seems, and these days more than ever, I am aware of the passing of time. It's not just the minutes and seconds of every day that seem to expire too fast or too slow, it is the implications of those moments.<div>
<br /></div><div>In the past month, I've seen so many different explorations of "time". Not enough time in a day. Too much time to do something. Having the time of your life. At this point in time. Time goes by. In time. On time. Long-time. Feels like the first time. Time-sensitive material. Timely answers. Bedtime. Timeless magic. Having time to kill. Time standing still. Things changing over time. Overtime. Taking the time. Perfectly timed comebacks. Keeping time. Love that will last for all time. Until the end of time. In the meantime. Timing. Time management. Time-tracking. Time and time again. Time out. </div><div>
<br /></div><div>Time to change.</div><div>
<br /></div><div>That's the kicker, ain't it? No matter how time seems to be moving around you, it always boils down to deciding whether or not to change (tasks, ways of thinking, position, feelings...).</div><div>
<br /></div><div>In the past month, I've had some wonderful times and some stressful times. Emotional times too. I went to the Taylor Swift concert in Montreal with an amazing friend, and also got to spend time with my family. I went to my cousin's beautiful wedding weekend and got to meet, re-meet and simply enjoy the company of my extended family. I took the time to explore Kingston a little bit more, the hidden sights and the touristy ones, alone, with a local friend, and with a visiting long-time friend. And through it all, I had the time of my life.</div><div>
<br /></div><div>In the past month, I have also wished that time could just stop for a bit so I could catch up, catch my breath, and catch on. My health symptoms seem to have stabilised for the most part... until I get sudden, painful reminders that we haven't discovered their source or cause yet. Tests have ruled out some of the more obvious answers so now we're left wondering and doing more tests. At least I'm not spending half my day in the washroom anymore, at least not every day. But not knowing what foods to avoid and what is "safe" is definitely a pain - I can't predict when I will feel sick so I've adopted the bad habit of delaying eating to avoid symptoms. Not cool.</div><div>
<br /></div><div>One of the tests we did was an allergy test. I've always been allergic to all the common triggers - dust, mold, pets, pollen, ragweed - but I wanted to get re-tested to see if the combination of never-ending allergy shots as a child and puberty might have desensitized me to some of those allergens. I also wanted to find out if I really was allergic to asparagus, as we'd suspected since the age of 2, when I had my first asthma attack after having it as my "new food of the day". Sure enough, some of my pollen allergies had disappeared over time. And I was so allergic to asparagus that I now have a couple of Epipens and am getting a MedicAlert bracelet - at least they're prettier these days then when I was a child! Also, the allergist tested my breathing, which was apparently not under control. Asthma meds have been upped but at least now that the doctor has prescribed additional measures, I can't be lazy about it. Time to turn the negative into the positive!</div><div>
<br /></div><div>In the past month, I've also had some stressful times, trying to figure out if Queen's University and the Faculty Association will come to an agreement in time and avoid a strike or lockout. We should know more in the coming days, when the "No Board" deadline is activated. In the meantime, job action measures are creating delays not only in services but in my ability to get work done. It's hard to feel confident about investing time into putting together a thesis proposal when you know that if you have a quick question, you're going to have to wait a long time for an answer - two weeks turnaround time, to be exact. So I've been procrastinating, which no doubt has led to more stress. Tack on the stress of my health issues, making ends meet financially, the discovery of mold (which I'm allergic to) in my apartment (but that my landlord will likely do nothing about) and Pharaoh Ants (which are the hardest to get rid of, though my traps have been quite effective so far) in my kitchen, and you've got a bundle of sleepy, sleepless, restless, nerves. (That's me!)</div><div>
<br /></div><div>Over time, stress leads to anxiety and other hyper-emotional reactions, so everything seems to have a heightened impact. Which leads to more stress, of course, and a greater desire for a time out from life. But "in real life", there are no time outs. So it's time to change. Time to buckle up and get my ducks in a row. Yes, work/life balance is important. Yes, a healthy mind thrives in a healthy body. But since I can't seem to control the body part of that equation, I'm going to focus on the mind. I'm going to take the time I need to reset myself - in effect, taking a "real life" time out - by letting others help me manage my time. I'm going to crawl back to Mommy and Daddy and let them take care of me for a little bit of time, and I'm not afraid to say so or ashamed of it. </div><div>
<br /></div><div>Because time doesn't stand still. </div><div>
<br /></div><div>Time is going by so quickly and I need more time in my day to make sure I get my work done on time. And at this point in time, it's time that I acknowledge the passage of time and take advantage of the little time that I have left to take a young adult time-out before it's time for me to be giving them out. And then, you can be sure that I won't have time to kill.</div><div>
<br /></div><div>All in good time!</div>NailaJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13051264350972635364noreply@blogger.com0